music concert band

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This kid: “I arranged this cool song for a full concert band”

Me: “Wow you’re pretty talented”

This kid: “also the entire concert band is me”

HE’S ACTUALLY GOOD AT EVERY INSTRUMENT, LIKE HE’S NOT JUST HALF-ASSING EVERY INSTRUMENT, HE REALLY KNOWS ALL OF THEM

  • band 1: WE ARE GOING TO PLAY IN YOUR COUNTRY
  • band 2: SO ARE WE
  • band 3: DON'T FORGET ABOUT US
  • me: *excited as fck"
  • my purse: nope
  • me: but...
  • my purse: we are broke as fck my darling
  • <p> <b>every talented musician ever:</b> warm up with low, long tones!<p/><b>me:</b> *stumbles through a 2 octave scale in 5 seconds, sneezes, hits head on a brick wall somewhere"<p/></p>
my favorite instrument stereotypes
  • tuba: either too tall or too small, pop culture nerds, enjoy old memes
  • trombone: at once amazingly competent and incompetent. no one else can play their trombone because it is broken in ways only they understand
  • euphonium: the teenaged equivalent of a bitter old man who actually has a heart of gold
  • trumpet: egotistical fucks who care a lot about playing louder than the flutes
  • french horn: the only labrosone above the sin of the brass section. everyone treats them like woodwinds because they essentially are
  • flutes: really want to be first chair, insecure about their musicianship, weep a lot
  • clarinet: like the flutes but better at emotional suppression, wants to make everyone proud
  • saxophone: awesome jazz
  • oboe: the only one who doesn't think their instrument sounds like a duck, nerds
  • bassoon: rich, pretentious, correct other people's grammar
  • percussion: first i bang the drum then i bang your mom, also anger issues probably

Dave Matthews: Lead Vocalist, Dave Matthews Band

Q: What is the one message or action you hope viewers and attendees take away from today’s concert?

A: If there’s one I’d like people to take away from this, it’s don’t be quiet. Don’t say “I don’t like that but I’m afraid to talk about it.” Speak, because the people that will do you harm, and do harm to the things you love, and do harm to your freedom, they will not be quiet about it. They will be noisy, and they will say they’re right, and they will say it meanly, and you will be afraid. But don’t be too afraid to speak. You can go shaking to the pulpit and say, “I believe in love.” 

“You grew from a seed. Forever strong as a pine tree, always an evergreen.”


Knuckle Puck - ALIR10 Anniversary Tour - 4/30/17 The Crofoot, Pontiac, MI
📸 Me

A summary of common band pieces

-Chorale and Shaker Dance: everyone’s played it but no one remembers how it goes
-Emperata Overture: your introduction to mixed meter
-Let’s Go Band: All rise for the band geek anthem
-Jupiter: clarinet massacre, then everyone praises god
-Angels in the Architecture: demons maul an angel and crash a Jewish wedding, then get owned by heaven (mostly)
-Second Suite in F: euphonium anxiety
-Stars and Stripes Forever: piccolo anxiety
-Blue Shades: clarinet anxiety
-Anything by John Mackey: *experimenting on Finale Notepad*
-Any Sousa march: horns go die
-Irish Tune from Country Derry: woodwinds wait forever, then brass wait forever
-Vesuvius: ALL THE RATCHETS
-Molly on the Shore: the same thing but a million times
-Concord: red-blooded patriotism but in 7/8
-Sleigh Ride: annual winter torture
-Pomp and Circumstance: annual summer torture
-Anything by Eric Whitacre: heavenly choirs
-Variations on a Korean Folk Song: the only Asian band piece most of you will ever play