my ats

anonymous asked:

So I met this hot girl in my local store and we got talking, then started dating. On our second date she asked if we could drive to the cliff car park where later she kissed me down, paying close attention to my neck and nipples. By the time she got down I was dripping wet. She ate my pussy so good I came four damn times n had me screaming for more. I returned the favour in the back seat of course, she's meeting me tomorrow for date three 😈

not to be racist to myself but like if I had to write corny poetry about being brown it wouldn’t be romantic and mention cardamom and milk and saffron and bindis and the wafting smell of chai or that desi poc of color shit it would go like:

need a lawnmower 2 shave my legs

ate curry at school which stank so everyone threw eggs

need nose job and buccal fat reduction

watching old white movies w brownface, Bhowani Junction 

being asked by relatives to get arranged married

oh shit I hate cooking so I spilled the roti I carried

after acne my brown skin got hyperpigmented

now after being brown for 20 years I feel demented

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Wow what a day!! A little rough but I did a lot that I can be proud of !!!
• This morning I cleaned my apartment, made my bed, made breakfast, finished reading for class, and took my PRN because I was feeling anxious which is a big deal for me because I have a hard time taking my regular meds much less admitting to myself that I need extra help from my PRN
• I stayed engaged in classes
• I was emotionally honest and let myself ride my emotions rather than try to control them
• I finally did my nails
• I ate lunch and snack even though both were really hard
• I asked my super for my sink to be fixed and it was and I have a tap that works properly now and that felt very adult of me
• I just took off my makeup and moisturized and am planning dinner and I feel much more ok than I did at the start of the day which is really all I can ask for

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I mean, I did take them on their walks. I’m not a complete monster. Jazz takes about 2 minutes to eat her meals and Bowie, no exaggeration, takes all day. It takes some juggling to give Bowie enough hanging out time with his food without Jazz swooping in to snarf it all down. But my special little shit ate his food while Jazz and I were on our evening walk. Nearly a miracle.

Also, on our evening walk, Jazz and I found a field of bruised apples and blue corn tortilla chips.

nalaluna  asked:

OMG I don't think I've laughed so much as I did tonight in AGES! After a long working day, as I ate my salad this afternoon (this terrifying, tasteless leaf that some dark soulless monsters makes us believe it to be the path to a healthier existence) I never expected a word to have such a tremendous repercussion on tumblr. I feel I own you this: *drums in the background* I am the salad-sending anon! I hope these words give you some peace haha I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not!

OH. MY GOD. YOU!!!!!! OF ALL PEOPLE!!

anonymous asked:

Hey E! I think tumblr probably ate my ask, but it was about the Kathy Griffin jacket tweet. I was really amused by the idea of Harry's missus "borrowing" his jackets when he wasn't around or to run to the grocery store. She always treats them well but every so often he'll push his hands in his pockets and find a cough drop or a hair band he knows isn't his or a ring she'd misplaced days ago. or she gets papped in one and he texts her the photo and like "explain" or "mine innit?"

I think tumblr might have eaten the ask! It sounds kinda familiar, but out of all the ones left for me to do, this one isn’t there. But yes, that would totally be a regular occurrence – finding leftover evidence of her ‘theft’, or worse, *not* finding something that he KNOWS he left in there that she probably took out at some point along the way. 

Ok so my mom woke up this morning, and she told me about the dream she had last night. In her dream my bob (that’s my grandfather who passed away) was talking to my mom. My mom asked “What are you doing for Thanksgiving”, and he said “Tomorrow?”…this is all she really remembered from the dream. WELL…this didn’t really seem odd until my gram (my bob’s wife aka my grandmother) called my mom this afternoon. They were just chatting, and she told my mom “You’ll never guess what I had for breakfast at this hospital today. I had turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes!”…how wild is that? Like my gram basically ate a Thanksgiving meal for breakfast today, the morning after my bob came to my mom in her dream and said Thanksgiving is tomorrow (which would be the morning my gram ate Thanksgiving dinner for breakfast)…and it’s not even near Thanksgiving time! 

