funny story

when I was younger (like, 2 maybe, very young) my parents took me and my even younger sister out to dinner. now, being the small, undeveloped little sack of flesh I was, I didn’t have a grain of sense. when stupid 2yr old me couldn’t find her cutlery (probably cause they hadn’t set any for a toddler), I said, very loudly, “WHERE’S MY FORK AND KNIFE???”

however, due to my uncoordinated child mouth apparatus mixed with my australian accent (which slurs almost any word that exists your sound hole), it sounded alot like I had just screamed “WHEERS MY FUCKIN KNIFE???”

needless to say all eyes were on our table and my mum and dad had probably never felt more embarrassed in their lives.


drinking doesn’t mean being a violent alcoholic? and jfc smoking cigarettes isn’t doing meth. half of family - dad, mum, brother, my grandad who is 80+… - and friends smoke, it’s not a big deal, just grow up.

Also, I bought a lightsaber so like…you’re all doomed. I act such a fool with fake weapons, that’s why mum and dad never let me have the purple one like I wanted as a kid…because they’re well aware of what I do when handed blunt objects.

I’ve got 27 more days, the countdown is getting real! I’m moving to Canada with Mum, Dad and baby Oak! What an adventure its going to be!!

We’ve been planning our move for a looooonnnnngggg time and its almost time to go. I’m going to miss my fields, but I’m going to live near the water and a beach. Man oh man its going to be awesome!


Season: 1
Main Pairing(s): Stydia|scallison
Side pairing(s): Sciles|Allydia
Description: (original AU) in which Scott and Lydia are step-siblings since they were 6 year olds. Allison and Stiles are siblings too but same mum, same dad (Claudia and Chris) but Claudia died when Allison was 11 and stiles was 10 and Chris remarried; Victoria. The Argents (including stiles) move to Beacon Hills where they fall in love with The Martin-McCalls.

“Lydia! Hurry up or else I’m going to leave your ass!” Scott yelled from the bottom of the stairs as he slung his backpack on his shoulder. He was waiting for the redhead, like always, so they could ride to school. Scott McCall was a sixteen year old with an outgoing personality but was at the same time a little shy around people. His favourite sport is Lacrosse even if he was extremely bad at it compared to the other team members, especially Jackson Whittemore the team captain. He didn’t care though, because he knew one day he’ll get the first line position and that day will be today.

Start of term, everybody was hyped about meeting up with their old friends again. Lydia the most. Unlike Scott who was a shy boy with awkward socialising skills, Lydia was the school Queen. She ruled Beacon Hills High with every step she took. Her lucious silky strawberry blond (not red, because red is too common and lacks originality. Lydia Martin is not a redhead, she is strawberry blonde.) hair always bouncing on her back as she struts down the halls of school, hips swaying from side to side loring in any human with eyes and making them fall to their knees.

To say the least Lydia was Popular whilst her brother (they’ve grown too close to consider them step siblings) was more or less a nerd, with out the smart trait (so basically a loser). Not that he minds, he hate the popular kids apart from Lydia and her friend Danny who was Scott’s lab partner.

Descending from the stairs Lydia scoffed and rolled her eyes. “And Who is the one with the car exactly?” She retorted to his earlier remark.

“Hurry up, princess, I’m sure it doesn’t take a century to walk down the stairs. I need to get to practice so I can practice before the try outs this afternoon!”
After grabbing her Louis Vuitton bag Lydia followed Scott out of the door.


“Just let yourself breathe for a change,” said the brunette, rubbing her brother’s shoulder comfortingly. “Loosen yourself, chillax. I’m pretty sure Beacon Hills High isn’t that bad.”

The buzz cut boy beside her shook his head vigorously as he dug inside his backpack for his inhaler. His chest ached and he felt as if he couldn’t breathe. It was always like this, whenever Stiles and his family moved to a new town. He was scared of never fitting in, or being rejected. Allison found it funny how he always seemed to make at least four new friends the very first week of school whenever they moved yet he’s still always anxious about it every time.

After Intaking two large puffs of the chemicals Stiles got up from the bench and looked over at te caramel skinned man in black suit walking towards them. “Good morning, I’m Mr Lerman the vice principle, you must be Stiles and Allison Argent.?”

“Yes.” Allison nodded and the two followed the man inside. “So it says in your files you’re from San Fransisco?” Asked Mr Lerman as they walked through the doors and down the halls.

“Yes, but we’re not originally from there, we’ve lived there for more than a year. Our family moves around a lot because of our father’s job.”

“Well I hope Beacon Hills is your last stop for a while.” He charmed before opening the door to a classroom.

