must be reality

Perhaps the greatest faculty our minds possess is the ability to cope with pain. Classic thinking teaches us of the four doors of the mind, which everyone moves through according to their need.

First is the door of sleep. Sleep offers us a retreat from the world and all its pain. Sleep marks passing time, giving us distance from the things that have hurt us. When a person is wounded they will often fall unconscious. Similarly, someone who hears traumatic news will often swoon or faint. This is the mind’s way of protecting itself from pain by stepping through the first door.

Second is the door of forgetting. Some wounds are too deep to heal, or too deep to heal quickly. In addition, many memories are simply painful, and there is no healing to be done. The saying ‘time heals all wounds’ is false. Time heals most wounds. The rest are hidden behind this door.

Third is the door of madness. There are times when the mind is dealt such a blow it hides itself in insanity. While this may not seem beneficial, it is. There are times when reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind.

Last is the door of death. The final resort. Nothing can hurt us after we are dead, or so we have been told.

The best advice I have ever received is
“Find people who are not ashamed to sing in the shower.”
—  they’ll never be ashamed of you // bluestruckholly
Gemini: Reality vs Fantasy

1. Fantasy: “Don’t date a Gemini or even give them a chance, they are so heartless.”

Reality: A Gemini is actually bawling and dying on the inside, all because they want a chance with you but you’re not willing to cooperate.

2. Fantasy: “Gemini’s are two-faced and fake..”

Reality: They aren’t two-faced or fake, they just know how to turn certain attitudes on and off for certain situations and can adjust to their surroundings easily.

3. Fantasy: “Why must Gemini’s be so selfish.”

Reality: They are far from selfish, they’re just not willing to give and give to any and everyone as freely. Being used and abused is something a Gemini will not tolerate.

4. Fantasy: “Gemini’s are so childish.”

Reality: They are just super jolly, through both the pain and pleasure. Embrace the youthfulness of a Gemini, it’s a quality many can’t possess.

5. Fantasy: “Gemini’s overreact over the littlest things.”

Reality: We’re not overreacting, we’re just seeing and spotting the things you don’t see. We pay close attention to detail.

Shortly before Remus Lupin’s fifth birthday, as he slept peacefully in his bed, Fenrir Greyback forced open the boy’s window and attacked him.

Remus Lupin’s full bio, Pottermore.

This is a disturbing bit of information. A lot is said with so little, as is perhaps Jo’s hallmark, but imagine the implications here.

At this particular time, Remus is four years old. He is at the age where many children are sent to attend preschool, and he is able to finally play outside by himself, to eat his own food at the table without any help, and is highly intrigued by humor and makes “poo-poo” jokes just to be daring and self-confident–because he can, because he’s a big kid now. He’s at an age where he is less a toddler and more a true child. He’s more adventurous and daring, and begins to explore his own personality. Remus is a happy child who probably giggles a lot and jumps on the bed just because Daddy said no.

Many children do not remember things before their third or fourth birthday, but Remus is nearing five years old. Whether or not he would have remembered this event in it’s entirety, the event would have been lasting in his mind and Remus would be left with a glaring image that is neither complete truth nor total lie. For Remus, this event was almost surely the “beginning of his life.” In the strange way none of us remember anything before this breakaway point and “none of it happened,” Remus probably does not remember anything before this attack. This was both the literal and figurative birth of Remus Lupin, werewolf.

Moreover, the nature of the attack is clearly hinted at and the potential horror is astounding. Werewolves don’t force open windows. Paws cannot force open windows. This means that Fenrir Greyback had to have entered the Lupin household before moonrise, just prior to his transformation. He did it silently, because Remus fails to grasp at such a young age that the attack was purposeful. He wasn’t scared until the attack itself. But the noise level is irrelevant, because even if there was silence before once the moon rose it wouldn’t have mattered. Four-year-old Remus would be trapped in his  bedroom watching a man transform into a murderous beast right in front of him, and although he screams as loud as he can if Fenrir had time to pry open the window he probably had time to block the door. Lyall can’t get to his son in time, whatever happened. And that kind of trauma is lasting. Whenever Remus goes to sleep now, he is terrified of the memory. He is plagued with nightmares. He is so sick because he’s so small, and he can’t possibly understand why.

