I was laying in my bed, ice against my suffering jaw, pain pulsing through my entire body when suddenly I heard my neighbor sing and play the piano. I became more and more award of the music that I forgot the pain. Then I realized how much music means to me and how much my instrument saved me. That before I discovered my passion for music, I was an empty soul. I met so many great people because of music camp and orchestra and I’ve gone so far in only one year. Maybe it’s because I’m under heavy painkillers but I’m suddenly really hyped about my future in music and I hope I never forget how much I’m in love with what I study!
[TRANS] BTS Japan Official Fanclub Magazine - Suga’s Biography
A mischievous kid growing up into a boy who enjoys reading
I was born in Daegu in the South, the third biggest city of Korean, and grew up there until I came up to Seoul. When I was young, I was pretty much an ordinary kid. I loved playing around so my kindergarten teacher didn’t seem to like me. (laughs) I remember being scolded “It’s dangerous!” a lot. I also loved sports and was good at running, to the point of being picked as a relay runner from elementary school all the way up to high school. When it comes to studying, I’m slightly above average.
I used to love playing outside with friends back then, but I changed as I grew up. Even when we went outside, it wasn’t like we did anything, we just gathered at the park. I wasn’t fond of that so many times I just stayed at home on weekends. My mother told me to go outside and meet my friends sometimes. (laughs)
I had a thing for collecting, so I collected a lot of books when I was young. It was a time when I wanted to be a cultured man, wanted to pretend I know things too. Mature stuffs that didn’t suit my age or novels, poetry books, essays, newspapers,… I read everything regardless of genre. I don’t know why but up till middle school, I had the habit of reading books from the back page. I still read books sometimes now. My reading speed gets faster by reading multiple sentences at a time.
Memories of first love from elementary school… I really don’t have any. Unlike Seoul, the provinces are conservative, and my school didn’t have that kind of atmosphere in which boys and girls talk to each other. If I was with a girl, I would become really shy and wouldn’t even say a word.
The encounter with hip hop
Started composing in middle school
I started to be interested in music in 5th year of elementary school, while watching the performance of “Stony Skunk”, Korean artists, on TV. It was the prime of ballad back then so if 18 teams perform on a music program, 10 would sing ballads, 5 would be idols and the other 3 would be other genres. They were one of those 3 teams. It was so cool how they were different from other singers. Up until then, I didn’t have any interest in music, but with Stony Skunk, I started listening to hip hop and reggae music, and was influenced by Epik High as well. MP3 player was starting to come out at that time, but I bought a Panasonic CD player and listened with that.
Along with listening to music, I also started writing music at the same time. It wasn’t like someone told me to do it, I just had the thought of having to do so. I started writing rap lyrics in elementary school and started composing after I went to middle school. Back then, no one around me liked hiphop… It became extremely popular in Korea now but when I first started listening to it, hip hop was a genre once popular a long time ago. I think there probably wasn’t anyone on the streets who raps, except for me. If I rap at the karaoke room, it would just become some kind of sound to my friends. You know the moving hand gestures that are hip hop’s specialty? I was picked on for that too.
Despite that, I still kept liking hip hop and in my 2nd year of middle school, I went on the stage for the first time at a festival. I performed Dynamic Duo’s “Go Back” with a friend. I didn’t like standing in front of people, but at that time, I only felt like I have to do it. I showed the rap that I practice too, although it wasn’t anything great. (laughs)
Actually in middle school, I wanted to go to an arts high school so I composed classical music. But the tuition was too expensive so I ended up just going to a regular high school. I told my father “I have done enough music now so I’ll study hard in high school” and went to that school, but of course I didn’t. (laughs)
Full-fledged activities as a rapper after joining a crew in town
Middle school years was when I composed music to satisfy myself only, on a hobby level. It was after I changed the MIDI software that I started full-fledgedly making music. In 1st year of high school, I showed my song to a person that was like a mentor to me, and he liked it a lot. I was introduced to a hip hop crew called “D-town” and joined. That song had the feeling of new-age music but had hip hop beats similar to Nujabes. For your information, the mentor that acknowledged me studied at Berklee College of Music and is currently working as a movie music director.
