must be at least this tall

anonymous asked:

Fellas, telling me your significant other's estimated height and weight tells me absolutely nothing about their clothing size other than whether she may or may not wear a Petite or Tall. If you're so set on picking out clothing for her instead of, say, getting a gift card FIND HER CLOTHING SIZES. I assume that you must have SOME sort of access to her clothing since you're at least emotionally intimate enough with her to buy her clothes. If nothing else, ask her best friend/favorite sister/ mom.

Push It Real Good

Read on AO3


Akielos Gym is deceivingly spacious considering how tiny it looks from the outside. It’s located on the far edge of the city, a tiny crook in the wall beside two hardware stores. But once you’ve walked down the long corridor to the reception desk and up the stairs, it opens into a wide, open space that must cover at least four or five of the downstairs properties. The rent must be obscene, but considering the pretty little penny that Laurent is fishing out for his membership, he figures the owners can easily afford it.

The thing is, Laurent hates the gym. He really does. But his new boss recommended the place and he keeps asking about whether Laurent has been yet, and so here he is: stood in the middle of the gym with one tall, dark, handsome, and obscenely muscular man who calls himself Damen. He came in last week to sign up and fill out a ridiculous number of forms, but today is his first day with his personal trainer. Apparently, everyone that signs up gets a personal trainer free for six weeks. It sounds great in theory, a good deal, but that means that Laurent actually has to show up to the gym and that when he’s there he actually has to exercise.

“Laurent, right?” Damen asks, stopping them in front of a row of treadmills. He’s holding a clipboard flicking through all the forms Laurent had signed the week before. Laurent tries not to fidget.

“Yes.”

“If you could tell me what you want to get most out of this, it’ll be easier for me to plan your sessions.”

“I don’t want to get anything out of it.” Laurent says with a sigh.

Damen looks down at him with a frown and an amused upturning of his lips. “Are you here under duress?”

“Something like that.”

Keep reading

Classism, anyone?

There’s something about the idea of Dean liking to read or Dean being a neatfreak that really seems to unsettle some people. At least that’s the impression I get by how people react to certain gifsets I made. Images of Dean reading or browsing through books keep prompting comments about how “confused” Dean is by them; my recent gifset on neatfreak!Dean has brought forth all sorts of attempts to prove that Dean is actually a slob, ranging from “Sam thinks he is messy (Tall Tales), so that must make it true” to “Dean doesn’t care about cleanliness, he just likes to complain a lot”.

Now, some of this might be down to the confusion as to what makes a character a character instead of a cliche. People argue: “Dean’s a hunter, so he can’t be a neatfreak.” But it’s intriguing contradictions like this which make a character come alive.

However, I can’t help but notice that there’s a classist attitude to which parts of Dean’s characterisation cause more controversy than others. In the first two seasons of SPN, the show itself deconstructed that classist attitude towards Dean piece by piece. So, honestly, I’m a bit at a loss as to why it’s still rearing its ugly head in fandom in season 12?

Everybody’s Got Their Demons (Supernatural!Calum)

Incubus!Calum Smut (Part of Halloween!5sos Series)

Word Count: 1.6k

Rating: smUt

Warning: supernatural!5sos, slight daddy kink Calum ?? also kind of rushed

A/N: I really like supernatural!5sos and I’m glad that y’all do too

Requests: open

Supernatural!Ashton

Masterlist

The kit wasn’t supposed to have worked.

It was supposed to be a joke, some colorful rocks, chalk, and a white candle. The pentagram was drawn haphazardly and the rocks were not placed correctly. Hell, you were in your basement.

And yet, there stood a tall, dark, handsome Incubus in the flesh.

Keep reading

@miss-azura liked for a starter


What another human was doing in Lalotai… No one could say… But they had somehow managed to stumble upon Tamatoa’s lair.

It was an intimidating sight, to say the least. A towering conch shell that must’ve come from a creature over two hundred feet tall, combined with a worn, rocky cave with a nearly demolished entrance. Rocks and various bits of debris scattered outwards, as if something massive had broken its way out with significant force.

A faint, warm glow could be seen emanating from inside the cavern, but a deafening silence hung in the misty air.

Was he home?

anonymous asked:

Damian jumps on a ledge close and tall enough to Bruce's head so he can kiss his forehead then saying "Tonight was a good patrol, goodnight father" and hops off to walk away. Dick and Alfred probably sees and thinks that's adorable while Bruce is kind of confused but glad his son at least likes him. (would Damian also kiss Alfreds hand maybe since he's sort of like a parent figure?)

