murder dem

“It didn't really matter to either whether they were the one swinging or pushing. As long as they were doing it with their friend.”

sometimes...

i just imagine myself playing basketball with bangtan and going one on one with Yoongi and they thinking its cute and its all fun and games until I MURDER DEM ANKLES I WANT TO DESTROY MIN YOONGI IN BASKETBALL TELL MY NIGGA TO BALL UP THIS AINT WHAT HE WANT

anonymous asked:

since you did a forensics course, can you tell us accurate murder tips? ALL DEM MURDER TIPS i need this for my creative writing coursework of course

my time has come

So I’m not going to go into extreme detail as I don’t want the police knocking my door down this weekend because some psycho got on the internet, but I will give some helpful tips.

  1. The store clerk is more likely to remember someone buying 15 balls of twine than someone buying DIY ornament supplies.
    Buy your tools with cash over a period of time from different places. Make sure you throw other inconspicuous items in to make your shopping list look as innocent as possible.

  2. Never use your own computer in your plan
    No matter how careful you are to make sure you’ve deleted all google map searches for best body dumping sites, the dudes down in computer forensics will be able to dig it back up. If you need a computer use the one at the public library.

  3. Change your gloves
    After about 15 minutes, the oils secreted from your fingertips will start to leak through the gloves, making you start to leave finger prints. I recommend buying a box of latex gloves from the grocery store and taking them with you

  4. Don’t use a gun
    As tempting as it is to grab your grandpa’s favorite rifle Charlotte and use her to do Aunt Edgar in, it’s not you’re best idea. Due to rifling leaving unique markings on the bullet, it is very easy to trace the bullet to the gun.

  5. Memorize your alibi
    If the po-po need to take you’re statement (and they will), you’re going to want to have a solid alibi to throw them off your scent, and making something up on the spot just isn’t going to cut it.

Hope I was able to help with your “creative writing” *eyebrow wiggle*

please note that the information given is by no means meant to be taken and used to harm others; I have provided it as an aid for writers and the curious and have not inteded it to be put to use anywhere except on paper

if anyone wants more info feel free to message me I love doing this

Master Post

  • me: *waits for hannibal s4*
  • me on day 1: i just wanna see will and hannibal murder some dem rude
  • me on day 5: i just wanna see will and hannibal cooking together
  • me on day 16: i just wanna see will and hannibal being domestic cannibals
  • me on day 100000: I JuST WANT TO SEE WILL AND HANNIBAL EATING FANCY LEFT OVERS SNUGGLING ON THE EXPENSIVE LEATHER COUCH WATCHING CHOPPED RERUNS cAN'T I HAVE GOOD THINGS
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Murder Dem - Underworld