I think I started rapping properly after joining the crew. I have been rapping since elementary school, but since there wasn’t anyone who raps around me, I thought I was the best. (laughs)
After that, I came to the Daegu underground scene, and from then, I also got to know that you can’t make a living out of music in the underground scene. Most of the hyungs who made music with me that time was about 10 years older than me, there were also people over 30. They worked part-time jobs and made music at the same time, but it seemed very hard. Even when performing live, it was already a huge deal to have 100 audiences, and I hated that fact. I thought “If I success, could I be the liaison of the underground scene?”. There are plenty of people who make good music in the underground scene, so I thought when I become famous, I want to create a better environment for them, I want to show their music to the world.
Just then, I knew Big Hit was holding an audition in Daegu. I came there knowing nothing but that it was a company formed by composer Bang Shihyuk, but I was told that I was accepted the next day. I heard it later that when he saw me, he immediately thought of letting me pass. Even though I wasn’t good at rapping that time. (laughs)
Coming up to Seoul after becoming a trainee
Different from first thought…!?
I came to Seoul on November 7th, 2010, when I was in 2nd year of high school. I still remember it now.
I joined to company not to rap, but to become a composer. So I thought I didn’t need to dance, and let people who are good at rapping rap, I just needed to follow the producer path. But it became a totally different thing. (laughs) At that time, rather than idols, the company was planning to create a group consisting of rappers, but that changed. The members were Rap Monster, J-hope and me. There were also Supreme Boy, i11even-hyung who is now active in the underground scene and Iron-hyung who made it to the finals of Show Me The Money 3. I think if we debut like that, despite being good at rapping, we would fail. (laughs)
Rapper & producer
The future Suga thinks of as a goal
My 4-year-older brother plays a very big role in letting me be able to walk on the music path like this. He started liking hip hop under my influence, but when I came to the audition, everyone in my family opposed it except for my brother. They didn’t view music activities nicely, even my relatives told me “What music for you, go study.” So I only showed my songs to him. He was the first person I informed that I passed the audition too. Our relationship is so good that we’re like friends. I basically don’t drink alcohol, but I drink it with him only.
My family all support me now, of course. Even the relatives that told me to study ask for my signatures. (laughs)
These days, I have thoughts about wanting to also be active as a producer. I have no greed of being in the center, I just want to make music. I don’t have interest towards the entertainment world too, everyone says they want to act, or to go on variety shows, but I don’t want to do those. (laughs) But still, the first thing is to make BTS get 1st place in Korea as well as Japan. And myself too, I want to be the best rapper, the best producer. I don’t know if it would take time, but I have to try.
Something Ive never seen considered in the OW fandom or lore:
The Shimada bros playing traditional Japanese instruments
like just imagine the princes of the shimada clan playing haru no umi on a koto and shakuhachi…
i bet hanzo wouldve played the koto and genji the shakuhachi
I finally got to talk with the Chair of the Music Department about my interest in the Compostion option! Woot. Woot! Told me to begin composing as soon as possible, and the bunch of classes I’m going to have to take the next couple of semesters!
Today I would like to discuss what I find to be the most irritating of dyspraxia symptoms: The sensory overload. If you have autism or know someone with autism, you may know a bit about it already.
Sensory overloads are when your brain randomly decides to become a million times more sensitive than normal. So, everything you see, hear, feel, taste, and smell is magnified. People with dyspraxia and/or an autism spectrum condition may find that they are naturally more sensitive to these things anyway- it varies with me. Sometimes I’m supersensitive and sometimes I’m quite comfortable.
Sometimes my overloads can be this severe when my anxiety is playing up. This is VERY close to reality; the tunnel-vision, blurriness, screechy sounds are all what I experience if I’m having a bad day.
Sometimes, though, my overloads aren’t quite that severe but they still really limit me from doing what I want to do. They don’t end up in a panic attack or a shut-down, but they DO make me horrendously grumpy and unable to focus. For instance, some days I can be studying, at home, or in the library, very comfortably, listening to Beethoven’s 9th (my go-to study music), sipping tea.
Today, THIS is what I am experiencing.
I can’t read with the music playing
I can’t listen to the music if I’m looking at words
Those violins sound scratchy and the tune is so happy, it’s just cheesy, why do I even like this crap
Can everyone STOP DRIVING PAST MY HOUSE IT IS DISTRACTING (of course they can’t because I live on a main road)
I can’t get comfortable- my sock is on wrong, I can feel my hair on the back of my ear and it’s annoying me, I don’t like the shape of this chair
Every time I take a sip of tea it leaves a funny taste in my mouth and I can’t concentrate because it feels funny
I don’t like having two books open it feels weird they’re not in the right place and I keep having to move them
There is a THING THERE and I can’t stop looking at the THING. I need to move the thing so I can concentrate.