Until it happens. Until Remus becomes the thing that haunted his dreams for a month, and nothing can fix that. Much of our personality is formed in these tender years, and the psychological impact of the attack would actually continue to affect Remus for the rest of his life. Not just physically, but psychologically, as well. More than nightmares and new fears, Remus must deal with the new reality of his parents constantly looking tired, constantly worrying, constantly moving around, constantly lying. And Remus can’t help but think it’s his fault, because he’s the sick one. If he wasn’t sick, everything would be better.

That one sentence in the expanse of Remus’ bio is as descriptive as much of the remaining text. And there’s something to be said in the end that Remus’ boggart was not Fenrir. It was not fear of the event that tormented him in childhood, but of his own lack of control during his loss of control. Whatever else the event could have continued to do to him, it didn’t dominate him. Being a werewolf was Remus’ life, of course. Everything he did came through that filter. But he did not hate Fenrir for what he was. He says that he pitied the man who bit him at first, knowing how it felt to transform. But Remus never openly hates Fenrir. He hates that he himself is a werewolf more than he hates the man who made him so, and that’s a huge sign of internal character. That’s who Remus really is when we cut through layers of stigma and self hate. 

replaying BBS0.2 and I’m just now realizing that when it zooms in on Ven during the trio scene, his eyes. actually. move. a couple times. it’s super subtle and I probably only noticed this time because I was sitting right in front of my tv BUT???

I thought it was strange enough that his eyes were open in the first place if the illusion was just representing his physical self as Aqua remembered him last (like Terra) bECAUSE HIS EYES HAVE NOT OPENED SINCE HE WENT TO SLEEP




Arthur Miller on his 1968 play “The Price”. Reminds me of a Zola quote, “if you take the truth and bury it, it can’t but grow.” Reality must be reckoned with the past does not disappear because we want it to. #ThePriceBway

Science Vs Reality (Part 6)

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

Pairing: Mad Sweeney X Reader

Word Count: 3600

Warnings: (Explicit 18+) Under the table and under the belt 

-Part 1- -Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 5- -Part 6- -Part 7-

Blankets tossed on the floor, clothes tugged and bunched every which way, you growled loud as the morning sun started breaching the horizon. You hadn’t slept in the least, even after attempting to soothe what Sweeney started your body was smoldering, heart beating so hard into every vein you barely closed your eyes. What you saw behind them only licked the flames higher. 

Your door suddenly swung open, freaking you out into quickly fixing your attire as your mother charged straight for your closet, not so much as glancing to you, thankfully. “If he hasn’t hit too many stops your father should be here in four hours. Which should be plenty of time to convince you to wear something nice and put on a smile.” 

Crawling to sit politely on the edge of your bed, you rolled your eyes. “Mother, seriously?” 

A dress was flung in your face, heavy enough to tip you. “Yes, seriously. You promised to wear dresses on special occasions!” 

Keep reading


I present this video as a must watch for casual Magic Players everywhere.  

Modern and Standard deck prices are outrageous.  Unless you can only get true fulfillment from competitive magic, or you have a passionate interest in speculation and finance, you will suffer the feel bads if you try to play that game.  The sad truth is that competitive Magic drives demand and therefore prices, and without supply side adjustments, those prices will stay high, and continue to rise.

But all is not lost.  We don’t have to play that game.  If you’ve ever complained about the crazy cost of Modern, or Standard rotations that trivialize your favorite deck that you put so much time and money into.  If you’re tired of the diminishing returns of rogue deck building in competitive formats.  And most of all, if you’re tired of complaining, waiting for Wizards to fix things, then stand up, and take matters into your own hands.

SEALED IS THE ANSWER.  You support WOTC directly, who makes this wonderful game we all enjoy.  You have an even playing field, that still respects skill.  Build your collection while enjoying the game.  Build your deck without having to chase rares or mythics.

Prerelease is already the best Magic event for Casual Players.  Why leave it at that?  Make FNM Great Again!  Don’t let something like Copycat Combo ruin Magic for you.  Don’t let the exorbitant prices of Modern discourage you from meaningful competitive play!  Sealed has something for everyone.

At the end of the day, we all just want to sit down and play Magic.  Whether at your LGS, or around the kitchen table, Sealed IS the answer.  Go in on a booster box with friends.  If someone wants to join in, all they need is six boosters.  The customizability, affordability, and balance of this format are its strengths.

