my bum is not flat though

anonymous asked:

Heyyy can u please do 11 and 22 alex standall x reader!fem? Thanksss love u!

Love you too! Thanks for requesting, sorry it’s kinda short but hey ho xx

#11: “I lost my number, can I have yours?” “[insert their name], I will hurt you.”
#22: “You played shit today, [insert their surname].” “But, I mean… I didn’t expect much else.”


You were at a small place downtown, Alex invited you. He was playing with some band friends publicly and demanded your support be there. You laughed when he asked, him exaggerating the severity, before accepting.

Him and his temporary band were up next and you were super excited. You know Alex was good at guitar, and the rest of his band were good at what they played too, so finally getting to see Alex in his element made butterflies fill your stomach.

You stood front row, watching as Alex and the band were called up, and grinning as your eyes met his. He chuckled to himself, getting into position, along with the others, before counting in.

The drums and guitar began, creating a sense of progression. You watched Alex intently, his fingers running along the neck of the guitar, his thumb strumming. He didn’t look at his hands, he needn’t have to. His eyes rest on yours, watching you watch him.

You grinned at him as the song continued, lyrics being sung with it now. You were so happy in that moment, as was Alex. That lil bean.


“So, what’d you think?”

You smiled at the voice and turned around to face Alex. “You played shit today, Standall.” You deadpanned, joking. “But, I mean… I didn’t expect much else.”

He quirked a brow, a small smile breaking out. “Wow,” He paused, stepping toward you. “I’m so offended.”

You shrugged nonchalantly at his flat tone, knowing that he wasn’t offended at all. “You should be.”

“I need to ask you a favour though,” He began. “And I know what you’re goi-”

“Just ask me, dumb bum.”

You met his eyes, watching as he lent against the bar beside you both. “I lost my number, can I have yours?”

You rolled your eyes, turning away from him slightly, almost gagging at how cheesy that pick up line is. “Alex, I will hurt you.” You promised.

He chuckled, nodding knowingly. “I know.”

“And you already have my number, noob.”


i want to cry i’m sorry this is so bad 

#280: 'Feet First'

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“Have ye lost your mind?” he demanded.

“And to sneak off like that without telling anyone, too! What if ye’d fallen? What if ye got ill again?” 

“If I’d told anyone, they wouldn’t have let me go out,” I said mildly. “And I am a physician, you know. Surely I can judge my own state of health.” 

He gave me a look, strongly suggesting that he wouldn’t trust me to judge a flower show, but merely gave a louder than usual snort in reply. 

He then picked me up bodily, carried me to the bed, and placed me gently into it—but with enough demonstration of restrained strength as to let me know that he would have preferred to drop me from a height. 

He then straightened up, giving me a baleful look. 

“If ye didna look as though ye were about to faint, Sassenach, I swear I would turn ye over and smack your bum for ye.” 

“You can’t,” I said, rather faintly. “I haven’t got one.” I was in fact a little tired … well, to be honest, my heart was beating like a kettledrum, my ears were ringing, and if I didn’t lie down flat at once, I likely would faint. I did lie down, and lay with my eyes closed, feeling the room spin gently round me, like a merry-go-round, complete with flashing lights and hurdy-gurdy music. 

Through this confusion of sensations, I dimly sensed hands on my legs, then a pleasant coolness on my heated body. Then something warm and cloudlike enveloped my head, and I flailed my hands about wildly, trying to get it off before I smothered. 

I emerged, blinking and panting, to discover that I was naked. I glanced at my pallid, sagging, skeletal remains, and snatched the sheet up over myself. Jamie was bending to collect my discarded gown, petticoat, and jacket from the floor, adding these to the shift he had folded over his arm. He picked up my shoes and stockings and added these to his bag. 

“You,” he said, pointing a long accusatory finger at me, “are going nowhere. You are not allowed to kill yourself, do I make myself clear?” 

“Oh, so that’s where Bree gets it,” I murmured, trying to stop my head from swimming. I closed my eyes again. 

“I seem to recall,” I said, “a certain abbey in France. And a very stubborn young man in ill health. And his friend Murtagh, who took his clothes in order to prevent his getting up and wandering off before he was fit.” 

Silence. I opened one eye. He was standing stock still, the fading light from the window striking sparks in his hair. 

“Whereupon,” I said conversationally, “if memory serves, you promptly climbed out a window and decamped. Naked. In the middle of winter.” 

The stiff fingers of his right hand tapped twice against his leg. 

“I was four-and-twenty,” he said at last, sounding gruff. “I wasna meant to have any sense.”

-A Breath of Snow and Ashes

If You Don't Know - Calum Hood

I followed quickly behind my best friend Daisy, her hand grabbing onto the maroon coloured jumper that drowned my body in warmth as the weather took a turn for the worse near the Christmas period. My scuffed brown combat boot kicked at a rock that was placed inconveniently on the pathways making more marks on the worn out boots that I had owned for years already, my legs covered by thick black leggings that were starting to stop serving their purpose as my legs started getting colder with each step I cautious took not wanting to step on an icy patch.

