music empowers

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Meet Mona Haydar, a Muslim poet rockin’ her hijab in an empowering music video

  • Mona Haydar is a pregnant Syrian poet and she’s rockin’ her hijab.
  • In honor of Muslim Women’s Day, Haydar released her first single and music video “Hijabi” on Monday. 
  • The video featured numerous women — from diverse ethnic backgrounds — donning hijabs and dancing to the beat of her track.
  • The video provides a powerful counter-narrative to how Muslim women are perceived — often as oppressed or terror-prone — in the United States and other Western countries. 
  • Haydar’s lyrics, unapologetic in their delivery, serve as an anthem of resistance for Muslim women around the world. Read more. (3/31/17, 11:45 AM) 
Signs when heartbroken

Sad for a day, bouncin back the next: Scorpio, Libra, Leo, Aries

Watches empowering Beyonce music videos: Cancer, Pisces, Gemini, Sagittarius

Takes a long, long, nap: Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, Aquarius

Hera/Juno

Originally posted by drawien

Small devotional acts.

  • Be a loving and nurturing friend
  • Pamper yourself often
  • Paint 
  • Get peacock-feather earrings
  • Be nice to any kids you run into 
  • Get some temporary tattoos
  • Fight for love and marriage equality
  • Plant fragrant flowers near your home
  • Smile at strangers
  • Get some metallic pens
  • Embrace being the mom friend - always have snacks at the ready
  • Buy a nice set of sheets
  • Donate to charities that help those without family support
  • Drink an herbal/floral tea
  • Add more sparkly things to your life
  • Eat an apple
  • Go cloud watching
  • Blast the AC then get cozy under some blankets
  • Wear that outfit you love that also scares you a little
  • Burn a scented candle
  • Support small artists and display their work in your home!
  • Strengthen your relationships - romantic or platonic
  • Go on more walks, take time to smell the flowers
  • Gold!
  • Always notice little ones that seem a bit lost, and take a minute to make sure they’re okay
  • Support those in or escaping abusive situations
  • Listen to music that empowers you
  • Buy a succulent plant
  • Wear those sunglasses wherever you want
  • Buy yourself that extra goody you always think about while at the store
  • Get more iced drinks 
RIP To My Youth pt. 2

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Description: It’s the next day and despite the nerves, Y/N is ready to show off her new look to everyone at school. How will they react? With the Vixens tryouts right around the corner and unwelcomed run-ins with Jughead, support from other members of the scooby gang will be needed.

Warnings: Just a few swears it’s all good. 

Word Count: 4343 (Yeah I know it’s pretty long so yano, make yourself a cup of tea, sit down, get comfy and give it a read)



You know in those cliché teen movies where the protagonist walks through the halls of their high school and it’s all in slow motion with some kind of empowering music playing in the background and it’s just completely over dramatic? 

Well, that’s pretty much exactly what I felt like walking into school today, whether that was a good thing or not was an entirely different issue. I was turning heads, to say the least; I put so much effort into my appearance today that I kinda felt like if I didn’t achieve this response I would have completely failed. I tried my best to keep up a confident demeanour, and to my surprise, I was holding up rather well. I think that little pep talk I had with myself in the mirror this morning might have actually worked, hell yes.  

 My burgundy dress clung to my body as I glided down the hallway, ignoring the stares I was receiving a little further up I could see Archie, Ronnie and Kevin in a group by their lockers, they were deep in conversation and hadn’t spotted me yet. Unfortunately for me, in order to get to them, I was going to have to walk past the vast majority of the football team, who were all laughing about something in a group by their lockers.

 My heart sped up and I could feel my pulse quicken, I prayed they wouldn’t say anything as my usual encounters with them usually involved them teasing me in some petty juvenile way. 

As I passed them I held my breath and to my dismay but also surprisingly I was met with a symphony of cat calls, without thinking I turned my head to look at them, I made direct eye contact with the big man on campus himself Reggie Mantle, he just looked at me arms folded leaning against his locker and smirked. I was surprised because usually, he’d call me a freak or something uncreative like Wednesday Adams which Jughead and I had both been called numerous times throughout our years here.  I rolled my eyes rising above it and quickly made my way over to the three familiar faces by the lockers.

