my beloved story

A new girl at work said she didn’t like Chris Evans, especially because of his hairy chest in What’s Your Number? and I don’t remember what happened after that I must’ve blacked out but you guys can vouch for my whereabouts the past 4 hours, right? RIGHT?!?

youtube

😳😱😭😍

you guys need to see david’s epic ig story bombardment from this afternoon. i mean. is there anyone on the planet more ridiculous than this guy? (Hint: no.)

apparently this is what happens when david goes from a no-sugar no-carbs no-fun diet to eating penguin bros ice cream sandwiches. he is so high, you guys. so so high lol. bless sugar.

also, in case you think you can just scroll on by without watching, this happens:

Seafoam's Story

He was a freshman when we met, So foolish and fresh. He never carried around salt or Iron and thought it a good idea to think allowed when he wrote poetry, the fool. That boy so foolish and fresh, even wrote and spoke it next to the pool.

So fragilely human yet so unafraid. I may have a few drops of human blood but I am still a seal maid. Iron burns and salt repels. It matters not that my great grandma was human. My grandma was born of the sea like her father. It is rare but it happens.

When he asked me why I was staring at him that day I could not lie and said, “Your poetry is so beautiful and the sweetest of sweets. Will you write a poem for me, John Keats?”

My ability to speak poetically probably made him think I was human, but no it is just one of the few gifts being born of the sea and a small amount of human blood does. Many don’t like me for that and I know that they do not see me as one of their own completely which is why I attend no court or revelry.

He wrote me a poem, I gave him a shell. He wrote me another and I gave him that old silver bell. We exchanged gift after gift and spent hour upon hour by the pool. Oh how I missed him over the summer, I waited and waited for my fool.

That is the thing about Selkie especially those who are females. We fall for humans and mix with them much more than the males.

We become human easily if we find true love which we find in many ways. It is rare to find a selkie with no drop of human blood these days.

When he came back for his second year her worn a necklace of iron but always took it off when I was near.

 That year he struggled with his exam so I made a deal with the man. I would ensure he would pass, but the last lie he spoke to me was forever his last.

 He did not go home that winter or that summer. Many students began to wonder.

 You see I have never tried to Take him. I refused to let him be hurt because of my impulsive whim.

Maybe I am more human than I thought. Everyone said so but they forgot.

He said he would love me forever. I said the same and I knew then the bond I had to sever.

On the night of his graduation we stand in front of a flame. My pelt burns forever and I feel no shame.

We Selkie fall in love with humans more than others of our like. Now I cross the river just as human as my beloved Mike.

4

Mitt litið grasstra  (My little stem of grass)”  by @lasimo74allmyworld

Never start doodling in the Sunday afternoon just to pass some time. Because you can find yourself into a draperies mazes and curly black hair…

Jokes apart, yes, i started doodling a beautiful pic, a pic took at Wallander times, and it means MagnusTom,…young, blond, curly and radiant. And from that beauty here’s a very young Loki. A teen Loki. I loved the idea of he could have such curly hair, before the usual spiked- up hair in the movies, because it gives me the hint of the time that pass. Here Loki is the quiet, introvert, young prince,…far from all the hatred and awful things.

At this time he is only the litið grasstra, the little stem of grass of his beloved mother. My Loki story seems to be quite inspiring…

Anyway B-4 is gathering information on grief from Geordi without either of them really noticing

In case anyone was planning to ask me about it (which is unlikely, as I don’t think I’ve ever spoken about my love for To Kill a Mockingbird on here before, but just in case), I am not going to be reading Go Set a Watchman.

This isn’t because I can’t stand the thought of my beloved story being “ruined forever” or whatever sensationalist things people are saying about the new novel.  I’m not going to read it because I am absolutely sure that the publishers exploited Harper Lee to put this book out.

Harper Lee was very clear, for decades, that she had no interest in publishing another novel.  She could have polished and published Go Set a Watchman after it was apparent that To Kill a Mockingbird was a success and a classic, but she didn’t.  She hid the manuscript away in a safety deposit box instead.  Her publishers were begging her to write another novel ever since the success of To Kill a Mockingbird, and I highly doubt it’s a coincidence that Go Set a Watchman was announced just months after Alice Lee, Harper’s sister and lawyer, died.  It is possible that Harper Lee just happened to change her mind at age 89, right after her sister’s death, and having previously suffered a stroke?  Sure, but I doubt it.  I know there was an investigation into the possibility of coercion that turned up nothing, but I flat out don’t trust those results.  And above all, I can’t accept that Harper Lee, so meticulous in revising and editing To Kill a Mockingbird, would choose to release a completely unedited, unpolished first draft of the same work.  Especially given that she famously hated the publicity her first novel gave her.  Agreeing to let the publishers put out a second novel after her death?  That I could maybe see.  While she’s alive?  No.

