musical origins

Notes

Erik to Carlotta: You talentless fuck
Erik to Piangi: You fat fuck
Erik to the managers: You dumb fuck
Erik to Christine: You beautiful fuck

Music Series: I Love You by Little Mix

Oh my goodness! This was one of the most emotional stories for me that I’ve written to date! Thank you to the Anon who requested this MS story! I struggled trying to write it last night and had to put it off for awhile until I finally felt the right story, then I still ended up rewriting parts of it 4 different times.

I hope you all like it. Angst is your thing, I know, and this is riddled with it! I LOVE reading angst, but writing it is exhausting! I hate making Harry and the missus both sad!!!

So here it is, per Anon request, to the tune of Little Mix’s, “I Love You”, which can be found on Spotify at this link: https://open.spotify.com/track/0UR5YpswSYwZvUXVH8xbNC

Grab a tissue! xo

Shelli

*****************************

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

I hear your name and it’s like I’m breaking, aching

You still got that power hanging over me

It’s always over but still happening

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

Breakups were never easy. But your breakup with Harry was more difficult than you had ever imagined.

Harry had taken you out for a nice dinner, then a lovely drive in the night, before taking you back home. He walked you into your house and you could sense he was uneasy about something.

“Is it okay if we talk about something before I leave?” he asks.

“Yeah, of course,” you say, grinning at him with a hint of concern. “Everything okay?”

“Um…” Harry seems uncomfortable, and takes your hand as he leads you to sit next to him on the sofa. “You know I leave in a few days for work.”

“I know,” you say with a smile. “Should be an amazing tour!”

Harry smiles slightly and nods. The two of you had been dating for several months and had quickly fallen in love. But knowing that he would be absent from your life for nearly the next year, it made him rethink the timing of the relationship.

The entire rest of the conversation you barely remembered. Your head was spinning in disbelief. Had Harry just broken up with you, suggesting it wasn’t healthy at that point in your relationship together to be separated for so long? Your ears were ringing. He knew when the two of you decided to be together that the tour was coming. Did he not think you would last that long with him? You weren’t sure whether to be hurt or offended, but you were both.

“I just don’t think it’s fair of me to ask you to wait for me, love,” he insists, shaking his head. “You have your work, and mine is insane. We’ll never see each other.” You try and process what he is saying, without breaking down in front of him. “We’ll learn to resent each other, and I don’t want that for us. I care too much about you.”

You wipe a tear from your eyes, hoping he hadn’t seen it, then look at the floor. You tried to reason it out in your mind, but your heart was broken that he didn’t want you anymore.

“I’d rather do it this way and hold on to our friendship, then have the regrets and resentment, and lose our friendship in the process,” he says honestly.

For a long moment you say nothing, then look at him, the sadness in your eyes killing him.

“Alright then,” you agree, reluctantly. “If that’s what you want. I guess your mind is made up. I’ll respect your decision.”

You stand and walk to the door as he follows you. You can barely look at him, not wanting to break down in front of him. You aren’t angry with him…well, not much…but the pain you are feeling in that moment is nearly more than you can bear. You open the door and before you can stop him, Harry has his arms around you, holding you tightly. You can barely breathe as you try not to cry, but you feel the drops leave your eyes as they land on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. You know it isn’t because I don’t love you. It’s just…”

“It’s fine,” you barely choke out, your voice trembling terribly. You want to tell him you love him too, and you do love him, with all of your heart, but it just doesn’t feel right in that moment. You sniff as he pulls away slightly, leaving a gentle kiss on your lips, then quickly walking out the door. You watch as he practically runs to his car, seeing him wipe his face with his t-shirt before getting in and driving away.

I just wanna scream out ‘til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

Baby I love you

You lean your back against the closed door and bury your face in your hands as you weep openly, screaming as loudly as you can, thinking it will make you feel better but it doesn’t. Nothing could make you feel better. You couldn’t even hate him, because you understood, or at least you tried to understand it from his perspective.