 “OH MY GOD” Veronica nearly yelled as she eyed me up and down when I stood next to her, “oh my god is right, YES why didn’t you tell us you were going all extreme makeover, that dress and your hair is literally giving me life right now” Kevin said with a look of amazement in his eyes. “Well, I thought I needed a little change,” I said laughing at the look on their faces. “You look amazing Y/N, I can’t get over this” Ronnie continued, she proceeded to literally poke me in the face, I looked at her as if to say ‘what the hell are you doing’, “sorry I just had to make sure this was real” a big smile was now painted across her face. “I think you broke Archie” Kevin motioned to the red headed boy whose mouth was wide open. Kevin’s words immediately brought Archie out of whatever strange trance he was in “H-hey Y/N, sorry it’s just really weird seeing you look so, so” Archie started “So hot!” Veronica finished. This made all of us laugh in unison.

“I was actually wondering if you two would come shopping with me this weekend, If I’m going to keep up this look I’m gonna need help from the experts” I motioned towards Kevin and Ronnie. “Of course! We will be your fashion fairy godparents, ready to give you all the style advice and direction you need” Veronica said looking at Kevin who nodded in approval of her statement.  

“Thank you guys so much” I breathed a sigh of relief, “Sorry Arch, I’d ask you too but I don’t think girly shopping trips are really your forte” I said looking at Archie.

 “Don’t worry no offence taken you’re right, but maybe I can meet you guys at Pop’s afterwards?” Archie replied. “But of course Archiekins, after a day of retail therapy Pop’s milkshakes are the only way to regain one’s strength” Veronica answered.

 “Oh my god I completely forgot to mention, Cheryl’s having a party at her house this Saturday too, apparently her parents are heading out of town to meet with a private investigator and she’s throwing a party to celebrate her mother giving her back the River Vixens and the new recruit she’s picking after school, so naturally I got the whole gang invited, Veronica Lodge does not disappoint” Ronnie said clapping her hands and grinning, this was met with the rest of us grinning excitedly and thanking her.

 However all I could now think of was that damn audition today, I’d almost forgotten about it, this news of a party being thrown practically in honour of the new recruit was enough to turn the butterflies in my stomach into grenades. The bell signalling the start of first period cut off this thought and brought me right back into reality. “Oh god, we’d better get going, see you guys in the student lounge at lunch break?” Kevin asked, we all agreed to meet there and went our separate ways.

 What class did I have first today? Shit, it was English. My stomach dropped and the grenades started exploding in a far fiercer manor. Jughead was in this class, what the hell was I going to do. Taking a deep breath I started walking rather slowly, in some last ditch effort to delay what was to come; however, in the back of my mind, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to escape the inevitable.  

 By the time I reached my class everyone was already inside and the teacher had begun talking, great if I wasn’t nervous enough to see Jughead I’d have to do the awkward “dash to my seat/ apologise for being late” stunt.

 I took a deep breath and quickly opened the door to the classroom, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Walking in I looked at the teacher who had a surprised look on her face, “ah sorry I’m late Mrs Jackson” I said, before I could scan the room for a seat, the teacher quickly added “oh I didn’t know we were getting a new student today, why isn’t there an office aid with you?”

 What the fuck, did she really think I was a new student; honestly I didn’t think I looked THAT different. Then again she was pretty damn old, needless to say, I was still rather embarrassed. I heard some muffled laughs coming from the students already seated, ignoring them I looked at my teacher, in hope of her getting a better look at my face “Uh Mrs Jackson, it’s Y/N Y/L/N, I’ve been in this class all year” I said trying to sound as polite as possible, the muffled laughter continued “oh so It is! I’m so sorry dear you look quite different today, please take a seat and try not to be late next time” I gave her a flat smile and turned to scan the room.

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A Week of Pride and Thanks

Our intern Kevin loved this new book from Sarah Prager, Queer, There, and Everywhere: 22 People Who Changed the World, and felt compelled to say thank you for all they did. In the book, Prager outlines the extraordinary lives of LGBTQ figures throughout history – a project of painstaking research and devotion, and a task not made easy by the many who have erased and revised the rainbow’s visibility within some of our world’s greatest contributors.

This is a series of Thank You notes to those figures featured in Prager’s book who have paved the way toward today, where Pride parades (or marches) may dance down city roads, streets clogged by the sheer multitude clamoring to participate in festivity; where marriage equality drapes its long laced veil across a vastly more accepting world, nation by nation; where LGBTQ stories win the highest cinematic awards; where LGBTQ athletes can proudly reveal their truths; where LGBTQ world leaders stand tall amongst their peers; and where there’s still terrible things we need to fix, but we know it gets better when we look behind us and see all that has hitherto been accomplished.


Dear Gertrude “Ma” Rainey,

Thank you for your performances based – not in acting – but in revealing truth. Your sexually-empowered Blues music (even with explicit reference to lesbian love) has allowed so many to follow your example throughout the decades. For pretty much all of the modern sexually charged popular music that we love (begrudgingly or otherwise) today, thank you!


Dear Del Martin & Phyllis Lyon,

Thank you for providing a visible (though invisible) space for lesbians in a dangerous time when governments sought them for prosecution, when gay rights groups ignored women, and when women’s rights groups ignored gay women. Through your newsletters, you provided a chance for lesbians to recognize themselves as valid with the ability to pursue their happiness. Add this to the countless Thank You letters you’ve received from scared gay women you talked out of the darkness.


Dear Sylvia Rivera,

Thank you for your ferocity in fighting for your rights even when the community you called your own abandoned you. Through your tireless selflessness, homeless trans youth had a place to call (STAR), and a place to stay. Your refusal to remain silent even as you were beaten by your own peers has inspired so many fighters in our journey for acceptance both for ourselves and our brothers and sisters.


Find out the full true stories of these people and 20 others in Queer, There, and Everywhere, on sale now here.

Lunar Dance (Pokemon Inspired Spell)

A spell to banish negative energy from yourself after a bad day.

You will Need:

  • Open space (indoors or outdoors, whichever you’re more comfortable with)
  • Music that make you feel happy
  • If indoors: open window
  • (Optional) crystals for banishing negative energy 

Time of Day: After dark

Preparation:

Make sure you have an open space to work with that you feel comfortable in. If you prefer to be alone then that is alright. Make sure there is nothing that you may accidentally kick or trip over. Cleanse the space if you choose with some incense. If you wish to have crystals around place them out of your way so you do not step on or hurt yourself on them. If needed take a bath or shower and drink some tea or water before performing this spell.

Steps:

  1. Turn on your music from your music via whatever device you wish to use. I recommend using a short playlist since this may take longer than a song or two but it is your choice. You may play it out in the open or may play it through headphones, whichever you prefer.
  2. Take in some deep breaths and visualize your energy about you, and how it is ‘masked’ by the dark haze of the day or whatever negativity that you wish to banish away. 
  3. Once you have visualized this to your like begin dancing, doesn’t matter how you do it. Whether you’re a good dancer or a bad dancer, just let it go and dance. While dancing imagine your energy flowing with you, how it trails you like ribbons tied to a ribbon dancer. How every turn and motion releases that black mist from your energy, clearing it to the color of how it usually appears to you. This mist imagine it raising into the air and up into the sky out of your life. If you are indoors, imagine it going out the open window and into the sky that way.
  4. Dance, hum, sing, spin; do whatever you feel is right even after all the blackness is gone from you. Now imagine the energy of the moon (either above you or through the window) sending down more energy to you, how your energy is growing, glowing and glitters. Listen to your music and let it empower you and feel the energy of your crystals.
  5. Dance until you feel tired or satisfied. With your music still playing drink some water and sit down and rest. Once you have caught your breath end the spell however you see fit. (I myself take a shower) 

Note: please if you live with close neighbors don’t play your music too loud especially if it is late. If you are in an apartment building and there are people below do your best not to do this spell too late as to not disturb anyone trying to sleep or settle down. Be respectful of others.

