my baby has gone to a new home

Imagine

Baby Boy

It’s our first night home tonight with our new baby boy. I was nervous to leave the hospital, I was nervous because I wouldn’t have a nurse there if I had any questions. I was all of my own. Except for having Harry. He’s been beautiful. I’ve been a little overwhelmed the past few days and he has taken on the roll of daddy perfectly. His reassurance throughout all of my moments of doubt have helped me pick myself back up and get on with it.

Having gone through quite a difficult and very long labour I am still in a lot of pain but my little boy needs me so I am just getting on with it and giving him all the love that I can.

He’s so tiny and so precious. He defiantly has Harry’s eyes and although he only has a little bit of hair, I think he looks like a spitting image of Harry (minus the dimples).

He sleeps regularly and we already seem to have a little routine going. He feeds well, sometimes he plays around a little and I don’t think he is actually hungry, I think he’s looking for comfort. It’s still early days so we’re just trying to work him out.

I was woken up by Archer’s little squeaky cries. I laid there for a moment, hoping that he would settle so that I could selfishly get some more sleep but he didn’t. I felt Harry’s arm realise from my waist as he rolled over, climbing out of bed and walking over to the bassinet.

“Hey little man” Harry’s sleep voice spoke. “Shhh it’s okay” he softly spoke as he picked Archer up, patting him in hopes of calming him down a little. I smiled at the sight in front of me. My miracle baby and my angel husband. Harry was so gentle and patient with Archer, always softly touching him or stroking his face to put him to sleep.

Harry walked over the the bed, sitting down on the edge, Archer’s cries now silenced as he stared up at his adoring dad. “I can’t believe his ours Harry” I spoke, sitting up. “Neither can I. I’m so proud of you baby. You took such good care of him when he was inside of you and now you’re going to be even better at taking care of him as he grows. You’ve done so well” he smiled, his eyes moving from Archer to me. “I love you” I smiled. “I love you a million times more” he spoke, leaning over to kiss me.

“I think someone’s hungry mummy” Harry spoke and Archer began crying again. I looked to to clock, seeing that it was 2:15am before speaking, “So do I” I said. I got out of bed, moving to stand in front of Harry and a crying Archer. “Come here baby” I quietly spoke, taking Archer’s wriggling body from Harry’s arm.

“Go back to sleep baby, I’ve got this” I told Harry. “Are sure?” Harry asked. “I’m sure Harry. I need to figure this one out on my own. Me and this little guy need to figure each other out a little more and I wanna try to do this on my own.” I spoke, telling Harry how I felt. “Okay sweetheart, call for me if you need anything at all. You’ll be fine though, you’re a natural at this whole mothering thing” he smiled up at me.

I leaned down, giving Harry a sweet kiss before leaving him to go back to sleep as Archer and I went into his nursery just down the hall where we successfully completed out first middle of the night feed at home on our own.

a thank you. photo just posted by @ringerxo on twitter: “Opening your new #ArtOfAsking copy, reading a random passage, and just giving it a kiss. Stunning.”

dear @ringerxo….i cannot thank you enough for tweeting this random (?) page at this time and i will tell you why.

i am in a cafe/bar/restaurant with a newborn baby in a wrap on my chest writing in my journal and checking my twitter feed. i spent the day at home in my old apartment; neil has gone off to new york and i’ve been alone today…changing diapers (9, i think), and breastfeeding, and sitting on my couch, and receiving random visiting friends, and (trying to) do a couple of conference and business calls while the baby slept, and putting in a load of laundry, which felt like an accomplishment, and eating a banana, and a bunch of cashews, and getting to 8:30 and realizing I was hungry and that i wanted to do what i always do when i’m at home alone in my apartment at the end of day of random tasks.

which is to go to a cafe/bar/restaurant and order a beer and some food and write in my journal and check my twitter feed.

and i thought

holy shit

i have a baby

i don’t know if you’re allowed to do that.

like: is that a Thing People Do?

and i thought
can you google “can you go into cafe/bar/restaurant alone with a newborn baby in a wrap” ?

and then i was like: probably not.

and i sat there trying to figure out how people know what you’re allowed to do when you can’t directly google it. and then i thought, wait a minute, i’m the kind of person who doesn’t do what you’re allowed to do and i just do it and then it’s a Thing People Do because I Just Did It and i’m technically People.

and i realized i was thinking that and that thinking that is what makes life bearable, when you realize you can just Do Things.

and so here i am

in a cafe/bar/restaurant with a newborn baby in a wrap on my chest writing in my journal and checking my phone with a beer and some mashed potatoes and the baby is sleeping and i’m really enjoying myself.

so thank you for posting this page,

it’s important to be reminded that you can do anything you want.

sometimes i forget.