Natasha not knowing what inspired Clint to save her life until one day she accidentally comes across his personnel file. She knows that she shouldn’t read it, but honestly, she’s never been all that good at curbing her curiosity.
So she reads about his time at the carnival, reads about everything the carnies did to him - everything his brother did to him - and sees that Nick was the one to bring him in, plucking him out of prison where he might have been facing the death penalty for finally fighting back against his abusers and killing three of them.
And when she sees him next, Natasha pulls Clint into a bone-crushing hug without explanation, and they stay like that for what feels like hours, her breathing him in, him stroking her hair and never asking why.
On an unrelated note, a Mister Barney Barton, one of the survivors of the carnival killings, finds his trailer broken into the next week, turned over and absolutely destroyed, with a note on the door that reads: I’ve got his back now. You better watch yours, asshole.
“this is about to get real cheesy in a hot minute (and she’ll never admit it, ‘cause, y’know, that’s natasha romanoff for you so you might as well hear it from me) but i feel like we saved more than each other’s asses that day–we saved ourselves too.”
and it scares me
knowing how lost I was without you
There was nothing I wouldn’t have done for you. To get you back. I overheard Rumlow call you a traitor during a briefing. Said it wasn’t the first time you strayed. Nodded in my direction with one of his stupid grins. I elbowed him in the face in a room full of people. Almost broke his nose.
I wanted to kill Loki, God or no God. He thought I came to trade and for a second I was almost ready to do it. To hand over the world in exchange for your mind.
It’s not that I can’t live without you. I guess we both know that I could. It’s just that I don’t want to. I don’t know how or when it happened exactly, but you’ve somehow become a part of me and and if you were no longer there, nothing could ever fill the void in the shape of you.
They all said you had been compromised. But the truth is, it was me…
What she means:
I am very concerned about Steve and Tony fighting, but my main worry is Clint and Natasha. Even though they weren't canon in the movies, their brotp is sacred and beautiful and seeing them on opposite sides freaks me out because after all that they have been through its unfathomable that they would ever fight. It would break both of them to hurt the other, and so I just can't imagine what civil war means for their relationship and it keeps me up at night
<b>Coulson:</b> [searching for Natasha in the crowd] I can't locate Romanoff. You have a twenty on her Barton?<p/><b>Barton:</b> No but I know how I can find her.<p/><b>Coulson:</b> I can just call her. [takes phone out of pocket] Barton, no need for-<p/><b>Barton:</b> [shouts] BARTON HAS BEEN COMPROMISED.<p/><b></b> [shouts of protest can be heard from the other side of the room]<p/><b>Romanoff:</b> MOVE OUT MY WAY YOU IDIOTS. I HAVE TO GO SAVE AN EVEN BIGGER IDIOT.<p/><b>Barton:</b> [smugly looks over at Coulson] Found her.<p/><b>Coulson:</b> You guys always seem to find a way to find each other.<p/><b>Barton:</b> Always.<p/></p>