my body and soul will not be ready for this shit

anonymous asked:

How do you feel about reading bad books for mockery purposes, in the same way that people watch bad movies to make fun of them with friends? I had the idle thought the other day "I'd love to see Doc tear into Ready Player One, or Modelland with a fury", but also that might not be a good/fun use of your time.

Oh god, I read Ready Player One, anon, and my soul physically left my body, that book is sad gamer boy made fucking flesh my god. It’s not even clever, and the concept is so good that it’s a fucking tragedy. 

I don’t generally INTENTIONALLY hate read, but I rarely rarely abandon a book once I’m in (Wizard and Glass, or I call it: Roland Has a Lot of Man Feelings and also Why The Fuck is Someone Named Susan Fucking Delgado In A Land Clearly Meant to Stand For the American West Not Hispanic–The Novel, really tested this) so I end up hate reading a lot of shit. 

I WILL hate read if it has stylistic or cultural merit–I think Ulysses is garbage but I also think it’s important and interesting. For example. Lots of stuff I’ve read for those reasons, but “I hate this shit” is different from “this shit is objectively bad” to me. 

Some of these will not apply to many people so pls take them with a grain of salt. Also I’ve been collecting these pretty much for the two years I’ve been in college so it’s not a guide, they’re just… random I guess.

Making friends 

Warning - specially tailored for super shy people aka me

  • There’s a thing called the ‘first week window of endless oportunities’. It’s when groups are still forming and everyone’s desperate to make friends. This is the time to put your best self forward (I’m not saying be fake, just a little extra friendly).
  • Leave. Your. Door. Open. Do it. Even if you have a roommate. Best way to make friends the first week.
  • Actually get out of your room. You’re not going to meet many people if you hole up in your room. If you have a tv room or people are watching a movie, I don’t care if you’re not interested in what they’re watching, go.
  • If you have the balls to go to the room nextdoor and introduce yourself then you probably can skip this section by all means do it!
  • But if you don’t, going from door to door asking for help with your laundry takes a lot less courage + you will learn how to do laundry. Asking to borrow something (pencil, hair tie, hair dryer) also works.
  • If you’re staying at a residence hall, ask to sit with people at lunch! Nobody is going to say no, i promise.
  • Similarly if you see someone alone, ask them to have lunch with you! 
  • Also if you meet someone you get along with, as soon as you can, ask for their number ‘so you can go to the dinning hall together’. 
  • Remember people’s names - it makes people feel like you actually care about them. I know it’s hard but make an effort. Also it just gets annoying when someone asks about your name for the fourth time. Use mnemonics if you have to.
  • Asking what someone’s major is and where they’re from is standard procedure when you meet them but it doesn’t make for an interesting conversation. Think of other questions!
  • Make sure to arrive about 10 min early to your classes. There’ll be very few people and so it’ll be easier to strike up a conversation (actually people will probably talk to you without you having to say anything which is g r e a t)
  • Say yes - as a rule of thumb, your social life should prevail over your academic life the first two weeks. This is the time where you’re not really pressed for time. Say yes to watching movies, say yes to going to lunch, say yes to going to campus events (and even to parties). Obviously don’t do anything that makes you really unconfortable but do try to step out of your comfort zone
  • Make friends with an upper-classman from your same major. Or at least be on speaking terms. Talk to them on Facebook, ask them about your major, just use any random idc excuse to introduce yourself, it doesn’t really matter how you do it.
  • Don’t go home every weekend, even if you live close by. You’ll miss out on the best of campus life and some of the most fun memories with your new friends.

Keeping your old friends

  • If you know you’re going home for the weekend, try to finish most of your assignments/studying and make time to hang out with your friends. Spending time with them is the best way to keep those friendships alive. 
  • But! Don’t worry too much if you can’t come home or make time for your friends too often, you just have to make an effort to text them regularly. It will come naturally if it’s your best friend, but don’t forget to set a reminder to text other close friends at least once every two weeks.
  • You may think you don’t care now but you will once you come home for the summer.
  • If any of your friends are staying in your hometown for college, be ready for them to get another friend group. That doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, but don’t be mad if they seem to have a lot more plans that don’t involve you. You can always ask to tag along some time and maybe even become friends with these people!
  • Some people you’ll just lose contact with. Don’t fret it.

Organization

  • Please print out or buy a calendar that has a whole page for each month. With boxes preferably *shameless plug*. You may think you have it all under control but there’s nothing like being able to see all your due dates, hang out plans and laundry days at a glance. (Also js but the pilot frixion are perfect to use on calendars because they’re erasable).
  • There’s so much space under your bed. UTILIZE IT.

Keep reading

darling, I know you’ve been feeling down lately, so I wrote this really quick for you. I’m not sure what you had in mind, but I went to a 100 % unicorns place, so I hope this makes you smile a little.


A shadow falls across Stiles’ worksheet and he looks up to see Lydia, mouth pursed, staring down at him. She says, “What do you know about unicorns?”

“About as much as the average eleven year old boy,” he says, which is: not much. Horse-like, pointy horn, something to do with virgins.

Of course, he goes home and finds out everything he can about them immediately. Both because Lydia asked, and because now he can’t stop thinking about it.

Lydia has forgotten all about their conversation by the time he’s ready to dazzle her with his knowledge, so alas, his mad unicorn skillz lie dormant for years, until all the shit with the werewolves.

*

Stiles is cat-napping in a spill of sun when all his warmth is blocked—he makes an irritated sound and opens his eyes to find Derek looming over him, frowning.  Stiles kicks out a foot and rolls over onto his side in the grass.

Derek says, “What do you know about unicorns?”

Stiles yawns and says, “A surprising amount for a teenage boy.”

Keep reading

Suga Daddy: Part Five

Suga Daddy: Part Five

Word count: 6.8k

Genre: smut, angst

Alright, I hope you enjoy this. Sorry to all the people whose souls i’ve shattered. (not really) Let me know how you enjoy it if you want :)  

parts: one | twothreefour

“What the hell is going on?”