Ok.

“I thought we’d go sailing this afternoon. This is my boat.” Holy cow. It must be at least forty, maybe fifty feet. Two sleek white hulls, a deck, a roomy cabin, and towering over them a very tall mast. I know nothing about boats, but I can tell this one is special. “Wow…,” I murmur in wonder. “Built by my company,” he says proudly and my heart swells. “She’s been designed from the ground up by the very best naval architects in the world and constructed here in Seattle at my yard. She has hybrid electric drives, asymmetric dagger boards, a squaretopped mainsail—” “Okay… you’ve lost me, Christian.” He grins. “She’s a great boat.” “She looks mighty fine, Mr. Grey.” “That she does, Miss Steele.” “What’s her name?” He pulls me to the side so I can see her name: The Grace. I’m surprised.

anonymous asked:

What would be Kakashi's type?

Originally posted by osakaxkobe

He’s highly attracted to strong women, he really isn’t into the “helpless girl” type. He also loves honest and smart women and he dislikes loud or coarse ones. He actually likes a caring, supportive and kind girlfriend. He kind of agrees with opposites can attract. He loves when a woman is affectionate but not clingy, when she’s independant too. Though he doesn’t know how to deal with messy display of emotions so his s/o must avoid it. He likes organized women who also are kind of perfect housewifes, or at least someone who can cook. He’s looking for a partner who have her own talents, he doesn’t want a copycat and he wants his partner to be his equal. He also enjoys funny and outgoing women and he thinks confident women are hella hot. He’s also attracted to women who like to take risks.

As for the appearance, he likes tall women, almost as tall as him, and he doesn’t really care about weight. He loves dark eyes and hair and has a thing for long hair too but he doesn’t care, as long as she is good-looking and nice dressing (yes he thinks it’s important that she dresses well).

-Admin L

“Ah, you must be Miss Mizoguchi.”  The man who enters the room is tall and old, dressed in hospital scrubs with little puppies on them.  He wears an easy smile across his face.  “No one made me aware that Robin was in the habit of giving out his secret identity to every attractive girl he meets on patrol.”

Damian’s boots smack the linoleum floor across the room when he leaps off the counter and points an accusatory finger at the man.  “Shut your filthy mouth, Pennyworth, I did no such thing!”  Pennyworth raises a single grey eyebrow and Damian says, “She figured it out on her own!”

“You didn’t really make it hard,” Maps says.  “I mean when you saved me from that owl you were literally just wearing a sweatshirt over your costume.”

“What would you have had me do?  You called Damian.  I was on patrol and had a limited window of time to reach you.  Should I have just arrived as Robin?”

“You might as well have,” Maps says, and even as she does it’s still beyond surreal to have this conversation with him in the Robin costume in the Batcave.  As soon as she gets back to school Maps is marking this day on her calendar as the official best day of her entire life, horrific fear toxin induced hallucinations not-withstanding.

Damian snorts and Pennyworth rubs his forehead with his thumb and forefinger, muttering to himself.

“I believe you and your father are going to have a chat when he arrives home about the etiquette involved in preserving one’s secret identity,” Pennyworth says.

Obviously, the idea of Scrooge stories being set in the modern day (as most of them are) can’t really be reconciled with Barks’ specific historical background for the character anymore. Apparently that doesn’t stop some writers from trying, though! In the story “Himalayan Hideout” (U$ 19/423), we have Daisy using a laptop:

Yet Scrooge discusses selling books in 1904!

I’m not sure whether that “World’s Fair” line was in the original Swedish story, or if it was added by English dialog writer Gary Leach – but at least in the English version of the story, the guy must be over 100 years old!

I suppose one could always take Scrooge’s historical anecdotes in cases like this as “tall tales”, much in the vein of the exaggerated claims about his own history that Scrooge would make in some Barks stories:

Alternatively: maybe laptops and cellphones are not signs of a 21st-century setting at all, but merely that Duckburg is – as Barks himself occasionally characterized it – The City Of The Future!

Either that or Scrooge is just immortal. Your choice!

anonymous asked:

what would be Kakuzu's type?