When I go to see a movie, or buy a video game, I am not paying hundreds of dollars.  I shouldn’t have to in order to play Magic.  Opt out of the destructive debates over Standard and Modern.  Choose the format that is self regulated, and most prioritized by WOTC.  Play Sealed.

@flavoracle, @vorthosjay, @the-burnished-hart, @sarpadianempiresvol-viii, @sarkhan-volkswagen, @askkrenko, @everyone else…

harrehlouyah  asked:

Just curious if you did a break down of ESNY lyrics. id like to see your take on it.

I haven’t, but howbow now?

A lot of fans think Ever Since New York is about that unholiest of fauxmances, Haylor, since the primary stuntin’ took place in NYC. Listening to the lyrics, I agree with that.

Picture it: NYC, December 2012. 1D is at a career high, having played to a sold out Madison Square Garden crowd. This level of hotness must have smelled like blood in the water to fake ass fame vampire, Taylor Swift and her team. So commence fakelationship stuntin’!

I’ll show you what skeeved me out the most. The hotel ho strolls:

They’d make sure to pap Harry coming and going so that fans would infer that the s-e-x must have surely taken place. Classy. This is how music is marketed. Why God?

Meanwhile, all this fakery was apparently taking a toll on Louis:

And the Elounor awkwardness was later mocked by Grimmy:

And it only got worse from there. By New Year’s Eve, Tay Tay was reveling in this Times Square look-at-me spectacle:

Harry, not so much:

This was the point where 1DHQ really dug in with the closeting. Payzer 2.0 launched December 2012, too. Not a coincidence. This is where reality must have really set in. And this is just based on what we can piece together. God only knows what kinds of conversations took place bts to put all this in place. But I can imagine it was dehumanizing and demoralizing. Aggressive hetero stuntin’ would become the new normal for 1D.

So that’s the kind of stuff that would’ve influenced ESNY. It’s easy to understand why he still feels some type of way about it.


Tell me something, tell me something
You don’t know nothing, just pretend you do
I need something, so tell me something new
Choose your words ‘cause there’s no antidote
For this curse or what’s it waiting for
Must desert you just before you go

Harry is my people because he comes out the gate swinging. I’m guessing this first verse is directed at Taylor. Being older and having been in the business longer, Harry is looking to her to make him understand why this needs to happen. He wants her to help him make peace with it. But Taylor is the monster showbiz created. She has no wisdom to offer. So Harry is left grappling with this closeting, which feels like a curse. And “must desert you before you go” feels like a reference to the end of Haylor, where she played the role of good girl who got dumped…again.

There she is alone on a boat…deserted. This is what had to happen before she could go for good. It’s a reference to the fakery–knowing how things will play out before they even happen.

Oh, tell me something I don’t already know
Oh, tell me something I don’t already know

Again, Harry’s desperate for something more profound. I’m sure his team was telling him this was good for him, that it was in his best interests personally and professionally. But Harry isn’t really buying it.

Brooklyn saw me, empty avenues
There’s no water inside this swimming pool
Almost over, that’s enough from you
I’ve been praying, I never did before
Understand I’m talking to the walls
And I’ve been praying ever since New York

Harry was able to venture out into the boroughs, unbothered. But in Manhattan? It was lights, cameras, stunt time! And Haylor is like a empty swimming pool: an artifice without purpose. Just like a pool needs water to fulfill its purpose, a relationship needs a real emotional bond to fulfill its purpose. And of course, there wasn’t one. Harry’s counting the days until Taylor sails her fraudulent ass away on that boat. Enough! Same Harry. Same. These are trying times and Harry’s literally praying his way through it–searching for strength where he hadn’t looked before. That’s how profoundly hurtful this experience is for him And he’s been praying ever since. We know why.

Star Wars Fic Recs!

and by that I mean mostly focusing on/around Obi-Wan because my bias is showing and I cant be bothered to curb that impulse

(also gonna add in @swpromptsandasks​ who is an absolutely fantastic (not to mention prolific) writer who’d probably have something for everyone)

The Codywan fics

- Hope by lilyconrad - T - 6.7k

The Clone Wars are the backdrop to a quiet and fragile love between a general and a clone commander.

- There Goes The Atmosphere by missmollyetc - E - 45.2k (ongoing) (also a personal fav)

The most dangerous space in the galaxy is the distance between a clone and his general.