If you envision something enough and you think about it enough and you work hard enough and you always keep your vision in your head, as like it’s going to happen, you’re gunna do that.  You’ll magically find yourself doing that.  I think the biggest thing for anything whether it’s fashion, art, music, sports, whatever…If you envision it, you can do it.
That’s the cool thing about life.
—  Lyndsey Gunnulfsen 
Distress Tolerance: Big List of Ideas and Examples for Practicing the Self-Soothe Skill

When using the Distress Tolerance Skill of Self-Soothe, the goal is to create small, physically pleasurable or calming or stimulating experiences for your senses.  Here is a substantial list of some examples of pleasurable or engaging experiences for each sense:

Vision:

  • If a lot of your breakdowns happen at night, go outside and look at the stars. Sometimes it’s nice to be accompanied by a stargazing app on your phone that helps you identify constellations and other astral features.  This is a personal favourite of mine because you also get the benefit of fresh air.
  • Look at pictures you like in a book of illustrations, a book of artwork by favourite artists, look at the complex designs of adult colouring books (and colour them!)
  • Create and compile a tag on your tumblr or a board on pinterest of calming or visually stimulating images/gifs (or a photo album of good memories or images that remind you of good moments)
  • Go to a craft store and buy one (or many!) beautiful silk flower(s), or, go to a florist/flower shop/grocery store and buy an interesting live flower or plant. Terrariums make particularly calming things to look at.
  • Light a candle and watch the flame.
  • Shake up a glitter jar or snowglobe and watch the glitter or snow swirl and settle (there are many different “recipes” for making a glitter jar so if you’re interested in learning how, just google it and try different methods until you get a result you’re happy with. You can also probably buy one on Etsy if you don’t want to do the DIY thing).
  • Go people-watching.
  • Walk in a pretty part of town or a nice park. Look closely at any interesting architecture or beautiful nature.
  • Watch a sunrise or sunset.
  • Watch the clouds, notice shapes they form that may look like animals or objects.
  • Watch a fireworks display.
  • During holiday seasons like Halloween or Christmas, drive or walk around your area to look at the decoration displays. Look up images or videos of impressive and ambitious and extravagant Christmas light displays.
  • Go to a nature park, bird or butterfly sanctuary and watch the creatures.
  • Watch dance performances on YouTube (there are SO MANY good ones in all different styles, solo or with a partner or in a group, dance battles, street performances or TV performances like So You Think You Can Dance… you can find incredibly amazing things)
  • Watch YouTube videos of martial arts demonstrations (Tai Chi is soothing to watch, Capoeira is really visually interesting, HEMA/WMA rapier or longsword or sidesword drills can also be rhythmic and the repetition can be enjoyable to watch) or some practice or tournament sparring (NO MMA bloodsport, that’s not soothing!)
  • Watch YouTube videos and clips of gymnastics competitions, or figure-skating performances/competitions.
  • Watch sports highlight reels on YouTube or on a sports TV channel like SportsNet, TSN, ESPN, etc.
  • Watch YouTube tutorials: make-up tutorials or hair tutorials, cosplay tutorials, drawing or painting tutorials (or speedpaints or timelapses), etc.
  • Watch cute animal videos or gifs (another personal favourite of mine).
  • Read comics, graphic novels, or manga.
  • Watch a visually intricate, interesting, calming, or stimulating TV show or movie.  Animated movies or shows are particularly nice, like Miyazaki films or some Dreamworks films or the Legend of Korra series are some examples that come to mind.  Movies with a lot of well-done visual effects are also nice, or movies and TV shows that have excellent costume or set design, like the Lord of the Rings trilogy or period movies/shows.  If you download movies and TV shows, perhaps keep a special folder of go-to calming or visually engaging shows that appeal to your sense of vision.
  • Watch nature or science documentaries like shows on the National Geographic Channel (or website), the Discovery Channel, Animal Planet, the BBC, etc.  My top recommendations are anything narrated by David Attenborough, and Cosmos narrated by Neil deGrasse Tyson. 
  • Watch educational YouTube channels (personal favourite is TheBrainScoop, a natural history channel out of the Field Museum in Chicago).  I know some people really dislike the vlogbrothers, but SciShow and the various field-specific incarnations of SciShow are also interesting to watch and are visually engaging because of high production quality.
  • Put up Christmas lights in your room but keep them there all year around and turn them on/plug them in when you want something pretty to look at.
  • Decorate an area of your room, or make one area of your room pleasant to look at.
  • Re-read letters or kind messages people have sent you over the years.  If they’re online or on your phone, take screenshots of them and keep them in a folder so that you can look through them when you’re feeling down about yourself.  For especially special ones, print a few out and either pin/tape them up on your wall where you can see them regularly, or fold them up and put them in your wallet or your bag (purse, backpack, briefcase, etc) so you can read them anywhere you go if you need to.  (You can also put these in your Self-Soothe Kit)

