mutant snowmen

arguably the most amusing thing I’ve written today:

“It turned out that human young had a ritual that involved creating effigies out of frozen condensation and then granting them names. Whether this was purely symbolic or whether some diabolical human power would later bring these effigies to life to do their organic masters’ bidding remained to be seen.”


So this next song is my absolute favorite and it has nothing to do with the fact that Elsa raps in it. It’s presumably called ‘Cool with Me’ and of course plays on Kristen’s love of puns and double-meanings since this is the song that takes place where the For the First Time reprise is, when Anna confronts Elsa in the castle. But in this version of the film, Elsa is the villainess Snow Queen and Anna is at the palace because Elsa has kidnapped her during her wedding ('Life’s too Short’ which is on the deluxe soundtrack was also another song meant for this scene). Anna gets a bolt of ice in the heart, but in this version, Elsa does it on purpose. Anyway, this song is absolutely amazing and would play out beautifully on the stage so story issues aside, I would so love to see it be reworked and added to the Broadway musical. It just has to be heard to be believed. And oh, did I mention Elsa raps in it?

(Elsa opens the palace door to greet Anna)
E: So what’s new? How are you?
A: Well I’m mad you decided to kidnap –
E: Yeah, sorry 'bout that.
E: How is town? A: Okay.
E: How’s my crown? A: Hey!
A: Is that what this is all about?
E: Let’s have a chat!

E: I wanna make peace between you and me A: Oh yeah?
A: You got a funny way of showin’ it!
A: I invite you to my wedding E: And I came, are you forgetting?
A: Then you trash the church and freeze the guests and ruin it!

E: You’re not here so we can have a fight
E: Air our dirty laundry and spit out our spite
E: Oh no, forget the tension, there’s no need for descension you see –
E: I wanna make you cool with me

(Elsa brings Anna into the palace, Anna is in awe of Elsa’s growing power)

E: Yes, I know, have some snow
A: No, thanks, I should be getting back –
E: I think you should stay (slams door shut) A: (spoken) Elsa?!
E: Elsa’s dead, now instead, you’ll address me as the Snow Queen A: (spoken) Nah, no way!
E: I got a gift, I’m a superstar A: (spoken) And your point is?
E: That people should revere me!
A: Yes, you’re really quite the showman with these mean and mutant snowmen –
E: Hey, if no one wants to love me, they can FEAR me!

E: You’re not here so you can be afraid
E: I want you to begin with all the friends I’ve made
E: Okay, you’re gonna love’m, you’ll become one of 'em, you’ll see
E: You’re gonna be cool with me

E: Svensen is cool with me, Jensen is cool with me. Jorgen and Fjorgen and Bjoergen is cool with me. Gunthar and Gunnar think I’m okay. Diedrich and Friedrich and Jose. And Olaf’s my first one, he’s kind of my worst one (O: I have a perfect physique!) I find jobs that’ll suit him and always include him and NOBODY calls him a freak.

E: We’ve been falling out for way too long
E: So let’s forget I’m right and forget you’re wrong
E: Okay! Let’s try forgivin’, maybe we could live in – harmony
E: We could really have a ton of fun
E: If you could just chill out! and say what’s done is done
E: Okay! Let’s not be bitter and that’s why I am liter-ally
E: Gonna make you cool with me!

(Elsa intentionally shoots a bolt of ice into Anna’s heart so she can feel what Elsa feels. Olaf takes Anna into her chamber)

E: Poor pathetic little perfect queen
E: Didn’t think your sis could be ever this mean
E: Now you’re on your own and you’re gonna feel alone as can be

E: Cool with me, cool with me

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