- Intertwine by @norcumi - E - 10.4k (also Padmé/Rex)

Padmé survives Mustafar. She and Obi-Wan strike out on their own with the twins, accumulating a far bigger family of clones, Jedi, and assorted troublemakers. Even in the shadow of the Empire, they manage to forge something new.

- Whiplash by dogmatix - T - 13.9k (ongoing) 

The world doesn’t stop just because you’ve won the war, and that goes double when the war might not actually be over.

The Rexobi fics

- Sketch by @peskylilcritter - G - 1k

Obi-Wan undercover as a clone.

- Couple Politics by @punsbulletsandpointythings - G - 2.1k

Rex can handle many things. Most things.

He’s pretty sure he can’t handle this.

- Kind, Sober, and Fully Dressed by @dharmaavocado - T - 23.7k

“You’re punishing me, aren’t you?” Anakin said. “I angered you somehow and this whole thing with Obi-Wan is my punishment.”

“Not everything is about you,” said Rex, hauling the guy up. “And, come on, have you seen him in those cardigans?”

“He looks like someone’s sad grandpa,” Anakin said.

In which Obi-Wan returns from four years undercover, Rex called dibs, the entire squad is not helpful, and Anakin hates his life.

(First in the Title of Our Sex Tape series aka that one B99 AU that I never knew I needed until it was in my face)

- Endure the Burning by @norcumi - M - 4.9k 

Captain Rex and General Kenobi both knew any interest they might have for the other was an impossibility. Then they discover that they are not just an impossibility, but something akin to a fairy tale.

- Two Weeks by scarletjedi - T - 14.7k (ongoing)

After yet another confrontation with General Grievous, Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, along with Padawan Ahsoka Tano, Captain Rex, and others from Skywaler’s 501st, find themselves crashed on a far-flung planet. With help two weeks away, our heroes must survive on this strange, abandoned land.

- Dancing in the Stars by @charity-angel - G - 9.1k

In which there is a really contrived excuse for Anakin to make an ass of himself, and Rex to be a good ori'vod (and maybe impress a certain other Jedi at the same time).

- In which Rex Doesn’t need his sight to get laid by @the-last-hair-bender (aka emocezi) - E - 2.5k

It had been an accident, or so Echo kept saying. They’d been bored, caught up in another endless round of ‘hurry up and wait’ and they’d been tossing around a flashbang in lieu of playing catch with something more dangerous. Like a grenade.

Of course someone had accidentally pulled the pin out and they’d all hurriedly stuffed their buckets on to protect their eyes. And then, because nothing is ever simple or easy. Captain Rex had walked in the room, sans helmet.

The 501st had, in Rex’s salty opinion, screamed like newborn Krayt Dragons and he’d had approximately three seconds to assess the situation before the world had turned impossibly white and he’d gone blind.

- The Best Cure by inkpenpaper - T - 5.6k 

It was the kind of milksop mission that would have normally been well below the paygrade of either the 501st and the 212th, so it was obvious Command meant it as sort-of leave.

Such a shame Obi-Wan touched something he shouldn’t have.

(Part of the this is not the fic you’re looking for series)

- War Against The Odds by @norcumi - M - 9.7k

Obi-Wan and Rex: from General and Captain in the GAR, to lovers, to survivors and Rebels.

Cody/Obi-Wan/Rex fics

- Waiting (Too Long) by @the-dragongirl - T - 6.4k

Rex waits by the bedside of one of his lovers, waiting (hoping) for him to wake up. Damn the Sith, anyway.

Or - Rex finds proof of the control chips and Palpatine’s treason before Order 66 can be fully carried out, and brings it to Anakin in time. Barely. Unfortunately, he does NOT get there in time to prevent the Order from being sent out to Utapau.

ObiAniDala fics

- Sigh No More by @edenwolfie - E - 131k (ongoing)

Anakin makes slightly better choices, Obi-Wan is a Mess™ and Padmé deserves none of this. AU from Mustafar onward with liberal manipulation of canon to culminate in some angsty, fluffy, domestic fix-it because we all deserve better.

I’m going to fix everything Lucas broke if it kills me.

who cares about your lonely heart by Elenothar - T - 28k

After the Battle for Coruscant, Obi-Wan has wings, a Sith Lord to handle, and a former Padawan who’s still not following a code of conduct for the Jedi. Facing the Sith Lord might be the easy part.