Hearing/Sound:

  • Listen to soothing, invigorating, or empowering music.  Create specific playlists for this purpose.  Don’t include music that makes you feel negative emotions or brings up negative memories.
  • Listen to ambient noise makers, especially ones that are customizable. If you’re having too much of a breakdown to play with customizable ambient noise makers, you can always find 3-10 hour loops of ambient noise videos on YouTube.
  • Pay attention to the sounds of nature (waves, birds, rainfall, leaves rustling, etc).
  • Pay attention to the sounds of the city (traffic, human chatter, street performers, the sound of the wind whistling down streets or around buildings, etc)
  • Sing to your favourite songs and blast your music super loud.  If you have a good sound system, lie on the floor and feel the bass.
  • Listen to the discography of your favourite band or musician or artist
  • Listen to audiobooks
  • Listen to lectures or podcasts (iTunesU is a great place to find free lectures of full university courses or lecture series on a particular subject.  TedTalks is also a good place for this stuff.)
  • Listen to (and watch) educational YouTube channels (my favourite, as previously stated, is TheBrainScoop, a natural history channel out of the Field Museum in Chicago, and previously a zoological museum in Montana)
  • Watch/Listen to documentaries narrated by David Attenborough (his voice is incredibly soothing, seriously, if you watch the Life documentary series, watch the version he narrated, not Oprah’s version because Attenborough’s is much more soothing). The documentaries are also usually a very high quality so they’re visually soothing as well.
  • Listen to musical soundtracks, or watch the shows on YouTube, or watch YouTube-specific musicals like the musicals created by StarKid (Starship is particularly good).
  • Hum or whistle.
  • Call/Skype a friend or loved one to listen to their voice.
  • Play an instrument or learn to play an instrument (you can watch tutorials for this on YouTube too)
  • Make playlists for different emotions or ones that achieve different effects.  One that’s relaxing, one that’s upbeat and happy and makes you want to dance, one that makes you want to rock out or pumps you up, one that’s instrumental (movie and video game soundtracks are good for this), etc. 
  • Make playlists with certain themes, like traveling, or city life, or the sea, or songs that remind you of someone you love.  Include songs that inspire you or comfort you (three of my go-to songs for that are I Stand Alone by Van Canto, Good to be Alive by Skillet, and Battle Cry by Angel Haze, for example) and songs that remind you of your goals, things you want to accomplish, things you still want to do and experience because that can really help you look past the pain of the now and look towards the possibilities of the future.
  • Note: when making playlists, try to only include songs you really like and would want to listen to all the way through.  You don’t want to be skipping a lot of songs, or skipping any at all.  The ideal is to be able to put on a playlist that is at least a couple hours long and be able to just continuously listen.

Smell/Scent:

  • Use your favourite soap, shampoo, aftershave, cologne, lotions, body wash, shaving cream, body spray or perfume.
  • Light an aromatherapy candle or just a scented candle.
  • Burn incense.
  • Make a cup of a particularly aromatic tea.
  • Open a container of loose tea and inhale the scent, or open up a new bag of coffee and inhale the fresh coffee.
  • Put lemon oil on your furniture (I’ve never done this, I dunno what it smells like, but this is listed in the Manual so obviously some people find it beneficial).
  • Bake something, because baking always smells good.  Baking bread is really nice and could be fairly easy if you have a bread-maker.
  • Cook a particularly delicious smelling meal (personally I’m partial to the smell of cooking turkey bacon, but also the smell of onions being cooked always smells good to me).
  • Put potpourri or an aromatherapy oil in your room.  You can get those air freshener/room scents that plug into the wall and put one of those in your room.
  • Rub an aromatherapy oil on the insides of your wrists (I do this and have a few different scents and I keep some in my self-soothe kit)
  • Wear a scent locket necklace (a necklace with a locket that has a piece of fabric inside that you dip in a scented oil so the locket continuously gives off this scent).
  • Boil cinnamon or heat up vanilla.
  • Go to a flower shop and literally smell the roses! (or your favourite flower or herb or choice)
  • Keep dried herbs in your house, ones you particularly like
  • Buy a small spice kit or a travel spice kit and carefully smell them (don’t inhale too deeply because otherwise you might get powder up your nose!)
  • Open a window, walk outside, get some fresh air.
  • Go to a wooded area or a park or a garden and mindfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature.
  • Buy a special soap or face wash or body lotion or body spray just to be used for the times when you need to self-soothe, as a treat for yourself.

