musician-problems

  • Me before practicing:I really love classical music. So deep. So sophisticated. I really, really love it. Chopin and Liszt's works are so intricately planned out, as if God's own music. Have you heard Rachmaninoff? Man, I worship those composers. When I hear their music, I am reminded of the constant beauty of this world around us. All it takes is to listen and an open heart.
  • Me while practicing:URRRRRGGHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK I DON'T HAVE FOUR FUCKING HANDS *Sets music on fire* THEY WROTE THESE PIECES DELIBERATELY SO I COULD HAVE A MISERABLE SHITTY LIFE *flips over piano* IF I COULD TIME TRAVEL I WOULD FUCKING TEACH THEM THAT I ONLY HAVE T W O F U C K I N G H A N D S *throws piano out the window* FUCK MUSIC
  • Me after practicing:Have I mentioned I love music? I really love practicing, too. It's like a bridge between the heavens and the earth, you know? The rush of practicing is like an adrenaline shot. I love music.

how do musicians listen and control intonation, phrasing, voicing, harmony, rhythm, tempo, tone, color, emotion, direction, pulse, every aspect of every note all at the same time and even by memory, while doing technical leaps and pedalling or shifts and bowings or controlling their breathing and tonguing and making it seem like the most natural thing in the world??

and ya’ll say music is easy smh

The 10 states of being a musician
  1. i am crying all my tears out into a flowing river of darkness
  2. I really should be practicing but I’m not
  3. I AM GENIUS INCARNATE I CAN DO ANYTHING
  4. is it my instrument or am I just a really bad musician?
  5. no. i can’t perform for you because i left my skills in the car. bye
  6. EVERYONE ELSE IS BETTER THAN ME!!!! EVEN THAT 9-YEAR OLD ON YOUTUBE!!!!!!!
  7. Theory = death.
  8. I am better than other people yay for me
  9. what is this odd contraption that I see before me I haven’t practiced in 3 weeks how do I operate my instrument
  10. having musician nightmare. I AM PERFORMING BUT I PLAYED SO MANY WRONG NOTES AND THE ADJUDICATORS ARE LISZTZARDS (sorry I had to) THAT WILL DEVOUR ME IF I PLAY BAD
me listening to any piece i've played before
  • me:subdivide you shits
  • me:HOW IS THAT ALLEGRO
  • me:violins you're rushing
  • me:viOLINS COME BACK
  • me:tHAt was supposed to be mezzopiano what r u doing
  • me:COME ON FIRST OBOE I COULD PLAY THAT SOLO BETTER AND I DON'T EVEN PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENT
  • me:pERCUSSION COME ON that was supposed to fortissimo
  • me:you're such a letdown
  • me:talkin to you bass drum
  • me:it was your chance to vent your anger
  • me:and smack the shit out of that drum
  • me:come on
  • me:i fucking love this piece
The instruments of an orchestra, as described by Tumblr
  • Flute:I will actually KILL you for your ChAIR. IF YOU DONT BELIEVE ME JUST WATCH
  • Piccolo:I am angry at everything also your ears just exploded lmao
  • Violin:Violins I: *practices 2 days each day* IM PERFECT. Violins II: I will always live in the shadow of the firsts
  • Viola:everyone always forgets about me also iT'S noT A VioLIn!!!!!
  • Cello:wats rhythm wats a conductor
  • Double bass:i play like 3 notes in a phrase
  • Clarinet:*squeaks*
  • Oboe:REEDS
  • Bassoon:????? do i exist
  • Trumpet:I AM THE GOD OF EVERYTHING. EGO.
  • Trombone:*hits unsuspecting musicians in the back of their head*
  • Tuba:1...5...1...5...1...5...
  • French horn:totally not emptying the contens of my spit valve onto the floor
  • Percussion:*hits everything* this is an instrument *slaps u* this is an instrument
  • Harp:how do i even transport my instrument also it takes like 3 years to tune this thing
  • Piano:IM MY OWN ORCHESTRA SCREW YOU ALL *sees concert etudes* ahhhhhhhh