You and Taehyung pulled apart quickly, both looking at the figure, staring at you with a hard gaze and a clenched jaw. You gasped, “Yoongi.”

Keep reading

Why Teens Shouldn’t Run Revolutions

Hi guys. I’m going to piss off a lot of YA writers (and possibly readers) today, so hang onto your hats.

Mainly, if you’re in love with the idea of a high schooler with no strategic or combat experience heading up a revolution or war because they’re “so dedicated and determined,” don’t read this. Please, don’t. You’re not going to see anything you like. Go ahead and keep enjoying your guilty pleasure – that’s fine. I’m not going to own up to some of the guilty pleasures I love in fiction but don’t buy for a second in real life. That’s chill. Go for it, man.

But there are just things that I – and readers like me – are tired of seeing. If you’re sick of that trope, then keep reading. If you’re open to the idea of ditching that trope in your writing, then I really recommend reading.

This assessment/collection of tips on why teens shouldn’t run revolutions - and if you’re going to make them, how they CAN do it well - will include comparisons to history, other fiction (Unplugged), and Black Butler. Plus swearing and a range of incorrect capitalizations, because it’s fun.

On we go:

Keep reading

Just Right

MASTERLIST

Requested. No. I just really wanted to do something fluffy about Shawn admitting his feelings for you. Kinda sucks but who cares 

Word count: 2,016

She was so insanely beautiful. The kind of beautiful people write songs about, the kind of beautiful I want to write songs about.

Even when sleeping deeply with her messy hair in a bun. Even with her mascara smashed out under eyes. Even when she laid here in my lap and those cute, little snoring noises slipped out of her unflawed rosy lips.

Keep reading

140503 at dawn (m)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Fluff, smutty smut smut

Summary: Yoongi is always early in his studio and well, he wakes you one morning. Simple, right? Nah, that’s where you’re wrong.

Wordcount: 2.5k 


Your eyes jolt open, stung by the sun ray aurora spilling over you half dressed self. Turning over to your right, you hope to find your angelic boyfriend beside, only to have his spot froze; cool from the slight breeze from the cracked window.

Keep reading

911 / mr. lonely - peter parker x reader

fandom: the avengers/peter parker

word count: 1335

character pairing: tom holland’s peter parker x reader

warnings: none ion think

prompt: Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out? (taken from this prompt list)

notes: i watched spider-man yesterday and i busted a fat nut bc it was everything i expected and more. the fucking rubble scene fucked me up so bad omg. tom holland has been, is and always WILL be my unproblematic fave. anyways enjoy i’ve been gone for like a week. (again, gif isn’t mine. idk whose it is. props 2 them n stuff. u guys rock) UHHHHH ALSO i wrote these all in microsoft word instead of wattpad (lmao) so everything is capitalized now???? weird. 

Hey dude I read that cuddling helps you sleep better, you wanna try it out?

-

Sleep has never been a close friend of yours.

You often lay awake at night, staring at your ceiling until sun shone through your windows, and you were forced to get out of bed and start your day. Of course, the rest of the team wasn’t aware of your sleeping habits, until one day, you collapsed during training before even getting hit.

“I’m worried about you, kid,” Tony explained, sliding you a cup of coffee. “you might be a superhero, but you need sleep just as much as the rest of the world.” You raised an eyebrow as you took a sip of the bitter drink.

“I could say the same to you,” you drawled, placing your mug on it’s coaster. “I’m not sure what exactly it is you expect me to do, Tony. Try sleeping? Trust me, I’ve tried. I just… can’t.”

“Maybe you need a cuddle buddy,” Tony joked, placing his cup in the sink and leaning against the counter. “if you’re ever down for a bit of a cuddle, you know where to find me.”

“No thanks, old man,” you grinned at his glare. “I think what I need is a drug to knock me out for 8 hours.” Due to your enhancement, there was no over-the-counter drug that could bring you the sleep you desperately needed.

Tony snorted. “A horse tranquilizer, you mean?” you felt a lot better after flipping the bird to his back.

That night, you were preparing for another sleepless 8 hours when a knock on the door made you get out of bed earlier than you expected.

“Peter?” the last person you expected at your door was Peter Parker, yet there he was, standing in his pyjamas with a pillow in his hands. “What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

He nodded quickly, and you caught the way his fingers tapped against his thighs nervously. “Yeah, yeah, everything’s cool,” he said easily. “Um, Mr. Stark mentioned that you’ve been having trouble sleeping?”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “He did?” Peter only nodded in response. “Well, I hope you’re here with a couple of lines of ketamine, because that’s probably my only cure at this point.” You laughed when Peter’s eyes widened. “I’m kidding. Relax. Come in.” He walked in, allowing you to close the door behind him. You walked ahead of him, taking a seat at the edge of your bed. “So what’s up?”

Peter cleared his throat, and took a seat next to you, holding his pillow to his chest. “Well, I read that cuddling helps you sleep better. Wanna try it out?” Your jaw dropped, and Peter began to panic. “W-Well- Uh, I only meant- Like, you know what? I’m just gonna-.”

“Wait!” you grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving, pulling him back. “wait, uh. I think that might work, actually.” Truthfully, you had no faith in this plan and wherever Peter read this, was probably not a reliable source. But Peter was hot and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t have the slightest of crushes on him.

Peter looked hopeful. “Really?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged and took his pillow from him. “wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Peter’s heart was racing as he nodded, watching you place his pillow next to yours and climb into bed. “You coming?”

“H-Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, of course,” he said, walking over to the opposite side of the bed and climbing under the covers. He turned onto his side to face you, raising an eyebrow at your stiff figure. “Is this your first time cuddling someone?” You nodded bashfully, and he grinned. “Well, come closer, first of all.”