Originally posted by osakaxkobe

First of all, Kakuzu would like a clever, well-organized woman who wouldn’t be a burden to him. He highly dislikes annoying, (too) talktative and loud women. He surely won’t love someone who is possessive, rude or confrontational as he likes to be in control. Though he lowkey likes when someone challenge him. He likes cold women or at least a woman who have this impressive ‘aura’. He will surely be attracted to strong and independant women as well as he doesn’t like when someone is too clingy nor too affectionate or, worse, weak. Being calm and not rowdy will also seduce him. He’s the kind to fall in love with someone who has the same personality as him, he doesn’t believe in opposites attract. Also, his s/o must not be lovey-dovey at all because he really isn’t this kind of guy.

As for the appearance, he doesn’t care if his s/o is tall or small but he likes athletic and slim bodies, though he doesn’t mind a little chubbier s/o. He doesn’t care about hair or eyes either but has a little preference for long hair.

-Admin L

Basic necromantic summoning ritual

Foreword.
Do not attempt this ritual until you have completed this checklist.
* Made and maintained a spirit altar long enough to communicate actively with the spirits it was made for.
* Slept along side the dead.
* Lost the fear of death.

There’s no faking, You must be 100% committed. Either you’ve done it or you haven’t. Lying to yourself will leave you the loser.
If you attempt this ritual for “fun” or to “experiment” you will fail and/or hurt yourself greatly. I am not responsible for damages to property or person[s] as s result of this ritual. Precede with caution. You have been warned.

ACT I. PREPARATION.

Materials.
+ Tall white candle and optionally a holder.
+ One of the following chalks or “Paints” : - Chalk (White)
- Anointed Chalk (White)
- Blood (animal or your own)
- Grave soil + Blood (animal or your own)
* incense containing at least two of the following:
- Blood (animal or your own)
- Jasmine
- Rose
- Wormwood
- Sandlewood
- Lavender
+ Covered glass of water
* Radio
* Black mirror, blood basin or incense.
+ Table.
(* Optional)

The set up.
1. No less than ten minutes before you begin, draw blood from your summoning hand. Roll the candle in your blood, thus anointing it.
2. Using a compass and using one of the chalk or paints mentioned in the “materials” section, make a circle that is at least half a meter in radius and no further than two paces from the table.
3. On the table, write the name or Cast the sigil (see “sigil making” in a future post) pertaining to the spirit in question.
4. Place the COVERED glass of water on the table.
5. If using incense to either allow the spirit to manifest in the smoke or to draw the spirit, place it on a hot coal at this point.
6. If using a radio to assist in “Hearing” the dead, turn it on and tune it to a purely static channel.
7. If using a black mirror or blood basin to assist in “seeing” the dead, place it on the table to the side of your summoning hand.
8. Turn off the light and place the candle behind the name or sigil. The ritual has begun.

Act II.
The Ritual.
1. Light the candle
2. Loudly state the name of the spirit and any incantation you wish to use. Incantations should consist of demands, powerful words or vibrations. We are necromancers, Not witches. Save your poems and songs.
3. Gaze into the candle flame, black mirror, smoke or blood basin and wait for the presence of the spirit you have summoned. Continue step two if needed.
4. When the spirit appears, offer it the water on the table. If it accepts, uncover the cup. If it does not, skip to act 3.
5. State your reason for calling the spirit. Propose to it that you will give it a reward if it agrees to answer your question truthfully. This is what the candy or bread is for. If it denies, skip to act 3
6. Begin asking your questions or stating demands. Do not waste it’s time or your own, If the spirit lies to you. End the ritual.
If the spirit does not know the answers to the questions you ask, end the ritual. When you run out of questions you must give it it’s reward and end the ritual.

ACT III.
ENDING THE RITUAL.
1. Thank the spirit for it’s time, cover the glass and smash the candle, flame down into the desk.
2. If the spirit is still present, announce in a firm voice “I wish not to play games with you, spirit. Leave this place at once! Be gone! I banish you back to the land from which you came!” Whist smearing the sigil or name that once brought it to you.
3. Extinguish the incense, wash your face in the blood basin or cover the black mirror in its cloth.
4. Turn on the lights and sweep up the circle. Wash the table of the sigil or name and despose of everything but the candle, which is to be left untouched till the break of dawn.
5. Wash your body in an intense purifying bath. If you have used a blood basin leave the blood on your face until the break of dawn
6. Cleanse the room and yourself of any residual energy.