I CAN SEE THE WHITE GAPS BETWEEN THE WORD AND THEY’RE MAKING FUNNY SHAPES (<– also a symptom of dyslexia)
Why is my handwriting weird. Why does that “f” look different from the other “f” why can’t I write consistently
THIS PEN FEELS FUNNY why can’t it be a round pen? Do I have a round pen.
Yes, but it’s blue. Blue is annoying me today. I don’t like writing in blueeee it looks wrooonnnnggggggg
Ugh to heck with this I’m going on Tumblr.
So there you have it. The mild yet insanely irritating sensory overload. Remember what I said about the invisible gremlins? I feel like on days like these, the gremlins are purposefully shifting things, brightening lights, making things awkward. Do any of you with dyspraxia or autism spectrum conditions feel the same?
I’m a huge fan of 8tracks so I decided to show you some of my fav study and writing playlists. There are different kinds of music from only instrumental to punk rock. I hope you’ll find something for yourself.
On September 21, 2004, the landscape of the music world changed. I can’t oversell to you how big of a deal American Idiot was, almost immediately upon release, and how influential it has been since. It actually hasn’t sold as many copies of Dookie, at least not within the states (I’m unsure of international numbers). But, my god, its impact.
I was 15 years old when American Idiot was released. It felt like I went to bed one night, exhausted from the uncontrollable emotions roiling through me all the time, and the constant feeling of the world as I experienced it being about a foot to the right of where I was told it was supposed to be and twisted right around besides, and fighting with my parents again, and woke up the next morning with an hour-long opera explaining exactly how I felt and telling me I wasn’t alone. Almost everyone I knew felt pretty much exactly the same about it.
On September 22 I went to the record store downtown (when I was supposed to be crossing town to get to my mother’s house - there was another fight that night), the independent one run by a girl I’d gone to elementary school with’s father, the one that wasn’t full of people impossibly prettier and smarter and cooler than me, and I bought myself American Idiot. It was Jenette’s dad at the counter (he liked me because I - who had been bullied horribly all through grade school - had always been nice to his daughter, who had undergone the same treatment by our peers), and as he rung me in he said, “this is going to be huge. I can tell already. This is gonna be your guys’ “Fortunate Son”.”
I didn’t know much of anything about the Vietnam war yet, but I knew who Creedence Clearwater Revival were - one of my dads’ favourite bands - and I knew what protest music was - I was taught English and Social Studies by a conscientious objector who showed us Michael Moore videos instead of teaching us about the feudal system, and who assigned a final project based around Bob Dylan’s blistering expose of anti-black police prejudice, “Hurricane.”
“Hurricane” and “Fortunate Son” are both good songs to compare to American Idiot, actually. When we think of the height of protest music, it’s tempting to think of the sixties and flower children, that sort of emphasis on ‘peace, love and understanding’ and the sort of hazy bliss that can only come from the massive amounts of marijuana and LSD consumed by that generation - more “the answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind” than “kill all the fags that don’t agree.” But in “Hurricane” a white cop says to a white career criminal about an innocent black boxer they are trying to get the criminal to testify falsely against, “you’ll only be doing society a favour / that sonofabitch is brave and getting braver,” and the lyrics of “Fortunate Son” would fit right in as a b-side to, say, “Holiday.”
What I’m saying is that there is and was and always has been a subgenre of protest music that is angry, and bitter, and confrontational. But it never exploded into the mainstream before in the way it did with American Idiot. The hippies were already drifting apart, their dreams lost or soured the way Joan Didion described in Slouching Towards Bethlehem before those who remained political turned really angry. and although in the 70s the first wave of punk and The Clash in particular brought forward the same fury, they didn’t reach the same vast audience that American Idiot did.
I think this comes down to how, like I said, basically an entire generation saw themselves in this album. Billie Joe’s lyrics aren’t just political, they’re personal too, and they tell a story all too recognizable for many of us - suburban boredom and disenfranchisement, the search for some sort of meaning in a world that increasingly feels like it’s spiraling out of control, a mistrust of government and big business and even the things our parents are telling us with no real idea of how to change any of it, yet, and an overwhelming feeling of confusion and underepresentation and, yeah, anger. It’s the story that runs through the album, of young punks and love and loss that brings the whole thing home for a lot of people, taking the larger, aimless fury and making it recognizable again. That recognition built into a cultural juggernaut, affecting and being affected by everything from the shape of mainstream music to the Bush administration’s steadily declining approval throughout the mid-2000s.
