mumber

ufonaut  asked:

crash course on arctic monkeys? pls

The Band

Alex Turner

  • singer, songwriter, guitarist
  • deceptively tiny - a beAN in fact
  • many different hair eras - pick your favourite and defend it with your life
  • a lyrical genius but unable to string a normal sentence together in everyday conversation (that rock ‘n’ roll, eh?)
  • used to go out with Alexa Chung, they were beautiful and looked like a renaissance painting when they kissed and everyone cried when they broke up
  • dances like a drunk uncle at a family barbeque but no one will stop him? someone please save him from his own hubris

Matt Helders

  • drummer, aka the agile beast, aka matthew j helders iii
  • strong and friendly
  • FALSETTO
  • a beautiful and funny man
  • is engaged to the girl (Breana) in the suck it and see video, a fact thay makes me die of of laughter everytime i think about it. recently announced that soon they shall be parents
  • Kayne once said he was almost as good as Phil Collins, Matt probably cried when he heard

Jamie Cook

  • guitarist
  • he has the strongest accent of them all it’s glorious
  • “”jameh””
  • hates twinnings tea
  • married to the wonderful katie, also soon to be a father
  • the babies first word will probably be “eh”

Nick O’ Malley

  • bassist
  • an unproblematic cinnamon roll?
  • Yellamo Salohcin
  • Has a beautiful baby boy named Hearst, the first tru Dad of the band
  • only joined after the first album was out for four months, replacing andy nicholson, learned the entire repetoire in two days

they’ve all been friends since they were tiny so there’s never any drama or fights or anything, it’s all good vibes and happy times? a good bunch of people


The Albums

Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not

  • sort of a concept album except not really, deals with themes of growing up and going out in the north of england
  • “oh well they might wear classic reeboks/or knackered converse/or tracky bottoms tucked in socks”
  • a massive massive success, fastest selling album in british chart history etc etc
  • makes u all nostalgic for the good times u never experienced u kno

Favourite Worst Nightmare

  • sounds harder and louder sort of
  • a lot of ppls fave album? i can see why its very very good
  • went straight to mumber 1, won awards etc etc
  • srsly its so good
  • LETS’AVEAGAMEONTHETEDDYPICKERNOTQUICKENOUGHCANI’AVEITQUICKERALREADYTHICKANDYERGETTIN’THICKER

Humbug

  • my favourite album
  • some o’ that ‘umbug music, that full moon music eh?
  • lyrically out of this world, above and beyond anything else ive ever heard
  • produced by josh homme, divided fans over their new sound
  • dance little liar?? secret door?? pretty visitors?? crying lightning?? what a good glorious album??
  • the best hair era imho
  • atmospheric and dreamy like alexs voice is so? but still really exciting, lots of good sing-along songs too. but dark and broody u kno

Suck It And See

AM

  • the album that got me into the arctic monkeys
  • made them the global sucess they are today, but also like. divided fans once more bc suddenly am were popular and that always shakes things up
  • [[quiff and leather intensifies]]
  • i still unironically love it i listen to it like once a week
  • the last song is actually a john cooper clarke poem al reworked
  • alas al has now lost the quiff and is now growing some sort of gel monstrosity on his scalp, also he refuses to shave, maybe his new girlfriend taylor can help

Other Projects

Miles Kane + The Last Shadow Puppets

  • on the FWN tour the monkeys were supported by a band called The Rascals, fronted by one Mr. Miles Kane, a beautiful and talented turtle from liverpool
  • Miles and Alex immediatley fell in love became best friends and started writing songs together
  • in 2008, in between FWN and Humbug, they released an album called The Age Of The Understatement under the name of The Last Shadow Puppets
  • wikipedia describes it as ‘baroque’ and i really cant fault that
  • its big and loud and glourious and beautiful and it sounds like a western or a thriller or some other massive vista spanning soundtrack
  • its honestly the best thing either of them have ever done
  • Al and Mi keep doing things that make us think there’ll be another one, in the last few weeks the rumour mill has been especially busy
  • Also you should definitley listen to Miles’ own albums, Colour of the Trap and Don’t Forget Who You Are, as Miles is beautiful and stylish and one of my favourite people and an astoundingly talented musician and both Noel and Paul Weller guest star on his albums
  • oh yeah and alex bought him and miles matching turtlenecks for christmas
  • a handy and useful masterpost of Alex and Miles interactions
  • Alex and Miles are also. Uh. Look one time NME gave them the “Pete‘n’Carl” award.
  • i mean look at this

Originally posted by betheastralplane

Submarine Soundtrack

  • Richard Ayoade is an old friend of the band and asked Al to do the soundtrack to his film, Submarine, so Alex did and its beautiful
  • it sounds like stars and dreams and midnight and fireworks
  • i cry almost every single time i listen to it

More Fun Arctic Monkeys Facts

  • the NME is obsessed with them they had an entire issue dedicated to AM when it came out
  • oh yeah the band also has like a secret “”alter ego”” called The Death Ramps which is like? a fake biker gang that alex made up so they could release stuff pseudonymously. also miles kane is a member and alex made them all matching death ramps rings and he and miles never take theirs off
  • this is a very useful masterpost and has more accurate info
  • and this cover compilation is also very nice indeed
  • jamie cook used to work as a tiler even when he was still in the band
  • matt is also a dj he’s very very cool like that
  • matt’s tour diaries are essential viewing
  • oh yeah and alex’s short story A Choice of Three which is really good
  • al contibuted to the Mini Mansions song Vertigo and it’s awful but his verse is weirdly mesmerising. but the rest of it is really bad, als part is from 1:29 to 2:15 so u can ignore the rest
  • honestly one of the coolest and my most favourite bands please enjoy your journey
Euphoria

You were the weird girl in high school, the 5 year reunion was a disaster, and now it’s your ten year high school reunion. You planned on not going, but Pietro, your best friend, isn’t going to let you miss it and surprise your former classmates. At first he was just going to be your date, but now you’re pretending you’re happily married and have a kid, and you’re both enjoying your classmate’s dumbfounded faces. Only problem is, now you wish it were true.