ObiKin fics

- Starbird by @imaginaryanon - T - 8.8k

As far as Anakin’s concerned, Obi-Wan is the picture of a perfect Jedi. or, Anakin thinks he knows everything about Obi-Wan but doesn’t. Anakin thinks a lot of things, actually, and he’s wrong about most of them. Anakin’s whole world view is turned upside down. Obi-Wan is having the time of his life.

- wicked thing by @imaginaryanon - M - 97k (ongoing)

There are rumours of yet another Sith Lord hiding among the Separatists. The Council sends Anakin to investigate. Anakin has a bad feeling about this. or, the story of how Anakin exists in a perpetual state of intense embarrassment, Kenobi is enjoying it a little too much, and everything is, generally speaking, a gigantic mess.

Bail/Obi-wan/Breha fics

- And Yet, I Love You Still by @punsbulletsandpointythings - T - 7k

At 25, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Breha Organa, and fell in love. At 34, Obi-Wan Kenobi met Bail Organa, and fell in love again.

- untinam by @spookykingdomstarlight - G - 2k

“I shouldn’t,” Obi-Wan said, body going rigid at her side. That wasn’t her intention, but she didn’t take the question back. She didn’t contradict him either. “The senator has only just returned. You two should—”

“He missed you, Obi-Wan,” she said, matching him for vehemence. In this, she would fight him. I’ve missed you, she thought, even though you’ve been here all along. “He would be disappointed if you didn’t put in an appearance.”

- As The Thunder Rolls by @the-dragongirl - G - 4k

Breha Organa must face the new reality of the Galactic Empire, both as the Queen of Alderaan, and as a woman. Fortunately, she does not have to face it alone.

Gen fics????

Ghosts of 66 series by dogmatix & @norcumi (because this is Star Wars and whats that without some Pain and Suffering)

Order 66 had thousands of loyal soldiers turning on their commanding officers and shooting them down. A collection of stories about some of these clones and their Jedi, and how death can often be a matter of perspective.

- Legacy by @deadcatwithaflamethrower - M - 18k

“Maul was my pride, my greatest accomplishment aside from the political games that have wrought me control over the Republic. Why should I take a second apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi? Why would you be worth my time?”

“Because I fucking hate you.”

- How Jedi Mourn series by @punsbulletsandpointythings (again, the suffering and pain)

They don’t. Until they can’t help it.

Rogue One fics (because i haven’t actually organised my shit so. i don’t got much for this yet???)

They Have Taken Photographs of Our Footprints in the Dust by @dharmaavocado - T - 4k

"Did you know I’m worth a quarter herd of bantha?”

At Jyn’s sharp inhale, Baze said, without opening his eyes, “My husband is an unrepentant liar. He is barely worth one sick bantha, much less a healthy quarter herd.”

In which Chirrut and Baze have spent more than half their lives together, and Chirrut likes to spin stories of how they were married.

climb, climb by @peradii - N/A - 1k

K-2SO: the droid with existential anxiety and a smart mouth.

Star Wars The Force Awakens fics

the beloved body, compass, polestar by @santiagoinbflat - T - 6k

Poe knows his place in the Resistance, in the galaxy at large–or, at least he thought he did.

But that was before Jakku. That was before Finn.

- tell me about the big bang by @jhholtzmann - M - 37k

There is a part of him that says: you are not human.

- falling, falling by @piyo-13 - T - 9k

Poe makes it out of the First Order’s clutches in one piece, which in and of itself is nothing short of a miracle. Or, well, he says ‘one piece’, but it’s hard to place physical value on mental capacities and anyways, he’s got other things to worry about than dealing with the aftermath of psychic Force-torture.

Such as that cute ex-Stormtrooper who saved Poe’s life, his droid, and most of his jacket.

Unfortunately (fortunately? He’s not really sure) for Poe, Finn knows what Kylo Ren is capable of, and he’s determined to help.


Naruto - Gifsets per episode
         Ep 14  Number One Hyperactive, Knucklehead Ninja Joins The Fight!! 
                    “I can’t die here yet ‘cause I have a dream I must turn into reality.                         The dream to have my strength recognised by everyone in the                             village.. and become Hokage!”

Honestly, it blows my mind that “people ” don’t like Voltron any more because of the Lance and Lotor ship.

Honestly, buzz kill and fun police.

If a crack ship ruined your love for Voltron. …then reality must be something else for you because you are lost in sending hate to a character who has yet to show up.

