musician-problems

The instruments of an orchestra, as described by Tumblr
  • Flute: I will actually KILL you for your ChAIR. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH
  • Piccolo: I am angry at everything also your ears just exploded lmao
  • Violin: Violins I: *practices 2 days each day* IM PERFECT. Violins II: I will always live in the shadow of the firsts
  • Viola: everyone always forgets about me also iT'S noT A VioLIn!!!!!
  • Cello: wats rhythm wats a conductor
  • Double bass: i play like 3 notes in a phrase
  • Clarinet: *squeaks*
  • Oboe: REEDS
  • Bassoon: ????? do i exist
  • Trumpet: I AM THE GOD OF EVERYTHING. EGO.
  • Trombone: *hits unsuspecting musicians in the back of their head*
  • Tuba: 1...5...1...5...1...5...
  • French horn: totally not emptying the contens of my spit valve onto the floor
  • Percussion: *hits everything* this is an instrument *slaps u* this is an instrument
  • Harp: how do i even transport my instrument also it takes like 3 years to tune this thing
  • Piano: IM MY OWN ORCHESTRA SCREW YOU ALL *sees concert etudes* ahhhhhhhh
  • Me before practicing: I really love classical music. So deep. So sophisticated. I really, really love it. Chopin and Liszt's works are so intricately planned out, as if God's own music. Have you heard Rachmaninoff? Man, I worship those composers. When I hear their music, I am reminded of the constant beauty of this world around us. All it takes is to listen and an open heart.
  • Me while practicing: URRRRRGGHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T HAVE FOUR FUCKING HANDS *Sets music on fire* THEY WROTE THESE PIECES DELIBERATELY SO I COULD HAVE A MISERABLE SHITTY LIFE *flips over piano* IF I COULD TIME TRAVEL I WOULD FUCKING TEACH THEM THAT I ONLY HAVE T W O F U C K I N G H A N D S *throws piano out the window* FUCK MUSIC
  • Me after practicing: Have I mentioned I love music? I really love practicing, too. It's like a bridge between the heavens and the earth, you know? The rush of practicing is like an adrenaline shot. I love music.
Throwing away reeds
  • good reeds: You have served me well and deserve reed heaven. Bless your reedy soul. *Honorably throws it in the trash can*
  • Mediocre reeds: Meh. *Toss into bin*
  • bad reeds: Your time has come to DIE. I have been WAITING for the moment I get TO SNAP YOU IN HALF *Sets on fire*