Your heart is broken. The man you are in love with just broke up with you, leaving you alone and feeling deserted and depressed. And it wasn’t like he was just going to be a few miles away in his home, or running into each other in a restaurant. He was leaving in a couple of days on tour. He would be thousands and thousands of miles away from you, and it hurt. No more flirty texts or calls…no more late night pop-in’s at your door, asking for a sleepover with you…no more spending time with the person you considered your best friend…no more.

But what made this the most difficult was knowing that you were no longer his. That he had chosen you to be with, then for his own reasons, took it back. It angered you, but you couldn’t hate him. You loved him, and you didn’t think you would ever stop.

Uh oh, uh oh, don’t know how I’m still breathing, breathing

I got this hole up in my heart baby, baby

And it doesn’t matter what no one say

Even though it’s broken, I love you anyway

Uh oh, uh oh, here I go again, baby, baby

For the next couple of weeks you felt nothing but devastation, desperation, and the feeling of being completely alone. Harry had texted and tried to call a couple of times, you supposed to make sure you were okay, but it was too soon for you and you ignored him. The last thing you wanted was to hear his voice, so it was ironic to you that it was also what you most wanted. You hadn’t been able to listen to the voicemails he left. You felt in a sense that you needed to heal first. Losing Harry wasn’t something you get over overnight.

With time and the love of a few good friends, you began taking your like back again, feeling yourself again. Mutual friends of yours said Harry calls them every now and then checking on you, making sure you are okay. But when he began seeing photos of you on friend’s social accounts again, it struck him that you were moving on. It’s what he wanted, right? For you to be able to go on without him? So why did it make him so sad?

Harry missed you terribly, like a piece of his heart was missing. Breaking up with you, while seeming the right thing to do, had left Harry miserable, harder than what he realized it would be. Seeing you in friend’s videos and photos was bittersweet. He loved you. He would always love you.

I just wanna scream out 'til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

I just wanna know how I can save me

Even if these three words choke and take me

Baby I love you

Just what you needed! Dinner out with a group of friends…food and wine and good company. God, did you ever need it. Each day seemed to get a bit easier, or maybe you just got better at ignoring the pain. Shopping trips with friends…a ski weekend with a group from work…a color run with your girlfriends. You purposely kept yourself busy to keep from thinking too much about Harry, because you doubted he spent nearly as much time thinking about you. It had been a few months since he left. A few months since he said he thought the two of you should breakup.  A few months since his tour began and he left you alone.

As you and your friends toasted to the night, someone spoke up while looking at their phone, and nearly made you choke on your wine.

“Hey, guys! Harry has a show about an hour away tomorrow night. He saw that we were all close by and invited us all to come. Who’s in?” your friend asked.

Your heart jumped and began beating so quickly you felt like vomiting. Four or five friends said they wanted to go, but some looked at you with pity or sadness or whatever the fuck it was, as your best friend grabbed your hand.

“Go ahead, it’s fine,” you insist to them. “I…I’ll go back early. You all go have fun.” They look at you quietly. “I can’t…I’m sorry. But please, don’t feel bad about it. His shows are great. Go enjoy it.”

“I’m not going without you,” your friend says. “You all go on and we’ll head back tomorrow, get in some shopping time,” she smiles at you. You smile slightly.

You were miserable the entire rest of the evening but thought you covered it well. The thought that Harry was only an hour from where you were made you want to run the opposite direction.

I feel your touch when I’m alone at night

But it’s just me who’s holding tight

And this life don’t feel like you

There’s nothing left but these I love you’s

As you finally make it back home, loving on your best friend and sending her off, you welcome the comfort of your bed and a good movie. Looking through the selection of films, trying to decide what you were in the mood for, you feel your phone buzz with a text. Assuming it’s your friend, letting you know she got home safely, you look at your screen…and see it’s from Harry.

‘Are you here at the show? I’d really like to see you.’

You read it over and over, unbelieving that he sent it. How did he expect you to just show up at the show, happy and carefree, after not seeing him in so long? He was the one who wanted the breakup, not you. You didn’t know how to reply to that. You thought hard, biting on your finger, trying to decide how and if to respond, knowing he could see his message was delivered. Finally you reply.

‘No, I’m not. Have a great show.’

Short and sweet. Simple, but direct. Did it sound rude? You didn’t think so.