You shuffled closer to him, swallowing thickly. “Like this?”

He covered up his laughter with a cough, reaching over to take your hand. “Is this okay?” he asked, looping an arm over your waist and tugging your body closer to his, chests pressed together. He waited for you to nod and curl your hands up on his chest before continuing. “Relax,” he said, one of his hands coming up to brush the wisps of hair away from your face. “you know I’m not gonna hurt you.”

That wasn’t your issue. You knew Peter would never hurt you; he was too gentle of a soul for that. But you weren’t kidding when you told Peter this was your first time cuddling. You didn’t know how to do this- what if you messed up? Could you mess up? You weren’t sure how these things worked.

“I know,” you said quietly, feeling yourself relax against Peter’s body. “this is just-,”

“New?” He guessed. You nodded. “Don’t worry. Cuddling comes naturally. You’ll get it.”

And eventually, you did. You weren’t sure how long the two of you were lying there, just talking, but eventually, you’d stopped, feeling yourself become less and less cognitive and sleepier. This was a new sensation to you, seeing as you were actually ready to fall asleep before 7:00am. You remember pushing your face into the crook where Peter’s shoulder and neck met, letting out a content sigh. That’s how you fell asleep, you think, with Peter’s hand splayed across your back, breathing quietly into your hair.

So of course, you woke up half on top of him, one of your legs slotted between his. Peter had an arm around your waist, holding you steady atop of him. One of your arms was crossed over his chest, your thumb pressed to his cheek. This was the most peaceful state you’d been in, in a long time.

“Holy shit, he did it!”

Peter cracked open a bleary eye to see four of the earth’s mightiest heroes peaking their head through your bedroom door, which was hardly cracked open. His eyes shot open once he realized the position the two of you were in, glancing down at your sleeping body then back up at Tony, who had his eyes narrowed and teeth gritted.

“Fuck, he’s awake.”

“Hands to yourself, Parker.”

Sorry, Mr. Stark! Peter mouthed as you somehow managed to move closer onto Peter, nose brushing his neck. He remained helpless as you breathed slowly, obviously still asleep- so he thought.

“Are you guys seriously spying on them?” Peter could detect Steve’s voice and silently thanked the heavens for his sudden appearance. “Come on, let the kids sleep. They deserve it.” As Steve escorted everyone away, and re-closed the bedroom door, Peter relaxed, squeezing you lightly and resting his cheek on top of your head. He knew there was no way he was going to get back to sleep, but he was willing to lay there and hold you until you woke up, if that’s what you needed.

“Are they gone?” you hummed, your voice still scratchy from sleep. You stretched, arching your back as you yawned. “God, that was an invasion of privacy. Sorry for this, by the way. I’m kinda all over you.”

“I don’t- I don’t mind,” Peter stuttered, suddenly very aware of all the ways your body pressed against his. “Really. I’m glad you found a way to sleep.”

You propped yourself up on your elbow, staring down at Peter with a sort of fondness you couldn’t identify. He looked really good, for someone who just woke up. His hair was a fluffy mess that stuck up instead of combed to the side, and you couldn’t deny that he suited it. And you never really cared for brown eyes until you saw them on Peter’s face.

“Thanks, Parker,” you said, leaning down to press your lips to his cheek. “I appreciate it.” You rolled out of bed, and you could feel Peter’s eyes on you as you stretched. Holding back your laughter, you made your way to your washroom. “I’ll see you around.”

“Y-Yeah, no problem! Anytime,” he stuttered, watching the bathroom door close behind you. He touched his hand to his cheek, and grinned. “anytime.”

Hatred (Wonho X Reader)

Admin: Candi
Request: “Hello! could i request a smut where you and wonho hate each other? – anon”
Fandom: Monsta X
Member/reader: Wonho x Reader
Genre/warning(s):  smut, humiliation, strong language, dom!Wonho (VERY DOM), choking, scratching, blood, ok let’s just say extremely hardcore sex so it’ll be easier??? (trigger warning) 
Words: 4k (not even sorry)
Authors note: Just a heads up, this is really rough. I’m hella proud of this and I hope you enjoy this. I adore writing Wonho smut BUT I ALSO WANNA WRITE FLUFF BECAUSE HE DESERVES ALL THE LOVE. But yes, this is hella intense so like just a warning so you won’t die? Or get offended. Basically rough sex, nowhere near vanilla so if that’s what you’re expecting this is exactly NOT it. I’m not even sorry at how dirty this is.

Keep reading

Skinny Love | Jungkook | PT. 1

Originally posted by sugutie

Summary: You and Jungkook have been friends for a long time, probably so long that you can even consider one another best friends. You can spot each other in any crowd just by the bond you share, and you communicate sometimes in your own language. But you weren’t content with being ‘just friends’. You wanted more, but what itched at you was the question of if he felt the same.

Potential Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Female)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Future Smut, Mature Content—cursing, drinking and obviously sex. College!AU

There will be four(?) parts to this. Enjoy part one and please don’t forget to vote and give me feedback. 

-Tee

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04


S A T U R D A Y

You can recall the many times you had the opportunity to tell Jungkook how you felt. There was the time during the twelfth grade trip when you both were sitting next to one another on the bus ride home, he made a blanket for you with his sweater and told you to lean on his shoulder as he attempted to sing you to sleep. He looked like an angel that night, you were both close to the point where you could have whispered to him that you liked him and kissed him.

There was that time when you carried him home when he got wasted for the first time, which he never did again, and he was so out of it you could have confessed to him without actually confessing. He was so drunk that he wouldn’t even remember it the next day, it would save you the embarrassment but the sadness would still be hanging over you.

The memories of all the times he had asked you who you liked came back to you. You really could have pointed to him, looked him in the eye and said, “you. I like you Jungkook.” But life isn’t always like they say in the movies to make things speed up, things like this took time, even four years or so worth of it.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Loving the text messages!! Keep up the good work! Also if you don't mind could you describe darks and antis personalities according to you?

