I think about the future too much honestly
Sometimes i feel like disappearing is the only way i can actually get away from my anxieties
It’s not that im sad, im just really really scared
And i dont know what to do about it
Question time: whenever I allude to being an MLP fan (though I STILL need to catch up on S4), you guys don’t judge me, do you? I mean, I know I’m not what one would call a “brony” (for one thing, I lack a Y chromosome), but I do worry irrationally whenever I see friends of mine rail against the assholes in the community and go “fuck bronies”. I know you guys don’t mean me, but the anxiety gets the better of me sometimes, you know?
it is so weird when one of my parents makes a post on facebook that I have an opinion on. Not a dumb post, my parent’s aren’t really like that, but an intelligent post. That I want to make an intelligent comment on.
and so I’m typing and I wonder
‘is this good enough, is this smart enough?’
'will they think I am a smart person even if they don’t agree with me? If their opinions are different, will they subordinate me?’
'do they think it’s weird their daughter who once barfed all over them and stuff would have adult opinions on things?’
'do they think it’s cute or think I am a child and will they go 'that’s nice dear’ and hush me up like they did so many times in the past?’
'am I just babbling to them? Do they see me as fourteen and running my mouth off about useless things that don’t matter?’
'do they think my ideas are legitimate or worth thinking about?’
'or just maybe their idiot daughter with opinions and ideas if they don’t get what I mean or don’t agree’
'can they just end the discussion on authority of being my parents and not give me the time of day?’
'do they even care what I think, when they talk to me half of the time the conversation is future future future school future work school future and do they even know or care about any other thoughts or opinions I may have unrelated to such topics?’