Turning to her brother Allison whispered, “hey you don’t happen to have a pen do you?” Stupid of her to forget a pen on the first day, she was so busy rushing to get to school and away from their highly over protective step mother that she left her pencil case at home.

“No,” stiles shook his head, “sorry.”
The two entered and many people in the classroom turned to them. Quickly and briefly the vice principle introduced them before making his way out of the class. The teacher turned to them and asked them to take their seats at the back. There was two vacant seats next to each other near the back which Stiles was relieved by since he didn’t like the attention of others.

Allison sat down and got out a plain empty notebook and crossed her arms on the table, inwardly wishing the English teacher would make them read and not write for the sake of her pride. Unfortunately her prayers weren’t answered as no second later the teacher told them to pick up their pens and copy the work on the board.

The boy in front of her shifted slightly stretching out his neck to see the board clearer and she caught a glimpse of three pens on his table plus the one he was writing with. It couldn’t hurt to ask for one, could it?

“Erm, excuse me.” Scott whipped around and looked at her.
“I’m sorry am I blocking the way?” He asked nervously.
Shaking her head she smiled at his nerves. “No not at all, I was wondering if- well, you see I was in a hurry today and I being an idiot completely forgot my pencil case and I was wondering if -” he held a pen in her face which caused her to stop her rambling which Scott found rather cute. “Thanks.” She said before she took the pen and began to write.

Tryouts was a disaster! Scott thought he had first line in the bag but coach didn’t seem to care because either way he sucked and was sat on the bench for the losers.

“Don’t worry Scotty you’ll get it next time!” Lydia encouraged in a soft voice from where she sat. He turned to look up at her but was met by long brown curls and a small smile. It was Allison from English class, she was sitting beside Lydia and they looked to be talking like they’ve been friends since birth.

Before Scott could shoot her a small smile back he was pulled back from his stare when a boy slumped down next to him on the bench, a groan escaping his lips. “I can’t believe I’m sitting on the loser bench… Fûcking asshole, who does he think he is?” He mumbled to himself completely oblivious to Scott beside him.

“Erm hi?”
Stiles turned to the shaggy haired brown eyed fella and sighed, he was hoping to be on the bench alone. “What?”

“Sorry I’m Scott.. I see coach put you on the bench.”

“Styles what?” Questioned Scott gaining an eye roll and a dramatic sigh from the buzz cut boy. “My name is Stiles.”

“Oh! Cool,”
“And yes he did, just because of that jackass. He fucking pushed me you know.”
Scott realised he must’ve been talking about Jackson but tried to change the subject bringing it back on his name. “So like is Stiles your real name or…?”

Stiles tried so hard to stop himself from rolling his eyes, obviously frustrated at the boy. “No,”
“Then what’s your real name?”
“I’m not telling you-”
“Oh come on dude!”
Stiles fought the urge to kill and tried to calm himself down. He really wasn’t having a good day, first the whole moving schools thing, getting lost every period, getting bench in lacrosse and having to fight for his own locker with some blonde chick. “It’s complicated alright? Please just call me Stiles.”

Scott sensed the discomfort in his manner and decided to drop the subject. “Hey do you want to come over to my house? I don’t take no for an answer.”
“No, how’d you like that as an answer?” Scott’s face faltered and he sulked gaining a chuckle from Stiles. “I’m totally messing with you bro. Sure, I’d loved to get away from my psychotic family for a change…. But is it alright if I bring my sister?” Both eyebrows raised Scott glanced at the brunette next to his sister and gleamed. “Yes! Ahem- yes. That’s cool.”

“Right, okay then maybe we’ll think of ways to hook me up with that cute redhead.” Stiles grinned jerking his thumb at Lydia. Scott’s eyes widened, he couldn’t be serious! “What? If you wanna bang my sister, Imma bang yours.”



