I’ve been on an Elvis Presley kick lately…sue me. ;)
The first time Jensen ever saw you, you were making your way to set with your headphones in, turned all the way up. He could faintly hear the sounds of Elvis Presley and he knew then that he needed to talk to you. He hadn’t gotten the chance that day, but the next day, he had gone to your trailer to walk you to set and yet again he could hear the loud music coming from the inside…this time Heartbreak Hotel. He smiled to himself and decided that it wasn’t right for him to walk in on you like that.
I have so many things I want to say but since I’m usually horrible with words ( and…get really mushy with being sentimental….a LOT— ), I’ll keep things simple and sweet!!
Essentially, a couple of weeks ago, I didn’t think that this blog would receive as much as it has now had in recent days. I started it out on a whim ( because….I’m so weak in wanting to rp people of color when I’m a person of color as well ), and because I had a weird urge to sneak into the FE fandom again unnoticed —
THAT didn’t happen, of course, and I ended up getting swarmed by??? such good people??? with beautiful writing???? and beautiful characters??? Regardless of the fandom they were from ( and there are quite a few, ya’ll rock ), it made my current experience on Boey so far one of the BEST I’ve ever had —and that’s saying a lot, since I haven’t felt this THRILLED to be roleplaying someone in a while — and I have you all to thank for it!
So in no particular order, I’m just gonna come out and say it—
Anyone reading this post? Totally has all my love and respect.
If we met 5 minutes ago or 5 months ago, this is a little information about me, as an Artist, Christian, Person… So it would help to share, so I can see all of my old friends, meet new ones, or if you just enjoy my art, so here we go, a little about me:
My name is Tony, I am a Christian, (I will talk about that more later) I am a mix of Navajo, White, and Mexican… Strange combo I know ^u^
I am 6′4″ (roughly 193cm - 194cm) wear mostly dark clothes because I think they look nice and yes, my hair is just like how I draw it, I get many many comments on it XD, it is very fluffy. And takes lot’s and lot’s of hairspray heheh
In summary, I grew up in a rough neighborhood as a child. Gang violence, and well… just not a place for someone who wants to Love God haha… My entire family was inclined to artistic ability, creating patterns, creating pictures so realistic, they looked like grey-scaled filters on photographs.
The best artists were my Two oldest brothers… They were Tall, Strong, Very popular, very kind, loving… and their art… their art was incredible… Drawing mech’s at 12, and perfect self portraits at 20… they were inspiring.
In short, my family was destroyed at the loss… of both of them. One died a Hero, Giving His life to protect a friend, the other killed standing up for what’s right.
My family destroyed, distraught, and me caught in the middle. In this time, My Father, my little brothers and I became Homeless… living in a car, living in a homeless shelter and other places… But there was my Dad… praying everyday, with a smile on His face… I was confused… in pain.
But… I couldn’t feel a thing… People saw me smile, saw me laugh, but it was just a show, with everything I had gone through I was a child with a broken spirit. I was putting on a show to pretend… I forgot how to feel, how to care, how to… Love.
But God did a good work… He saved us from where we were… we did not go hungry. I should be dead… that is the truth, but God chose to hold us, protect us… My Dad, never doubted… that’s why He would smile… He wasn’t just asking God to save us, He was thanking God because He KNEW God would.
“So you trusted God since then right? That was such an amazing thing He had done, so you lived for Him then on right?” …No… Sadly.
It took me a very, very, very long time to see the light that shined in my life…Even after going through all of this, I still just saw God as the one my dad believed in… and the truth is… and it breaks my heart to say this but…
I didn’t learn how to truly care for people, love people, and know people, know my emotions… until just a few months ago. Which is a reason I left… Don’t get me wrong, I knew how to say the right words, how to make people feel nice, loved, cared for… but in my Heart it was not real.
But I am only now truly, caring for people, with my whole heart… not a mask… not a trick… I care about people, and love them… in a real way… and I never want to stop.
Now with my Family in ruins, The artistic lights in my life Gone, the greatest artists I’ve ever known, the brothers who raised me… gone… I lost any ambition I could have had… ~~~~~~~
I wanted to try, at least a little… I picked up a DSI, and doodled, not good art, but that’s where… That’s where I found my inspiration.
My inspiration, showing me that there was hope, and good things that can be done with art, if something so amazing could stick around me, even though I had no skills…Even if my brothers are gone, in me, How much more could I create? That’s when I really gave it a shot, and went from stick figures to realistic art in around a year… my inspiration came and went, showing me what I could do, if I believed my art had purpose.
