Author: see-the-fandom-imagines Warnings: blood, mentioning of death Word Count: 3067 A/N: I hope you like it! If there should be anything you think I could improve in the next chapters, don’t hesitate to ask! Request: I wanted to send in a request where you get nearly killed by a
panther while walking through the woods. Lincoln & Octavia find
you then near death & carry you back to camp where Bellamy
breaks down in tears at the sight of you. Clarke tells all then that
you won’t make it and then all your friends like
Raven,Finn,Octavia,Lincoln,Monty & Jasper sit by your side and
Bellamy holds your head on his lap. Like a wonder you fight your way
back to life and recover with help of your loved ones
It was one of those days. The bad ones, when even though the sun was shining, the birds singing, the world seemed to take on a monochrome tone. On these days, you usually tried to stay away from everyone else in Camp; never really leaving the perimeter into the wilderness of the forest, but just enough to remain a wallflower. It was easier that way, to deal with it, pretend you didn’t suffer every single hour – every single minute, every second – from it.
But today, that was impossible. As the pressure from the Grounders grew heavier and heavier you were needed twenty-four-seven as one of the few only mechanics in Camp, to help out Raven, Monty and Jasper prepare traps, gadgets and weapons, in order to increase everyone’s chances.
You walked the way back to your tent at a half run, holding the cog you had fished out from the wreckages of the dropship to add to your newest trap. The assortment of people moving back and forth around you, holding everything from guns to makeshift knives, not helping to soothe the uneasiness that was steadily building inside you. Your breath quickened, and you lowered your eyes to the floor in order to block out every other visual sensation. The vivid memories were threatening to plunge you down once again.
In the midst of trying to regain your composure you failed to notice the pair of feet that had come into your field of vision and slammed against another body before you could stop yourself or even reduce your speed. The top of your head bumped hard against what felt like teeth and just like that, you were falling back against the ground, the cog flying out of your sight as you brought one hand automatically to your skull and another beneath you in a vain attempt to soften your fall.
“Urgh, fucking watch your step!” a muffled voice sounded and you looked up to see a scowling Murphy, holding one hand to his mouth.
No, not him; anyone but him, you thought, closing your eyes and breathing deep, you slid your hand from your hair and into your line of sight before opening them again. Your eyes widened as you noticed they were covered in blood.
“What? You assault other people and then you’re surprised by a little blood? Jesus, you couldn’t even help yourself if you tried.” He paused to spit blood onto the soil next to his feet. “What did you even do to get here? Kill a fly? What an eye sore.”
Your breath started to come out in short gasps. You gripped your head with both your hands, pressing hard. Blood. So much blood. Warm and sticky; the smell of iron. It wasn’t my fault! The kitchen knife. You couldn’t help yourself even if you tried.
Tears started to form in your eyes threatening to spill out. A scream started to build in your throat. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water.
“What’s wrong with you?” Murphy asked, in a tone thick with disgust. “Can’t even answer a person straight. Pathetic.” Kicking up dust, he left, still grumbling under his breath.
You got unsteadily to your feet, stumbling, you ran blindly straight forward, not caring where that would be as long as it took you away from that dimly lit room. From all those bright flashes of memory that grabbed at you like a thousand hands, pulling you down.
“Mom, I’m back!” you called out as you closed the door behind you after entering your small, apartment-like room. The lights were turned off which meant she was probably in her room, like usual. It had always been like this, at least ever since your dad had been floated when you were 10 years old, and that had been 3 years ago. Now, you spent most of your time outside with Stefanie, in an attempt to escape that gloomy apartment, and the resentful person that spent her off-work hours there.
You shrugged at the lack of answer and set the bag you’d been carrying down next to the door. You rolled your shoulders surveying the room. The front door opened directly into the living area, a place filled with a sole couch and coffee table, and that looked, by all purposes and means, unlived in. You released a sigh into the air and steeled yourself for another painfully awkward encounter.
You stepped forward to stand in front of your mother’s room. The door was cracked slightly ajar. Clenching your fists, you knocked lightly before stepping in. The room was empty. You blinked your eyes not fully processing what you were seeing; but, in fact, she wasn’t there. The bed was also cleanly made.
With a feeling of uneasiness you called into the darkness. “Mom?” As if afraid to disturb the peace in case something leapt out at you, you decided to leave the lights off, and made your way to the next most probable place. The kitchen.
As you saw her back turn towards you, you immediately relaxed. “Hey, Mom, I’m home.” You let out in a breath. Startled she turned quickly to face you, all the while hiding something behind her back.
“Welcome back!” she said with an unusual enthusiastic voice. “How come you’re so early? You said you were going to have dinner with Stefanie.”