Finally, even if the publication of this novel weren’t sketchy as hell, I just don’t have any interest.  Why would I want to read the unpolished, very different first draft of a story I enjoy as it is?  This is being called To Kill a Mockingbird’s sequel, but it really isn’t.  It’s more like an alternate universe with worse writing.  For one thing, the outcome of a very important plot point in To Kill a Mockingbird has the opposite outcome in Go Set a Watchman, and for another, Atticus Finch is a completely different character.

And I don’t say that because I can’t accept Atticus as anything other than flawless white Jesus.  All people have internalized prejudices.  All people have flaws.  But the Atticus who responds to being asked why he’s defending a black man with “I do my best to love everyone equally” is just not the same person as the Atticus who has such abhorrent views on black people that his own daughter compares him to Hitler.  Characters change between drafts.  Sometimes they become entirely different people, and that’s the case here.

Also, I’m just not interested in reading a story about the Finches that isn’t narrated by Scout.

So yeah.  There’s my two cents.

Not only is Mabel Pines a confident female character, but she’s a confident female character whose arc is never about tearing her down for daring to love herself. So many times, confident women only get stories about how they’re full of themselves and need to be taken down a notch (also, so many times, confidence is only written to co-exist with cruelty–the message is that you can only love yourself if you hate everyone else).

Every time there’s a storyline about Mabel’s insecurity, she ends up validated. Pacifica makes fun of her for being too silly? Her silliness is the only way they solve the mystery. Unicorn tells her she isn’t good enough? It’s because the unicorn is a lying jerk! She feels like she isn’t smart enough to play DD&MD? Her enthusiasm and creativity (plus Stan’s rule-breaking) totally save the day! She gets tricked into starting Weirdmageddon because she feels alone and afraid and not one single character blames her for it and once Dipper has helped her face her problems and convinced her she won’t be alone, she bursts out of the bubble certain that she and her friends can save the world! And they do! It comes down to the Stans in the end, but only because Mabel and Dipper got everyone there, led them and inspired them and reminded Stan and Ford what it’s like to work together.

Mabel’s coming-of-age arc is so well-constructed and nuanced and compassionate and it builds her up instead of tearing her down. It matters. She matters.

anonymous asked:

I really like your "Just Thought I’d Check In On My Beloved" story. You really nailed the characters. If you still take promps I'd like to see the reverse. Rose saying that to Ben, when she begin to warm to him. Maybe he's injuured, going to war (against Venice or Naples) or simply have a fight with his uncle. Your choice!

Thank you so much!! I have plans for injured Benvolio, already, but I also love the fighting with his uncle idea so I will try my hand at that one too!!

January 2017 Updates [Part 1]

Dangerous Seduction

  • Asuka Hino: Main Story, His PoV, Our Dangerous Date, Adults Only
  • Haruma Fujioka: Main Story, Our Dangerous Date 
  • And more! Be ready to be Seduced!

Era of Samurai: Code of Love

  • Saito’s Act II: Main Story, His PoV, Epilogue
  • Veiled Hearts -Hijikata & Takasugi-
  • Saito: On the Path of Love

After School Affairs

  • New Year’s Lucky Bag
  • Get a special 2017 exclusive New Year’s image
  • Hot Times in the Hot Tub PoVs

My Last First Kiss

  • Special Story: Paradise Blues
  • Season 3 A Dreamy Proposal PoV: Ichiya
  • Special Story: The Jealous Boyfriend: Ayato

Star-Crossed Myth

  • Gifts from Wishes SALE lasts until 1/9/2017 (JST)
  • Season 1: Krioff - Sequel, Sequel Epilogue, and Sequel His PoV
  • An Intoxicating Evening Between the Sheets
  • Carnivore or Herbivore? Two Dangerous Temptations
  • ~The Arrogant Lion and The Apathetic Goat~

Enchanted in the Moonlight

  • Miyabi’s Season 3 Sequel
  • Kiryu’s Season 3 Main Story and Epilogue
  • Eternal Kisses in the Moonlight
  • My Secret Nursing Method & Tipsy Kisses

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder

  • Kabuki Kiss
  • A Special Birthday with the King
  • Season 3 The Proposal: Shuichi
  • Season 3 Scattered Cards Epilogue: Eisuke
  • Season 3 His PoV: Ota
  • Season 3 His PoV: Luke

Our Two Bedroom Story

  • Three free stories
  • Two special anniversary stories
  • and one…?!