It’s been such a good weekend. Yesterday Joshua and I spent the whole day out and about and then with friends, and then today we spent it at home with family and friends. I also ate my little heart out the whole weekend even using the pasta rollers Joshua got me for an impromptu fancy dinner. Oh yeah, and liver pate is my new obsession

cabeswatr  asked:

Tumblr ate my last one, i think, so I'm gonna try again! ☄ 🌈 ❄️ and 🍎


I hope it’s okay if I copy and paste~ And I totally understand, I feel like that happens to my messages a lot too? ;o; 

1) Yes!! I have seen a few shooting stars in my lifetime, mostly when I was younger… but I was lucky enough to see the meteor shower last year too! It was incredible. 

2) My favorite color… uhhg, it’s so difficult to pick just one! I’ve always resonated most with pinks… Either bubblegum pink, or ultrabright magenta are probably my top favorite colors! Bright turquoise and cerulean blue are very, very close seconds, followed by all greens, especially bright spring greens that look like fresh seedlings after rain! And then there’s ultraviolet, especially when it shows up in rare orchids…. oh yeah. Good stuff right there…. fourth place seems so rude??

3) Favorite Winter Sport… Heheheh, this question makes me laugh because I’m horribly unathletic and uncoordinated. Hiking is just about the only thing I can manage to do well ;-;“ But I do love sledding and going down a rad snowy hill in an intertube or toboggan (I cannot spell, I’m so sorry)!! Hell yeah good times <3 <3

4) Favorite Fruit: Blueberries!!! And pomegranates, naturally.  I also love bananas, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and apples especially, but I cannot digest most of them, unfortunately. ;_; Thank you so much for taking the time to send this!

anonymous asked:

i feel like i see life through an obscured lens. i want to know if i will ever find clarity and stop the self sabotage. i offer dead rabbits wearing masks, nice smelling socks that my dryer ate, and all of the time ive spent on arbitrary things like feelings and old people. may i get a fortune?

YOUR FORTUNE: WHEN SEA IS FOGGY LOOK NOT FOR THE PATH BUT FOR A LIGHTHOUSE 

Even though it’s late for 11:11 wish I still wish for my ate’s peace of mind and genuine happiness. I hate seeing her like this, I hate watching cry until she falls asleep, I hate seeing her antagonizing herself. Tangina sobra na tlalaga yung galit ko sa pumepeste sa kanya. I love her so much na minsan ang sakit ng nakikita ko siyang ganito. She always give way for somebody else palagi nalang siya yung nagpaparaya and shit pero ba’t ganon pa din? Napepeste pa din siya na akala mo naman ang perpekto nila diba? Tangina anobayan ang unfair naman ng mundo. Alam mo yung sana lahat ng sakit niya emotionally malipat nalang sakin kasi tangina pag nakikita ko siyang umiiyak mas pa yung nararamdaman ko. Ayoko ng feeling na ganto yung parang gusto ko ng pumatay ng tao sa sobrang galit shet tangina leche ang init na ng ulo ko konting konti nalang masusugod ko na yung hayop na yon sa Cavite at patikimin sakanila yung sinasabi nilang “hindi sasantuhin” putangina bantayan niya sana muna bayag ng jowa niya bago niya insultohin ate ko kasi wala siyang kaalam alam sa pinagsasabi niyang gaga siya jusq pls gusto ko manapak promise tangina niyo mga toxic kayo sa buhay namin 

Yoi episode 10: My crops are watered, my skin is clear, world peace is attained, the earth is not poluted anymo-

*yoi episode 11 happens*

MY CROPS ARE BURNING THE WORLD IS ON FIRE NOTHING IS OKAY ABORT MISSION

 I REPEAT NOTHING IS OK ABORT MISSION

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What I love about Press Puns™️ is that you can actually see the exact moment Christen is done af