Confused, you decided to let whatever she was keeping from you go and answered her. “Apparently, her parents are mad at her because she cut through the clothes they bought her, in order to style them to her preference. Grounded for a month, so I can’t stay over, she said, and apologized of ‘course.” You made for the cupboard to fill a glass with water, as she replied.
“Ah, I see. What a pity, huh.” She seemed distracted. Or, more distracted than normal.
“I suppose.” You answered in kind. Still not having reached your growth spurt, you got onto your tip toes to grab for the cup, but only managed to graze it with your fingers, bringing it closer to the edge. You repeated the same movement, but this time you accidentally knocked it off the shelf in the process. It crashed on the floor with a loud sound and a burst of shards.
A flash of anger crossed your mom’s features as she regarded the broken pieces. “Look at what you did!” She scolded, kneeling down to collect the pieces. Forgetting that until then she’d been occulting something behind her, she held, instead, it exactly where you could see it.
“Mom, why’re you holding that knife?” You asked reluctantly taking an involuntary step back.
Her hair covered her face as her body shook with what you at first thought were sobs, but soon realized was actually laughter.
“I can’t take it anymore.” She looked up, eyes wide. “I mean, you couldn’t help yourself even if you tried. This just proves it.” She motioned wildly with the knife toward the pile of fragments. “First, you cause your fathers death because of a faked illness, then this.”
“We’ve talked about this before Mom, I was dying. If dad hadn’t risked his life and stolen that medicine for me, I’d be dead by now.” Tears spilled out of your eyes. Again. How many times had it already been just this month. “Besides, what are you even saying, me breaking a cup has nothing to do with it!”
“Lies!” She cried loudly, tears were streaking down her cheeks too. “But I’ve had enough.”
She lifted the knife and for one irrational second you thought she was going to strike you, but then she placed it over her own wrist.
“No!” You cried out, diving for it. Your hands made contact with the hand she held the knife in, and you pulled at it with all your strength. You didn’t give your mind time to realize it was terrified, you simply acted, as you fought with your own mother to secure the improvised weapon.
But she was stronger than you and fear was starting to catch you with you making your whole body shake, as she elbowed you in the stomach throwing you to the floor. With a yelp, you realized you had fallen on the broken glass pieces, which, in turn, had dug themselves into the palms of your hands. You stared at your blood-drenched hands in horror, and between your fingertips, your mother digging the knife straight into her own heart so that you’d have no chance at saving her. The sickening sucking sound at the knife penetrated her skin replaying itself over and over in your mind, even as her muffled grunts filled the air.
A wave of nausea swept over you, as you struggled to stand on your wobbling legs. Failing to do so, you instead turned your head over to the side and threw up. Heaving you tried to stop the swirling in your visions, barely aware of fact that the room had gradually quieted down as you mother bled to death. Your head was a mess of roaring thoughts.
Someone help! Pathetic. Save someone?
It was my fault Dad died. And now Mom… She’s right.
You couldn’t help yourself even if you tried. How did I expect to save her?
I can’t breathe!
Tears blurring your vision, you crawled over to your mother’s side. Her eyes were still open, glazed over and staring at something only she could see now. Lacking the courage to close them, you quickly looked away, over to the knife protruding from her chest and the blood still bubbling out leisurely. Your mental mechanism eventually took over at the sight of it and you stopped feeling completely. It was too horrifying to be real, too impossible to be true.
It felt as if you were watching someone else reach for the killing weapon and slowly pull it out of the victim. The persons breathing steadied and the tears stopped. No, it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be anything other than a dream. You smiled lightly, what a sick dream, huh.
A scream broke through the silence bringing you back to reality. Stefanie stood at the doorframe, hands over her O-shaped mouth. Your favourite scarf which you had most likely accidentally left behind at her house that evening, in a pile at her feet. Still sitting, your free hand reached for her through the air, in a lame attempt to convey words that where escaping you at the time.
She didn’t get it.
“Someone help! She killed her!” She shrieked, tears dropping from her cheeks as she took several staggering steps backwards and away from you before knocking against the wall behind her. “She murdered her own mother!”
No. That’s not it.
“She’s going to kill me with the same knife!”
What does she mean I’m going to kill her, can’t she see my mother just… just… Vaguely you looked down at your other hand in shock, only then noticing you indeed held the blade. You heard several footstep from outside and a couple of shouted voices.
“Over there!” someone yelled. You dropped it, realizing finally what it seemed like to Stefanie. A crime scene.
Everything became hazy as the guards burst into the room and immediately strapped your hands behind your back. The rest was a blur of court rooms, strong accusations, a hasty jury and a sentence to death when you became 18.