My Forged Wedding

  • Sub Story: Hot, Hungry Kisses -The Beginning-
  • Season 3 My Beloved Bride & Epilogue: Tamaki
  • Sub Story: A Kiss to Say I’m Sorry
  • Sub Story: Yamato’s Midnight Jealousy
  • Sub Story: Ren’s Midnight Blossoms

My Sweet Bodyguard

  • Where the Heart is: Mizuki
  • Where the Heart is: Katsuragi
  • Where the Heart is: Eiji
  • Where the Heart is: Makabe
November Updates - Part 1

Era of Samurai: Code of Love

  • Shinsaku Takasugi’s Hearts in Training & Love’s Command
  • Sanosuke Harada: On the Path of Love
  • Saito & Takasugi’s voiced stories

After School Affairs

  • Hot Times in the Hot Tub
  • Sera Moon and Yamamachi Diary
  • Yearbook Story 2nd Semester
  • …Plus more to come!

Butler Until Midnight

  • Master for a Day: Yuma
  • A Touching Christmas Part 1 & Part2

My Last First Kiss

  • Celebrating Ayato’s Season 3 stories
  • Three Special Stories coming your way☆
  • Special Story: The Jealous Boyfriend-Ichiya-
  • Special Story: Alone in the Nurse’s Office
  • Special Story: The Jealous Boyfriend-Riku-
  • Season 3 Bride-to-be: Ayato

Star-Crossed Myth

  • Leon, Scorpio & Zyglavis’ Main Stories, 5 Episodes free until 11/13
  • Season 1: Zyglavis’ Sequel, Sequel Epilogue, and Sequel His PoV
  • Special Story: An Autumn of Longing  ~Wishes~ & ~Punishments~
  • A Divine Autumn Special Set includes 2 special Autumn images

Enchanted in the Moonlight

  • Chikage and Kyoga’s Season 3 main stories & epilogues are coming
  • Special Story: Romantic Exploration -Eightfold Love-
  • Special Story: A poem from him -Kiryu-

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder

  • Scattered Cards: Mamoru
  • Scattered Cards Epilogue: Mamoru
  • Bound in Love: Ota
  • Eisuke and Soryu’s Secret Chat

Our Two Bedroom Story

  • A new character is coming up…Hinata Yayoi!
  • An exciting continuation of Tsumugu’s main story?
  • An Enchanted cameo?

My Forged Wedding

  • Season 3 My Beloved Bride & Epilogue: Akito
  • Sub Story: The Gift that is Aki
  • Sub Story: Before There Was You
  • Sub Story: Need Your Touch - A Hug Good Night -
  • Sub Story: Need Your Touch - A Kiss Good Morning -

My Sweet Bodyguard

  • London Calling Part Two: Mizuki
  • London Calling Part Two: Katsuragi
  • London Calling Part Two: Eiji
  • London Calling: Kenta Makabe

Yamamori Mika’s comment on the Margaret Survey (Mamura vs Shishio)

Thankyou to everyone who participated in the survey from yesterday! By the way, this was strictly a survey for Margaret’s 20th issue so it will not influence the conclusion.

Since I have already decided it’s conclusion (HnR) from long ago.

Credit: x

Thought I’d translate sensei’s comment for everyone. Though it’s nothing new (we already know Yamamori has already decided how to end her story), it’s good to remind everyone to be civil about who they like more. 

Cheers.

- J

anonymous asked:

Now I'm really curious about the broken penis story! Have you posted it before?

I AM GLAD YOU ASKED, ANON. 

You can read the story over on LJ, but I might as well reproduce it here. 

Gather round, my children. This is the story of the Broken Penis. I swear this is not an April Fool’s joke; it is entirely true, and it happened to me on April Fool’s Day, 2004. (The story, not the broken penis.)

You will have questions. I promise most of them will be answered if you read to the end, including the all important “How do you fracture an appendage which has no bone?” Just…keep reading.

Lo these many years ago I was a graduate student in the theatre. As part of my duties I served as a Graduate Teaching Assistant for the Intro To Theatre class, taken mostly by people who wanted to fulfill an Arts requirement. GTAs are assigned between 50 and 80 students in a class, and are responsible for grading papers and taking roll on mandatory-attendance days. 

There are always a handful of problem students — students who plagiarise, don’t turn in their work, or disrupt class. I had actually complained in my journal about one student, who hadn’t turned in any work or shown up on any of the mandatory-attendance days. I managed to notify him that we needed to talk, but didn’t hear from him for another week or so. 