My inspiration was important, but… if the inspiration was just for me, and had nothing to do with God, I couldn’t keep it… That’s the truth, because God has great plans for me and my life. With Him, I became a Counselor, a youth teacher and a Church leader in short time…
Not long ago, my inspiration led me to tumblr, and I loved it, even if I disagree with, certain views people hold… I want to be a friend, and care nonetheless… I grew closer and closer to my inspiration, growing my skills, my heart… and yet also growing my weakness as I learned…
Then… I lost my inspiration, no matter how much I hurt, tried and called out… my inspiration was lost. As I felt lost as well… That’s when it happened…
God showed me, He took away a gift I wasn’t ready for. This inspiration was His blessing, and I didn’t work with it right… I was selfish…
That’s when I realized, I needed to be real, who God wanted me to be, and when I realized that, when I stopped trying to fight God and get MY way… He gave me, and those around me so much more than I could imagine…
He gave me life, hope, and finally, after years, and years, of waiting and wondering… He showed me what caring about people really was, really caring, really loving, not selfishly. So that’s why I am back. Because I want to be the friend, the… Tony I should have been…
Did I get my inspiration back? Well, no not really… my inspiration is out there, and I call to it everyday, but… I am not worried anymore, I know when the time is right, this time… I will be ready, and I will be the best I can be!
So that’s my story so far, at least in summary, there is many things I left out, but hey one day maybe heheh, Thanks for reading!
I would like to give a special shout out to people who have inspired me here, and were a huge reason I came back:
nothing like them.” “I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I first laid
eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!” ((This is preferably where they just go for it
with a kiss.))
This wasn’t your typical love story, I
fell in love with Jax under not the greatest circumstances I was a cop working
for the DEA and trying to get my hands on the cartel when I stumbled upon the
Sons of Anarchy immediately Jackson Teller put all his cards over the table to
try and convince me to stay out of trouble with the club and I did it not
because I was scared but because I fell deeply in love with the blonde leader.
As time passed I thought he would just use
me and throw me in the bin, a couple times we were on the rocks before we even
called this a relationship but this relationship would rather be defined as
fuck buddies than a couple something that really bothered me as time went by.
It had been over 4 months since the first time we officially hooked up and we
were still playing games.
My boots stomped heavily through the TM, I
could already hear the party from a mile away but oh hell I was pissed. I was
out of the deal of chasing the Sons of Anarchy, conflict on interests and I was
transferred even though my boss had no idea of my relationship with the club he
thought I was being threaten and I was too scared to keep up with the case so
he transferred me to southern California and Jax paid me visits every time he
could or I would go back to Charming for the weekend.
I got a text message with a picture that
said more than a thousand words, Jackson on top of a Croweater, my friend
decided to add a sweet message with the “Is this your man?” I knew Rick was not
very keen to my relationship with the club but he still supported me, we
trained together when we were both only 18 and 12 years later our relationship
was stronger than ever. I groaned internally before slamming open the door of
the club not like anybody would notice with all the noise but I was pissed, I
looked around looking for Jackson and I found him seating at the bar talking to
“Hey” I said to Chibs and he nodded “I need to talk to you” I said to Jax
and he nodded before taking me to the back to his room.
darlin’? Something wrong?” he said looking at me with those blue eyes I loved so
yeah. I want whatever this is to be done” I said and he looked at me with wild eyes
“Look, Jax. You are amazing but I can’t
live my life being just someone’s fuck buddy. I don’t want that” I said
looking at him and he nodded.
you wanted to keep this a secret” he said in barely a whisper and I nodded
sake of my job I did but I can’t deal with you…you sleeping with other women” I said looking down “I never know what you want from me, from us. I have done my best so
far but this is not enough” I said “I
can’t be one of your Croweaters, I’m not asking to be an Old Lady not at all,
it’s just that I’m not better than them with what we are doing” I said
nothing like them, YN” he said putting his hands on both sides of my face “I don’t want this to end and if you tell me
this is not enough for you I’ll man up and try to make it work because I want
you to be happy, I want you to be with me” he said and I looked at him shaking
“You are a strong, beautiful, smart
woman” he said
that doesn’t help with what I’m feeling” I said and he put me closer to him “I can’t Jackson, I’m in love with you”
I said and his eyes looked at me with surprise “Laugh at me if you want, I know I’m an idiot” I said stepping away
from me “This is why I need to end this,
I can’t” I said before turning to leave, as I was closing the door behind
me it opened again Jax putting me inside the room once again. “Jackson…” I said but he grabbed my
face on his strong hands once again.
“I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment I
first laid eyes on you and – Oh, screw it!” he said before kissing me slowly, making
me immediately melt on his arms “I adore
you, so much YN. Man what you have done to me this last months, what you did for
me I can’t be more thankful. You are all I want, baby girl and I’m in for
making you my old lady and having you by my side if you want to.”
games? No more Croweaters?” I said
of that, I’ll even tell the boys, they’ll keep the secret until you decide what
to do with your job” he said and I nodded before kissing him once again.
well 2016 is about to end and despite the tragedies that happens around the world, my 2016 ended up being one of the best ive had so far. i made so many new friends and met so many people who i appreciate and adore so soo much. sending all my love to all my followers for sticking with me even though i havent been online as much as i used to!!!! heres to 2017 🥂