mutant swan

Let’s take a look at my ships, shall we?

An alcoholic, bisexual squirrel X an angel who loves bees and cheeseburgers.

A moose with a catchphrase (”so get this”) X a short angel who has the kielbasa you ordered.

A super-solider with a bigger heart than a blue whale X his creator’s son, with a metal heart.

 A teenage, nerdy spider X the product of an avocado having sex with an older avocado.

A boy who turns into a giant, naked cannibal X a horse.

The child of Snow White and Price charming, who has a son, a gun and a yellow beetle car X a one handed pirate with a drinking problem.  

A boy with two mothers, a dead father and a bigger family than all the angels in heaven X his great-grandfather’s right hand man.

A boy with a lightning bolt scar on his forehead X a guy he saw get murdered by the man who betrayed his parents.

A dog X a werewolf.

A twelve/thirteen year old boy with a tree hat X an Illuminati dorito  

A giant nerdy, turtle who knows ninjutsu X his brother’s best friend who usually wears a hockey mask and/or face paint.

And let’s not forget:

The Easter Bunny X the popular Winter Spirit that nips at people’s noses.  


People: Fallout 4 sucks.

Me: I just had Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. jump off the balcony of the Old State House and fight off a giant mutant swan at the Boston Public Garden in a dapper 3-piece suit all while searching for his son with a fucking robot detective and zombie colonial. This is the best game of all fucking time.