my bounty lady

reasons to read the Jedi Apprentice series

*O-baby-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn’S amazing jedi space adventures?? Is that not enough reason OK

*Obi-Wan is young and reckless and going way too far and has a passionate sense of justice only equaled by his desire for people to just have better manners darn it 

*Qui-Gon is literally the most stubborn human in the galaxy and he gets called out on it ALL THE TIME

*Ladies?? An awesome new female character around every corner. Miners, healers, politicians, mad scientists, serene jedi masters, caustic jedi padawans, gentle jedi initiates, cooks, revolutionaries, mechanics, bounty hunters. 

*Obi-Wan has a new little friend on every planet. “I don’t know how to people,” he grumbles as he makes a new friend for life. “Why can’t I be at ease in every situation like Qui-Gon is?” He bemoans, trailing disreputable new bosom bros behind him like a train.

*“The Council likes to be presented with freshly overturned governments more than revolutions in progress,” Qui-Gon blithely assures his dubious apprentice.

*no but really tho they never met an oppressive government they didn’t try to topple

*all the Jedi world building? If you gave ever wondered a thing about old Republic jedi, Jude Watson probably wondered too and wrote an answer

*They are basically printed novel size gen fanfics, so many tropes, so much peril and angst and teamwork and partners being concerned for each other

*made for kids, so the writing is not bad but it’s quite simple you can tear through one of these babies in like an hour or less

*“Not so! I lie!”

*Qui-Gon Jinn holding babies and making faces at small children

*Obi-Wan Kenobi the industrial-sized salt dispenser 

*Seriously just read them if you love Obi-Wan you should have read them already if you love Qui-Gon then these books and Liam Neeson are probably why

Jennifer and Kwong Nam’s Guide to Femininity and Seduction

  1. Be at least an hour late. It’s a girl’s prerogative to be late. That makes him anticipate and want you even more. Even if you happen to arrive early, go for a walk. Don’t show up yet.

  2. Shoot from a high angle. This gives you a V-shape face and you’ll look thinner. At the same time, it allows you to be closer with him. If you have a potential love rival, post the picture online right away to declare your sovereignty.

  3. Be indecisive but persistent. You can let him make all the decisions but you can also ban them any time. Don’t let him know what you’re thinking. He’ll then follow your will.

  4. The most important point is to always fake ignorance and laugh. Lovers have practically nothing to talk about because they don’t do much aside from going to work. But no matter how silly the subject, you can’t allow room for any “dead air”. Use the phrases “Really?”, “Why?”, and “You’re so smart” wisely as part of your conversation and you can talk to him all night. You must also laugh no matter what. Even if what he’s saying isn’t interesting, you still need to pretend like it is. Then he’ll naturally think you’re his dream lover.

  5. For a bonus tip, don’t use foul language as part of your everyday dialogue. When you want to use foul language, replace it with “Are you silly?” or “You’re so silly” from now on. It means the same thing but sounds more refined for a lady.

Kwong Nam’s Philosophy on Confidence

Finding Yuen Huen alone on her birthday and learning more about her insecurities and lack of confidence, Kwong Nam marked her as his next target. Even after her promotion, Yuen Huen still maintained a timid personality and was easily bullied by her co-workers into doing their work. Kwong Nam observed this and decided to coach her.

Kwong Nam: 99% of the people in this world aren’t charismatic. You need to build up your charisma.

Yuen Huen: Too bad people think I’m invisible.

Kwong Nam: You weren’t born invisible. Others don’t see you because you don’t see yourself.

Yuen Huen: How can I make them see me?

Kwong Nam: The most powerful thing in human relationships is the power to say “no” and not allowing people to guess what’s really on your mind.

Fast forward a few minutes after Kwong Nam finished his demonstration of how to show off confidence on the roof top, Kwong Nam and Yuen Huen watched a recording of her training and she laughs…

Kwong Nam: You’re still laughing? You did very well. See? It doesn’t matter if you don’t look good. What matters is the confidence.

Yuen Huen: It’s really funny.

Kwong Nam: Did you know laughing is a form of camouflage? You laugh to hide your true feelings.