Absolutely!!! Beware though, I’m about to wax poetic because I LOVE these two characters. I’m sorry that this post is so long but I’m NOT putting it under a cut because I worked on this for over a fucking hour instead of writing my history paper and I want at least one person to actually read it. :P

I’m gonna go a little in depth with what I believe is their canon personalities according to my interpretation and then how I incorporate those interpretations into Texts From Dark And Anti. Some of you may be surprised to find that I actually heavily take their canonical personalities into account when I make my edits; it’s not all just dick jokes and memes for the sake of notes. Texts From Dark And Anti is my love letter to these two characters, and I’ve gone to great lengths to portray them in the best way possible.

But enough babbling. Let’s start with Dark.

CANON PERSONALITY: Master Manipulator and Sexual Predator

Originally posted by markimemey

Per Mark, Dark is a master manipulator. He’s a snake in the grass, ready to tell you anything and everything you need to hear in order to get what he wants from you.

I’d argue that this often works for him. Obviously he’s a very good actor if he’s able to mimic Mark perfectly in the “Chocolate” ending, so that makes me think that he’s able to assume whatever personality and/or extend whatever favors he needs to to trick his victims into abiding by him.

But it’s also worth mentioning that Dark’s biggest weakness (arguably) is his jealousy. As Mark said, Dark’s extremely jealous of Mark, and he wants everything that Mark has: wealth, fame, success, and devoted fans. I’d be willing to believe that that last thing is what rubs Dark wrong the most.

Evidence? Mark’s fans are exactly what he goes after. Wanna know what’s freakier? IT FUCKING WORKED.

Mark took all of his fans out on a date. All of us adored him for it. Dark got jealous of this, so he infiltrated the date and tried to get us to support him instead. And when Tyler Mark showed up to fight him, Dark didn’t kill him himself. He manipulated us into doing it for him.

And what brings this home is that Dark has had the longest lasting potential out of anything to come out of this video. All of the other memes and references have lost their luster by now, but the resurgence of Dark-related fan art, ask/rp blogs, edits, and memes are still going strong. Dark infiltrated our date and convinced us to love him and worship him the same way that we do Mark, and we fucking fell for it.

So why does he do this? Is it just because he’s a jealous prick? Partially, but I think that, canonically, there’s more to it. I think it’s because he thrives on his ability to hold power over people, which is comparable to–get ready for it–sexual predators.

Dark exhibits a lot of the traits we normally attribute to these criminals. He’s attractive, charismatic, extremely manipulative, and sadistic. He says things like, “I can give you anything,” and, “If it’s dinner you want, I can provide.” Provide is an interesting word choice here, because that’s what society has dictated the man in a relationship should do. He even acts seductive: arching his neck, eye-fucking the camera, and he even blows us a kiss (see below). But the way that he grabs and shakes us periodically throughout his mental breakdown betrays his inner sadism and anger issues, also common among sexual predators. I absolutely think that based on Dark’s behavior and what we know about him, he’s totally down to fuck anyone and everyone in order to get what he wants–consensual or otherwise. And I definitely think he’ll enjoy it.

Originally posted by mirrorthehorse

I wouldn’t necessarily say that Dark is a nymphomaniac. As an otherworldly being, it’s entirely possible he doesn’t even have a sex drive. But sexual predators don’t usually rape their victims just to get their dicks wet. Usually, it’s a power issue; they want to feel like they have mastery over something, and that they are dominant and in control. Given Dark’s obsession with taking all of Mark’s glory away from him, coupled with his violent mood swings and sadism, I would say that sexual assault is probably just one of the many ways he appeases his insatiable appetite for power and manipulation. And I’d even bet that it’s one of his go-to’s.

In Texts From Dark And Anti, I normally portray Dark as a bitter old demon who doesn’t understand memes and doesn’t want to put up with anybody’s shit. But I didn’t just do this for fun; I did it because I could see Dark being jaded in real life. Off-camera, when he’s not trying to seduce us into adoring him over Mark, I could see him being sick of being overlooked. He’s old, even by Mark’s channel’s standards, and up until “A Date With Markiplier”, he wasn’t mainstream in the fandom at all–not fun for someone who craves the adoration of others. So he’d definitely be off-put by Anti’s much younger, more erratic personality, and in a bad mood he’d bitch at him for it. But in a good mood, he’d use it to his advantage to get whatever he wants–sex, souls, and anything else his blackened heart desires, both for the reward and the thrill of not having to do it himself.

Now let’s talk about Anti.

CANON PERSONALITY: Chaotic Psychopath

Originally posted by treblegirl

Jack has been near-silent on his personal interpretation of Anti (although he’s stated that he definitely has a personal canon that he refuses to share, the little fucker), so all of this is going to come from speculation and what we see onscreen.

While Dark chose to make his debut in one long, continuous, elegant appearance, Anti showed up randomly throughout the month of October, with no prelude and no explanation as to why he was there. Also in contrast to Dark’s smooth, charismatic personality, Anti is visibly unstable, jittery, and psychotic. Both he and Dark exhibit bloodlust, but Anti doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t hold back any of his sociopathic tendencies, going so far as to murder his host on camera for the world to see.

We don’t exactly know what Anti’s agenda is, but that’s just it: I don’t think he has one. At least, not one beyond the psychotic urge to kill as much and as many people as he can. Even in “Say Goodbye”, all he does is laugh at/condemn the viewer for not warning Jack and saving him. The other times he was on camera in October, he was glitchy, with several different appearances (fangs, gauges, blood, etc.) and contorted, unsettling body movements, making me think that Anti is a supernatural being that thrives on chaos and bloodshed.