In October 2004, Billie Joe Armstrong told Alternative Press, “everybody just sorta feels like they don’t know where their future is heading right now, ya know?” and reading it I thought, yeah, Billie Joe, I know. It was the first time I felt like someone was willing to admit that, instead of just pretending like everything would be fine if we just kept telling the same stories to each other and insisting they were true.
Musically, American Idiot’ s influence has been massive. It basically singlehandedly issued in the second wave of pop-punk, with bands like My Chemical Romance, Fall Out Boy and Good Charlotte breaking in its wake. It even revived the concept album (for better or worse), and its influence reached so far off the beaten punk path as to become a Broadway musical, of all things.
Welcome to day four. Today we’re all about American Idiot.
I learned your body when it was young. every scar, every dimple, every pore, every hair string, every marking, every freckle, every imperfectness, every red spot, every black dot, every shade of its soft sheen in the dark
the noctilucent body
its glow in the light
learned so well
not merely familiar–known by heart, via fingertips
it is translated perfectly
into numb Braille
I know your body far better than my own
for while I never paid attention, much less stared at my own body naked,
yours was always naked under the clothes to me
and I studied it avidly, like a musical instrument.
and what a musical instrument it has been!
one has to make use of one’s fingers, lungs, tongue, and spine in order to make it emit the sounds that make one’s soul weep and in the elated self-forgetfulness rise, momentously elevated, to where the cry disperses into laughter and the laughter drops precariously into the desperate cry
that can’t contain itself
brimming with such pleasure and torment
ran a great many sensorial experiments both in my imagination and in what appeared to be reality
and how your body underwent growth
in front of my eyes and under my fingers
all these years you were getting thankfully and beautifully older
I can’t imagine relinquishing your body to death.
cannot imagine releasing you into nothingness
or even into a separate existence.
for your body is mine. your body is more than my property–
or a means of human music–
a member of my body.
the calendar is just… such a good song. solid. dependable. fun to sing/cry along to. the perfectly off-key music box tune at the beginning. the repetition of “only for you, only for you”. the parallels back to the theme of summer in pretty odd. the line “there is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends”. the high notes in the 2nd verse and in each chorus. the perfect melody of the bridge and the crescendo of “asleep in the hive”. the fucking line “at night your body is a symphony, and i’m conducting”. the orchestral part blending seamlessly into those background vocalizations before the last chorus. THE LAST CHORUS where his voice gets even more powerful before softly going back to “but only for you”. the “YEAH!” before the last layered “only for you” lines. the elevator music outro. god what a classic
hey this is my first fanfiction ever so please don’t kill me lol and it’s such a creative name hah I didn’t know what to name it but it’s just a fluff oneshot really, I don’t really know what this will categorize into oops and it’s a Reggie x Female Reader yay! Also please send me request I’m open for anything :)
Words - 1,237
Warnings - cussing oops
I woke up to several messages by my boyfriend of 10 months. I
clicked my phone on and saw his name.
That was the name that popped up on my phone. I never called
him by Reggie, not since 6th grade when I found out his last name. I
unlocked my phone and read the texts he sent me.
sister keeps crying I can’t sleep my mom is literally so tired im gonna take
over for her :/ ” delivered at 2:00 AM
Reggie’s mom had a baby just 2 months ago, I come over to
babysit with Reggie every once and a while when her hands were full. I knew
having a little sister made his family sleep deprived, and it showed during
luck lol” delivered at 2:00 AM
“I wish u
were here, u have the magic touch when it comes to her, she wont stop crying.” delivered
at 2:01 AM
“oh god she’s
needs a diaper change” delivered at 2:02
I facetimed him to see if he was okay.
“Mantle, you woke me up with your texts and I wanted to see
if you were okay.”
I heard the sound of Julia crying at the top of her lungs
through the phone.
“Julia hush please, I have school tomorrow and this really
big test come on give me a break. (Y/N) I need you right about now, my mom and
dad won’t mind, actually they might, but my parents like you too much and mom
knows you can calm Julia down just like she can.” He whispers.
“Aw Mantle you know if I could I would, my mom is way too
strict to let me go anywhere at this time.” I say looking at him trying to
carry Julia and hold the phone at the same time. “please don’t drop the baby,
put your phone down!” I tell him groggily.