 A darker maroon beanie covered my messy hair after getting dragged out of bed by Daisy, she is my best friend and I love her to death - most of the time - but she knows I hate getting up before 11 o'clock unless we have school and right now we are on school holiday so I don’t see why she is dragging me across town at this time in the morning. My glasses were falling down the bridge of my nose as Daisy consistently tugged on my jumper to speed me up and pull me closer to her so that we could share a bit of body heat in the freezing cold.

“Where are we going?” I asked, sniffling as I felt my nose starting to run as we turned the corner towards the ice hockey arena that was in our town. Most places in America were obsessed with football, basketball or baseball but in this town hockey was the one thing that everyone would join together to go and watch. When me and family moved here from California when I was only 7 I was expecting everyone to be football crazy, the popular boys to be on the football team but it was completely different.

She stopped suddenly outside of the heavy glass door that I had walked through so many times before after coming to see Daisy and her dad as her dad Max coached the local hockey team, Daisy had been skating ever since she could walk really after what she had told me that she would always get dragged along with her dad to the open days where you could skate as much as you wanted.

“Okay so you are probably wondering why I brought you here” I raised my eyebrows and let out a small laugh as she already knew why she had brought me here yet I still wanted to hear why she did, from her own perspective “I just want to see hot boys skating to be honest” Both of our heads lent back slightly as we laughed at the sentence that had just come out of her mouth, we slowly but surely controlled the short bursts of laughter that would erupt from our mouths as she quickly opened the door pushing me inside and into the heat.

“Dad!” Daisy yelled across the sheet of ice that was surrounded by shields to protect the viewers from any flying pucks that might head their way during a violent game of hockey. He turned his head from talking to one of the teammates to look over, his hand waved at our quickly before patting the guy on the back and pushing him back onto the ice with the rest of his team to practice.

He met us half way as the three of us walked round the edge of the ice, my eyes following the boys and men mixed together effortlessly gliding on their personal skates. Some mucking around as they pushed each other around, I even noticed some of the boys from school and others that just lived round the area or some who used to attend education at the same school as me and Daisy but have left. “What are you girls doing here?” He asked after pulling the two of us into a hug, I was like apart of their family and the same with Daisy.

“We had nothing to do so I thought we could come and skate around a bit?” Her voice was full of hope as she tilted her head to the right slightly and gave her dad the puppy dog eyes and look, this is the way she gets everything she wants and it works 99% of the time which means that she could literally get away with murder in her family and they wouldn’t care.

“At…8:30 in the morning? I don’t think I have ever seen you up this early on a Saturday in a long time” He added a small laugh on the end of his sentence when we both saw the look on Daisy’s face drop, she knew that she had been caught. His arms wrapped around her shoulder joking about it as he led us over to where we could get a pair of skates. Max lent up against the little shack where you could see the row upon row of old and used skates, he whispered some words into the older mans ear who stood behind the counter before he retreated back over to the ice to coach the team.

We both gave the older man our shoe size, Daisy saying it quicker then me as she impatiently waited for him to retrieve the skates for her even though I am pretty sure she had her own pair back at home. The worn out laces were nearly brown from all the pulling and stress they had been put under over the years of being used over and over again, tightly tied in a neat bow at the top I held tightly onto the sleeve of Daisy’s hoodie that she had been wearing under her black coat.

“Why am I doing this?” I mumbled to myself as my grip tightened on the sleeve as one of my skate adorned foot touched the shiny surface of the ice, this was the second time in my whole life that I had been on the ice and the first time for after one of the big hockey matches where everyone crowded onto the ice to celebrate but what scared me now is that all I had keeping me up was a thin piece of metal secured onto the bottom of the shoe.

“Do you girls need some help? Max sent us over to see how you are” I looked up to see two boys standing proudly in their gleaming white skates which had a few small scratches here and there but other then that they looked perfect. One stood taller then the other even though the smaller one looked slightly older due to the stubble covering his jaw. Black hair and darker skin suited the taller one as he had a lop sided smile on his face as I started to loose my balance over nothing, his hands quickly reached out to grab my arms before I fell flat on my bum.

“I’m Calum, don’t worry I will catch you when you fall” His left eye dropped in a sly wink with the cheesy romantic comment but he hands stayed put on my arms, my eyes slowly wandered over his body. Tanned skin, his eyes drew you in that made you not want to turn away but eventually you would have to. A large practice jersey was pulled over his body and when he turned round after letting go of me to show me some moves I recognized the last name written in bold letters ‘HOOD’ his signature number placed underneath like every other teammate on the ice.

“Let’s get started”

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Okay so this is the first chapter so it would be good if you left feedback

Love you all, Georgie xoxo