my bird is plotting to kill me

"Three Feet to the Left" or "Tango causes an existential crisis"

Just a random thought that popped into my head while writing out the plot points for the end of my NurseyDex fic. Obviously these are linked because: needlenose pliers look like birds with long pointy beaks, which look like those old plague doctor masks, which decimated Europe and killed millions of people in the middle ages, which obviously made me think of the question that Tango asks below to create a team-wide existential crisis. Enjoy!

“Do you ever think about how if the Black Death hadn’t happened, none of us would exist?” Tango asks casually over team breakfast.

“What’re you talking about, man?” Holster asks. Dex rolls his eyes because it is too damn early for this.

“Maybe your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother or whoever would have married the man next door, but he died. So she married a guy from one town over who survived instead, and now you exist.”

(Under a cut for language)

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Prompt #4

Hey flowers! This has been the quickest fic I’ve written so far. I’m getting faster :) Lol it’s only taken me two whole nights of deciding whether or not it’s worth posting. 

I got these two prompts at the same time and decided to kill two birds with one stone; it seemed possible enough (because lesbihonest, a fucking massage is definitely appreciated on a shitty day!)

I really liked my characterization in this one; I think I got some pretty good paragraphs in. Let me know what you think! X

(PS. I’m totally aware that the Academy office wouldn’t have a swivel-y chair ‘cause it doesn’t fit the set at all buuut I needed it for plot reasons don’t judge! RM is allowed to do that!)

(PPS. I do still have about 7 prompts in my inbox from ages ago. I am working on them. I’m just easily distracted and like to choose what prompts I continue with depending on my mood. They are coming, I promise! And most of my followers are horny lil shits and I know y’all are getting frustrated w the lack of sexy times in my fic, so I promise the next one will be smutty to make up for it!)


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anonymous asked:

for the fic meme, ziall or narry 21!!

1.8k ziall for things you said when we were on top of the world. i wrote a 6k fic for this prompt previously here, but this verse continues from this uni au

“It’s going to be fine,” Niall says, patting Zayn’s hand clumsily where it’s clamped around the armrest.

“That’s easy for you to say, you’re sitting next to the emergency exit. You’re first one off when this thing goes bottom-up and we all die.”

Niall laughs, partly because it’s a little funny, partly out of exasperation. No matter how many times Niall tells Zayn that Louis was joking about the plane going upside down thing, he won’t believe him. “I offered to switch you seats, do you want my seat?”

“No,” Zayn says darkly. “If the pressure inside the plane explodes or whatever, I want your skinny ass first one out. Bird caught in the engine, I don’t know. Poor bird. You did this to me.”

“I invited you home to Portland for Easter break, I don’t think I hatched some plot to get you killed in an airplane accident.”

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