Taste:

  • Eat some of your favourite foods.
  • Drink your favourite soothing drink, such as a special tea, a particularly rich or flavoured hot chocolate, a fancy latte, or a smoothie (JugoJuice is particularly good on the soothing smoothie front).
  • Order a very special and extravagant drink at Starbucks or your coffeeshop of choice.  Make sure it’s an order that you only get on rare occasions so that it remains special.  As for extra whipped cream, be completely indulgent. This is one of my favourite things to do.  Make a list of special drinks and flavour combinations that you enjoy that are not on the standard menu, keep the list in your wallet or your bag so that you’ll be able to remember a more complicated order at times when your memory might be failing you due to too much distress.
  • Go to a fancy bakery (or the bakery section in your local grocery store) and get a slice of cake, or treat yourself to a similarly special dessert.
  • Go out for dinner to a place you enjoy, either a place that’s a special treat for you, or a place that is comforting and familiar.
  • Eat a food or candy that is strongly associated with your childhood (like fruit rollups or dunk-a-roos or gummy bears, or cereal like Froot Loops or Lucky Charms or Cinnamon Toast Crunch, for me).
  • Go to your local convenience store and indulge yourself with a chocolate bar.
  • Sample flavours of ice cream at an ice cream parlour. 
  • Buy a special ice cream cone with more than one scoop or flavour, with toppings like sprinkles or crushed nuts or chocolate drizzle. Give yourself permission to have something special and out-of-the-ordinary.  Alternatively, go to the grocery store’s ice cream or frozen yogurt section and buy yourself a tub or box of ice cream in your favourite flavour.  Try to get small containers so you don’t end up eating too much and feeling sick afterwards. That would be counterproductive.
  • Suck on a piece of hard candy.
  • Eat a very chewy candy that takes a long time to eat.
  • Chew your favourite flavour of gum.  Go out and get a special flavour of bubblegum and blow bubbles.  The repetitive motion of chewing gum is also soothing and can prevent you from clenching your teeth and jaw.
  • Brush your teeth and use mouthwash.
  • Drink a carbonated, fizzy drink or put fizzy tablets in your drink and notice the sensation of the bubbles in your mouth.
  • Eat slowly, to savour and enjoy what you’re eating.  Try to eat Mindfully, using the skills Observe, Describe, Participate, and One-Mindful.  Make sure you’re being Non-Judgmental of yourself for eating a treat or something special.  If eating can be triggering for you or affect your self-esteem or will make you feel guilty, then it would be best to not choose this sense to stimulate. 

Touch:

