my body positive

Btw,

If you feel cute in it wear it
If you feel pretty in it wear it
If you feel hot in it wear it
If you feel cool in it wear it
If you feel sexy in it wear it
If you feel beautiful in it wear it
If you feel handsome in it wear it
If you feel comfortable in it wear it
If you feel uncomfortable in it dont wear it

no offence but let yourself be ugly!! you don’t have to fix your hair if you’re not going anywhere you don’t have to cover up ur spots or change out of your lounge pants to go buy milk like damn we really gotta let ourselves be comfortable without constantly apologising for just looking normal and it’s hard but i think we need to practice looking in the mirror and saying i look ugly af today and that’s okay!! tru self care is letting urself be ugly tbh

I’m not even going to address anon directly, because seriously, fuck that guy. 

For the rest of you who may be wondering how I POSSIBLY manage living as a fat person, let me explain how I do it: 

I do it by making time for fun things as often as possible. Like riding carousels while morbidly obese. I  have the gall to do this in front of children. 

I do it by making sure my skin is always moisturized and cleansed. I know it’s shocking, but my glowing, fat face feels great after a seaweed-based exfoliant mask. 

I do it by finding time for my interests and hobbies. I’m an amateur mycologist. You may think it’s frightening for a fat forager to find fungi, but I think it’s fantastic.    

I do it by surrounding myself with wholesome, non-judgmental people. A fat person with friends and family?!? It’s more likely than you think. 

I do it by wearing bright colors and taking any opportunity for a photo shoot. Surprisingly, my fatness hasn’t broken a camera yet. 

I do it by singing loudly and flamboyantly. Much as you’ve been told fat people spend 99% of our time gasping for air, I actually have pretty solid breath control. 

I do it by pursuing my education. Don’t worry, they let me skip the part of the bar exam that asks for your BMI.

I do it by having an adorable, supportive partner. We even make out with the lights ON most of the time! 

I do it by creating safe spaces in my home. I love decorating for holidays and dinner parties. The tinsel really compliments my back rolls! 

I do it by adopting fluffy animal friends. Mr. Fluff here may always have a look of existential dread on his face, but he’s not once had a problem with my weight. 

I do it by spending time in nature. Trees and green spaces are very healing! Yes, even for a fatty like me. 

I do it by making this face at people who tell me that since I’m fat I can’t have all the things I already have. I have the audacity to believe that I will one day accomplish all the important goals I have set out for myself!

I’m a fat person and I have value. 
I’m a fat person and I can realize my dreams. 
I’m a fat person and I have a happy, fulfilling life. 

That’s not going to change no matter how many anons send me hateful messages. 

To all my fat family out there, you deserve a support network of caring people who don’t care about your weight. You deserve to achieve your goals. You deserve respect. You deserve happiness. 

Don’t let anyone tell you differently. 

4

It’s okay and perfectly normal to have cellulite, body hair, stretch marks, acne, etc. Your body is beautiful in its own way ✨✨

Dude loves his “curvy wife”’s body so much he not only thinks her deserves vast praise for it, as though it’s something brave, but he makes sure to keep talking about how many other people would find her unattractive.

I also love how he fully acknowledges that people are shitty to his wife, but thinks that’s a problem that should be made all about him, how hard it is on him, and how amazing he is for actually being with her. Which by the way, implying that you’re doing some kind of good deed by dating/being with someone is a huge insult to them. So is the underlying implication that she should be greatful to him because so many other men wouldn’t do it. 

Men; do better.

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “You’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are — you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say, “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

—  Sarah Koppelkam (x)

when i was 7, i hated my accent. I was the new girl in a texas school coming straight from new orleans. the kids made fun of me so I changed the way i talked to fit in.
when I was 9, my aunt lost custody of her daughter and my cousin came to live with us. she was of fair complexion, much like our mothers- with long, silky hair. when we would go out to the store people would stop us and say “my, your daughter is so beautiful, with all that pretty long hair” referring to my cousin. and i was there too. wanting to be seen. but my mother would say “that’s my niece and this is my daughter"… the looks on their face would change. I began to hate my skin at 10. My body was changing and so was my outlook on self esteem. when I was 12, I hated my body. I was fat. Every morning I stood in the mirror, I would shove 3 fingers down my throat, in hopes of cleansing my stomach of all fat. I went days without eating… just drinking water and throwing up. when i was 13, I was avidly playing sports. basketball, volleyball, tennis, softball… anything in hopes of losing weight. i made it to be 150lbs and still thought i was fat. when i was 14, I lost my virginity in the most unconventional way ever. i thought that sharing the most precious part of me was somehow tied to the attraction of others… and if they’d like me enough to want to have sex with me. I focused so much on maintaining external beauty that i was failing my inner self. by 17, I had contemplated suicide more than twice. I looked in the mirror and hated what I saw. The mirror became my enemy. at 20 years old, I entered a terribly toxic relationship. i felt that he was all I had, and if he left me… who would want me? I stayed through a lot of emotional abuse. through all of this, the number on the scale has constantly fluctuated. at 22, I am able to say that I’ve conquered myself. I’ve been through a lot and the journey of self love has been the most perilous. Every day, there is something new. A new fad, a new beauty standard- a new way to make yourself appear slimmer, a new tea, a new diet… whatever. none of those things will work if you don’t find and appreciate your own inner beauty. love yourself first. love yourself always. the number on the scale will change but you must continue to love yourself. lead a healthy lifestyle. take care of your body both physically and mentally. drink water. see a doctor. see a therapist. don’t deal with things on your own. someone will listen and someone will help.
don’t give up on yourself.
you are your greatest feat.

-B♥️
08.09.2017