But  Anti doesn’t just want to cause havoc–he wants to cause havoc and get the credit he deserves for it. That’s why he showed up so much on camera without Jack noticing; he was there for us, not him. Then he made a big deal about us not telling Jack what was going on, condemning us for our failure to make his existence well-known. Then he crashed Jack’s panel at PAX, angry at us for “forgetting” him. He’s not trying to garner our support like Dark is; if anything, he wants us to be terrified of him.

Originally posted by redthereaper07

But personally, if I had to choose between being locked in a room with Dark and being locked in a room with Anti, I’d choose Anti in a heartbeat. Because even though Anti is more obviously psychotic, at least I’d know I would be killed quickly–unlike Dark, who would torture and manipulate me verbally, physically, and possibly even sexually for an indeterminate amount of time. This is Anti’s downfall, I think; Dark disguises his true nature with seduction and charisma, but because Anti’s so unpredictable and surface-level, he identifies himself as a very obvious threat, ironically making him a little easier to understand.

Thus, my interpretation of him in Texts From Dark And Anti reflects this (albeit in a more comedic way). Anti loves memes and silly trends because he wants to stick out in a way that’ll gain recognition. He’s more up-to-date with Internet trends and slang because he’s much younger than Dark–but that also means that he’s more gullible, and a lot of simple things go over his head. Basically all of his emotions are double that of Dark’s, and he makes no efforts to disguise them. He’s also much more privvy to senseless murder than Dark. This speaks highly of his psychotic tendencies and general disregard for any order or secrets he could be bothering to keep. What you see of Anti is what you get: an easily-excitable, always-ready-to-fuck-shit-up killing machine.

Originally posted by markired

So…yeah. That’s pretty much my piece. Told you it’d be long. X’D

But tysm for asking!! And if any of you bothered reading this far, PLEASE reblog or leave a reply with your thoughts on my interpretation of these two characters and how you characterize them personally. I’m super crazy interested in the lore around these two (or lack thereof), which is why I created Texts From Dark And Anti in the first place. ^_^

which character should you fight (ft. Gen 1 FE:A dudes)

Chrom
Winner: You
look at this guy. look at his fashion choices. look at his nerd-ass lying on the ground in the smash trailer. someone needs to set this boy right. you may incur the wrath of everyone you dont want to fight but hey. do it for us. do it for all of humanity. (warning: he may try to marry you after. or before. or during.)

Frederick
Winner: who do you fuckin think
why would you even think about fighting frederick why would that thought ever cross your mind i mean 1. have you seen him. he has grown ass men and seasoned warriors on their knees praying, tears or sweat - fuck if they know - dripping down their faces just from his workouts. he’s the one who has to carry the bullshit of an entire kingdom, including his lords. 2. it was his ass that carried your slovenly ass through the first four chapters of lunatic/+ so how about you show some fucking respect. get fredereckt

Virion
Winner: You
are you kidding me? punch him in the crumpet. take his tea and pour it out in front of him. you get some on your clothes? no problem, rip his godforsaken cravat off and mop it up. if you’re a girl you might get away with it. otherwise he might fuck you up. who cares, it’s worth it.

Stahl
Winner: Stahl
fighting him will accomplish nothing. you’ll go up to him all ready for a tussle and he’ll glance over at you with a sleepy lopsided grin and a “oh hey, what’s up?” and that’s it. you’re done. you’ll lose all will to fight. his chill is contagious. and if you do somehow retain your fighting spirit? he’ll knock you flat on your ass. probably apologize too. it’ll be embarrassing for both of you. i mean the dude was trained by frederick after all. but i mean he’ll probably help you up and offer you food so idk. if you’re starving go for it.

Vaike
Winner: 50/50
look, i know what you’re thinking. look at all those muscles. the dude is ripped. fight him anyway. do it. he’ll probably forget his axe somewhere so you probably wont die. fuck him up. someone has to for the abomination that is “teach just got tenure.” Let him atone.

Lon’qu
Winner: Depends
If you aren’t a girl, you will be sliced into pieces so thin tharja might mistake you for her mesh body suit. if you are…. i mean you can try, but he’ll run. you can win if your cardio is good enough. go. chase him. Be Free.

Ricken
Winner: You
okay he’s the nerdiest of nerds but he’s also a fucking child so. idk man you can fight him if you want but what’s the point. if anything getting beat up by you will fuel his teenage rage and he’ll keep it stewing inside himself until he’s big enough to fight back and then you’ll have to deal with years of pent of rage and a napoleon complex but on a full sized being and no one wants to play therapist in a scrap. it just isnt worth it. i mean unless you’re like itachi uchiha then by all means go ahead

Gaius
Winner: You, but only with careful planning
ok so gaius isnt the toughest cookie, but he doesnt want to fight and he has access to the assassin class and i dont know about you but in my experience fighting assassins is no bueno. you get one punch in maybe if you’re lucky and take them by surprise but then youre dead and you cant fight for shit anymore. BUT if you take all his candy, his blood sugar will get low, making him weak and agitated. this is the optimal time to fight him. make sure he knows you’re the one who stole his candy. make sure he can smell the sugar on your breath. note: he may not spare your life if he gets the upper hand.

Gregor
Winner: Gregor, but you win friendship
i’ll be frank, gregor will beat the everloving shit out of you and there is nothing you can do about it should you choose to fight him. he’ll do it laughing and smiling, not even realizing he broke three of your frail ribs with one pulled punch. but he will absolutely take you out for a round after and exchange drunken stories with you. so fight him. even if he refuses, pay him to fight you. he cant say no to money and nothing is more valuable than fire-forged friendships.

Libra
Winner: Libra
why the fuck do you want to fight the priest. fuck fine, you know what? fight him. see what happens. he’s the only one who will pray for your immortal soul while you bleed out. but guess what, jackass? the gods are gonna see you tried to fight a priest and they’re gonna send your ass to the void anyway

Henry
Winner: ???
man fuck i dunno what this guy’s deal is. on one hand he’s a dark mage genius who was raised by wolves and then sent to a horrific boarding school/orphanage making him literally the stuff horror films are made of. on the other he can be a pretty nice guy if you’re his friend and he’s kinda fucked up so he might let you win. his crows will probably peck you to death either way though so its a lose-lose situation.

