Dear pro lifers and pro choicers. Please stop doing this stuff asap.
Stuff that pro-lifers need to stop immediately:
• Screaming outside clinics that abortion is murder. Women who are getting abortions are often making that decision out of fear. There is no need to make them even more frightened, and then expect them to come running into your arms for support after you just told them that they’re going to burn in hell. I’m looking at you, Christians.
• Shaming young unmarried women for having children out of wedlock. If you claim to be pro-life, this literally has the opposite effect on women and will probably make them more likely to choose an abortion. God’s not cool with sex before marriage, but He actually loves kids a lot, especially since they have no part in the sin that caused them to come into this world, so please please stop.
• Causing discourse just for attention. I love getting angry fan-mail as much as the next guy (I get to use my snappy Judge Judy gifs) but being controversial to get reblogs…isn’t cool?? You should be building bridges and finding common ground and dare I say…compromising! (DUN DUN) There are women out there who need our help (AND WHEN I SAY “OUR” I MEAN BOTH PRO LIFERS AND PRO CHOICERS) and your intentional discourse posts aren’t helping anybody. Try reblogging hotlines for abortion counseling instead ;)
(I’M LOOKING AT YOU LIVEACTION NEWS)
• Please stop distancing yourselves from the LGBTQ community. I know, you don’t agree on everything…but I know a buncha atheist, lesbian pro lifers and they are some of the most passionate people I’ve met regarding this topic and they have important things to say. Please don’t dismiss their discussion as irrelevant. (This also means stop preventing from gay and lesbian couples from adopting btw…)
• PS there are people who have worked in abortion clinics that need a lot of healing and help. Don’t forget about them or dismiss their stories. Again, pointing fingers at the wrong people is just really really destructive to your cause.
• Realize that no matter how many abortion clinics you shut down, there will always be women who think that abortion is their only choice. I used to get so offended by people who would say “If you make it illegal then women will just do it in their bedrooms with coat hangers!” I’ll admit, I was wrong to be offended. I don’t know how much truth there is to that statement because it’s hypothetical but if there is then everyone needs to get together and make abortion unthinkable, not illegal. That means erasing every fear that a woman has which might make her get an abortion. That means supporting her financially (REGARDLESS OF WHETHER OR NOT SHE’S MARRIED??) and emotionally and pointing her to a local pregnancy resource center which will be filled with people who will BE THERE FOR HER.
Stuff that pro-choicers need to stop immediately:
• Trying to pass abortion off as painless and having no detrimental side-effects. This is baseless…and it belittles all of the women who have been affected by abortion. Studies have shown an increase in depression and even suicide after abortion procedures and there’s a reason for that. It’s a very big decision and there is a lot of weight to that. I know 3 women personally who are very close to me who have had abortions when they were younger and nothing would be more horrifying to them to be told that abortion is nothin’ to sneeze at (emotionally, mentally, or physically). You’re doing nothing for your cause by perpetuating this. And that includes making movies (gag) or writing articles in teen magazines that make abortions seem like fun, (double gag)
• Telling pro-lifers that they need to keep their Bibles “out of my vagina.” First of all, ew. Second of all there are a lot of pro life atheists out there! Check out New Wave Feminists and Rehumanize international! The pro life stance doesn’t really have anything to do with religion. (People like to make it seem that way though unfortunately…-____- ) A lot of times pro lifers will claim to be religious because Christianity backs up the pro life stance but that doesn’t make it an exclusive group. So please, can we…ditch this phrase asap? Unless you want to completely ignore all of those LGBTQ pro lifers out there?? Cause that’s not cool bro!
• Please stop pushing back with the “I hope you’re ready to adopt a million children then! Who’s going to take care of all those kids!??” argument. People aren’t rats that need to be dealt with. This makes you sound awful…and I’m not saying that to be controversial. It’s just…bad. I’ve heard this a dozen times from pro choicers and I still don’t really know what kind of answer they expect from me. Who’s going to take care of all those “extra” kids?? ME. And people. People are. People who care about those kids. Pro choice, pro life, pro whatever. They’re out there I guarantee it. I always have to tell people that my family tried to adopt but we had too many kids in our family already. If you’re pulling this card you might as well be telling my that my tie is ugly and you don’t like my face. Instead of using this as a reason in your discussion, why not bring up how you’re working towards improving the quality of foster care systems or helping to lower the cost of adoptions? (Because you’re doing that right?? wink winky) This discussion needs to be more constructive.
• Please stop telling women that motherhood is the end of their careers. I know…pro lifers are the ones telling women “no” but guess what? Women are strong as hell. Yes, motherhood changes you. But find me one woman who, while holding their own child would rather have had an abortion and I’m pretty sure they would choose motherhood every time. (Ask your own mother if you like!) Historically women spent too long being told that they can’t have things in this world - why should we tell them that they can’t be moms and have a beautiful life? I know…it’s ironic coming from someone who thinks abortion isn’t cool but regardless of my beliefs if you’re all for choice then you should be promoting choice, even if it’s motherhood.
Stuff that pro choicers and pro lifers can do asap
• Be. Nice. To. Each Other. STARTING NOW.
• Stop playing tug-a-war over women. Get out there and realize that regardless of your stance, abortion is an important topic about a procedure that can actually affect women negatively, and then decide what can be done to minimize that.
• Go be a part of the solution and support a local crisis pregnancy center. If you claim to be for a woman’s choice then start standing up for the women who don’t feel like they have a choice. These women are out there. They exist. Do not silence them please. I’m talking about the women who got knocked up and are being scared into and driven to abortion clinics by their boyfriends (”because who wants to pay child support??”) or their parents (”No unmarried daughter of mine is going to church [or school] 9 months pregnant”)
• Wanna do something radical? Get together (THE BOTH OF YALLS) and debate civilly. Like, talk it out. Build bridges. COMPROMISE A LITTLE. Yes, it’s true. Pro choicers and pro lifers are not going to agree on the personhood of the child. That’s the root of the conflict…and for the most part it’s just not going to happen. But pro choicers and pro lifers can both at least agree that abortion is a symptom of something larger. And with that in mind there can be progress! No little girl grows up dreaming to one day get an abortion. We both know that it’s not the best choice but some of us believe it’s the only choice, and that it’s honestly necessary despite the risks. 1 in 3 women get an abortion by the time they’re 45. That’s staggering. Why have we failed women so? It’s time to actually start making practical solutions to this problem without name-calling and mud-smearing. There’s just way too much at stake.
- a ticked off jakey
PS there’s a bunch more for both sides but i’m trying to keep things balanced and these are the ones that tick me off the most. i also don’t represent either group as a whole. i’m just me and these are my thoughts.
PPS please read the whole post before reblogging in case there’s something I said that you don’t agree with. i wouldnt want you to get nasty hate mail for something i said.