Warning: sexual references/situations, language

Pairing: Pietro x Reader

Words:  4,116

Keep reading

2

“Batgirl doesn’t need cover. Those Guards are no match for her. Not even close. None of us Robins were ever as good as Batgirl. We knew it. Drove us all crazy. She’s got the the legs of a ballerina… …and the brains of a librarian… but that’s not all. It never was. I think it was because she didn’t do what she does for revenge. She doesn’t fight for some ghost. She fights for someone alive.”

“Batgirl will never stop. That woman doesn’t need us to protect her from anyone… …we need to protect her from herself.”

"Let Me Show You"

Requested by @syntheticlover

Thank you for requesting this!

(I had to re-write this because tumblr is an asshole k)

“Babe come on, its starting” Simon shouted from the living room. She walked in placing two bottles on the coffee table. She sat next to him, leaning into him softly.

Her and Simon had been dating for around 2 months, it had been amazing.
She was hated on a little bit by the fans, she was a bit bigger than the ‘average’ girl. When I say average I mean bigger than what society wants us to be. Simon had tweeted about it multiple times and it had died down a bit, but it still happened.

He hooked his finger under her chin, puilling her in closer as his lips collided with hers. The boys whistled behind them as they pulled away from one another. She looked down at her socks blushing, as he took her into his embrace.

“Jamien, whats wrong?” Simon had said to her, he had felt her tense up as his hand travelled up and down her thigh.

“Nothing.” She whispered back to him, not wanting to tell him she felt uncomfortable with PDA around the others.

“Come with me, I need to talk to you” He said to her, taking her hand in his own. He pulled her up to his room, shutting the door softly behind them. They laid on the bed, their backs propped up against the pillows.

“Baby, why do I feel like you dont want me to show affection to you?” He asked, generally concerned for his girlfriend.
“I…I just feel like you could do so much better. I mean I’m not exactly the skinniest of people and showing affection to people is strange to me. Everyone just seems to turn their head and I’m just not used to the way you treat me.”

“Jamien, I love you. You’re beautiful, and amazing and strong and I love you. You shouldnt feel insecure or scared to show affection but, if you’re uncomfortable I’ll knock it off until you’re used to it” Hw said to her, she gasped softly as it was the first time he had said that he loved her.


“Let me show you how much I love you.” He whispered into her ear, nibbling on her earlobe softly. He kissed down her neck, only disconnecting the skin when he slid her shirt over her head.

He kissed down the valley of her breasts, towards her pantie line before sliding her leggings and panties down her legs. “Beautiful.” He mumbered as his head slipped between her legs.

Letting your toddler make their own decisions for things is really cool because it’s like “Wow, look how independent my toddler is, he can pick out his own clothes!” But it’s also actually really annoyimg because we just spent the last half hour picking out what Avenger granola bar he wanted only for him to tell me that he’s now going to save that specific one for tomorrow.

The other day Gaia stuck her finger in a pencil sharper and cut a chunck of skin off.

Omg the screaming and blood! It was everywhere. She was naked just out of the shower and I had pjs on and we were both covered along with a rea towl.

So after putting pressure on and her falling asleep from screaming we put a nappy on her and went to after hours, I was still in my bloody pjs.

She woke up in the car happy as larry, pointing her bloody mess at everything and everyone, drinking water, asking about the baby crying down the hall.

End result was everything was fine and we now know babys bleed a fucking lot

Cheeseburger in paradise lyrics

CHEESEBEURGGERS IN PARADIE!

[SONG LINK]

jatu na mib my carnibber hab'ih

willy dilly seventy day

waysa whosa nada diddy no SUN-flower seed

hayka laka carriage a soakin up marie

na'a have these wonderful dreams

some kinda sexual streak

da zucchini fettuccine mumber d'wee

a big wandon and a big “WANNA BEAN”

cheese burger in paradise

gibba non'ur and a im just right

qatu vadick and im just size

cheese burger in paradise

hurbur dattu your time sailor jest, he’s the same thing again and again

warm beer and bread, hazay can raise the dead

HRAMA AZIBBY DIBU AND A RANNA GIBBY DA

GRIME, CHAY, SHRIMPER THESE DAYS

ADAY FORDA GET WADA NEE

ana bana for banadas and dagger me, but the fellas got creation for the mama BOO

cheeseburger is paradise

beedee and bread the monster is nice

heaven on earth and im just ice

cheeseburger and paRADISE

A LAK MOM WITH LETTUCE AND TOMATO

HAMASALA LETTUCE AND FRENCH DIED POTATO

DICK KOSHER PICKLE AND A KOTAM PEEDER

OH GODAMAY WHICH WAY TO THAT SCARECROW

cheeseburger in paradie

bebben on her and im just cry

woodur and damn and a snacker awhy

A GET A cheese burger in paradah

cheese burger in paradise

just a cheese burger in PARADAH