You waited to see his reply but it never came, only the word “delivered” under your message. Your overactive brain began to panic. Was he upset? Was he mad? Was he sad? Did he even care? Was he just being polite by sending the text? And why the hell were you making yourself sick over this?!

Because you still loved him.

You didn’t hear from Harry again that night or the next day. You determined he was only being nice by sending the text, being polite. Did he think you so fragile that he needed to keep checking on you? Even the next morning after the concert you ditched, you woke to a text from a friend who attended, saying Harry wouldn’t stop asking about you.

Your heart was still broken, but trying to mend. You still cried sometimes, wondering if Harry missed you as much as you missed him. You hated that you still missed him. You wondered if you would ever get over him, or if he had gotten over you as easily as he appeared to.

And I just wanna scream out 'til my voice breaks

Even if the tears fall and my heart hates me

I just wanna know how I can save me

Even if these three words choke and take me

Baby I love you

You welcomed the holiday trip with your friends! Two weeks on a beach in the tropics? Yes, thank you! How you managed the vacation time at work was beyond you, but you ran with it before they could change their minds. When the door on the plane opened and you stepped out onto the steps, you breathed in the fresh air and felt the sunshine on your skin, and knew this was the medicine you needed.

The sun felt good on your skin as you lay on the beach, chatting and enjoying time with friends, listening to the music playing, seeing people enjoying themselves. You suck on your drink, questioning why you didn’t do this more often. Oh, yeah…it took time and money, two things you rarely had at the same time. You looked out at the water, feeling the breeze blow your hair into your face, and smiled, wondering where in this world Harry was and if he was happy. You shake the thought from your head. No getting depressed or melancholic for the next two weeks. Too much fun to be had!

You all decided to go back to the hotel and relax or nap for a bit, knowing you were going to be out late that night at a beach party. You stepped out of the vehicle that took you back to your hotel, and began to walk with your friends, when you heard a familiar voice. You looked up and saw him, hugging one of your mutual friends with a smile on his face, his eyes continually darting toward you.

It was the first time you had seen him since he left. The first time hearing his voice again. The first time you felt that pang in your chest in awhile, or felt your stomach do flips. As Harry said hello to everyone, he walked to you and looked you in your eyes, smiling slightly, his eyes not straying from you.

“Hello, love,” he said, before slowly reaching for your hand, and leaning to kiss your cheek. “You look beautiful.”

You didn’t know what to say. You had a knot in your throat the size of Cleveland, and you were hot and sweaty from the beach. Your first thought was “liar”, but you hoped that even in your state of being, he really did find you beautiful. Best not to get your hopes up, though.

“How are you?” you ask, politely.

He shrugs his shoulders as you think you see a hint of his chin quivering.

“Would it be okay if we talk?” he asked nervously.

You look at him, then look at your group of friends, all quiet and trying not to reveal that they are hanging on your and Harry’s every word and motion. You hesitantly nod.

Harry follows you to your room and walks inside as you open the door, closing it behind him. You set your beach bag on the bed and grab your water bottle for a drink. You glance at Harry again, his eyes still trained on you. Neither of you sit or speak for a moment, then you decide, balls to the wall, to jump in.

“Why are you here, Harry?” you ask him point-blank, looking him dead in the eyes. “Why aren’t you on tour?”

He swallows hard, sensing the irritation in your voice. “We…had a few days break, and one of the guys mentioned you were all here,” he said. “Was hoping to come see you…talk to you.”

“Why?” you ask, firmly.

“Why?” Harry asks. “Love, I’ve tried numerous times over the past few months to talk to you. I’ve texted, I…I’ve called. I even tried to video chat with you, but you would never respond to anything. I needed to see you!”

“Why did you need to see me?” you ask coldly. “Wanted to make sure I was still pining away for you?”

“What?” Harry asks, confused. “No, babe. I…fuck, I miss you. Is that okay?” he asks, trying to keep the discussion from escalating into something more.

You nod, looking at him and saying nothing.

“I’m hoping you miss me, too,” he says sadly. “I thought I could do this, but…”

“You thought you could do this…” you repeat. “You thought it would be easy to leave me. Easy to break my heart then move on.”

“No, I didn’t say that,” he says. “I thought it was the best thing for us!”

