my brain just does this sometimes


Ok so. I was watching Chicken Run the other day (which is probably my favorite movie ever), and I really, really wanted to draw all the characters because they just have such quirky personality traits. But of course, I couldn’t draw them as chickens. They had to be people. 

So there’s Ginger, Rocky, Mac, Babs, and Bunty.

Little space

Does anybody else constantly go in and out of little space? I feel like if I have the opportunity to be little my brains just there, even when it shouldn’t be sometimes and then I have to remember to be big… I’m still new and wondering how other people’s minds and emotions work when going in and out of little space.

often times my mouth doesn’t move as fast as my brain does, so I either end up pausing to think for long periods of time in the middle of a sentence or I end up jumbling words and stuttering as a result (this is a common symptom of ADHD)

and I want people with and without ADHD to understand this

so shout out to all my fellow peeps with ADHD or ADD

you’re not stupid

you’re not weird

just take a breath and know your brain is literally so full and smart and working that your body just has a hard time keeping up sometimes.

anonymous asked:

does gavin tailor his frontman style based on which enforcer is there with him? more jovial with lil j, colder with ryan etc?

Ooh that’s an interesting question, yes i think so. Gavin doesn’t take an enforcer on every deal he does, doesn’t always need them and when he does he’ll sometimes just take whoever’s around but if he’s got the option i think Gavin would definitely choose based on the kind of job it is and the kind of role he will be playing.  

Jeremy usually comes along when Gavin is playing a role, one-off meetings without the stigma of Ramsey’s untouchable front-man to carry him through. The ones where he needs backup who is as apt at blending in as they are handling a fight. As Gavin’s image adapts so must Jeremy’s; he plays disgruntled assistant for a celebrity, the long-suffering bodyguard for the kid of someone rich and powerful, the equally naive friend of the trust-fund baby getting his kicks playing with danger and the co-conspirator for the backstabbing snake betraying his crew. With Jeremy Gavin plays up the drama, skews sweet or naive or viciously selfish and sells the character wholeheartedly. Jeremy gets just as theatrical, cracks knuckles, makes ridiculous threats, and embodies the most caricaturish versions of every role. The two of them have way too much fun with it; planning out their stories and considering every tiny, unimportant detail of their fake lives, challenging each other to pull off unnecessarily outlandish stories. 

Michael mostly comes along for meetings with other crews who’ve aligned themselves with the FAHC, particularly those who like to push the line, try to overstep their place and renegotiate their terms. When Michael comes along he doesn’t hang in the background, doesn’t take up a position as a watchful statue. Standing at Gavin’s side he heckles the other party, calls them out on their shit and mocks their embarrassing attempts to push Gavin around. With Michael Gavin tends to showboat, plays with his food, brings out all his pretty words to make the other crew feel like fools, to have them giving up even more than they’d agreed in the first place and still leave feeling like they’d won.  When Gavin brings Michael there’s a whole other level to his negotiations that no one else would recognise, weaving in silly references and personal jokes in an ongoing effort to crack Michael’s facade of unimpressed muscle.  Gavin never tells Michael what angle he’s going in with, tries to catch him off guard, but even when Michael tips into true anger at the other crew he’s always more cautious than he appears, careful to never trip into one of Gavin’s spiels, undo calculated webs of words in a moment of temper. They’ve been working together for so long at this point that it’s almost a dance; Michael’s gritty rage only emphasising Gavin’s calm eloquence, reminding the other crews why Gavin’s the one they deal with, why stirring up enough trouble to have him calling in the cavalry and leaving them to the dogs is a very bad idea indeed. 

Ryan tends to come along on the most dangerous deals, the ones where the other side needs to remember their manners, where Gavin is laying out how things are going to go and nothing is sugar-coated, nothing is negotiable. Bringing Ryan is like holding the chain on a rabid dog - not in manner, Ryan is as calm, still and distant as always, but there’s not a single person in the room who doesn’t know who he is. What he’s done. Not a single person whose heart didn’t start to race the moment he arrived, and to have that kind of power at your beck and call? To command it and keep it in check? That says things about a person, and Gavin knows it. Has him playing fast and loose with quiet menace, with sharp grins and calculated carelessness, dripping just enough violent promise to remind the room exactly who they are messing with. When Gavin brings Ryan they are royalty, are the dark side of the king, they are the Golden Boy and the Vagabond; cold, professional and entirely too aware of their own terrifying reputations. 

I pray that you don’t realise what a huge mistake you’ve made and come back to me because you’re not good for me, your toxic and I know that. Well, my brain does at least, my heart is still trying to accept it.

I know if I let you in again you would ruin me, just like you did last time and I honestly don’t know if I could go through all the pain and hurt you caused me again and end up okay because it’s been months and I’m still recovering from what you done to me and I still cry about you sometimes but day by day I’m getting stronger, it’s taken me a long time to accept that you didn’t really love me, you just didn’t want to be alone so please don’t try to come back into my life when we both know that you’ll just leave again when someone better comes along.

