muppet-rights

That moment you realize most of your OTPs are...

Panda and a Tiger (Po & Tigress)

Fox and a Bunny (Nick & Judy)

Frog and a Pig (Kermit & Piggy)

This is my life now guys….
I’m such an interspecies shipper trash.

7

“A black spot? You dare to give me a black spot? And it’s drawn on a page from The Bible. You tore a page from the Holy Scriptures to make a pirate’s death sentence? Ohhhh, the red hot gates of hell are creeping toward you! Satan is heatin’ his pokers for you, you blasphemous heathens! FALL DOWN ON YOUR KNEES and BEG for deliverance from damnation! … Very good. You’re forgiven. NOW UNTIE ME!”

“The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD.”

The Jim Henson Company breaks off business with Chick-Fil-A after their owner says his company is against gay marriage. 

Source

true facts - starter sentences

Based off of the “True Facts” series by youtuber zefrank1. If you have not watched these videos… please do. As always, if you want to change any pronouns / words, feel free to!

  • ❛ Here we will explore true facts about the _____. ❜
  • ❛ They look like a cotton ball grew a face. And legs. ❜
  • ❛ Because they are vulnerable, they disguise themselves as muppets. ❜
  • ❛ Try it right now. Focus on an object and bob your head up and down. ❜
  • ❛ You do look like an idiot. ❜
  • ❛ Oh my, that’s cute. He’s like a little baby. ❜
  • ❛ Wait, what are you doing to that bird? ❜
  • ❛ Don’t try to hide it, I already saw it. ❜
  • ❛ Because we eat hamburgers. ❜
  • ❛ And this is why it’s polite to throw up at an owl dinner party. ❜
  • ❛ If silence were loudness, they would be the loudest. ❜
  • ❛ Try riding a bicycle at night and picking up a moving burrito with your feet based on the sound that it makes. ❜
  • ❛ That is how a _____ do. ❜
  • ❛ Why are you fairytale children always getting lost in forests. ❜
  • ❛ It’s impossible to get a read on what these little bastards are thinking. ❜
  • ❛ Is _____ mad? No… ❜
  • ❛ Dirty science. ❜
  • ❛ Whoa, what was that?! ❜
  • ❛ Imagine a colour that you can’t even imagine. Now do that nine more times. ❜
  • ❛ That explains why ____ dresses like an idiot. ❜
  • ❛ That’s some Mortal Kombat finishing move shit right there. ❜
  • ❛ Wait… did that guy just hand him his own arm? ❜
  • ❛ Did you hear the story about ____ and _____? One day… That’s it. That’s the whole story. ❜
  • ❛ If you’re afraid of clowns… Stay afraid. Stay very afraid. ❜
  • ❛ _____ resembles a cat who was bitten by a vampire and halfway through the transformation, said ‘screw it’. ❜
  • ❛ Learn how to use a spoon. It’s not an instrument. ❜
  • ❛ That’s a recipe for chafing. ❜
  • ❛ Adults need to be taken more seriously. ❜
  • ❛ YOLO. ❜
  • ❛ Any bigger and it’s just… embarrassing. ❜
  • ❛ Come, let me see that smile. … Let’s walk back from the smiling. ❜
  • ❛ It tastes like a fish farted on a dirty beach cracker. ❜
  • ❛ As my mother used to say, ‘A hole is a hole’. ❜
  • ❛ If you were Jiminy Cricket, you should shit your pants right about now. ❜
  • ❛ Cool little alien karate chop hands. ❜
  • ❛ How do you take your coffee – one hump or two? I mean… I wanna hump you. ❜
  • ❛ That’s terrifying… Oh wait, that’s a typo. ❜
  • ❛ I told you, I’m not going to narrate the footage of poop. ❜
  • ❛ Run away, Santa baby! ❜
  • ❛ Imagine getting into a car and putting your head into the seat and steering with your butt. ❜
  • ❛ Along the way, he must face challengers who seek to claim his turd ball. ❜
  • ❛ The female angler fish comes in many shapes, colours and shades… of ugly. ❜
  • ❛ It’s like a rainbow… of ugly. ❜
  • ❛ He’s tiny by comparison. Like a tiny little baby. ❜
  • ❛ The human male is a very loud, annoying and unnecessarily complicated pair of gonads. ❜
  • ❛ Holy crap, did you –?! What the fu– ❜
  • ❛ Sadly, they and their vanity pay the ultimate price. Death. ❜
  • ❛ It’s dark as hell down there, and someone needs to light up that pretty, pretty lady. ❜
  • ❛ It could fart fire and teleport two inches in any direction. ❜
  • ❛ Who did this research? ______? Oh, jeez… ❜
  • ❛ There is no such thing as a pit of boners in nature. ❜
  • ❛ When it comes to _____ as long as water is concerned, everything is the deep end. ❜
  • ❛ That’s not a fairy. Fairies have wings and tiny underpants. ❜
  • ❛ Deep in the depths of the o-see-un. ❜
  • ❛ It looks like an alien got freaky with a weather balloon. ❜
  • ❛ My search history does contain ‘pictures of an octopus’s butt’. ❜
  • ❛ Sex looks really, really boring. Like we’re just saying ‘hello’ to each other. ❜
  • ❛ Basically, everything they do is hardcore. ❜
  • ❛ Just beautiful. Sort of like the ending of Charlotte’s Web. Except underwater. ❜