Awareness of your senses came back slowly. First, the dull pain in your scalp, that probably meant you’d been pulling at you hair again. Then, your wet cheeks and finally the sensation of your hands and knees on the rough but moist soil of the earth. Not that room. Earth.
You breathed in the fresh air allowing the calm to sweep over you. You leaned back on the balls of your feet, and threw your chin up, closing your eyes. Slowly you let the memories poor out of you, to hide momentarily once more, in the shadowy corners of your mind.
The flashes didn’t occur as often as they did before, but they were still troublesome enough to keep you from living your day to day normally. Most of the time you could pretend there wasn’t anything wrong with you. You’d joke together with Monty and Jasper, you’d tease Lincoln and Octavia, you’d agree with Finn’s politics and listen patiently to Raven’s complaining. But it often seemed forced to you, many times a day you gulped back fear of rejection, of hatred, even though deep down you thought everyone looked towards you with little else but those feelings. It was hard and most of the time you wished it could be just you, alone, so you could be sure you wouldn’t be hurt by anyone else.
Except when it came to him. Bellamy probably didn’t even notice, but he was the only person so far you’d been able to completely relax around. You yourself didn’t quite understand it. Maybe it was the confidence that radiated off him like an armor he wore, or maybe even his protectiveness toward his sister that lead one to believe that if you entered his sphere you’d be just as fiercely treasured, that lured you to him. Something was there, something undeniable. But you couldn’t seem to put your finger on it. Except for the lingering feeling that it might be the answer you needed as to what took to mend your cracks and scars…
Mid-thought you heard a rustling sound from the bushes. Startled you turned your head in the direction it came from as the sound grew louder and seemingly closer. Grounders? No, they’d never announce their arrival like that, they were too stealthy.
Blood coursing at high speed through your veins you stood up, half hesitating, lost as to whether you should run or slowly back out, in case it was a wild animal. In the end, you didn’t get to decide as a huge silhouette burst out of its hiding place and crashed against you, throwing you down with its weight.
You went numb. What should you do? You were weaponless and there was no one within miles – as far as you knew – that could help you. Just how in the world were you going to get out of this one?
The panther’s claws pressed into your shoulder; as it approached it face to yours it opened its jaws wide… your blood froze and out of pure instinct you brought one knee up, digging it into the panther’s underbelly. Fazed for a second, it staggered a bit, loosening its grip enough for you to quickly slip out and run. Only then you noticed the huge slash in your other leg, which had opened up when the panther had first pounced on you. The adrenaline was such you hadn’t felt the pain, but now that you’d seen the wound and made thus it real there was no escaping.
You cursed out loud as you lost your balance once more and ended with your elbows on the ground. The panther took the opportunity to close in on you, forcing you to change tactics now that running was out of the list. You picked up a random pebble and threw blindly in its direction. A complete miss. It took one step closer. You picked up another pebbled and threw with all the strength that was left in you. It hit home; right in the beasts eye. It roared infuriated, and stroke out. You rolled out of the way in time and crawled as fast as you could, your leg screaming pain all the way to the nearest tree.
Checking over your shoulder, you realized the panther had stopped moving. A miracle? It stood looking fazed from side to side, until you realized it couldn’t see you. You had ducked towards the side of the same eye just moments ago you had ruined.
Blessing your momentary luck, you began to try and climb the tree, (if you couldn’t run you’d at least have a vantage point) when it started pacing around. Your muscles were still numb from shock and your bleeding leg didn’t help in the least – nevertheless you clenched your teeth, gripped the lowest branches and pushed up. They cracked and broke under your unexpected weight. Half-blind or not, the noise you’d made had denounced your location to the panther completely. It snapped its head in your direction, and finally seeing you, it charged.
In a panic you threw the branch you now held in its general direction. Besides missing, you only then realized the stick would’ve been more helpful in your hands. In a rage, it set its paws against your upper body; your back pressed to the tree you had tried to climb to no avail, it had cornered you. As it realized there was no real purchase to your body, it stuck it claws out and racked. Sharp like blades, they pierced your skin. You screamed. The pain was unbearable and the blood loss was making your head dizzy. You just wanted to pass out. Pass out and get it over with. You faced it now. You weren’t getting out of there alive.
Your legs gave out and you slid down the tree, the panther still on you. Tears fell from your eyelids, wet and useless. However, you barely noted them. It hurt so much. Your inside were on fire, the pain was so sharp you felt like you were going to throw up. Hadn’t you been through enough already?
