MAYBE ITS MY FAULT- CALFREEZY IMAGINE
So I got carried away and this is really long… But I also love it so I hope you do.
Maybe I was the cause of all the problems in my relationship with Cal. Maybe it was actually me and not him. I mean we both had fucked up schedules and many times we went weeks without actually seeing each other.
He goes to bed around three in the morning and I wake up at about four in the morning to train. I don’t get home till about five and by then Cal is already filming or doing other things.
I’m a gymnast and he’s youtuber and quite honestly I thought his schedule was messing us up, but now I’m sure it’s mine.
I do an hour of yoga and stretching before eating breakfast and doing a few miles of running. Then I drive to the gym where I live from six to three. Then I finally head home to my flat and I’m exhausted, but it doesn’t end there because after dinner I go back to the gym to teach a class for the little ones.
Unfortunately, for my relationship, I do this Monday through Friday and weekends are the same minus teaching classes.
Maybe I was the reason my relationship was failing. It was most likely me and the olympics.
“Why are you falling off the beam on a simple turn?!” My trainer screams from the other side of the gym and I look up at him.
“Because my relationship is failing!” I scream back.
“Well get back on the beam and focus. Even the three year olds can turn on beam without falling and you have a gold medal on it.”
He has a point. You’d think after being an overall bronze medalist at worlds two years in a row and having a gold medal on beam at the olympics, I’d be able to do better.
“Can you get through today’s practice or do I need to send you home to work out your boyfriend troubles?” He asks and I shake my head.
“No because he doesn’t even realize that we’re falling apart.” I explain before stepping back onto the beam.
“Nope get on down. You’re not gonna get injured right now because you’re unfocused.” He reaches up and grabs my waist before pulling me down.
“Go home, talk to him and come back here tomorrow ready to stick the routine we’ve given you because in two months you’re competing in the qualifier and I need your head on straight and the routine clean.”
“Okay.” I nod in agreement before walking over to my bag and pulling on my team Great Britain sweatshirt that match my blue shorts that sit on top of my leotard. Once I’m outside I pull out my phone and stare at it for a few moments.
“Hey Cal, can I come over?”
“Yeah of course. I just have some of the guys over filming. I thought you had training.”
“Let me out early, but I’ll be over in a few. Love you.”
“Love you too. I’ll unlock the door.” He hangs up and by the time I get to the flat all I hear is pure chaos.
“It’s the Olympic gymnast who got stuck dating Callum!” I hear Harry shout before pulling me in for a hug.
“Aren’t you usually doing flips at this time of day?” He asks and I nod.
“Coach sent me home.” I explain as he steps away and let’s Cal come over to greet me.
“You hurt?” He questions before kissing me on my head.
“No just off my game I guess. I mean I fell off the beam doing a simple pirouette and I’m the gold medalist on beam. I do pirouettes in my sleep.” I ramble slightly and he notices something is wrong.
“Well go change and join us.” He pats me on the shoulder and I nod before placing my bag down and walking to his room. I pull off my leotard and other clothes before grabbing one of his weezy tops and pulling my shorts back on. I go to leave his room before looking in the mirror and realize I actually look like shit.
“I’m not gonna be caught on camera with this.” I mumble as I pull my hair out of the messy bun. I quickly put some concealer on my neck because a bruise the beam gave me looks like a hickey and then I’m ‘ready’ to be seen by others.
“Guys look it’s the girl with the Olympic gold medal.” Someone throws a vlogging camera in my face.
“Stop it. It was one gold medal.”
“Yeah but you’re family has a room in their house dedicated to medals and awards that you received growing up.” Cal points out
“Well it’s my only Olympic gold medal.”
“My bad I forgot about the bronze on uneven bars.”
“I could be better. Have you met the American team their incredible.” I look down at my callused hands and think about the eighteen years of my life that have been dedicated to the sport. My twenty first birthday was spent at the gym training for nationals. I mean I pushed so much of my life off just to compete. Yet I still feel unaccomplished. Like I could do more and to others it sounds stupid but for me it’s just the life of a gymnast.
