my cat is a dumbass

must I be a raccoon to get inside your tanooki

this is what happens every time I use the computer.

I won’t subject you to it, but there’s usually fifteen minutes or more of this. Because I am a sucker, and he is my baby.

I thought about not posting this because my hair’s all fucking messy but then I logged on tumblr and my dash was full of positivity posts so fuck it messy pink hair commin’ at ya.

my cat loves the backyard, he  will spend hours there

 hes not afraid of motorcycles,or  loud cars that  go by

what scares the shit out of him?

 ice creams trucks

he  puffs out panics and wants to come in

 my mom has now told him the ice cream truck will take him away if he’s bad  and he takes off like a shot


Apparently these are the kind of pants that scare a cat. Maybe it was the leopard pattern?

Who knows… but I have owned these pants for about 4 years, and I have worn them repeatedly around both of my cats. Dash just decided to not like them today. 

He is still hiding halfway down my stairs. He cries every couple of minutes to remind us all that he’s there.

I finally got my cat to come in after sitting outside for about thirty minutes on my hammock (I know, I’m such a giver) and he came in and started howling for roughly twenty minutes.

It turns out he followed me into the laundry room and got locked in. He’s always yowling about something, so this is a real boy-who-cried-wolf situation. I had to rescue him from his own foolishness again!

I’ve forgiven him because he smells like the woods in a delicious way. Smelling like the woods is an excellent way to mitigate any bad feelings I have.

contrary to popular opinion, my cat is smarter than she acts
  • I'm lying on my mattress on the floor, talking to my mom
  • cat walks up next to mattress
  • mom whacks her on the nose by accident
  • mom:I didn't mean to do that! I was just trying to flick her ear!
  • me:... why.
  • mom:She was right next to my pills, I was afraid she was going to lick them.
  • me:I'd say that was a ridiculous idea, but she might actually do that.
  • some time later, the cat walks back up while we're still talking
  • cat:casually licks pills
  • mom:I told you so.
  • me:This is totally going on the internet.