—  I’m terrified because if you knocked on my door I know I wouldn’t have the strength to turn you away.
"But are You Happy?"

You’ve heard this before.
We all have - in every situation, in every circumstance, in every moment… “but are you happy?”

That is a very dangerous question, my friend.
Because sometimes we aren’t happy.
Sometimes life is hard.
Sometimes we get ignored.
Sometimes our situations suck.
Sometimes the chemicals in our brains betray us.
Sometimes things just don’t go our way.
Sometimes we just can’t find something to be happy about.

Sometimes, even when everything is going right, happiness just isn’t in our reach.

Because happiness relies on circumstances, chemicals, situations, people… happiness depends on things that should not be depended on.

“But are you joyful?” might fit the bill a little better.

Joy does not rely on circumstances. It does not rely on situations and people and the way things are going in our lives.
Joy does not require good happenings and luck that always prevails.
Joy only needs a spirit and a soul.

Happiness comes from the world, joy comes from the Lord.
Like faith, it is rooted deep in our fickle little hearts.

When everything is going wrong, happiness hides. Joy stays steadfast, reaching arms out for comfort and strength.
Because happiness requires us to depend on us - joyfulness requires us to depend on God.

Remain joyful in your endeavors, my friend. Things are hard and life is difficult and people are mean… but God is good and He gives you the strength you need.
Trust that He will provide you with what you need (and what you seek) and cling to that trust. Tuck your joy deep inside of you, and allow it to stay and take root.
Nurture it. Care for it. Never let it stop growing. Never let yourself lose sight of it.
Keep it with you.
You’ll need it in the hard times.

2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
James 1:2-3

Go forth, my friend. Keep that joy alive.

-31Women (Ansley)

  • Aries: "I awoke, only to find out that the rest of the world is asleep" -Leonardo da Vinci
  • Taurus: "You need to learn how to stand up for yourself and what you believe, and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass" -Queen Elizabeth II
  • Gemini: "I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose" -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
  • Cancer: "Only do what your heart tells you" -Princess Diana
  • Leo: "I just do art because I’m ugly and there’s nothing else for me to do" -Andy Warhol
  • Virgo: "Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos" -Mary Shelley
  • Libra: "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying" -Oscar Wilde
  • Scorpio: "Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas" -Marie Curie
  • Sagittarius: "When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable" -Walt Disney
  • Capricorn: "But he that dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose" -Anne Brontë
  • Aquarius: "It is impossible to love and to be wise" -Francis Bacon
  • Pisces: "We do have a distorted view of our fantasies in society, but that's because we don't talk about them enough" -Sasha Grey

The brain is an interesting thing. As someone with borderline personality disorder and major depressive disorder, I find it an interesting phenomenon that the same brain that keeps me sad, makes me feel terrible, suddenly burdens me with intrusive thoughts, makes me suicidal, is the same brain thats also trying to save me. Or itself?

When I went to the hospital the second time it was because I was so disregulated that I WAS going to kill myself BUT instead of doing that, I called my therapist and she urged me to go to the ER. Why did I go? I wanted to save my life, but some other part of my brain wanted me to end my life. And thats a paradox Ill never understand. Its the same organ. How does it do that at the same time???

Sometimes I think brains are their own entity. Like we think were people, or animals, or invertebrates, but really, the body of each one, (any organism with a brain) is just a vessel *for* the brain. And our bodies are just an extension of that, to make it able to do things. Sometimes I think about it like were jellyfish, and our brains are the big round part on top, and our limbs are just the floaty extensions of that. Carrying out its wishes. Sending pulses of neuronal firing to raise a hand, or speak a language it learned.

But it doesnt work that way exactly. People with mental illnesses have actual biological changes in their brains. In *our* brains, I should say. Those of us with mental illnesses and personality disorders. There are neurochemical imbalances that can form genetically, or by stress induced factors. You know, people tell you that your childhood has a lot to do with how you turn out and what kinda shit youll end up with. And theyll say its because of bad memories. But thats not the whole story.

When youre a child, your brain is still developing, and if youre neglected, or abused, or constantly invalidated by your parents or whomever… every bad thing (and good thing btw) has an effect on how a childs brain grows. What neurochemicals it produces and how much. Its an actual physiological change. And when you stop growing, youre left with what youre left with. For example, if you grew up in a household where there was a lot of fighting, your amydala will fire more than the average person youre going to have an anxiety issue. Medication and therapy are all you can do to stop it.

But still. Its your brain thats imbalanced and disregulated, and its your brain that fucks itself up but also tries to fix itself with meds and therapy. And how its able to do both is a fascinating mystery to me.