“Anyway I’m gonna go lie down. I didn’t realize how out of it I am till now.” I stand up off the couch and Callum looks worried.
“Guys set up the video I’ll be back.” He follows me into his room and I take a seat on the bed.
“What’s going on? You haven’t missed a day of training since you had the flu three months ago.” He asks and I shrug while rubbing on my right ring finger that has the Olympic Rings tattooed onto it.
“I’m ruining our relationship. I mean we barely ever see each other and when we do, the guys are around, or we’re both out of it and tired. I mean we haven’t spent time watching Netflix and relaxing together in months. I mean we maybe get to call each other every week or so.” I shrug before looking up and facing the reality.
“I mean you started dating me right after the Olympics and I’m not the same person I was back then. I had about three or four months of normalcy where I just hung out and relaxed and only went to the gym twice a week. Now it’s a year later and I’m training hard for nationals and to make the national team for worlds. This is the real me and the real me is fucking up everything. I mean did you not notice my lack of presence at the party last week or that I wasn’t there for the Sidemen football match? I mean I missed a lot and I feel like you don’t care. Like it doesn’t matter.”
“You think I don’t care or notice that you aren’t there? Cause I do and yeah it hurts but I don’t say anything because you’re pursing a dream and I’m not gonna stop you from doing that. You’re incredible and I’m not gonna stop you from reaching you’re highest potential. I don’t wanna make you feel bad so I don’t say anything. And yeah maybe you and I don’t talk much and this is the first time I’ve seen you in person in a month, but I still love you. I mean what do you want me to say? That I mad? Cause I am, but I’m not gonna do that to you. I mean it sucks when all the others guys have their girlfriends around and we all go out to eat and mine isn’t there because she’s training. Yeah it sucks but I don’t say anything because I’m not gonna stop you from doing you’re best. Im not gonna make you feel like shit for doing you. So don’t come in here and act like I don’t try because it’s you that doesn’t have time for me.” He shouts back and I realize that I was… no I am… the problem.
“So what does this mean?” I ask and he places his hands over his face before looking up at the ceiling and back down to me.
“I think it means we’re done.” He admits and I nod before picking up my bag and walking out of the room.
“Wait where you going?” Harry asks and I just ignore him. Once I’m out of the flat I just run. I run to my car and I drive straight to the gym.
“Why are you back here? I’m not letting you train upset.”
“I’m here because he fucking broke up with me.” I finally respond after a few moments of silence.
“And I’m ready to train.”
“You look so tense. Like go get a drink.” My teammate jokes and actually consider that as an option.
“I mean Cal and I split like a month ago and I have been quite lonely. I mean I haven’t slept with a guy in so long. I mean it’s hard to have a sex life when I’m always here.”
“Well there’s always the boys.” She motions over to the chalk bin where some of the Olympic guys are standing.
“Mel really?” I fidget with my grips and she nods.
“I mean I had that fling with Luke.” She smiles and I look over at them.
“They’re just as horny as we are. Like I’m just about to for one of them at this point.” She shrugs and I nod.s
“Let them know you’re single sweetie.” I wink before grabbing her hand and pulling her over to the chalk bin by the bars.
“Move it or lose it boys.” I smirk before looking up. “Or do something with it.”
“Oh is that right?” Ash grabs my waist and I nod. He pulls me closer to his body and leans down to kiss behind my ear. “I’ll see you by my car.” He leaves another kiss on my neck before looking around.
“I’m sorry do you guys need some space?” I hear my coach shout and I quickly pull away from Ash and turn around to face my trainer who is holding up an elastic band.
“I thought we were doing bars.” I raise an eyebrow and he holds up another elastic band.
“You and Ash here and gonna be having fun today and not the fun you wanted to have.” He throws the bands at us and I contemplate throwing myself on the ground and crying.
“Feet together and up the rope. Come on you two, now you’re gonna do that ten times each and once you’re done do it another ten times.” He shouts and Ash looks at me while smirking.
“Good I’ll get to see your cute ass climb up the rope.”
“Not gonna be cute when he makes us do even worse things. Last time he caught me kissing my boyfriend I was sixteen and he made me do twenty times up the rope, a five mile run, and thirty standing tucks before making me call the boy and tell him he would ruin my future and I couldn’t date him.”
