musings

“It has been some time since our last words were spoken.

I have often wondered what you thought after the last message was sent

If you hurt

If you felt the pain in which I did

If your heart felt broken and empty

A fog appeared

I begged to be numb

Thoughts of you invade me

Why would something which was

so wrong- make me ache so badly?

The pushing and pulling

The wall in which you would not allow to fall

The words which you wanted so badly to say, but couldn’t

Do you regret those moments?

The intense chemistry

The deep attraction which would continuously bring us together

The phone calls that lasted for hours

So much laughing,

hearts that were truly linked,

thoughts of longing that made us ache with deep desire

How I wanted so badly to touch you


To feel your breath upon my face

To look into your eyes,

as I finally tasted the mouth

which spoke such beautiful words

to me

Do you think of me,

as I think of you?

The words shared

The butterflies that danced endlessly

The laughter,

deep aches, and pain

a part of me,

will forever belong to you

crave you

want you

how I miss you “


(a found message that was never sent )

~ SacredBreaths

My gym has a program for trans women geared toward helping them achieve a physique that more aligns with who they are and when I found out I started crying nbd

Ren Amamiya Analysis Part 3.5

Some additional things I failed to notice or mention in my previous post, and hopefully I write this better because I wrote the previous one in a rush. 

I’ve talked about this in my previous post, but I just want to say something more because this is probably my favorite moment in the episode. 

But they don’t know anything.

Just as Ren hated the situation he was in, Ann hated hers. They don’t know anything. That line had probably went through Ren’s head countless times over ever since he was labeled as a criminal and no one cared about what really happened. He wanted to do something about his situation, yet there was nothing he could do. Helpless. 

The same thing was going through Ann’s life. People only hear what they want to hear. Not many were interested in the truth. They feed on rumors they themselves created. And Ren understood it better than anyone. 

What should I do? Someone, please tell me…

That troubled look. 

Ren could feel Ann’s helplessness as she was a prisoner of her own situation. She wanted to escape, but if she did, there would be retributions to Shiho, and she didn’t want to risk that. 

Yet… there was something Ren could do. What Kamoshida was asking of Ann–Ren didn’t like hearing it one bit. There was nothing he could do about his own situation, but maybe, he could help Ann get out of hers. The resolve was there, but following through it meant taking the risk of killing Kamoshida in the process. As later that night as he lay in bed, he remembered what Morgana said. He wanted to do it, but the risk was too big to take. 

But then he witnessed Shiho jumping off the school roof… 

I miss the part where Morgana tells them that he has never done what he just proposed so there is no telling if his plan will succeed. Like, theoretically, his plan will be able to change Kamoshida’s heart. But what if it fails…?

Then again, it doesn’t really matter. It only adds to their initial uncertainty, and Morgana has already said that their plan may kill Kamoshida. Their uncertainty to follow through was already there. But after Ann told Ren about what Kamoshida was doing to her and witnessing Shiho’s suicide attempt, no matter what the cost, Ren was ready to take it as long as he’ll be able to stop Kamoshida and help Ann, Shiho, and the rest of the school. Besides,

I don’t want to kill people. But Morgana said that was a “worst-case scenario.” If we can pull it off without killing Kamoshida…

So we take a gamble, huh? 

This can’t go on. We can’t let others go through what Suzui did. 

I am loving this! I love how Ren has a personality, talks a lot more, and we manage to see his assertive side. What Ryuji said in the game, how Ren won’t take a “No” once he’s made up his mind… I really love how the anime captures this perfectly^^

Moving on… (lol)

They found the treasure and Morgana told them of every risk of stealing someone’s heart. But before they could decide what to do, the alarm sounded, and it appeared the Palace’s guards had apprehended the real Ann, who had followed them into the Metaverse when they activated the Navigator. And as Ann broke down in front of them all when she found out she was the reason behind Kamoshida’s abuse on Shiho, Ren gave her the push she needed, just as he had done for Ryuji. 

She’s your friend, right? Your only friend!

And as Ann broke free and awakened her persona, Ren had this satisfied smirk. Because Ann had found herself and found her resolve. She’s not going to submit to Kamoshida ever again. She’s going to do everything she can to help and avenge Shiho. 

Because he’s managed to do the one thing he wanted ever since Ann poured her heart out to him. He managed to help Ann break free from her imprisoned situation. 


Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Y’all might equate railways with evil urbanization, but consider how isolating a car-centric society is where you’re in your little box segregated away from your fellows instead of seeing people and interacting in the streets (which now are more pedestrian and can revive street-shop bazaar culture) or on the railcars.

Part of the reason we’re all socially dead is because everything we do isolates us, and a car-centric culture directly contributes to that and various deranged things like entire cities that are nothing but suburbs, a grocer, and fifteen slightly different bars inhabited by people who travel out of the city for work and social affairs while never even knowing anyone else who lives there.

Why shouldn’t it be that way when you can just drive somewhere, right?

Sometimes William looks back to the past even if he says he wants to forget it and the fact that Grell saved his life.

I think William unwittingly misses the troublesome, free-spirited Grell with his filthy tongue, who stood up for himself and didn’t take shit from anyone (not even from William) before he started with his “I wear makeup and long hair and heels and I paint my nails imma womyn now hurr durr~~ luv me Will~~”-bullshit which seems to annoy William to no end.

But he also knows that he changed as well in all these years. William wants to forget the past because the nostalgic memory of the Grell he once knew and loved and then somehow disappeared, is truly heartbreaking.

2

Many thanks @gothicbot for loaning me your playlist. I had an odd replay in my head.

Megabyte entered the diner in his deadly glory. His crocodile grin widened as he observed the wide-eyed costumers. With a wave and dramatic gesture, he uttered one order.

“Leave,”

Frightened, the crowd hurriedly passed double doors. The virus exhaled and strode over to the command.com’s booth.

“Ah Miss Matrix, punctual as always.” Grinning, he sat down- opposite from her.

“All, right Megabyte”, Dot removed her glasses. “ let’s discuss details of the trade.” She frowned and folded her hands on the table. “What do you want for the exchange?” 

“I’m afraid the price is…shall we say.” Megabyte grinned and leaned in. “quite high.”

“Enough dramatics, “Dot shuttered and glared. “what are your demands?”

“Tell me Miss Matrix…” The virus examined his claws, his eyes glowed. “Are you nasty?”

Dot blinked, she clenched her teeth. Quickly she retrieved her gun from the holster. She aimed it at his forehead, her finger slightly squeezed the trigger. “You tell me, virus!” She smirked.

(bahhahahaha I’m evil)

        I don’t know what’s 𝖍𝖆𝖚𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖒𝖊
                                 or 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 tomorrow.
                 Who is running these 𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴
                                               with 𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖚𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖘𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖜.