music makes me ramble

my mom watches her shows in the family room of our house where everyone is always hanging out and sometimes theres a (hetero) sex scene in whatever she’s watching and no matter how explicit or non explicit it is no one cares. its not a big deal. i mean its a little weird sometimes to just listen to really bad moaning for a solid minute but its not like she changes the channel or anything its just part of the show.

but me? i flinch when i’m watching two girls on my laptop and someone walks by or enters the room. not sex with two girls just. two girls. thats all. i pause the video and i wait for them to leave, my heart beating really fast. im not even in the closet. if the girls kiss i feel like i have to hide my screen and make sure no one saw i was watching that. 

i hate this more than anything

“I am beginning to fear that some aspect of my professionalism is keeping me at odds with my lord and lady. Just the other day, I over heard Lady Lissa mention that I had a stick up my rear end. At the time, I thought that I must have sat on something and neglected to notice a stray branch sticking out of my pantaloons. When I went to check, milord invited me to go to a tavern to drink with Vaike, Gaius, and Sully. Then Vaike mentioned something about… releasing the beast. 

Obviously, I was concerned that some kind of terrible animal had been let loose in camp, so I declined their offer and went off to search for it. I spent the better part of six hours tracking what I eventually learned was Panne, before the four of them came back roaring drunk. When milord asked me what I was doing, I told him that I was trying to find the beast that Vaike had released. Sully snidely stated that it had gone over my head, and I replied that such a thing was impossible… my reflexes are too fast.

The four then burst out in hysterical laughter and I spent the rest of the evening nursing my inebriated lord back to a stable state of mind for the next day’s war council meeting. *Sigh* Perhaps I am out of touch… but if that beast ever rears its ugly head near milord or lady in the future, I shall be there to catch it.”