Do you know what always fucks me up? Thinking about what it would have been like if Sirius and Remus had raised Harry. Like you have these two 21 year olds who have been through so fucking much, and they probably feel much too old and much too young at the same time and they’ve just lost everything but each other and they’re barely holding it together and suddenly… there’s this tiny pink cheeked baby babbling away, completely vulnerable and oblivious, occasionally calling out for his mum and dad, and Jesus Christ they don’t know how to look after a baby. They’ve never lived as an adult in a world that isn’t consumed by war and Remus has probably forced himself to never even consider having his own kid because of his condition and Sirius was way too busy fighting and rebelling and just being Sirius Black™ to even think about settling down with a kid, but if there’s one thing they know, its that they’re not letting anyone else to raise Harry because he’s got Lily’s eyes and when he laughs they’re convinced he’s already got James’s shit-eating grin even though he’s like, one, and he’s the only good, pure thing to come out of this terrible fucking situation so they decide they’re going to raise him, to hell with everything else. And the first little while is… really fucking hard. They’re both still recovering, Remus keeps going off on these fits of self hatred and guilt and convincing himself that Harry is better off without a werewolf as a guardian and Sirius keeps locking himself in his room for hours on end staring at the ceiling and holding his fragment of two-way mirror so hard it cuts his hand, but neither of them are doing it alone. When one of them is going through a rough patch the other one is there, feeding Harry and talking to him and making him giggle and changing his nappies and rocking him to sleep at 4 in the morning, and they’re there for each other, too. Neither of them are ever fully recover, but it gets easier. They get better at it, too. At first they’re completely clueless. They’ve babysat a few times and hung out with Harry when they were visiting James and Lily, but actually raising a kid is like… a whole different ball game. The first time Harry wont stop crying for hours on end Remus just sort of stands there holding him at arms length staring at him in horror like what do I do, but eventually he learns that Harry likes it when you rock him from side to side and hum under your breath. Sirius has never changed a nappy in his life before and the first time he tries he makes a huge mess of it and cant stop gagging at the smell and has to take three showers to feel clean again, but eventually he can do a pro job in about a minute, whistling cheerfully the entire time. Eventually they find themselves laughing more often, genuinely smiling because they’re happy and not just because they need to look happy for Harry. Also, they figure out Harry is just about the most brilliant kid in the world, and not just because he’s James and Lily’s. Sirius woops and punches the air the first time Harry takes a step and Remus can’t help but be reminded of him cheering James on from the Quidditch stands. The first time Harry brings home a painting from school Remus is enthralled by it and sticks it up on the fridge and it stays there forever. When he gets older they’re worried about how to discipline him because Sirius’s first instinct on Harry getting detention would probably be a high five and Remus has never been particularly good at reprimanding people, but as it turns out, they barely even need to bc he’s just about the best person in the world (tho maybe they’re a little biased.) Most of the time when he gets in trouble its like, thoroughly understandable, and even whenever it isn’t they kinda let is slide anyway, the boy is a genetic hybrid of James and Lily raised by Sirius and Remus what can you really expect.  But the point is they never planned to be parents and they had their doubts, they mess stuff up and honestly half the time they still don’t know what they’re doing, but they try so fucking hard, and they love Harry so much, and there isn’t a single day that Harry feels uncared for or unloved because if Harry couldn’t have his parents then thats the kind of upbringing he deserved.

There’s been a lot of people that have reached out but I guess the people that mean the most to you, like friends and family and personal people at home supporting you. I guess the biggest support I’ve got is my mum and dad and that’s quite a nice thing to say. It might not be the coolest thing to say but it’s the truth.
—  Zayn 

make me choose; anonymous asked: holland roden or crystal reed?
Don’t ever let anybody tell you you can’t. My mum and dad never wanted me to be an actress. They didn’t want me to be in acting at all. I had to overcome many things, many people telling me no. If you want it, and you believe in it, you have to do it. And I know it’s silly, and I know I’m kind of irrationally optimistic, but you have to be and you can’t really have another plan, because you’re going to fall back on it.

anonymous asked:

"What the hell happened here?" Mycroft asked when he found Sherlock vacuuming up the crumbs in the kitchen. "John's parents are coming for a visit, he spent the weekend cleaning the flat top to bottom so they wouldn't think we lived like slobs all the time," Sherlock explained. "So you're actually making an effort to keep things clean until they arrive?" Mycroft questioned. "John can be very intimidating when he wants to be," Sherlock shuddered. "Apparently," Mycroft replied.

*giggles* hahahaha i bet he can lol ~♥

How much you want to bet that after Andromeda left the family to marry Ted, Walburga and Orion were like “Sirius, you’re going to have an arranged marriage because you’re not pulling this shit on us.” Now bare in mind, Walburga and Orion are first cousins, so they tell Sirius he’s going to marry Bellatrix and that’s when Sirius is like “okay seriously enough of this family. Mum, Dad, I’m gay. I’m in love with my half blood boyfriend. You can’t stop me. Bye.” (Only much more dramatic because he’s Sirius) And that’s why he runs away and gets blown off the tapestry.


Top Horror films you should see - 13/20 - Mum & Dad.

Directed by Steven Sheil (2008) 

A young Polish girl Lena working at the airport befriends ‘Birdy' during her shift and is dragged into the nightmare world of her family with no escape. Her only hope of survival is to become part of the family. 

(credit to original sources for above photos)