my caps~

new moon in capricorn today! hope we all get to be quiet tonight and do our own reflections and spells. remember the power of release/intentions during new moons, and capricorn’s inherent tunnel vision. it’s a beautiful time to check in w projects, and recommit to our agendas and visions. the more intentional we are with our process and day to day, the firmer we’ll be in seeing it through. for a project obsessed bb like myself, this is a magic time. love us and all my blessings for our glow up <33

holyholtby  asked:

your choice, forgot a towel before showering (or the towel was stolen!) and they must go on a trek to find it

He had definitely taken a towel with him to the showers. He was very diligent about these sorts of things, and he had definitely grabbed one. But alas, he reached outside for the towel, and there was no towel. This had happened before, but not to him. He sighed. Looked like he was going to have to go and look for it.

Good thing he had a big dick.

* * *

It was not uncommon for Ovi to be seen wandering naked around the Capitals locker room. In fact, that was a fairly regular occurence. It was, however, uncommon for John Carlson to be seen wandering naked around the Capitals locker room.

“Alright, which one of you fuckers took my towel?” John announced to the locker room, standing before everyone, legs spread and hands on his hips, his manhood out there for everyone to see. “I know someone took it, so ‘fess up.”

John’s accusation was met by a room full of gasps and groans and offended shrieks. Nicky rolled his eyes, Willy stood stuck to the floor, and V ran out of the room. Ovi nodded slightly, looking impressed.

“Geez, Carly, cover yourself up or something,” Beags pleaded, shielding his eyes like he’d just looked into the sun.

“What, you don’t like it, Beags? I’m hurt,” John said as he sauntered over to Jay’s stall. “Or maybe you’re just jealous. Come on, Beags, whip it out, let’s compare.” He started wiggling.

“I have never wished to be more dead than I have in this moment,” Beags moaned.

“Just tell me where my towel is and I’ll stop,” John said, still wiggling.

“I didn’t take it. God, did you really think I’d want you to walk around here naked? That’s like my worst nightmare, you’re so cocky.” John giggled. “Man, shut up. Anyway, it wasn’t me. Go interrogate Burky, he is suspiciously looking away.”

It was true, Burky was pointedly looking in any other direction and his hand was shielding his face. John mercifully left Beags and sat next to Burky, whose face had turned completely red.

“So Burky, know anything about a stolen towel?” Carly asked, prodding Burky’s side with his elbow.

“…No?” Burky responded. His face was strained, as if he were trying to divert all available brain power into teleporting himself anywhere else.

“Well, that doesn’t sound very sure.” John inched closer and rested his arm on Burky’s shoulder, unsettling Burky’s composure. Burky’s eyes started darting back and forth, and the entire room could tell he was about five seconds from getting up and bolting.

“Come on, Burky, don’t lie to your favorite American father. Just tell me where my towel is.”

Burky looked like he was about to burst into tears. “I…I don’t know…”

John was two seconds away from doing something else to permanently traumatize Burky, but then a pair of jeans smacked him in the face.

“Stop being so dramatic and just put on some pants, save your dignity,” Brooks commanded. “We can torture Burky tomorrow, he’s had enough for one day.”

“You just can’t handle the fact that I’ve got a bigger dick than all of you,” John retorted. He did comply, pulling on the jeans that he was pretty sure weren’t his. “I’m letting you all off the hook for now, but I still want to know who took my towel.”

Even after they had all left the room, no one had noticed the extra towel in Grubi’s stall.