“Yeah and he only let me date after I won gold on beam. Now he’s pissed because of you because he thinks you’re gonna ruin my chance at gold again.” I explain while tying my ankles together.
“What about my chance at gold?” He jokes and I grab onto the rope. “My bad I mean my chance at gold for the third worlds in a row.” He reaches over and tries to tip me over before climbing up the rope.
“So Im gonna go take an ice bath. I gotta take an ice bath.” I limp over to ice baths as Asher follows me.
My trainer had us do five miles, and then it got worse. Back tuck followed by a burpee. Twenty sets of five followed by chin ups on the high bar and then he made me continue running. Then he made me do my floor routine full out four times in row. The worst was that Ash was allowed to stop after the running and he sat back cheering me on while laughing.
“Can you possibly carry me?” I ask and he grabs onto my waist and throws me over his shoulder. Once we get to the ice baths he puts me down and I slowly climb into the freezing water.
“How’s the boyfriend been?” He asks and I can’t help but laugh.
“I wouldn’t have flirted with you if he was still my boyfriend.” I explain and he leans against the edge of the tub next to me.
“Why’d you split?”
“I don’t have time for a relationship when I’m here being an Olympic gymnast.”
“Oh trust me… There’s time. That one hour break we get between twelve and one for lunch and then the break we have from three to seven and again when you have a break at nine after you’re done teaching the little ones. Trust me there’s time, but unless both people are trying, you won’t feel like there is time.”
“And weekends at night. You’re boyfriend sounds like an ass.” He laughs and I shake my head.
“No I’m the ass. I didn’t try either. I wanted him to try and I couldn’t expect him to.” I look up at him and he shakes his head before standing up.
“I can’t sleep with you. I’m sorry but I was flirting back because I’m an ass but you love another guy. Like come on you still love Cal.” He grabs my hand and pulls me up out of the ice bath.
“You should stretch, take a shower, and go get your boyfriend back.”
“No I don’t love him anymore, it’s fine.” I try to dissuade him and he smiles softly.
“Can’t do that to you. I mean you’re on my Olympic team.” He laughs and I cross my arms over my chest.
“Okay, well thanks Asher.”
“Hey Harry, is Callum home? I gotta talk to him.”
“Oh, what’re you doing here?” He hugs me before pulling me inside and pointing to the kitchen.
“Wait before I go, is he seeing someone new?” I ask and he shakes his head.
“You’re good.” He laughs while motioning for me to follow him inside.
“Callum? Can we talk?” I ask and he looks up before nodding and motioning for him to follow me.
“Mind me asking why you’re here?” He asks while shutting the door behind us.
“Cause I got to practice and for the first time since I was sixteen I got fully punished. I had to climb the rope with just my upper body twenty times and then ran five miles. Then did so many back tucks into burpees that I almost passed out and it didn’t stop there. I had to do chin ups and handstands and all that other shit before dying and doing my floor routine fully out.”
“The last time that happened I got caught having my first kiss outside. It was my first boyfriend and it was so worth the pain I endured after. However, today wasn’t the same because I got caught flirting with another guy who then turned me down because he told me I’m still in love with you. And he’s right, I am still in love with you, but he also made a really good point and I want you to listen.” I place my bag down and he motions for me to continue.
“He mentioned that I do have enough time for us. He pointed out that there is enough time and I think I messed up before and yeah I do want to get back together but please just tell me if I’m already overstepping my boundaries. I mean I’ll just go now if you don’t want to get back together.”
“Don’t think that, please don’t think that. Yes I want to get back together and yes I’ll find a way to work this out so please don’t cry.” He pulls me into his arms and I wrap my arms around his waist.
“Missed you shorty.” He pulls away and brushes my hair away from my face before kissing me.
“I love you.” He picks me up and I place my face into his shoulder.
“I love you too.” I smile before leaving kisses on his cheek. “I love you so so much.” I laugh as I keep leaving kisses on his cheek and he smiles before turning his head and kissing me again.
“I’m not letting you go again.”