“Yes,” you say nodding again. “So you’ve said. But did you care at all about what I thought?”

Harry looked at you questioningly.

“Let me ask you, Harry,” you say, frustrated. “Do you still think it’s what is best for us?”

“No!” Harry says, walking toward you but you move, leaning against a piece of furniture. “No, babe, I don’t. I know better now. Fuck, baby, I…I love you so much. I need you! I’ve been miserable.”

“You’ve been miserable?! Harry, did you once think about what I thought or felt?” you ask, tears welling partly from sadness, partly anger. “Did you ever once think that maybe I had a say in the decision, too?”

Harry realized what you were saying. “No, I guess I didn’t,” he says humbly. “I’m sorry about that, love. I made a mistake…”

“Yes!” you blurt. “Yes, you did. The past few months…have been…” you can’t even finish your sentence from the hurt you are feeling as your throat tightens and shakes. “You. You are the one who decided we shouldn’t be together. You are the one who made that decision, without me. I had no say in it. You decided that…for me.”

“I know, baby,” Harry says. “I’m so…”

“No,” you shake your head. “You don’t just get to apologize and have everything all nice and pretty again. I deserve a hell of a lot more than that.”

“I’ll do anything, sweetheart,” Harry says with begging eyes and heart. “Please…let’s just talk it out…”

You try to listen but somehow your heart feels like it’s breaking all over again. He’s begging you to take him back. He admitted he was wrong and made a mistake. What more could you want from him?

More.

“No,” you say as a tear falls down your cheek. “No.”

You walk to the door and open it and look at him as another tear falls, your lips shaking. Harry can’t believe you want him to leave.

“Baby, no, please,” he begs. “We have to work this out.”

“No,” you say. “YOU have to work this out. I didn’t break your heart. You broke mine. And until you figure out how to fix that, I can’t do…this.” You want nothing more than to throw your arms around him and kiss him, taking him to your bed and spending all the time he has left on his break, showing him how you feel about him. Showing him how much you love him.

Harry allows you to see his tears as you hear his voice catch with a cry. He walks to you and looks at you with the most horrible, sad look on his face, knowing he is feeling the heart break that you’ve been feeling. He places his hand on the side of your face and kisses your cheek as he sobs, your own tears falling but knowing that, for now, this is what you both needed, even if he didn’t agree. You were making the choice this time.

“I love you, baby,” he says, his face leaning against yours. “I love you.”

You let out a quiet sob as he kisses your lips quickly then walks out the door.

I love you

Baby I love you

I love you

Baby I love you

In A Crowd

Rafael Barba x OC

“This is a mistake.”

She uttered the words through the phone but continued walking, one foot after the other with no intention whatsoever of turning around.

“You could be right.”

Her steps slowed at his reply, but her mind began to race.

Maybe he would be the one to call it off, she thought. She gripped the phone tighter. The uncertainty of it all bothered her. At the same time, she wasn’t able to resist her own curiosity.

“Are you still there?”

“Of course.”

“Which part of the park are you in?”

She looked around in search for any landmarks.

“I’m right by the dog statue.”

“The one with the spots?”

 A smile escaped her before she told him that he was right.

“I’m on the North side. Might take a while for me to get to you. There’s still time to change your mind.”

There it was again; a chance to back out. She wondered if the fates were trying to tell her something. She was about to respond but he spoke again.

Keep reading

Music Series: Don’t Leave by Snakehips & MØ

Thank you for the ask, sweet Anon! I’m really enjoying doing the requested stories for my Music Series. I hope it will bring new songs and/or artists to people who don’t know them, and that everyone will enjoy my interpretations through story.

I took a slightly different spin on this song than how I think it was intended when written, but I like how it turned out.

Here is my story for “Don’t Leave” by Snakehips and . You can find this song on Spotify at this link: https://open.spotify.com/track/0Zx8khUcEfCFK2AEoIhC92

xo

Shelli

******************

You know me, now and then, I’m a mess

Please don’t hold that against me

I’m a girl with a temper and heat

I know I can be crazy

“What are you still doing with this girl, H?” Jeffrey asked Harry in frustration. “She’s all wrong for you! You’d have to be blind not to see it!”