“(Y/N) go to sleep.” he mumbled. “I need both of my girls happy and healthy.”
“You need it more than me. You have that huge ass test in 1st
period!” I exclaim.
“Hanging up now (Y/N), I won’t pick up if you call. Baby go
to sleep I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” He replies.
“But-“ I soon got cut off by him hanging up.”
I text him right after.
ihy right?” sent at 2:34 AM
Mantle replies with,
“I love you
With that I soon fall asleep.
I woke up suddenly to my alarm which read
7:35 AM (Y/N)
get ur ass up
I got up quite lazily and began to do my morning routine.
A few moments later I go downstairs and greet my mom and dad.
They know Reggie picks me up for school every morning so they are used to him.
Then my phone vibrates.
“I’m coming up to your house now” delivered at 7:54 AM
“Mom, dad, Reggie is coming up to get me.” I only ever called
him Reggie in front of my parents and his.
My parents nod in response. Then as if on cue I hear familiar
knocks and open the door to a very cute but tired Mantle.
“Hello Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N)”
“Good morning Reggie, nice to see you again.” My mom says. My
dad nods in response I still don’t think he is very comfortable with Mantle
“(Y/N) you ready?” he asks.
“Yeah just let me grab my backpack.” I smile sweetly.
After grabbing my stuff, I say a quick goodbye to my parents
and Mantle does the same, in a kiss ass way, he wants my parents to like him,
not just tolerate him, but I know they like him well, at least mom does, dad is
While walking up to his car I ask him,
“Did you get any sleep? Did you eat? How’s your mom?”
He chuckles and says, “I got a solid 4 hour nap, no I didn’t
eat, my mom is stressed but is doing a lot better I’ll tell her you’re thinking
about her. Also do you want to pick up
“Mm yes please, I’ll go in and get them.” I say excitedly.
“(Y/N) I got it keep your money.” He says while opening the
door for me to get in.
“Ha, you’re funny you literally paid the last 3 times.” I exclaim.
“Fine, (Y/N) only because I have no energy to argue with you,
but little missy I’m paying the next time, and next time, and next time.” He
grins while closing the door.
“Thank you.” I mouth while he goes to the driver’s seat.
Soon enough he’s in the car holding my hand while the other
one on the wheel, I happily hand feed him donuts with my free hand. We soon
walk into school and are greeted by Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead.
“Hey guys, and Suicide
Squad.” He smirks looking at Jughead.
I elbow him and glared at Reg harshly.
“Sorry.” He says immediately, I smile.
“Hey (Y/N) and Reggie.” Veronica, Betty, and Archie say while
Jughead rolls his eyes saying Reggie’s name.
“I still wonder how you two ever got together, you both are
so different but yet are perfect for each other.” Jughead admits.
The rest of the gang gives little statements agreeing to
As if on cue, the bell rings for first period. Reggie walks
me down to my class like he always does, hand in hand firmly.
“I’ll see you at lunch yeah?” I say to him tip toeing to peck
him on the cheek.
“Of course (Y/N) I wonder why you even ask.” He replies
Class went by so slow, Cheryl was in most of my classes,
which did made it somewhat bearable. We’d always laugh at stupid little jokes.
Soon enough it was time for our hour lunch, we had an hour
because we could go to tutoring or something for part of the lunch and eat.
Everybody ate lunch at the same time. I meet up Mantle and he’s talking to
Moose and his gang about whatever it is they talk about and I steal him away
We sneaked food into the library and picked our usual spot on
the floor, since the library is packed for the hour lunch and there were
usually no seats at the table he puts his bag down and plugs his charger to the
outlet we were sitting next to.
“How was the exam?” I asked him while pulling out notes to
study for a test that was next period.
“I totally fucking failed it (Y/N).” He shrugs.
“I need to help you study Mantle.” I whisper to him.
“I’d be 100% passing all my classes if you helped me study.” He
chuckles while trying to open a bag of chips quietly, but failing of course.
The librarian didn’t even care.
“But for now, (Y/N), I want to take a nap.” He says and
shuffles to put his head in my lap, finishing up the bag of chips. I kissed him on the forehead once he got comfortable
I ran my fingers through his hair and studied at the same
time while he slowly fell asleep on my lap at the library like he seemed to do
more and more since Julia was born. He looked comfortable on my lap so that was
what happened while I listened to music on my earphones and studied.