You have now summoned a spirit. You have officially become a necromancer. You are on a road to vast power and endless knowledge. Never forget. Behind all candles and incense it was YOU who summoned the spirit. If the ritual did not work, it was for one of four reasons.
1. Your intentions where not pure.
2. You lack the experience to summon the spirit.
3. You did not do as instructed.
4. You are weak.
Find which one of the following caused the problem and fix it.

Best of luck.
- Sageous.

The Shadows Have Teeth

Any - I Am A Cat

I am called Kisa, or Misse, or sometimes when the humans are mad, Why You!!! When it is sunny I like to have my basket put up in the light. The soft one and the tailed one are good at this. The large one and the loud one speak lots and listen only a little. I can lie on my back and sun my belly and I won’t even need my blankets to be warm. This is much better than being cold. It is very cold and has been cold since as long as I remember. I used to live all the time in the cold but now I am with the humans who are tall and naked and they must make their own fur. Or at least this is what I think they do because they can shed and replace it as easily as that. Because they do not stay warm so easily they must also make their own in their cave with fire. And because of that I am warm always. The soft one is busy lots with the papers and sometimes she sings a little while she is looking at them but without opening her mouth. If she spends too long with the papers I try to help her play. The large one does not like to play but I sleep in his pocket while he washes the cave and the blankets. He smells like soap. The sharp one hunts at night and sleeps at day and would make a good nap friend but he is all over claws and I stay in the room with the papers. It is cold always and scary always because I can hear the singing in the shadows like the soft one singing but I can sometimes see the shadows open their mouths and show all their teeth. I have teeth and the humans have teeth for their hands and their belts but they are not like the shadow teeth. We run lots so that we do not feel the teeth. But the teeth are there always because they live in the shadows. And everywhere, everywhere, there are shadows.

We had just gotten to the bottom of a crypt, searching for an artifact of resurrection for our party mascot. Turns out it was protected by a skeleton. Our party has a habit of being punny at any given time.

DM: the skeleton sits atop a throne of skulls, and has a glowing sapphire in its left eye.

Ranger: At least he’s keeping an eye out.

DM: The skeleton grows larger by about six inches and begins giving off an aura of power.

Cleric (me): Seems he has a bone to pick with us.

DM: He grows by another six inches and his aura strengthens.

Berserker: Glad to see he has some spine.

-A flurry of puns later the skeleton has grown to about 20 ft tall-

DM: The skeleton’s head hits the ceiling. His aura is overwhelming.

Rogue: He must weigh a skele-Ton

Berserker: Just throw me a bone here, when can I smash him?

Ranger: Not much longer, we have to finish ribbing him first.

-And that’s the story of how we killed a boss by crushing it with puns-

  • ronan: *puts sign on door that says "no girls allowed"*
  • blue: that's childish and sexist, you degenerate
  • ronan: oh, sorry, my mistake
  • ronan: *crosses out "no girls allowed"*
  • ronan: *writes "must be at least this tall to enter..."*
  • blue:

unfetteredchaos  asked:

"You're lonely, too."

ARE WE NOT DEVILS?

Was it inevitable, then, that the two of them find each other?

These OUTCASTS, these DAUGHTERS of VILLAINS, these women so VILIFIED themselves, there was possibly no way for them NOT to come together. This CONJURER must understand Hel, at least on the SURFACE. Were MUTANTS not to Midgard what JOTNAR were to Asgard? It was so UNSIGHTLY to speak of such things, though, to dig up old bones and JOIN THEM to another’s ghosts.

What did you do WRONG, she wondered, what did you stand ACCUSED of? What parts of yourself did you BIND so they would no longer CHOKE on the idea of you? Is it FOOLISHNESS, trying to find a CENTER in you, Maximoff?

Tall, proud, Hel kept her SILENCE, only allowing herself a slow intake of breath. If nothing else, she showed particular skill in HOLDING BACK the DEAD. For all of her questions, the SORCERESS would be left UNSCATHED by Hel’s curiosity.

“You have such REPUTATION, ENCHANTRESS,” she began, each word falling HONEYED from her mouth. It would be JUST ENOUGH to cover the lingering BITE of her silver-tongue, if one did not look TOO HARD.  “STRANGE how I have never heard of your ability to READ MINDS until now.”

Not that this woman HAD. Hel did not DWELL on her loneliness, outside of her own chambers. What had this mortal SEEN?

What in her was so AVERSE to the idea of EMPATHY, even when she could UNDERSTAND IT?