Shakespeare? A Friend of Mine

The most gratuitous thing I’ve written in a while. Done a couple of nights ago to stretch my brain after a bad day. Self-indulgent self-insert thing. That anon inspired me to actually put this up. Under a read more because I’m not confident :p Basically, sometimes I write too much. Some days are just like this.

Keep reading

I know I’m mostly a peggysous girl, but I’m gaining momentum with the Jack stuff?  Here’s five fics wholly or partially narrated by Jack Thompson.

Chiefs and Scoundrels

We never really know how Daniel got his promotion.  As his commanding officer, Jack must have had something to do with it.  (Was a one shot… somehow ended up with three chapters)

Writing letters to ghosts

This JackDaniels fic alternates POV with Daniel.  This is set in a (darkish) universe without an SSR and the boys have to figure out how to move on with out it.  It’s not as depressing as it sounds, there’s bebop!  

Play your game

Jack x Dottie Underwood crack!smut.  Because my brain does stuff without checking in with me.

To arms

Sometimes I write flash fic, in this case a wartime prequel.  Jack packs for boot camp. 

Five times Agent Carter soulgazes didn’t change anything… and one they did

Jack is just one narrator here in a universe where Dresden Files soulgazes are thing, but he seems to be everyone’s favorite??

The Dead Spies Tell no Lies Series

Jack Thompson is Dead*

20 Chapters and almost 36K, this casefic explores what happens to Jack after his shooting.  Also not as depressing as it sounds! Someone who doesn’t like OC fics told me they loved the OCs, so there.  This is my opus and everything Jack didn’t get to work out in the show.

Dead men don’t wassail

The holiday follow up to Dead* and hopefully the bridge to the sequel?

Stimming is any repetitive movement or sound that stimulates your brain.

Before you ask us whether a behavior is stimming, ask yourself

  • Is this behavior repetitive?
  • Does this behavior stimulate my brain?

If the answer to both of those questions is yes, then the behavior is a stim.

I’ll also just add that stims are not always good. People sometimes stim by injuring themselves or doing something that bothers other people. With some practice, they can build a new stim that doesn’t injure them or bother other people. Our stimming tag is full of stimming ideas!


I get stressed and anxious over such stupid things. Sometimes, when I’m reading a long Tumblr post, my brain starts going, “You are taking too long to read this. You haven’t reblogged anything in a while. When you reblog this, everyone will judge you and think you’re stupid because they’ll know it took you a long time to read this post.”

I don’t think anyone has actually ever judged me for not reloging a long post quickly enough. I think I’ve got an about average reading speed. However, even writing this, my brain is already going, “Well now you’ve drawn attention to it, all your followers will start noticing how long it takes you to reblog things. Everyone thinks you’re stupid.”

SHUT UP BRAIN! Nobody’s judging me and nobody cares how long it takes me to read something!

floraltantrums  asked:

I read your tags on the chronic illness post and I'm just saying you deserve cute ppl who will bring you chocolate when you're half alive

Ahahaha thank you! Occasionally these cute, rare people do exist in my life since dating me really does come with an addendum that says, “look, sometimes I’m 70% dead and you just need to feed me, tell me I’m pretty, and then let me sleep for 20 hours because my brain is trying to kill me.” But lbr, most of the time I’m just making fingerguns at my nurses until they give me a granola bar or something.

Just a man (hamburr)

People are not hurricanes, they are not destructive powers and Burr knows it, but sometimes he looks at him and has to remind himself that even if Alexander walks around and talks to everyone like he is unstoppable, he still is just a man.

Sometimes Alexander stops for a second and it’s possible to see how his brain finally slows down, his running heart slows down and Aaron rests his head against his chest and listens to the beating and they are quiet, even Alexander is quiet for a moment. Sometimes he does that, Alexander, he slows down for a short second before his brains catch up and he remembers how short his life actually is, and Aaron gets up and isn’t Aaron anymore, and Alexander says goodnight Burr before he leaves and Burr is just a man and he can’t keep Alexander steady long enough.

They are not in love.

They could have been, maybe, in another life, but in this one they are just men, just friends until they weren’t even that, because times change even if people don’t and -

the point is that they had a chance and they never took it, so now the only thing they have is this painful knowledge of something they lost.

The war ripped apart many families, many lives, but it was the aftermath that ruined them and sometimes Burr is so angry he can only hate Hamilton and maybe they both are just full of hate and regret and it all gets mixed up with hard breathing and bodies crashing together because after all they are just men who feel so much it’s easier not to feel anything.

When it all ends Burr doesn’t expect it to hurt as much as it does.

Alexander has always been beautiful the way ocean or thunder storms are beautiful, dangerous and impossible, but when he falls to the ground Burr suddenly remembers that he’s just a man.

And men die.