The panther, who hadn’t had enough – not yet – opened its jaws and clamped them hard on your arm. It was the last drop. A new wave of pain swept over you, and blissfully, almost gratefully, you sunk into a deep never ending sleep.
Heyo do you think you could do a The 100 first kiss preference with Bell, Murphy, Jasper, Monty, Octavia, Clarke and Raven. You falling asleep preference was so cute I asdfghjkl c: you also write really well x
Bellamy: You and Bellamy have been dating now for about a week since you got to Earth. He’s your first ever boyfriend so you’re a bit nervous about how to act around him and you worry about what he thinks about you. One day he called you into the dropship in the early evening. It was quite dark inside so you couldn’t see him. Suddenly you felt strong hands grab you round the waste as he pulled you into him and placed a soft kiss on your lips. Little did you know this was to be the first of many.
Murphy: Murphy was strongly disliked by many of the people that came down in the dropship so you kept your relationship very lowkey to avoid confrontation. One day you were in your tent together talking about so many different things both funny and sad. In the middle of one of his stories he stopped randomly and just looked you dead in the eye. He took your hands in his and leaned in towards your face. You leaned in as well and he slowly pecked you on the lips and whispered softly “I think I love you y/n.”
Monty: Monty has always been one to hide his emotions and never say what he’s actually thinking. You two had ventured into the woods for a while making up the excuse that you needed more fire wood. Secretly you had been wanting your boyfriend to kiss you for some time and whilst you were absent mindedly walking amongst the trees you decided to yourself if he wasn’t going to kiss you then you would have to make it happen yourself. You ran off slightly further ahead and waited for him to catch up. As he approached, you swung yourself around a tree so you were now facing him, quickly kissed him and then ran off again back to the camp leaving him slightly shocked but secretly thrilled.
Jasper: Jasper had been your boyfriend now for about a fortnight but because you two were both slightly nerdy and awkward you had never really done more than hold hands. You were still quite nervous around him and never really knew how to have a conversation without coming across as awkward and weird. One day you started telling him a story from when you were on the Ark and, being as nervous as you were, you began to babble. You kept on talking and talking and it was obvious you weren’t going to get to the point of the story any time soon so, as a way of shutting you up, he cupped your face in his hands and crashed his lips clumsily onto yours and kissed you passionately ignoring the far off wolf whistles and cat calls of the others around you.
Clarke: Clarke is a bit of an introvert so when it comes to the subject of kissing and PDA and all things related, she’s definitely not one to discuss how she really feels about the whole situation. Because of this, the two of you had never really had any conversation about kissing yet. However, one late night you were helping her come up with a plan of action to prepare against the grounders. It was beginning to get late and as everyone was leaving the dropship to go to bed she asked you to stay behind. She held your hands close to her and thanked you for helping her make plans and keeping her calm. In the spur of the moment you leaned into her and placed your lips on her and kissed her softly. After a few seconds you pulled away and replied “No problem.” as you left the drop ship.
Octavia: You and Octavia were the by far the cutest couple to land on Earth. You two were prone to going out into the woods late at night despite the danger. You would run through the trees laughing and giggling the whole time. One night she took you a different route through the forest telling you she had a surprise for you. After a few minutes of walking you saw faint glowing in the distance and saw, as you got closer, you were surrounded by hundreds of faintly glowing butterflies. It was the most beautiful, stunning thing you’d ever seen. You turned to look at her and realised she was a lot closer to your face than you’d thought. She took you in her arms holding you around the waste and whispered “You’re so special to me y/n.” before leaning in to your face and kissing you passionately on the lips. She was surprisingly good.
Raven: You and Raven had been working late into the night to make amo to use against the grounders. It wasn’t the first late night you’d spent in the make shift workshop and to be honest at the rate the grounders were attacking, it wouldn’t be the last for quite some time. In all honesty you didn’t mind working with her for hours on end because it was often the only alone time you got with your girlfriend. The two of you had been working for hours on end and decided to take a break for a while. You messed around a bit dancing stupidly around the workshop. You swung Raven around by the arms in circles spinning and spinning until the two of you could hardly stand because of the dizziness. Before you knew it Raven lost her balance and crashed straight into you knocking you over and landing right on top of you. Her face crashed into yours and her lips fell perfectly aligned to yours. She pulled away in shock apologizing to you over and over but you ignored her and pulled her in for a second gentle kiss.
AN: I really hope this is okay. I struggled on this one quite a bit but it’s done now and I’m quite pleased with it. This is quite embarrassing for me to admit, but I’ve never actually had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, so I’ve never actually had my first kiss which is why I struggled describing it because I have no idea what it’s like to kiss someone. Anyway, thank you for the request and feel free to request anything else anytime! :D