“I know,” Harry says, shaking his head. “I don’t know what it is, Jeffrey. I just…”

“You’ve got to lose this girl before she causes you trouble,” Jeffrey insists.

“Jeff, you just don’t understand,” Harry insists. “She’s…” Harry sighs heavily. “She has some kind of hold on me that I can’t explain.”

“Hold of what part of you?” Jeffrey snipes and Harry shoots him a look. “It’s sex, H. And I can’t imagine it being so amazing that it’s worth how crazy she is.”

“You have no idea,” Harry says, closing his eyes.

“The sex or the crazy?” Jeffrey says.

But I’m not just a fuck-up, I’m the fuck-up you need

I don’t hear nobody when you focus on me

Perfectly imperfect, yeah, I hope that you see

Tell me you see ‘Cause I know that you’ve been thinking 'bout it

You hear Harry moan loudly in your ear as he pounds you into the wall, sunk completely inside of you with each thrust. You bite his lip, tugging it, nearly causing blood before releasing it and biting his neck, sucking until the blood at the surface of his skin is a dark purple.

“Fuck!” he yells loudly.

You shove him backwards as he falls on the bed, climbing on top of him and swallowing him with your hot, wetness. You grind on him, knowing he wants it slowly at first so he can last longer, but you quickly speed your motions, wanting as many orgasms as you can manage while he’s a tower inside of you. You grab your breasts, the feeling of him inside of you so deeply making you crazy, before you feel his hands on your hips, lifting you off of him quickly, as he gives you a look of not pushing him.

“What’s wrong, baby?” you tease and smile. “Am I too much for you?”

He breathes heavily before quickly pulling your body higher until he brings your wet heat down onto his face, letting you know exactly what he thinks.

Don’t leave, shut your mind off and let your heart breathe

You don’t need to be worried. I may not ever get my shit together

But ain’t nobody gonna love you better

Don’t go, what we have here is irreplaceable

No, I won’t trade this for nothing

I may not ever get my shit together

But ain’t nobody gonna love you better than me, yeah

Love you better than me

“I don’t know what this power is that you have over me, love…but I can’t seem to say no to you,” he says breathless, lying sweaty and panting on his back in the bed.

“Good!” you state, trying to catch your own breath. “Shouldn’t be saying no to me anyway. Love it, don’t we?”

“Babe, you know we’re not good for each other,” Harry admits. “I have to be careful of how I’m perceived for my career, and you don’t give a flying fuck what people think of you. Oil and water, love.”

“You don’t give a flying fuck what people think of you, either!” you berate. “You just follow the rules anyway. Besides…you’ll never find anyone who’s gonna love you better than I can. What we have is amazing.” You roll over and climb back onto Harry and began seducing him again. “Don’t leave, baby.”

“Love, no,” he starts, but you don’t let up as you kiss him passionately, rubbing your body against his, and soon finding him unable to control himself once again.

In a room full of people with you

I don’t see anybody else, no

When we fight, and you’re right

So sorry, I make it just so difficult

Harry was nervous when he saw you at his gig, looking at Jeffrey, knowing he was going to get yelled at later for it. Harry quickly walked to where you were, pulling you into a dark hallway.

“What are you doing here? I though we decided you’d stay home for this one. Jeffrey’s in a mood lately,” he says, noticing how sexy you look in your short dress and thigh-high boots.

“No, you decided I’d stay home, not me,” you smile as you kiss his jaw, your hand grabbing his crotch as he instinctively pulls away sharply.

“Oh my god, baby, don’t do this, not right now, please,” he begs, but you already see the look in his eyes changing, as you continue rubbing his growing protrusion. You feel his hands grab your ass roughly under your skirt as you kiss him fiercely.

“Just a little, baby,” you whisper in his ear. “You have time. Want you primed for your show, don’t we?”

Harry looks at you with love or lust, he wasn’t sure which, and thought maybe both. You hear him groan in desire as he kisses you deeply, his hand finding you and cupping you, already feeling your growing heat, panties soaked. Harry grabs your hand, pulling you into a little room and slamming the door closed.

