murderous rivalry

Watch Me: Riverdale

The Archie Comics are an iconic piece of pop culture. I never read them, but they’ve been referenced for decades across TV, film, literature, and probably even music. Everyone’s heard of Archie, Jughead, and the Betty vs Veronica rivalry. 

I’ve been anticipating the premiere of Riverdale since it was first announced. The Riverdale characters are perfect for a teen drama, and no one makes teen dramas like The CW. Gossip Girl and 90210 have been long over, and The Vampire Diaries ends this season. It’s about time that there’s a new scandalous teen high school drama that fills the void, and Riverdale definitely delivers. 

Of course Riverdale is all about Archie Andrews (played by K.J. Apa). I think Archie was the quintessential clueless good guy in the comics, but this teen drama version Archie definitely has an edge. 

Archie is an aspiring music producer, football player, and carrying on a clandestine affair with his teacher Mrs. Grundy (played by Sarah Habel). 

Archie’s dad Fred (played by 90210 icon Luke Perry) is very supportive of his son. Archie’s dad has a business, and hopes Archie will take over, but of course that conflicts with Archie’s music producer dreams. So we get the typical follow your dreams or follow your dad’s footsteps narrative. I don’t mind it since we get more Luke Perry on TV. 

Betty Cooper (played by Lili Reinhart) is the girl next door archetype. Betty is smart, cute, a hard worker, and madly in love with Archie. 

Yet Archie can’t seem to see Betty has feelings for him, since he’s too busy fucking his teacher. Betty wants nothing more than to have Archie as her boyfriend, and be the powercouple in school, though that’s all thwarted by the arrival of the sultry new girl Veronica. 

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Veronica Lodge (played by Camila Mendes) and her hot mom Hermione Lodge (played by Marison Nichols) move to Riverdale to escape the scandal of Veronica’s father being arrested. Sounds like daddy Lodge was sent to jail for a Bernie Madoff situation, so Veronica has to give up her glamorous life in NYC and slump it in suburban Riverdale. Betty Cooper (played by Lili Reinhart) is the good, smart, hardworking, earnest, girl next door. Betty is in love with Archie, but he has no idea. She’s constantly pining over him, and wants to make her move, but her plans to get Archie to herself are even further thwarted with the sultry new girl. 

Thus the Betty, Archie, Veronica love triangle is born. Betty, Archie, and Veronica are probably the most famous love triangle all others are based on. Who will he choose? The blonde, girl next door, who seems like the perfect wife, or the alluring, sexy, intoxicating brunette? It’s the archetype for blondes vs brunettes. I’m excited to see how Betty and Veronica will react to discovering they have even more competition for Archie’s affection. The women of Riverdale can’t get enough of that fit red head. 

I’m still disappointed Witches of East End got canceled after only 2 seasons, but thankfully I get to see Aunt Wendy again. Madchen Amick plays Betty’s overbearing mother Alice. Alice expects a lot from Betty, which forces Betty to be an overachiever. Betty has an older sister that had a breakdown and is estranged from the family since she was in a tumultuous relationship. Though Betty’s sister’s ex recently went missing, which casts a dark cloud over Riverdale. 

I can’t resist a diabolical redhead so of course the character I instantly favor is Cheryl Blossom (played by Madelaine Petsch). Cheryl is the spoiled rich princess who is queen bee in school. She’s head cheerleader, and loves causing drama. Though the Blossom family has been rocked by tragedy since Cheryl’s twin brother Jason has gone missing. Jason and Cheryl were super close, somewhat seemingly incestuously close. Jason fell overboard when he and Cheryl went for a boat ride, and then he wasn’t seen again. Cheryl devastated over her brother’s disappearance, though her bereavement seems to have only made her even more of a bitch. 

Of course it wouldn’t be Archie without his bff Jughead Jones (played by Cole Sprouse). We don’t see much of Jughead in the pilot, but he turns into the narrator of the show, as he’s working on his novel. I always assumed Jughead was the archetype for dumb guy best friend, but the Riverdale version seems very hipster, aspiring author, intelligent Jughead. Cole Sprouse is so unrecognizable from his Suite Life of Zack & Cody days. Puberty suits him well. 

Thankfully there’s a gay character with Kevin Keller (played by Casey Cott). Kevin is Betty’s gay BFF. He’s the token sassy gay bff, but he does get to have a hot affair with DL jock Moose Mason (played by Cody Kearsley). I’m jealous of Kevin. Moose is the hottest guy on the show. 

I’m all for a sassy gay BFF, though I do worry Kevin is just going to be another gay secondary character. I remember when Kevin was added in the comics since it only happened a few years ago. It was a big deal the Archie Comics were adding a gay character. I’m glad he’s on the show, I just hope he’s more than just an afterthought. He is getting his gay affair, and Kevin and Moose do stumble upon the dead body of Jason Blossom which sets up the drama and mystery of the rest of the season. 

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We even get a taste of Josie & The Pussycats. Josie (played by Ashleigh Murray) is an aspiring singer and since Archie produces music he definitely wants to work with Josie. She may even be yet another love interest of Archie’s. Seems like Archie is eventually going to fuck every single woman in Riverdale. 

Only one episode has aired so far, but I’m loving Riverdale. Riverdale is full of beautiful people, sex, drama, love triangles, gays, murder, rivalries, and plenty of scandal. It’s everything I want in a teen drama. I’m excited to see how the rest of the season transpires. 

Okay but John’s hopeful little face: SHAW IT’S NOT A NUMBER! IT’S HMX-1!!!

And Shaw’s all: You naive butterfly, don’t they teach you anything in Spec Ops school?

John: *still hopeful* No?

Shaw: It’s the President, you doof. 

alias: chona/cho/chonsky
pronouns + timezone: she/her/hers + GMT+8
identifiers: taurus horoscope personification, entj, 5evah anxious artist trope, bamf slytherclaw shit, unidentified emerging ‘ne·o·phyte’ coder, that person u asked to fix s/t in ur house but broke it instead, kid waiting for money to come rainin’ down on earth from the skies
favorite plots: bitchcraft, local GG galore, best ride-or-die friendships, Chanel Bonfire feels (who doesn’t like Holly Golightly turned Mommie Dearest?) murder plots, family rivalries, happy ever after with a twist— honestly hand over anything that sounds like a dark fairytale retelling and I’ll love you for life.
suggestions + hopes for pqadt: Warm community w/ approachable staff and members that you can chill with :^) And plots that you can cry over and make mixes + graphics + developmental stuff for, ofc.

edit: damn my eyes missed the suggestions portion. anything challenge-related is cool! maybe it’s just me but i love collecting icons haha. partner roulette is also a lovely way to pair up people in need of threads. also, should there be poltergeists, i can suggest moirai-like plot stirrers (basically there’s an account set up for this purpose, and someone can be its handler; coming in to cause chaos on threads that signed up for it)
lastly:

sUBURBAN GOTHIC RADIO AYYYYYYY

a gif: 

the gif below is a ghost haunting your house. how screwed are you?:

uHMMM