Basilio
Winner: Basilio
same deal as gregor, except basilio is hard-mode. he might accidentally kill you while you fight and his friendship is an even rarer flower. you gotta be charming. you gotta be smart. you gotta be somewhat strong. but if you do manage to get your ass beat and stay alive in such a way that he wants to grab a pint with you, take that beautiful budding friendship, hold it close to your breast and never let go

Donnel
Winner: You
he’s by far the sorriest character you get at recruitment. if it weren’t for that pot on his head, a feather falling too hard could kill him. but he’s a farmer that works day in and day out just so his village can survive. do you really want to fight the paradigm of the wondrous and wholesome rural life we should all aspire to? you capitalist pig.

i hope i didn’t forget anyone

Dance Like We’re Making Love (NSFW 18+)


A/N:
I’m 100% blaming @minhosmeanhoe and @sarcasticallystilinski for this. Together, although unknowingly, the polluted my mind with dirty Dylan thoughts that forced me to write this in like an hour and a half. It’s sickeningly short, but it’s to the point. Also, I want to thank both of these lovely ladies for always being there to fill my mind with fantastic ideas. This did come about because of the new pics of Dylan that have recently surfaced. You can see them here. The song that goes along with this fic is “Dance Like We’re Making Love” by Ciara. Posting twice in one day is a rarity for me but I had to. i’ve also used this gif wayyyy too many times.

Warnings: SMUTTT; UNPROTECTED SEX; 

Word Count: 1554

Originally posted by hothothotgg

Keep reading

Someone to Watch Over Me: Part 4

Title: Someone to Watch Over Me: Part 4

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Series Masterlist

Summary:  Things have shifted between you and Dean. A harsh truth comes to light.

Characters:  Dean Winchester, Female reader, Bobby Singer, Tiny, Sam Winchester (mentioned), Georgia (OFC), Melissa (OFC-mentioned), Charlie Bradbury, Tyson Brady, Ash, Garth, Jo Harvelle

Word Count:  3014

Warnings:  angst, harsh language

Author’s Notes: Inspired by but does not follow the Costner/Houston movie The Bodyguard.

***My work is not to be posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Keep reading

Make Tea, Not War.
If it weren’t for the sturdy construction of a late 2008 MacBook—yes, white (well, more like off-dingy-white) shell and all—and the soft, fluffy rug—a housewarming gift from your mother–that covered your hardwood floors, the computer would have been shattered when you vaulted from the couch after the article—sent from a friend that was in desperate need of a lesson in softening the blow–loaded on the screen.

“Fuck!” you cursed, haphazardly picking your laptop up by the corner and tossing it on the sofa. “Shit, fuck!” Snatching your not-yet-empty wine glass from its perch, you stomped into your flat’s little kitchenette and uncorked the bottle of red while downing what remained in your glass. You poured and downed another.

“Really?!” you screamed at the pocket pig calendar hanging opposite you, a bit of spittle and wine flying from your mouth.

Poor Darius; he and his little cowboy hat didn’t deserve any of this.

You tried to calm yourself, really you did, but after a few huffing breaths that were anything but calming, you gave up and grabbed the bottle of wine before heading back to the couch. Your phone was at your ear, number selected and dialed, before the blankets and pillows had even settled from the force of your entire body weight slamming dramatically into them.

“Honey, are you alright?” Despite the hint of worry in her tone, your mum’s voice managed to calm you a bit; suddenly air wasn’t being forced in and out of your lungs as a more natural rhythm took hold.

“No,” you answered tartly before taking another swig of wine. It was silent as you both waited for the other to speak.

“Well are you going to tell me or can I get back to bed?” Mum was always impatient when it came close to bedtime; she was a solid eight-hour sleeper—nothing more and nothing less—and she coordinated her bedtime and wakeup time perfectly so she always got the right amount of sleep.

“He’s…engaged,” you said bitterly, lips puckering around the words, a sour taste left in your mouth at the admission; it didn’t feel right coming off your tongue. And it wasn’t jealousy—or at least you didn’t want to admit it was—because you weren’t entirely sure that if He were replaced with We you would be left with the same sour feeling.

Keep reading

Jelly Beans

Summary: A cute little Chris Evans x Reader where you have just one thing missing, and you attempt to make it fall into place to create a picture-perfect life. Who knew having kids with the love of your life would be so perfect?
Warnings: light smut (unprotected sex), lots of fluffiness
Word count: 1165
A/N: I would complain about this whole thing popping into my head during the time where I should be studying but I’d never say no to a cute fluffy fic. This was inspired by one of @emilyevanston​‘s adorable headcanons!

Originally posted by nerdofallfandoms


Keep reading

Owner

A/N: Hello everyone! It’s been a hot minute. Hopefully this new series makes up for everything J I haven’t written hybrid!au stuff before, but I find it really hot so why the fuck not right?

There will be smut in later chapters!

If you’re not into that kind of stuff, then I wouldn’t read this story.

Based sorta on this J-Drama called Kimi Wa Petto, if you wanna check it out its super cute.

Keep reading

I love you (MATURE)

I know this isn’t Marvel imagine, but i wrote this long time ago and thought maybe i should post it. 

The bed was so comfortable. She rolled around in her sleep and she felt like she was floating on the clouds. She starched her arm to touch her boyfriend, but all she met was more silky sheets. She slowly began to open her eyes, it took her some time before she could see properly. Her eyes needed some time to get used to the darkness.

That reminded her of the psychology class from the other day, when their teacher told them, that their eyes need thirty minutes before you could see anything.

She always found that very stupid, especially when she was walking to school in the morning. Her eyes didn’t need thirty minutes to get used to the darkness, she could see properly just after five minutes.

