murder bike

How To Find Me Basically Anywhere

Friend #1: “Where’s Cass?”

Friend #2: “I Got This.” *Clears Throat*

Friend #2: “There Were 13 Victims Of The Columbine Shooting.”

Me: *Crashes Threw A Window*

Me: “FIRST OF ALL THERE WERE 15 VICTIMS AND SECONDLY FUCK YOU AND YOUR SISTER’S BIKE.”

anonymous asked:

Headcanon about when James told the marauders that Lily was having a baby? P.S: I love your blog!

This is so important in so many different levels. I swear to God.

  • Let’s start with our baby Remus, because he was the first one to know. He was kinda expecting it, because Lily and James were acting a little bit weird in the past few weeks. I mean, James has always been naturally all mother hen but the thing was out of control lately, because James was all
  • ‘OI, Evans, you can’t walk around without socks, it’s winter, it’s cold, you must be warm all the time, do you need any blankets. and please can you stop eating all this muggle junk-food it can’t be healthy and SIRIUS CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TAKING MY WIFE TO RIDE ON THIS MASS MURDER YOU CALL YOUR BIKE, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW WRONG THIS COULD END’

  • So Remus our little baby was all ‘oh, that’s amazing prongs, I’m really happy for you guys’, all restrained as he always is but his hand is definitely trembling when he serves James some tea, and James is totally seeing how he’s fighting back his emotions and trying not to cry

  • buT THEN JAMES STARTS TO CRY FIRST BECAUSE HE IS JUST SEEING HOW GENUINELY HAPPY REMUS IS, AND IT MEANS SO MUCH AND JAMES IS AN EMOTIONAL CRYING BABY AND IN A FEW MINUTES THEY ARE BOTH SNIFFING IN SILENCE AND TRYING TO HOLD ON A DECENT CONVERSATION BUT IT’S NOT WORKING AT ALL, SO REMUS OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SAY SOMETHING THAT WILL BE PROBABLY VERY EMBARRASSING AND UNNECESSARILY EMOTIONAL BUT LILY SUDDENLY WALKS IN THE KITCHEN AND THEY BOTH TRY TO HIDE THEIR CRYING FACES BUT LILY TOTALLY GETS IT AND JUST SMILES FONDLY BECAUSE OMG THEY’RE ADORABLE DORKS

  • Then it’s Peter’s turn and James and Remus totally burst in his house at a very reasonable hour like 4AM because they suddenly NEED THE WORLD TO KNOW ABOUT LILY’S PREGNANCY and Peter almost has a heart attack tbh

  • Peter drops everything he was carrying and runs to hug James and Remus (’it’s not my child, wormtail, why are you congratulating me’)

  • So it’s time to bring the news to Sirius. Oh yes, Sirius was the last one to know

  • And yes Sirius positively passed out

  • Actually he was the last one to know about it because James knew exactly how Sirius would react and he was trying to hold up this moment for as long as he could

  • Eventually it was not possible to hide it anymore, and after a long session of deep-breathing James confesses Lily’s pregnant and all of them (the marauders and lily) hold their breath together, their eyes fixed on Sirius, all of them waiting for an explosion…but Sirius spends an entire and mortifying minute in silence

  • ‘What do mean pregnant?’ he asks very, very calmly (what just make the others even more distressed)

  • ‘I mean that there’s a fucking baby growing up inside Lily’

  • Another moment of sepulchral silence and James is all 'can you please start freaking out already I was counting on you because I need the comfort to know that you’re less prepared for parenthood than I am thank you’

  • SO SIRIUS COMPLETELY LOSE HIS SHIT OVER THE WORD PARENTHOOD AND WE HAVE ALL THE SITUATION IN MY FIRST HEADCANON LINKED HERE

  • So okay the months pass really fast then and Sirius is obsessively measuring Lily’s belly like EVERY DAY and 'YES IT DEFINITELY GREW AN INCH OR SO OMG LILY YOU’RE SO MUCH PREGNANT, I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU HOW MUCH PREGNANT YOU ACTUALLY ARE’

  • And Remus and Peter start a personal fight to know who will successfully attend to all Lily’s food craving, and Remus was so proud of himself for bring to her pickle juice and noodles with fried cheese and milk at 3AM

  • What was actually not a mystery at all because Sirius was known for being a noticeable nocturne eater so Remus was just used to purchase odd food in completely unreasonable hours

  • AND YOU CAN ACTUALLY FIND LILY AND SIRIUS BANDING TOGETHER TO EAT PEPPERONI WITH PEANUT BUTTER AT FOUR IN THE MORNING AND REMUS AND JAMES ARE ABSOLUTELY GROSSED OUT

  • Sirius spends then NINE MONTHS bringing a list of names to James and James had to vehemently deny each one of them because, honestly, Tiberius?

  • Then the time has come to tell Sirius he will be the godfather and they’re all expecting another explosion of emotions but Sirius just looks deeply inside James’ eyes and ‘weLL THAT MEANS THAT I HAVE 43.4% OF PARTICIPATION ON THE NAME’S CHOICE’ and takes a list of more twenty five names he was waiting to show on the right occasion out of his pocket

  • and James once had to knock on Remus’ door at 2AM just to make sure that Remus’ secret middle name wasn’t really Ptolemy because Sirius was INSISTING that they should name their kid after Remus

  • and so Sirius keeps inventing the most absurd middle names to Remus just to use that as an excuse

  • LIKE ‘LUDOVIC POTTER YOU WERE NAMED AFTER THE MOST FABULOUS WEREWOLF’ AND ‘SHUT UP REMUS LUDOVIC LUPIN OR I’M NOT TAKING YOUR NAME WHEN WE GET MARRIED’

  • and they were all just so happy and scared at the same time, because let’s face it, they were all little babies in their twenties but they already loved Harry so much

  • And they all kissed Lily’s belly and talked to the baby all the time (’Hey, Harry, this here is Ludovic, your old uncle’, ‘SHUT UP PADFOOT’)

I know this was supposed to be just about the moment Lily and James tell the marauders about her pregnancy, but I couldn’t help. I’m so sorry, but actually I’m not.

anonymous asked:

oh man i hope the next game has lots of new fun stuff like new species and maybe a bakery and being able to work at all the shops and being able to attend therapy sessions w doctor shrunk to come to terms with the crippling loneliness of being the only human, also fish villagers and diving to an underwater city and riding bikes and murdering unwanted villagers, strippers, a marriage system, real time pooping, being able to scream into the void, and also long hair

2

Tiny child with giant ass hammer. im surprised it doesn’t squeak too

finally figured out sunstone/Onodas weapon!
gunna draw midousuji/onyx’s next

more gem AU for my soul

  • Joe in TGG: "I started dealing drugs. I mean, the bike thing’s a great cover, right?"
  • Wiggins in HLV: "Maybe ’cause you cycle to work every morning, shower when you get there an’ then dress in the clothes you brought with you. You keep your shirts folded ... ready to pack."
  • The bike thing is just a cover. Huh.