mv:-deja-vu

Everybody I Love You
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Everybody I Love You

Know you got to run,
Know you got to hide
Still there is a great life
Lingerin’ deep within your eyes.

Open up, open up, baby let me in.

You expect for me to love you
When you hate yourself, my friend.

Everybody, I love you
Everybody, I do
Though your heart is in anger
I need your love to get through
When I tell you I love you
You can believe that it’s true

Everybody, I love you
Everybody, I do.

I’ve only ever had one deja vu moment, and that was in 11th grade. I was in math class doing math work for once, lol, and I had just looked at the clock, and it says it’s 9:50 am. I finished two problems, and spend the next fifteen minutes completing the third problem (I was incredibly slow at math), and after I finish it, this kid bursts through the door of the classroom, jokingly shouting “This is bullshit!” in order to get a few laughs out of everyone.

I laugh, and look back at the clock, and it’s 9:50 am. I was incredibly confused, because it’s supposed to be 10:05, and I looked back at my math packet thinking I was just a little fast at the time, but then I saw that all of my answers, and all of my work was gone. Nothing was filled in, but I knew what the answers were, and then I remembered about my classmate coming through the doors. He wasn’t in the classroom, so I waited the fifteen minutes, and sure enough he comes bursting through the door shouting “This is bullshit!” I didn’t laugh, I was too weirded out to laugh.

Have you ever experienced a glitch in the matrix? A glitch in the matrix is an unexplainable phenomenon that has to do with the brain pretty much malfunctioning. This can be anything from déjà vu, hearing unexplained voices or seeing obscure or out of place things.

I have.

I was at home with my fiancé watching him play gtaV and I was on my phone playing around. I suddenly looked up and I did not recognize my surroundings. I had no idea where I was or who I was. I couldn’t even recall what I did for a living or what my parents names were. My fiancé must have noticed I was acting strange because he turned around and asked me a question that I could not understand. I had no idea who the man talking to me was. I glanced over at the window sill and saw a picture of him proposing to me so I figured he must be my significant other. This feeling didn’t wear off for what seemed like hours. I tried to think of any logical reason why this would be happening and my first thought was bone chilling. I thought that I was dead and what happens after you die is you are “stuck” in the moment you died with absolutely no memory. I convinced myself I was in hell.

Once I regained memory my fiancé told me that I had no idea where I was or who he was for a full 30 minutes. By far the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me.

Sometimes I feel so alone,
I just don’t know,
Feels like I’ve been down this road before.
So lonely and cold.
It’s like something takes over me,
Soon as I go home and close the door.
Kinda feels like deja vu.
I wanna get away from this place I do.
But I can’t and I won’t say I tried but I know that’s a lie cause I don’t
And why? I just don’t know…
—  Eminem-Deja Vu