Wishing Lotor to be ugly, so he won’t be “shipped” with Lance. That’s petty as hell…like, so what if he’s ugly.

or how actively people want Allura to hit him in the face or for Lance to shoot his head off. Like honestly, do you not know the characters enough that you assume they will be like that…

That’s not only sad, but troubling.

What if, when DreamWorks does bring out Lotor, he’s an overall good character. He has his reasons to be “evil” and who knows, black and white but people forget the gray areas.

I don’t expect Lotor and Lance to happen, same thing with Keith and Lance, but it won’t stop me from shipping.

The hate of Lotor needs to stop, because “He’s ” not here yet.


Is the fan on fan hate. Don’t send anon hate and don’t do callout posts. also, please don’t attack the staff of Voltron. They gave us this wonderful show and we don’t need to be biting the hand that feeds us.

I really don’t think that Sherlock “woke up” the first time we see the modern scene in TAB. Imho, he goes a level down, not up. Like, I know that this stuff is nearly two years old, but let me sum it up, for posterity. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am making it too complicated but anyway, this is how I see those scenes.

What happens here in this scene? Holmes takes cocaine. This is Holmes inside the 21st century!Sherlock’s mind, and in this scene and do forgive me for saying this…

He goes deeper into himself. He has a conversation with Moriarty….

Then the MP begins to fall apart. The Elephant falls (does not shatter though)

Sherlock eventually falls into his chair

Aaaand wakes up. Or does he? Yeah… no, I don’t think.

And why? Because:

First of all, why does he, completely randomly start speaking in Watson’s voice? I think it’s because this scene is a part of the fantasy Holmes has after he takes cocaine. The scene with Moriarty and the first plane scene are Holmes’ cocaine-induced fantasy. 

And proof? Holmes talking about a jet in the scene where Watson finds him on the floor. Interestingly enough, he only mentions that John and Mycroft were there with him, not Mary. But that’s just a side note. If I have to make it complicated, the first plane scene is, basically, Sherlock inside Holmes’ mind inside Sherlock’s mind. Though it really isn’t THAT complicated, it’s similar to Inception, they have their own rules though.

And, I already talked about this bit yesterday, so…

He’s drugged in this scene and momentarily, he has lost control again. He doesn’t know if he is awake or not, not anymore. Modern world?

Must be the reality, except… it isn’t. And again, why would it be? This is exactly the same thing that happened the first time before we switched to the modern world. Moriarty appears out of nowhere and Holmes all of a sudden starts losing it and “waking up” and the victorian world becomes the modern world, but, as demonstrated in the graveyard scene, being in a modern world does NOT mean that it is the reality.

The skeleton attacks Sherlock and poof, scene cut. The Waterfall. But this scene has nothing to do with any other scene in TAB. One would think that because Watson and Holmes are acting like a cross between the victorian and modern versions of themselves, that we’re on the edge of MP, ready to dive back into the reality. But, that is not quite true. I mean, alright, Watson kicks Moriarty off the cliff, Holmes jumps and… 

…viola, the 21st century Sherlock awakes.

Or so we’re led to think. Remember what I said about the first plane scene? It’s a part of Holmes’ cocaine-induced fantasy. So, what does that mean? What about this scene? Well, I believe, that this scene and therefor all of these scenes as well

Are Holmes’ fantasies as well, and, like I said, it starts here, again, with Moriarty appearing out of nowhere:

And why do I think that? Because of the actual last scene of TAB. The ending is - Watson and Holmes sitting in their chairs. Talking about the case that, in their “world” happened, most probably, a couple of days prior to that. Hard to tell since Watson is wearing different clothes but Holmes isn’t. Also, they talk about the 7% solution and Holmes’ take on the modern world, things they, again talked about sooner which means that only a short time must have passed since it feels like they are continuing a conversation.

These are not the Holmes and Watson who have fought with Moriarty in the waterfall scene. These are the Holmes and Watson we last saw in this scene:

Holmes and Watson from the universe where this and everything after that did not happen:

This next part might sound like a stretch and I don’t really have any proof for that, it’s just an assumption. Holmes must have sort of “blacked out” for a moment during the scene in the catacombs, like, he was still drugged after all. So, he experiences a blizzard of bizarre fantasies, that end with this:

And that’s it. It’s where it ends, after the car drives off, he comes back to himself, they go back home, few days pass and he and Watson end in front of the fireplace. I mean, sitting. But, like I said I am not really sure about this part, if anything it’s just an assumption, might as well be just a headcanon of some sort.