On April 1st, he finally came to my office hours. I was prepared to be Stern and Firm, and told we needed to discuss the fact that at this point in the semester it would be impossible for him to get higher than a D in the class. I did ask him what was going on, and he asked if he could close the office door.

Technically this is a big no-no in higher ed, but he seemed anxious enough that I let him. He sat down heavily and told me that he’d suffered a serious injury, and it was affecting his health. He was on a lot of painkillers, and was also having emotional problems. 

“What happened?” I asked. 

“See, I fractured my penis,” he replied. 

A small part of my brain was occupied with wondering what possible polite response exists to that statement. The rest of it felt as if someone had taken off the top of my head and lightly smacked me right on the brain. All I could think was, must not look at it.

“Oh,” I said, feeling like an ass for telling him he was failing a course while he was walking around with a very important part of his anatomy nonfunctional.

“Yeah,” he said, and continued without prompting. Not only was he on painkillers, but soon after the aha, fracture, he walked in on his fiancee having sex with another man — impotence is a side effect of breaking your cock — and he was just plain having issues. 

I suggested a medical withdrawal, after delicately trying to inquire if he had a doctor’s note. He flipped out a little; he insisted he could complete the course, but I told him that it was not in my hands to decide — he’d have to speak to the professor. He seemed satisfied with that and left to go talk to her, and FAST AS I COULD I sent her an email swearing up and down that a boy with a broken penis was coming to talk to her and this was not an April Fool’s prank and please try not to giggle. And then I went and told this story to everyone I knew and also the entire internet, because, hey, how often does someone you know break their penis? (if you’re wondering, there are about 300 cases per year in the US.)

What is amusing is not so much our conversation, which I don’t recall much of over the haze of OMG BROKEN PENIS WHUT. It’s what came after. 

I wanted to confirm that a Penis Fracture was possible, since well, it hasn’t got a bone, has it? Not in humans anyway. I did some internet research, which left me scarred for life, and confirmed that it is the technical name for a situation in which the long ligaments that make up the penis SNAP IN HALF. It is a very painful injury, but it is also well worthy of lulz, and my girlfriend and I spent our entire lunch hour cracking each other up. Her initial response was, “Does he need a special sling?”

I make no apologies. 

See, the thing is, a fracture of the muscles in the penis can only occur when the penis is erect (thank you Google). I believe the website I found used the phrase “Vigorous sexual activity in unusual positions” to describe how a fracture generally occurs. If the penis slips out during intercourse with the woman on top, and she comes down hard on it, this can also cause a fracture. In fact, my colleague M knows a girl who not only broke her boyfriend’s penis but then, thinking he wasn’t really hurt, tried to make with the funny: “Well, sweetie, if it wasn’t so small this wouldn’t have happened!” 

Yeah, they’re not together anymore.

To return to the point, most men are embarrassed about how they got the injury, and tend to make excuses and tell lies. And these lies? Are even more hilarious. Because apparently the most common cover-up is “I slammed it in a door”. 

Now, I don’t know about you, but slamming your erection in a door kind of implies you were running around somewhere naked where doors were involved, and how could an unusual sexual position possibly be more embarrassing than that? 

Also popular, for god knows what reason, is “I closed a window on it”. And if you think slamming a door on your hard-on is unusual, what the hell were you doing sticking your cock out a window? 

I am telling you, and perhaps we were just tired grad students grabbing joy where we could, but this story kept us happy for days.

And it has a happy ending, of a sort (no sniggering) — he did eventually bring a doctor’s note and medical documentation of his condition, along with several make-up papers, and ended up getting a B in the class. I hope and trust that by now he is healed, and has learned his lesson about erections and windows. Or whatever. 

And that, my best beloveds, is the story of my student’s broken penis.

jazzthecat00  asked:

Only if you're interested in doing so, could you tell me WHY I might like Star Wars Rebels? I watched a bit, but it just seemed like a lot of action,,which I'm not super interested in. Is it worth watching for the characters as well (relationships, growth, that sort of thing)? Again, only if you want to talk about it, it's not your job to educate me. : ). Thanks either way...

I should probably start by saying that I have been a Star Wars fan for almost my entire life. Episode 4 came out when I was 5, so I grew up with it. I collected action figures and comic books. I dressed up my Barbies as Star Wars characters. My bike was an X-wing fighter, and so on. And this was in the days before VHS tapes even existed, right? I couldn’t even watch it whenever I wanted to, which seems unimaginable now!