“Turn around,” he says quietly. “Fuckin’ turn around!” he orders, moving behind you as you face the door of the little room. You hear Harry unzip his pants, then send chills through you as he speaks against your ear. “Been a fuckin’ bad girl, darlin’. Gonna have to teach you a lesson.”

Your breathing become rapid as he manipulates your body as he desires, a smile on your face the whole time.

Sitting in the living room, You look at me, I stare at you

I see the doubt, I see the love, I have and it is all for you

Let me wrap myself around you, baby

Let me tell you you are everything, you are

Losing my words, I don’t know where to start

Need to talk, be there shortly’, was all the text from Harry said.

You knew what was coming. Harry tried to convince you regularly that you were wrong for each other, that what you had together was only physical, prompted from his management, you were sure, but you knew deep down, that you both felt it was more.

As he sat on your sofa with a cushion in between his body and yours, you sat staring at each other. You knew where he was coming from. You knew what he dealt with in his life, and if word got around that he was dating you, it would be like shit hitting a fan. But for weeks and weeks the two of you had been managing to keep your relationship private, and you knew he was enjoying it just as much as you. You weren’t exactly sure that either of you were in love…at least not yet…but there was definitely more there than just sex.

“I think it’s best if we not see each other anymore,” Harry says bluntly, as if he had been rehearsing it over and over again to be able to say it plainly and clearly.

“Do you?” you ask with raised eyebrows. You see him look at you. “Okay, so leave,” you say calmly.

He looks at you confused. “What?”

“I don’t want you to leave, but I’m not going to keep you here if you don’t want to be with me,” you reply.

“I just think…” he starts.

“Do you?” you ask again. “Do you think we’re not good together, Harry? Or does your manager think it? Or someone you work with…because I’ve not really met anyone for them to be able to judge me honestly. You keep me hidden away from everyone.”

He frowns slightly, feeling a bit badly about that.

“I can’t concentrate when I’m around you, babe,” Harry admits. “You’re…well, a distraction, if I’m honest.”

“Hm. Okay, let me ask you this…” you begin. “When you’re writing, and you’re stuck, feeling like you can’t…create, what do you do?”

Harry thinks. “I usually either go for a walk or a run, go to the gym, listen to some music, have some food…and I’m usually good after that and it starts flowing again. Why?”

“So you give yourself a distraction, and become creative again?” you ask him. He realizes you outsmarted him and he smiles. “Distractions aren’t always a bad thing, baby.”

He looks at you intensely, knowing he should leave, but that draw…the pull…that has always been there, keeping your hold over him…he’s too weak to it.

“I’ve told you before, Harry,” you say, keeping your distance on the sofa. “Nobody will ever love you better than I will. Nobody will ever make you feel the way I make you feel, I promise you that. If you’re willing to take that risk, lose that and maybe never find it again…then leave. No hard feelings.”

You watch him as he is mulling your words around in your mind. You see his jaw tense and his breathing increase, as he gets that familiar look in his eye. As if he were a wild animal pouncing its prey, Harry leaps across the sofa and onto you, making no mistake at what he wants.

He’s going nowhere…..

Don’t go, What we have here is irreplaceable

No, I won’t trade this for nothing

I may not ever get my shit together

But ain’t nobody gonna love you better than me, yeah

Love you better than me

Music Series: Feel Good by Gryffin, Illenium, ft. Daya

Loving these requests! Thank you to the above Anon for this one. I hadn’t heard this apparently, but I looked it up and learned that Gryffin was trained as a classical pianist like I was (he since the age of 7 and me since 3), and now he makes electronic music with freakin’ Daya! I hope someday I can make money with my writing and/or songwriting.

Until then, I bring you my creations here. This story is the inspiration of “Feel Good” by Gryffin and Illenium featuring Daya. Link to the song on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0Ev562zA4pmUsBqjxsxxdx

p.s. I hope you will all keep sending your requests! They are starting to come into my inbox at a nice clip, so I will get to them as quickly as I can. Thank you!

