Whatever you do, don’t think about the new Muggleborn 1st years wondering why so many of the ghosts are teenagers in modern day clothing and why so many people like to pet the air and they wonder if that’s some kind of magic custom or something and not realizing that they are all petting the thestrals

The First Wizarding War
  • The Marauders were around 10 years old when it officially began in 1970
  • Whole families were being violently obliterated by Voldemort and the Death Eaters
  • Hogwarts had become a training ground for soldiers
  • Imagine first years so excited to go to Hogwarts but growing confused as their parents or teachers quietly and urgently tell them to not let anyone know about their blood status
  • Slytherin students walked through the hallways with the wary stares of other students and staff clinging to the green on their robes
  • Muggleborns having to figure out this strange world by themselves because asking people could be giving away too much
  • The curriculum quickly taking a turn towards offensive moves, hexes and curses and killing waves of the hand
  • Minerva McGonagall having to quickly exit a room after watching an entire line of thirteen year olds expertly perform the Cruciatus Curse far too efficiently
  • James constantly following Lily around, afraid of leaving her alone, gripping her hand tightly in his
  • Lily stops protesting after a nighttime walk through the castle where she realized someone was following her
  • Sirius sticking with Remus, baring his teeth at anyone who even glances at his friend’s scars, panicking at the thought that someone may take him away because he’s a werewolf
  • Remus being found in the bathroom, Muggle makeup smeared over the marks on his skin, shoulders sagging
  • Relationships suddenly ending, Muggleborns watching in a daze as their Pureblood friends hurry away down the hall, biting back tears because its simply too dangerous now
  • Minerva McGonagall quietly bringing a student to her office in the night, then quietly telling them that their parents had been killed
  • Minerva McGongall trying very hard not to cry after they leave, but failing
  • First years slowly losing their smiles and enthusiasm as the years go on, and instead wearing expressions of weariness
  • Molly Prewett breaking down in the middle of the Great Hall after receiving an owl about the death of Fabian and Gideon
  • The students look down at their hands, it was something that had grown too common

117. One year, a muggleborn brought their alarm clock to Hogwarts. It was the kind of alarm that requires you to do a math problem to turn off. Eventually, every ravenclaw had one, and they started charming the clocks to increase the difficulty. Things reached a peak when one student was unable to turn their alarm off, needing their dorm mates’ help. When they couldn’t solve it, the whole house was called in. Then the teachers. Eventually, people started punching in random numbers

The answer was 42.

submitted by anon

Slytherin Girls’ Headcanons

  • Slytherin girls demanding equality from their male counterparts
  • Slytherin girls are really supportive of one another and encourage each other to do the best and follow their dream cause they know it’s a harsh world out there
  • Slytherin girls fighting slut shaming and defending other girls’ sexual lives and sexuality 
  • Slytherin pureblood girls fighting pureblood traditions and the patriarchal system within the pureblood community and making a stand for their rights and independence 
  • Slytherin pureblood girls defending halfblood girls and muggleborn girls
  • Slytherin girls fighting boys who belittle and threaten other girls
  • Slytherin girls protecting the younger Slytherin girls from older boys who aren't nice 
  • Slytherin girls teaching younger Slytherin girls independence and how to stand up for themselves 
  • Slytherin girls refusing to compete with other girls for a man’s attention and instead banding together to take him down
  • Slytherin girls plotting on how to avenge another girl who was hurt by a guy
  • Slytherin girls not taking any shit from any guy
  • Slytherin girls speaking out on inequality and injustices and using their cunning minds on how to fight it
  • Slytherin girls banding together with other girls from other houses to fight and stand up to guys’ bullshit
  • Slytherin girls recognising sexual orientation and gender orientation movements and joining in to support it
  • Slytherin girls encouraging girl friendships and discouraging animosity, catiness and competitiveness  between girls
  • Slytherin girls supporting and helping people with mental illness and taking down all those who make fun and bully people who suffer with such
  • Slytherin girls forming groups to take down those who bully girls for any reason, no matter what house they’re from
  • Slytherin girls using their cunningness, ambition and determination to help those who can’t help themselves due to systems implemented that are their to keep them down
  • Slytherin girls are strong, independent girls who will cut anyone down who threatens them and those they care for
  • Slytherin girls sneaking out at night to get chocolate from the kitchens for their friends and other girls who are on their periods and have cravings
  • Slytherin girls making potions that help with period cramps and pms symptoms 
  • Slytherin girls talking to and helping the younger girls to learn abut their bodily functions
  • Slytherin girls encouraging body positivity and to love themselves and literally attacking anyone who shit talks other girls based on their appearance
  • Slytherin girls against racism and encouraging cultural appreciation   
  • Slytherin girls being Slytherin girls

Muggleborn with a hulk patronus finds other muggleborns with avengers patronuses and while practicing simply yells “Avengers assemble” and everyone casts their patronus and have epic music in the background and yes.


The March issue of Witch Weekly is out!

Read this month’s issue for these fabulous articles here on tumblr or on our fully enchanted site:

Molly doles out advice on staying friends and moving out.

Quidditch versus Quadpot: Which sport takes the trophy?

March is Women’s history Month and we teach you how to take muggle transportation.

We sit down with the illustrious Ginny Potter to talk about magical versus muggle feminism, her recovery after the war and her new initiative to help war survivors heal from emotional scars.

Our Muggle of the Month is an American Sports Star at only 13: Mo'ne Davis!

The next chapter of Invitation to Mystery is up and ready to read.

And, she was more than simple ministry employee, she was a friend, a daughter and a lover too. In Her Honour: Bertha Jorkins

And for those reading on tumblr: the link for our Witch Weekly Sweepstakes!

If you missed our previous issues, read them at the links below:

February: Tumblr - Joomag 
January: Tumblr - Joomag 
December: Tumblr - Joomag 
October/November: Tumblr - Joomag