She looked around the room but she couldn’t find much known, and very dear silhouette to her. He was nowhere to be found, and that got her wondering, what he could be possibly doing at this time of the night. To be honest she didn’t know what time it was, and neither was she going to look, because it would be a crime to move from this holy position.

She was always laying on her stomach, she would much likely fall asleep on her back, but during the night she would always find her way back onto the stomach. It was the most comfortable pose ever. So she didn’t even bother to roll back and grab her phone form the night stand.

She was laying like that for solid ten minutes, even though it seemed to her like it was hours. She wasn’t sure how much time has passed, but she wondered how she didn’t fall asleep immediately. She is always the first one to fall asleep, she could lay anywhere, and within the minute, and she would be out.

But it was only because she was sleeping next to him, but when they were separated because of his tour and her school, she would barely get some kind of sleep. She just missed the warmth his body produced, the feeling of his strong, muscular hands wrapped around her body. His sweet little kisses all the way from her back, over her shoulder, around her neck and finally locking with hers. His low voiced “Goodnight” that was so innocence, but it would still send shivers down her spine.

She is so deeply in love with him, so over her head with him, he can make her lose her mind in less than a second. She would do anything for him, and that scares her the most. She never thought she would love anyone so much, it terrifies her sometimes. The thought that he holds her everything in his hands, her heart, her soul, her life, that one wrong word, move and she will be shuttered, broken, left in pieces.

He isn’t the type of person that would hurt her on purpose, he’s a sweet, loving and genuine guy. But lately he hasn’t been acting like himself. She understands that tour took a lot of his energy, and that all he wants now is peace and to relax, and she respects that. What hurts the most is when he says he needs to relax but he goes out with his friends, and comes home in early morning hours. She tried to confront him about it, but he would just raise his hands in the air, call her petty or just tell her that he missed them.

But so does she. She haven’t seen him in a year, all she wants now is, for him to wrap his hands around her, tell her he loves her and just cuddle for the rest of the day. She’s not asking for much, is she now? And even though he’s home now, she feels the same way she did when he was on tour. She misses him, and he’s right there, but just like he isn’t. She tried everything, she wonders if she did something wrong, is he mad at her, but anytime she would start a conversation about it, he would just push her off.

She let out a loud sigh and moved the covers from her body, and as soon as the silky sheets left her body, she felt shivers run down her spine, and only then she realised, the balcony doors were open, she was staring at them but she didn’t notice, not until now, and that’s exactly what he does to her. She wasn’t really sure why she felt the shivers because it wasn’t even cold.

And then she saw him, he was standing there, leaning onto balcony fence, looking so peaceful, maybe that’s the reason she felt them, her brain recognised him before she did. But one thing shocked her, he was smoking a cigarette. She was damn sure he stopped, at least that’s what he said. Well more correctly, that’s what he promised to do.

All she wanted to do was to go out, hug him from behind and just stay like that for hours. But she was afraid, afraid to move, because if he hears her, he will turn around and again go into his, now natural state, tensed.

She observed him for few more minutes, and then she decided to get up, she didn’t walk towards him, rather she went down to the kitchen and grab herself something to drink. She wasn’t really thirsty, but she couldn’t lay there anymore. She was so distracted that she almost fell over the pile of his clothes that was on the floor. And that little pile made her so angry, so she just wanted to turn around, go out and yell at him. Later on, she wasn’t even sure if she was mad about the pile, or about him in general.

She opened the fridge and just stared in, does she take bottle of water or apple juice. She went with just regular water, because she didn’t want anything sweet. She poured it into a glass and brought it to her lips, she was slowly drinking while looking through the kitchen window, into the dark, full of shadows, back yard. Shadows were playing around, enlighten the trees, now from this, now from that side. She calmed down a little bit, and she didn’t even hear him come.

Lately she was so distracted, it started to bother her. His low and quiet voice shook her out of her dreams. It was so quiet, but so was the house so it sounded like he was standing right behind her, but she knew he was either leaning onto kitchen door, or kitchen cabinets.

“Why are you up so late?”

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Does she tells him the truth, that she can’t sleep without him and that the person who sleeps with her now isn’t her boyfriend, but some stranger taking over his body? Or does she just lie to him, and tells him its school? She rather decided to say nothing but to stare through window again.

Now she could feel the smell of cigarette that he just smoked, and it bothered her so much. The smell was so unpleasant, she wanted to turn around and tell him to shower. She took a deep breath, put the glass into the sink, knowing that she’s going to wash it tomorrow. She slowly turned around, trying not to catch his gaze, slowly started walking towards their shared room.

Just as she thought she had passed him, she felt the strong grip on her hand. By then she was already pissed off, and all she could do was let out a loud groan. She tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but he only pulled her closer. Her face met his bare chest, and she appreciated the warmth and smell of his body, even though the smell of cigarette ruined it.

“I’m tired Justin, let me go, please.”

Her voice was low, she felt tired, but not physical tiredness, no the mental one was bigger problem.

“Apparently you’re not tired enough if you woke up at 2.30 a.m.” and what could she say to that. She hated it when he became cocky little shit, mostly because that wasn’t her Justin. She wanted to talk to him about everything, but she knew it would all turn into a fight, and for that, she was not ready.

“My mouth was dry, so it woke me up, can you please let me go now?”

She whispered into his chest, feeling her eyes getting wetter. No she didn’t want to cry, but sometimes we don’t cry because we’re weak, we cry because it’s the only way to let out the pain, the frustration. It’s the only way to make mental pain, physical. But she didn’t want to cry in front of him, she just didn’t.

But his question dried her eyes in a second, she again became frustrated and angry, but at the same time confused and sad. That’s what he does to her. Confuses her, completely.

“Why are you avoiding me? In the evening, you’re already sleeping even before I enter the room. You leave in the morning without a kiss, without a goodbye. When I want to make you feel good, and you know how good I make you feel, your head hurts, or you have an exam to study for, or just something else that doesn’t make any damn sense.”