Enjoy! xo

Shelli

******************

Yeah, I doubt, I doubt myself, and I’m too proud to ask for help

When you see me beside myself, I don’t have to explain it, baby

Yeah, I’m over picking fights and tryna mend it with the high

Don’t wanna know that I’m not right. I know that I’ve been lately, lately

You were so nervous about this job interview. It had been two months since you lost your last job due to company downsizing, and you were beginning to feel the stress. Interviews were difficult to come by, even with your education and experience, but you were determined to find a job. You had a little money in the bank, not enough to cover the next month’s bills, and your savings was dipping low. If you didn’t find a job soon, you didn’t know what you were going to do.

Harry wanted to take you to your interview, knowing how nervous you were, to try and keep you calm and focused, and he knew if you had to take public transportation, your stress levels would be soaring by the time you arrived.

As you pulled up in front of the building, you took a deep breath and exhaled loudly, wiping your hands on your clothes to dry them.

“Don’t do that!” Harry scolded. “You’re going to leave sweaty handprints on your clothes!”

“You’d rather I shake their hands with my sweaty ones?” you ask, nervously.

“Here,” he said, reaching into his glove box, pulling out a handkerchief and handing it to you. “Put it in your handbag and use it before you go in.”

“Thank you,” you say, so nervous you’re nauseous. “I feel sick.”

“You’ll be fine, babe,” Harry says, assuredly. “Don’t worry on it. You’ll wow them. And if for some reason it doesn’t work out, there will be other interviews, other jobs.”

You look at him like you no longer believe it.

“I promise, sweetheart,” he says, caressing your cheek with his hand. “You’ll do fine.” He leans to you and kisses you sweetly, then grabs your hand with a smile. “Oh….handkerchief…” he says, feeling the sweat on your hands and giggling.

Yeah, sometimes I need someone to pick me up

Overdose my mind with the things I love

You can take me there, where my heart beats

Where my heart beats free

This day could not possibly get any worse! you cried. Not only did you get the call saying you were not chosen for the job, but you also ruined your favorite dress, broke a heel on your shoe, and found a paper posted on your door that morning, saying if you did not pay your rent within 7 days, you would be evicted. Why was it that when one thing went wrong, everything did?

You looked at the paper, reading and re-reading it several times. You tried calling the property manager and explaining the situation, but it didn’t help. You didn’t like asking people for help, and you didn’t want to ask Harry. He was always so good to you anyway. How could you ask for more from him?

You stood at your kitchen counter, looking at the paper and crying into your hands. You were lost and didn’t know what options you even had. As you wiped your face with the kitchen towel, you heard keys jingle, the front door open, and Harry’s voice.

“Baby? You home?” he yells.

Take my hand in the middle of a crisis

Pull me close, show me, baby, where the light is

I was scared of a heart I couldn’t silence

But you make me, you make me feel good, I like it

You quickly splash some cold water on your face and dry it, as he walks into the kitchen. You sniff and fold the towel. He already senses something is wrong. You see the red paper out of the corner of your eye and quickly begin to fold it into your hand, then turn and look at Harry. He sees the red splotches on your face from crying.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” he asks, wrapping his arms around you and you welcome the comfort.

You take a deep breath. “I didn’t get the job.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, love,” he says, kissing your head and caressing you. “Something will come up soon. I just know it will.” You nod as you wipe another tear and sniff again. “Their loss anyway.”

You accept his love and care for a long moment.

“Knock knock,” you hear him say.

“Harry…” you shake your head slightly.

“Don’t be rude, love…Knock, Knock.”

“Who’s there?” you ask solemnly.

“Al.”

“Al who?”

Already giggling…”Al give you a kiss if you come back to my place with me?”

You giggle as you kiss him and he hugs you tightly.

“That’s my pet,” he says. “Now, go pack a bag. You’re coming to my house for a couple of days. Have the day off tomorrow. Bring your swimsuit and we’ll go get some food and something to drink.”

You nod, giving him a firm kiss on his lips, letting him know how much you appreciate and love him. You walk past him, dropping the red paper into the small desk waste bin, then go upstairs to pack a bag. Harry walks to the waste bin, pulling it out and reading it, then looks at the stairs, feeling terrible for you.

Yeah, I get over-overwhelmed when all these problems burn like hell

Maybe I just need a friend who never calls me crazy, crazy

As the two of you lay in the big double lounger by the pool, drinking your glasses of wine, Harry sees you are extra quiet.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you say, more sadly sounding than you intended.

