mummy movie

@ Hollywood, hire me. I fixed the new Mummy movie without even watching a trailer

Tom Cruise and Young Hot Blonde™ enter the crypt, Tom in the lead because he is the manly protector. Their flashlight beams eventually illuminate a sarcophagus carved in the likeness of a beautiful Princess. 

Tom Cruise approaches the sarcophagus, moves to open it. 

Young Hot Blonde™: Don’t do the thing.

Tom Cruise: I’m going to do the thing. *Shoves sarcophagus open*

They cough as dust fills the air. Just as it begins to clear, Brendan Frasier shoots upright, drawing his gun and immediately shooting Tom Cruise in the head.

“I thought I told Evy not to put me down for mummification,” he mutters as he looks at his surroundings. He is inexplicably not decomposed or mummified, just vaguely wrapped in Charmin. Glances at a now very dead Tom Cruise. “Oops.”

Young Hot Blonde™: How… how did this happen?

Brendan Frasier: Well, it’s a long story, I’ll have to start at the beginning.

Then they just replay the entirety of ‘The Mummy’ (1999).

After credits scene:

Young Hot Blonde™: That still doesn’t explain how you ended up alive in a sarcophagus in the year 2017.

Brendan Frasier: Oh, yeah, no fucking clue. 

10

gif request meme: (paiqeturco asked) the mummy + favorite character

evelyn “evie” o'connell (née carnahan); “the only thing that scares me, mr. o'connell, are your manners.”

3

Newt: Once again, they are my biological children.
Jacob: And once again, I don’t believe you. 

(Parks and Recreation; season 7, episode 12: One Last Ride) 

8

LEGENDS: A little bit early but here is my now second annual Halloween tumblr post.

My last one exploded on tumblr and got over 18,000 notes. 
You can find that one HERE

Who else is excited for Halloween?! I know I am…

I just saw on imdb that they’re doing another The Mummy movie (with tom cruise and some army tanks and everything)

What’s the point when this masterpiece exists?

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Originally posted by nefertiris