  • Take a long hot bath or shower, or sit in a hot tub.
  • Pet your dog or cat.  Cuddle with them close, feel their heartbeat, feel their chest expand as they breathe.  Pay attention to the texture of their fur or coat and how it feels on your hands.
  • Have someone give you a massage or a back rub. 
  • Massage your own hands and feet, shoulders and calves, neck and forehead/temples.
  • Rub a lotion over your entire body, feel how soft your skin is.
  • Put a cold compress or damp cloth on your forehead or the back of your neck.
  • Wash your face, either just with water or with a special facial scrub.
  • Follow all the steps of a skincare routine.
  • Brush your teeth, paying attention to your gums, the insides of your cheeks, and your tongue. It can be surprisingly soothing if you do it methodically and take your time and do it Mindfully.
  • Sink into a comfortable chair in your home.
  • Lay down, comfortably in bed, surrounded by pillows (maybe make a pillow fort?), and pull the covers up to your chin or over your head, and tuck yourself in or have someone else tuck you in.
  • Put fresh, clean sheets on your bed.  Alternatively, buy special, high-thread count sheets for you to put on your bed on special occasions like when you need to self-soothe and feel comforted.
  • If you’re going to be out in public and may need to self-soothe, wear an article of clothing that is particularly soft or silky or pleasant to touch (like a scarf, for example), or wear a really soft or crisp shirt, a snuggly hoodie, a very smooth blazer of fine wool, a satiny or silky blouse or jacket, or a garment that has an interesting texture that you can run your hands over (I’m a huge fan of textured fabrics so most of my clothes are made of fabrics with interesting textures precisely for this purpose). 
  • NOTE: Make sure every part of your outfit is comfortable and not itchy or constricting, make sure the tags on the garments don’t irritate you and that the seams are also not irritating or abrasive.
  • If you’re at home, put on your comfiest, softest pajamas or fuzzy socks or fuzzy/cushioned slippers.
  • Take a drive with the car windows rolled down (or, if in a convertible, with the top down), and feel the wind blow through your hair and the feel of the wind on your skin.  This is another personal favourite of mine.
  • Run your hand along smooth wood or leather, or feel the details of a wood or leather object that has been carved or embossed.
  • Run your hand over a worry stone.
  • Grip a stress ball/toy.
  • Play with a fidget toy (like a spinner ring) or a stim toy.
  • If you’re a crystal person, hold a crystal in your hands and feel the energy within it, along with its smoothness and sharpness.
  • Hug someone.  Feel that physical closeness, notice and feel their heartbeat and the rise and fall of their chest while you’re hugging them.
  • Cuddle with someone.
  • Cuddle a stuffed animal, especially a particularly comforting one from your childhood.
  • Hold someone’s hand.  Notice the feel of their skin, the texture, the temperature, how you’re holding hands (are your fingers interlaced? If they are, how so? Etc)
  • This one is kinda weird, but put liquid glue on your hand, let it dry, and then peel it off.  It’s an interesting sensation.
  • I don’t know if this counts as touch, but paint your nails.  Do your makeup.  Style your hair.  Experiment with your makeup and your hair, do something different or wacky or straight up wild, for the tactile experience of working with your hair and the make up.
  • Pluck your eyebrows.  Some people may not find this pleasant or soothing, but I do.  Maybe I’m just weird.
  • Go for a run and concentrate on the feeling of your feet connecting to the pavement or the trail or the treadmill, feel the sweat accumulate on your body, if running outside feel the wind in your hair and on your face.
  • Go for a swim, feel the water on your skin as you move through it.

Other Senses:

  • There are other senses like your sense of pressure. Using pressure like a weighted blanket or a heavy quilt of comforter laid over your body can be a very pleasant and calming sensation and is commonly used by people who experience sensory overload, such as autistic people.  
  • Yet another sense is our perception of temperature. Here you could basically use the T in the TIP skill, or a milder form of the T skill which could be putting a cool, damp cloth on your forehead or the back of your neck.  You could also take a warm bath or sit in a hot-tub.
  • While there are many more, the last sense I’ll mention is our sense of motion. It is soothed by repetitive motions, like tapping fingers or feet, bouncing your knee, or sitting in a rocking chair.  I personally find rocking chairs to be especially soothing.

This list is far from exhaustive, so you might come up with something that isn’t on this list that really works for you.

Further Reading: The Self-Soothe Skill, Intro to Distress Tolerance, The TIP Skill, Intro to Mindfulness, The Mindfulness “What” Skills (Coming Soon), The Mindfulness “How” Skills (Coming Soon)

-Pandora

anonymous asked:

im a transguy and im deeply in the closet, are there any ways i can make myself appear or feel more masculine without doing anything too obvious like getting a binder?

OkAY let’s see

a few things I can think of

- Thickening eyebrows

- Pulling your hair back/up or perhaps just getting a short but feminine haircut and possibly trying to style it in a more masculine manner?

- Baggy clothes

- Speak from your chest instead of your head/throat

- Walk with more definition in your shoulders than your hips

- Shaving your peachfuzz- both cis and trans guys do this and it can really help

- Listening to empowering music

- Asking friends to use your preferred names and pronouns in sentences for simple validation

Those were just a few things I could think of <3

~Ryan