She was indeed avoiding him, but she only did it because she thought that would protect her from him. She didn’t know why she needed the protection from him, but she felt that way, if he was going to push her away, she won’t be able to try and hold him.

She was once again speechless, or so she pretended she was. She was a burning lion, observing, but always ready to attack.

She felt his hand under her chin, pulling it up, to finally meet his gaze. Every single time she would look into his eyes, he would make her feel like she’s seeing him for the first time ever, that weird feeling in her stomach made her change her weight from her right to her left leg.

He looked at her, or more properly, he observed her, he was still waiting for an answer, but he knew he wouldn’t get one, not from her and not tonight. But did he even wanted it? No, he just needed her attention, but he didn’t realise he was the reason why she stopped giving him so much attention. She wasn’t even aware of what she was doing to him. He was making him go crazy, he hated her for that.

He moved so fast she didn’t even got to catch a breath before her back met stone cold wall. His hands were on each side of her body, her legs were wrapped around him, and they fit so perfectly. His face was so close, their noses touched and she could feel his hot breath on her face. He was looking deeply into her eyes like he was asking for permission, but she knew he wasn’t.

Their lips met, and there was no sweetness in it, no patience, only roughness. But she didn’t mind, he moved his left hand down her body and gripped her ass, ass his lips did the same, concentrating on her neck. His pace was at the same time rough but perfect. All she could do was let out a small moan, that made him lean more into her, and she could feel his smirk growing against her neck. She wrapped her hand around his muscles, digging her nails into his skin. Suddenly he pulled his lips away from her neck, and he moved her from cold wall to the kitchen table. She used the chance to take her shirt off.

As soon as her nipples were exposed and hit by cold air they got hard. His eyes moved from her lips to her breast and he didn’t waste any time. He took her right nipple into his mouth, nibbling and sucking onto it, while he took other one in between his fingers and started tugging onto it. She let out a loud moan of pleasure. His mouth moved from her nipple to her mouth.

“You’re fucking gorgeous, you know that? Let me make you feel the way I only know.”

He mumbled against her lips, the only response she offered him was a small whimper. He moved his lips down her jaw again, this time making sure to leave marks all the way from her neck to her breast. He moved his left hand down her body, until he reached her inner thigh. He moved the tips of his fingers against the sensitive skin, teasing her. She groaned and tried to pull herself closer to him, she was eager to fell his touch.

“Please, Justin” she whispered. Neither of them could wait any longer, but he felt indescribable pleasure teasing her. He slid his hand into her underwear, his fingers meeting her clit, rubbing it roughly. “So fucking wet.” He slid his fingers into her without a warning. Sudden pleasure made her let out loud moan, trying to get even closer to him, just so she could feel more of him.

“You keep moving closer to me, baby girl, even though there is no more place to move. See, only I make you feel this way. You should remember that.” He moved his lips from her neck and looked deeply into her eyes.

“I was going to tease you some more, but I just want to fuck the shit out of you.” he pulled his fingers out, pulled his Calvin Klein’s down, separated her legs and without a warning slammed into her. His mouth fell open while she moaned loudly. She wrapped her hands around his naked body, scratching his back.

“Fucking hell. You’re so tight, baby girl.” he hovered over her, making her back hit the cold table board. His mouth found her nipple and started nibbling onto it. Her mouth fell open from sudden pleasure. His hips found a perfect pace.

“Tell me how good I make you feel.” He groaned against her nipple. She wanted too, but the pleasure was too much and the only way she responded was through loud moan. But he wasn’t pleased with that. He slapped her ass, twice, once from right side, other time from left side. Burn that she felt after his hands made her whimper even more. When she still wasn’t responding, he picked his pace, even though she thought he couldn’t go any faster.

Their bodies moved in sync, and she could spot sweat dripping down his forehead. Even though the kitchen was very big, it became so hot in there that she wanted to jump out of her skin.

She felt his hand around her neck, griping her tightly, and the rough feeling almost pushed her over the edge, but he suddenly pulled out. The sudden feeling of emptiness made her whimper.

“You’re not cumming, until you tell me how god I make you feel, you understand me?” she nodded and pulled her hips up, trying to get him to continue. But he just looked at her. She took a deep breath and started.

“You make me feel so-“but she wasn’t able to finish. He pushed into her with so much force, all she could do was scream. She could see a smirk playing on his lips, he was pleased with her answer.

She felt the well-known feeling and she knew she was close. She won’t be able to hold it any longer, but she could see he was just as close as she was.

“I feel you getting tighter around me. You wanna cum, baby girl?” His voice was low and husky and she only could nod.

“Yes, please.” She somehow mumbled in between the moans.

“Look at me, let’s cum together.” Their eyes met, and like it was their trigger, his movements became sloppier and he let out a loud groan, while she screamed out his name, scratching his back. She could feel him feeling her up with his jounces and it was the best feeling.

“Oh fuck.” He mumbled, they both tried to catch a breath after an amazing experience.

“I love you.” he leaned closer and locked their lips once again. “I love you” she mumbled against his lips.

He picked her into his arms and carried her to their shared room.

Forelsket - Part 2

Characters - Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader, Natasha Romanoff, Wanda Maximoff

Word Count - 3407

Warnings - Language

Forelsket -  (Norwegian) That overwhelming euphoric feeling you experience when you’re falling in love with someone

A/N - I’m so excited about this soulmate AU that I basically have been writing it non-stop so far. The feedback from you guys is what keeps me going, tbh. Your boyfriend Bucky or your soulmate Steve, who do you go for?

Forelsket Masterlist

You knew that bringing Steve back to your apartment probably wasn’t the best idea but you didn’t know what else to do. Being seen out in the open on campus wasn’t something that you could risk, which you should’ve considered before you kissed him.

Keep reading