You feel Harry’s hand hold yours, his fingers lacing into yours.

“Love, do you trust me?” he asks.

You look at him questioningly.

“With my life!” you say, as he grins proudly. “Why?”

“Because I want to tell you something, and then ask you a favor, and I want you to agree with me on it,” he says bluntly.

“Alright,” you say to him, curiously. “Go on.”

He looks at you, then reaches down to the ground, grabbing something he had sat there earlier. You see him pull out the red paper and unfold it, showing it to you. He watches as your face drains a bit and you look like you’re going to cry.

You pull me off the front line before I run

Keep me cool, but not get overdone

You can take me there, where my heart beats

Where my heart beats free

“I wish you had told me you needed money,” Harry tells you softly. “I know how you are. You don’t like asking for help, but babe, sometimes you need to.” You nod, wiping a tear. “And I’m going to help you. I want you to let me.”

You say nothing, looking at the paper then at your drink.

“I called the property manager while you were changing, and I paid what was due,” Harry said deliberately. You look at him in surprise. “And I found your past due bills on your desk, and tomorrow I’m going to bring them all up to date.” You catch your breath at how generous he is with you and you can’t stop your tears, covering your face with your hand. He squeezes your other hand, kissing your cheek.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he says. “It’s not your fault you’ve not yet found a job. You work so hard searching, I’ve seen you. It’s just how circumstances are right now.”

You nod and wipe your face. “Thank you. For doing that. I don’t know how to repay you.”

“I do,” he quickly adds. “It’s the favor I want to ask of you.”

“Anything,” you say to him, sniffing and using your towel to wipe your nose slightly.

“I paid up to date, and gave your landlord notice,” he says honestly. “I’m not paying next month.”

You nod, thankful for all he’s done, but not knowing how to pay the next month’s rent.

“It’s okay,” you grin. “I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me.”

“Love, I didn’t pay it, because I want you to move in here with me,” he says. “We’re always together anyway, living either here or there. So just…live here with me. Will you?”

Taking the weights off, to help with the pressure

And I was here stressing, thinking it mattered

Been with you for hours, but it feels like seconds

It’s only moments and I’m in heaven. You make me feel good

You cry again, unbelieving how much Harry must love you to do all of that for you, wanting to support you while you find a job, and wanting you to live with him. You always knew Harry was a beautiful soul and a genuinely good person, but in that moment, your heart loved him more than you ever had before.

Harry wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close and holding you, showing you that you didn’t have to worry anymore, didn’t have to be scared anymore as to what the next day may hold. He wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to keep you happy. And he knew you loved him just as much as he loved you.

Take my hand in the middle of a crisis

Pull me close, show me, baby, where the light is

I was scared of a heart I couldn’t silence

But you make me, you make me feel good, I like it

Bored of being told to listen to classical music? Here is a list of great study music from your favorite video games, movies and more. 

aesthetics and smooth

video games

ambient sounds

from the screen

acoustics / bands (with lyrics)

* personal favorites 

Burr: Hamilton doesn’t hesitate, he ex-

Hamilton: dAmN riGht I DonT!🤑✍🏻 hesitate? NEVer 🖕✏️💰 I will never 🏋🏻‍♀️ STOP! 🚦🚀 you goTta WErK 👍 if you want to SuCcEd! 🎖🏆 i will WRitE,, till my DamN FIngeRs fall off 😩 if that’s what it TAKES to WIN‼️ I am an orpHan 👉🏼 👪 ❓❌ i DOnt nEED a FAmIlY 😜👏🏼 when I GoT MY TOp nOtCh bRAIn ‼️I WilL SPeaK 🗣 mY MiNd 😈👌🏼 ANd NeVEr BacK DoWn😎💗 FREeDom fOr aMERICA 🇺🇸🗽 JusT Do IT ✔️🎵

The Room Where It Happens
  • Jefferson: I arranged the menu, the venue, the seating.
  • Hamilton: we're eating mac n' cheese at your house and Madison is sitting in your lap.
  • Jefferson: i ARranGeD tHe MeNU thE VenUe tHe SeaTiNG