You could argue that in this last modern scene of TAB Sherlock says “I know exactly what he’s going to do next” and since Lady Smallwood repeats the line in the beginning of TST then that means these scenes are definitely related and the last properly modern TAB scene must be real, except… first you must ask, why EVEN would Lady Smallwood know what Sherlock said there on the tarmac? And also, why did Mycroft stay behind in TAB? Why didn’t they go straight to Lady Smallwood to solve the problem immediately, since it was a matter of national importance? It’s clear, from the way everyone is dressed in TST, that it is a completely different day. Plus, Sherlock suddenly has a twitter. And also, like many other people pointed out too, since Sherlock tears apart The List from modern scene #1 in modern scene #3 then that can only mean, that neither scene #3 is real.

And, imho, it’s neither what precedes TST. TST is not the continuation of the last modern scene of TAB. Imho, it’s what follows after THIS happens in TAB.

It’s what happens after Holmes, once again, “goes deeper into himself”, this time, however, I am not sure if voluntarily or not. Either way, it explains all the TAB references in S4, Mary’s “my darling, John“, it, explains, pretty much everything. And like I once mentioned already, I think that S4 might as well be: Sherlock inside Holmes’ mind inside Sherlock’s mind.

One more thing. I am afraid that drugs have a lot to do with it. It seems, the more drugs Sherlock/Holmes takes the deeper he falls, or, maybe, he just has less control over the events. Maybe he isn’t even the one drugging himself? Who knows. All I know is what exactly made him start using drugs again…

Had I not seen you with my own eyes, how would I have ever believed you to be real? But you were real, weren’t you? Right now I find that as much as I had doubted the good nature of humans before I met you, I am starting to doubt the reality of your existence entirely. You have been out of my life for such a prolonged period of time that I have developed a need to question my memory about the day I found out about you. To forget my soul’s rejoicing about your living in the same timeframe as I do. To forget my soul entirely.
Surely, light could not have flown from your body in whirling waves of golden when I first saw you. It’s all in my head, right? There could not have been this greater quiescence in my mind that is habitually ridden with constant contemplations. Your smile must have been one of politeness, not one designed by the instant and total infatuation that took a hold of me; that made me feel grander and braver than I had ever been. I must ask myself, did I factually feel grander and braver? Was it love at all that caused the sensation? Or was it simply my resignation in despair that silenced every aggravation; every shard of anxiety in my being. That is after all how you first encountered me.
Think of it. How rare and peculiar – how unlikely – it is to find someone embodying light; advocating the voice of hope in times of solemn need. Someone who annihilates every flesh eating demon and strengthens the spirit with long forgotten vigor. With an unknown determination to burst out in the same cleansing incandescence. All to defend what’s good and righteous in the world; to protect the last angel who makes the world holy. How the cynic trembles when returning to the lost core of idealism. Ah, I must remind myself. When things are too good to be true, they usually are too good to be true.
Dare I still believe in our fairy tale I would now recall how I had first seen you in a juvenile feverish dream. How I had noticed that I always heard your voice inside my head whenever I read feminine spoken parts of stories. How it felt to be the center of gravity when I met you, feeling everything that naturally belonged violently smash back into me. A vast contracting of the boundless possibilities of every known and unknown galaxy, that would burst out into one universal truth. There I was one, and a part of you. As you were a part of me. As we had always been. As we had always meant to be. How can I keep the memory of such a powerful sense of belonging? Of knowing.
I cannot. Though letting go is an act of great reluctance. Had I not sought you all my life, it would have been easier to accept your existence; to accept there is one sheer magical being out there that befits me to perfection. A being that I likewise befit to perfection. No, I have no choice, I must doubt your reality to the point of forgetting. I must doubt every remnant of love, magic, and anything that makes life extraordinary that has remained in my recollection. How would I otherwise be able to live on, knowing that we are squandering our lives apart from each other?
I must accept that the fairy tale part of life is over. That we aren’t at that part of the romance novel where we struggle but realize we were always meant for each other. We are long past the last chapter. It is time for life and love to become normal. We weren’t destined to rival the works of greatest passion. We weren’t meant to love so madly that aeons from now the poets would write about us. We weren’t meant to. And I must forget that we could have.
—  What we’ve lost, by M.A. Tempels © 2017