mustache money

An accurate description of every FAHC aesthetic post (including my own)
  • Geoff: liquor, money, mustache, tattoos.
  • Jack: floral print, red hair, planes.
  • Ryan: skulls, blood, varying weapons, Diet Coke.
  • Gavin: Union Jack, gold, money, "golden boy."
  • Michael: bruised knuckles, bloody nose, curly hair, freckles.
  • Jeremy: purple/orange, cowboy hats, sunglasses, gymnastics.
  • Ray: purple, sniper, weed.
  • Bonus!
  • Lindsay: pink, red, cats.
  • Mica: purple(!)
  • Meg: knives, underwear, red, guns.
A Little Lesson in Pretty Presents

Authors’ Note: Happy Sunday and Happy Father’s Day, fabulous readers!!! We couldn’t let the day pass without paying a visit to our favorite Papi and his  muñequita. Take a little trip with us time before the twins were born. See Violetta wanting to do something nice for her father… and Rafael’s reaction. Special shout out to @yourtropegirl, Violetta’s number one fan!!! @vintagemichelle91 and I hope that you all enjoy!!!

          “Well this is a surprise!”

           Leaving his desk and dropping his yellow legal pad, Rafael rushed to the doorway to greet his girls. Natalia glowed, her baby bump just visible under the flowing lavender top, her cheeks still kissed by their time in the Hamptons. Savoring her taste for a few seconds, her lips mingling with his, he soon turned his attention to Violetta.

           And right away he noticed her pout.

           “Muñequita?” he asked. “Why do you have such a sad face?”

           His daughter stayed silent as he slipped to his knees and took her into his arms. Violetta returned his hug, but her weak embrace did absolutely nothing to put his mind at ease.

           “What’s going on?” he asked, looking up at Natalia.

           “Your daughter and I were shopping,” she said.

           “My daughter?” he asked. “Should that make me nervous?”

           “Well…”

           When she failed to finish the thought, he saw a small plastic bag poking out of Natalia’s purse and turned his glance back to Violetta.

           “Is that something for me?” he asked with a smirk.

           “Sweet pea?” Natalia started. “You said that Papi needed to know.”

           Worriedly, his eyes flickered between them. What did he need to be aware of? Was there a repeat of the Christmas incident when Violetta went wandering in search of her hippo? He made a mental note that if that was the case, he would keep calm this time around and not send her into tears with ill-chosen words. Waiting, wondering what else it might be, Violetta finally sucked in a deep breath and rolled her eyes before extending one small hand towards her mother.

           “Okay, Mami,” Violetta said. “I show him.”

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In the late 1980s, at the height of his Magnum P.I. fame, Selleck used his professional mustache money to purchase a secluded 63-acre ranch. After installing the standard celebrity tennis court and helicopter pad, Selleck cut out a little patch of land for his secret passion project: becoming an avocado farmer. He tends to the 20-acre avocado farm in his backyard himself, and cultivating avocados from flower to disappointing fruit is a point of pride for Selleck, who had commented how “sexual” the process of seeing the flowers and bees getting all freaky is. He’ll also let anyone know that his anti-pears are much better than those of Jamie Foxx, who’s his next-acre neighbor and chief avocado rival.

So when California was hit with a miserable drought in recent years, Selleck had to make sure it didn’t affect his precious, precious avocados. In order to bypass water use limits, he had a tanker truck drive to a fire hydrant in another district and steal water from the town. This happened over a dozen times before anyone noticed. Ultimately, his wretched water thievery was found out by the townsfolk, and Selleck was fined $21,000 for the contraband liquid – which is still a good deal, considering what LA people pay for bottled water. That money was immediately put to good use paying the private investigator they hired for this whodunit, whom they owed a whopping $22,000 for figuring out it was Magnum on the farm with the avocados.

That seems like a lot of hassle for a bunch of weird fruit. But here’s the kicker: Tom Selleck doesn’t even like avocados. “They don’t look right,” he said in an interview, adding that “honesty, they make me gag." 

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