Even then, my play focused on the relationships between the characters. My action figures and Barbies acted out the fanfics in my head, and there was almost always a romantic plot involved. I started writing my stories down when I was 11, in little notebooks in pencil. It was all shippy and character-driven stuff. Hell, I shipped Luke/Leia even after I found out they were twins. Looking back, it’s clear now that I saw what I wanted to see in Star Wars. Where others saw lightsaber duels and space battles, I saw human beings, characters I grew to care deeply about.

When I was in college, the Expanded Universe books started coming out, and I devoured them, but they weren’t quite what I wanted. I wanted stories that focused on my beloved characters, stories that explored their development as people and their relationships with each other. And to be honest, I didn’t get much of that in the canon. For example, I shipped Luke/Mara, hard. And when the professionally written fanfic didn’t give me what I wanted, I started writing my own, as I’d done after Return of the Jedi all those years before.

By the time the prequels came out, I had internet access and discovered online fanfic, and OH MY GOD. There were thousands of people who felt the way I did about Star Wars, who also found the stories written by and for the fanboys not completely satisfying. Who wanted to see these characters actually deal with the cruelty and magic of the universe they live in, to have deep friendships, to fall in and out of love, and yes, to fuck each other.

You know that graphic of an iceberg that labels the little part sticking up out of the water as “the show” and the giant block of ice under the water as “the fandom”? That’s true about every fandom, but it’s really, really true about the Star Wars fandom. You can, as those of us who create fanworks so often do, start with the canon and go so much deeper. You can pull out a great deal of emotional subtext. You can create ships out of whole cloth. You can do anything.

So now, back to Rebels. This is a time period that I have always been curious about, for one thing—those 20 mysterious years between the fall of the Republic and Episode 4. This show is finally going there. And it’s doing it with characters that, for me, have so much potential for emotional intensity.

Kanan Jarrus was a 14-year-old Jedi padawan when Order 66 happened. His master sacrificed herself to give him a chance to escape, and he ran, with nothing. He had nothing, only a lifetime of living a cloistered, structured life in the Jedi Order, and he suddenly had to fend for himself in a hostile universe. He did anything and everything to survive, and oh god, after spending so much time reading and writing Qui/Obi fic that explored the lives of Old Republic Jedi, that just devastates me. He now has to survive in a world where being a Jedi is a death sentence.And then he meets Hera, a well-trained and resourceful Twi’lek who has, for reasons we haven’t yet learned, dedicated her life to fighting the Empire and starting a rebellion. And the other characters have their own tragic pasts: Zeb, whose entire species was wiped out by the Empire; Sabine, a super-smart teenage munitions expert whose family was also killed by the Empire; and Ezra, a Force-sensitive 14-year-old orphan who becomes Kanan’s padawan.

All of the characters are so fucking damaged and angry and determined, and are doing their best to fight an unimaginably powerful galaxy-wide power, just because they have nothing left to lose. They find family in each other, and comfort, and love and belonging, in a universe where that is increasingly rare.

Okay, give me a moment: I’m tearing up here.

And speaking of tearing up, there have been so many moments in the series so far where I’ve had tears rolling down my face.  Like the moment when Ezra accepts Kanan’s offer to learn the Force (echoes of Luke coming back to Obi-Wan – “I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like my father”).

Or the moment when Bail Organa kneels in front of R2 in the corridor of his ship, in the exact same position Leia would record a message for Obi-Wan five years later.

Or the moment when Kanan comes to terms with the fact that he is going to have to teach Ezra to be a Jedi, even though he never completed his own training and has no idea what it means to be a Jedi in this new universe.

Or just knowing that Kanan loves Hera so much that he will follow her to the ends of the galaxy, even though she’s made it clear that her passion is to fight the Empire and that there isn’t room for anything else.

I don’t know what else I might be able to say to convince a Star Wars fan that they should watch this show. I just know that, for me, this show has so much potential to wreck me and make me feel and laugh and love and cry. It already has. And hell, a lot of that is in my head, coming from all the other headcanon I have from decades of loving Star Wars. It’s building on feels that I have been feeling for a long time. It’s connecting to the Star Wars that I’ve experienced, and I know that may be totally different for others. I don’t quite know how to explain it, and I wish I did. When you love something this hard, you want to share it, you know?

One more thing I’ll add is that there is a prequel novel to Rebels called A New Dawn that does a fantastic job of introducing Kanan and Hera.

It also gives a stark picture of what the first rebels were really up against. I can’t wait to see how we’re going to get from these humble beginnings to the full-blown rebel alliance we see in Episodes 4-6.

And in the meantime, I’m going to write some fic of my own. :-)