I messed up my nipples really bad from allowing an improper latch so I have to feed Roslyn using my finger and a syringe with a tube until they’re healed enough to try nursing again. I have to pump every two hours and my boobs are starting to feel rock hard, especially my left one and I’m nervous about infection. (We have a dr appt this morning for Roslyn’s jaundice so I’m going to ask about it!) Breastfeeding is already quite the challenge but I don’t want to give up.
I’m so damn exhausted, I’ve barely had a chance to catch up on any sleep since my labor which was around 48 hours long! I’m loving every moment, though. My midwife is having me sleep for four hours straight at some point today so Austin will have to feed her. We will see how that goes! Wow, life is so different already.
Here we go again
As most of my followers probably know I gave birth to my son Kendrick three weeks ago. He’s perfect in almost every way - except he only has one kidney. It’s currently not functioning at it’s full capacity and will likely require corrective surgery. Unfortunately, his specialist isn’t in our insurance network and they are refusing him care because we can’t put up the down payment for his treatment. I tried other specialists but we’re basically at a stand still - it’s the same problem with all of them - they’re all not covered and we can’t get a referral due to issues with his coverage.
I can’t work right now because I have to spend my time taking him to doctors and hospitals AND I can’t exactly afford daycare for him so we’re really tight for money. Between the hospital bills he already has, our normal utility expenses and being down to one income, I honestly don’t know what to do. I can’t get any assistance for food or formula for him because my fiance makes too much money. We’re poor, just not poor enough.
So I hate to ask for handouts or help, I’m too much of a prideful person but it’s not just about me anymore. I have to make sure my son will be okay too. I took the donate button off my blog, PayPal was taking a lot of money from the donations i was getting, so if you’d like to help us out, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org - you can send it there. Also keep us in your thoughts.
Anyone who donates I will find something to give you in return but right now I have nothing to give. Anything helps, it’s all appreciated. And if you can’t donate, share and we’ll hopefully figure it out. I’ll probably be starting a gofundme, but I’ve heard something about a percentage being taken off for the website or smth idk, I have to do some research, but anything helps. Thanks for reading, Kendrick thanks you!
Children are not pets or objects adults can use for their own purposes. Kids are not problems to be resolved.
Unfortunately, many parents treat their kids as if they’re enemies, constantly battling to get their child/ren to do what they want. Parents like this rarely think about their child/ren’s wants and needs; they just assume that they are right and their children are wrong. This attitude teaches kids that they’re not really people, that love from other people is contingent on their behaviour, and that they don’t have rights. They see any kind of defiance or even disagreement as disrespectful, and railroad their kids with brute force or fear.
Sometimes, kids behave in unacceptable ways, and handling this is challenging for parents. Plus, sometimes parents have to make kids do things they don’t want to do; we all ave to brush our teeth, for example. Dealing with situations like this is difficult, but it’s part of being a parent and we have a responsibility to respect our kids and make sure we’re meeting their physical and emotional needs. Saying ‘it had to be done’ is not an excuse to mistreat or abuse anyone, including children and young people.
I recently had a frankly horrifying conversation where a group of parents flippantly discussed physically restraining their kids during medical and dental procedures. When I pointed out that this should be an absolute last resort, several parents reacted with ridicule, as if trying to explain to their kids that this had to be done and trying to address their fears was ridiculous.
A story I hope you’ll find relevant: when I was a toddler (about 3 or 4 years old), I fell through a glass door and got glass stuck in my forehead and scalp. The daycare centre called my mother, and my mother rushed me to the ER. I had to have multiple pieces of glass pulled out of my skin, and many stitches. My mother held me down and I wriggled and screamed and cried, and she realized what was going on - she stopped holding me down, and I relaxed. The Dr and nurses were able to pull the glass out and stitch me up without issue.
Parents often try to overpower kids with force, instead of thinking ‘what’s the actual problem here, and how can we resolve it? If it can’t be resolved, how can I help and support my child while they deal with it? Is there a way to work around it?’ Going back to our tooth-brushing example, a lot of people have sensory issues that make tooth-brushing difficult, even painful. Obviously we all need to clean our teeth, but that doesn’t mean that restraining a child and forcibly cleaning their teeth is an acceptable solution! Sometimes a different toothbrush works (especially one with softer bristles), sometimes the problem is actually the toothpaste, sometimes a washcloth can be used instead of a brush, or another implement can be substituted - but without talking to our kids and asking them what’s going on, we’ll never know. Kids in these situations are subjected to something that they often experience as torture because their parents have decided to use force and power over kids instead of approaching them as human beings with valid feelings who are deserving of respect.
Parenting is extremely difficult, one of the most difficult things a person can do, but that doesn’t excuse mistreatment, abuse, and violence. Children are human beings with a full range of emotions, and they have rights. As parents, it’s our job to make sure our kids needs are met and that requires treating them like people, not problems.
Imagine telling your best friend or your spouse “I need time away from you for my own sanity” “I need a break” “I’m so excited we will be seeing less of each other”-imagine posting photos of you excited and the other person crying with the text “I’m so glad they are going back to work after a summer off! I need a break from them!!”
It’s not normal to do it with adults. But it’s all in good fun to do it to your children.
I do not take credit for this. I saw this on Facebook
To the mom who’s breastfeeding: Way to go! It really is an amazing gift to give your baby, for any amount of time that you can manage! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who’s formula feeding: Isn’t science amazing? To think there was a time when a baby with a mother who couldn’t produce enough would suffer, but now? Better living through chemistry! You’re a good mom.
To the cloth diapering mom: Fluffy bums are the cutest, and so friendly on the bank account. You’re a good mom.
To the disposable diapering mom: Damn those things hold a lot, and it’s excellent to not worry about leakage and laundry! You’re a good mom.
To the mom who stays home: I can imagine it isn’t easy doing what you do, but to spend those precious years with your babies must be amazing. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who works: It’s wonderful that you’re sticking to your career, you’re a positive role model for your children in so many ways, it’s fantastic. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who had to feed her kids from the drive thru all week because you’re too worn out to cook or go grocery shopping: You’re feeding your kids, and hey, I bet they aren’t complaining! Sometimes sanity can indeed be found in a white bag with a big red chick on it. You’re a good mom.
To the mom who gave her kids a homecooked breakfast lunch and dinner for the past week: Excellent! Good nutrition is important, and they’re learning to enjoy healthy foods at an early age, a boon for the rest of their lives. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the kids who are sitting quietly and using their manners in the fancy restaurant: Kudos, it takes a lot to maintain order with children in a place where they can’t run around. You’re a good mom.
To the mom with the toddler having a meltdown in the cereal aisle: they always seem to pick the most embarrassing places to lose their minds don’t they? We’ve all been through it. You’re a good mom.
To the moms who judge other moms for ANY of the above?