muggle artifacts

Department of Children and Families

Originally posted by ilskan

Between Harry being locked in a cupboard, Tom Riddle in an Orphanage, and Merope Gaunt being raised in squalor and being prepped for a life of incest, HOW THE FUCK DOES THE MINISTRY NOT HAVE A DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILIES?!?!? I mean, if they can have every magical child’s name on a list, shouldn’t someone be checking up on them? Come on Minister Granger. If I heard you’d started a house elf protection agency and not a child wizard protection agency, I’m going to be so disappointed in you. For fucks sake. You have a misuse of Muggle artifacts office but you don’t have child welfare.


Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets - Chapter Five: The Whomping Willow

“You were seen,” he hissed, showing them the headline: FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIES MUGGLES. He began to read aloud: “Two Muggles in London, convinced they saw an old car flying over the Post Office tower … at noon in Norfolk, Mrs. Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing … Mr. Angus Fleet, of Peebles, reported to police … Six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office?” he said, looking up at Ron and smiling still more nastily. “Dear, dear … his own son …”

Nightmares - Draco Malfoy

Request: First of all, you’re writing is great! Second of all, may I request a scenario/imagine where Draco Malfoy’s girlfriend gets terrible nightmares and he has to calm her down? xx  ((Anon))

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: Nightmares. Being panicked. Torture (bit descriptive).

A/n: Thank you for liking my writing!

Originally posted by daz-zling-bling


Bellatrix stands over you, a dagger in her hand, a wicked smile on her lips as she cackles. Draco stands behind his mother, eyes cold, face blank as he stares at you as if you mean nothing to him. You cry out for him and try to reach your hands towards him but they’re tied down.

“Draco, come, finish her off.” Bellatrix gives the dagger to Draco and he steps in front of you.

“Please don’t do this,” You look up at him, crying and afraid, “Please, Draco, don’t do this.”

He presses the cold blade to your throat and you take a deep breath.

“Please, I love you, please don’t-!”

Draco!” You sit upright in your bed, on hand reached out and the other one on your neck. Draco was sitting across from you, his hand on your shoulder and a worried look on his face.

“I’m here, I’m right here.” You look wildly around you at the room you shared with Draco. It was barely dawn.

“Bellatrix- she was- and then you- and I- you killed me.” He frowns and pulls you into a hug.

“It was just a nightmare.” You shake in his arms, afraid and hopeless feeling.

It wasn’t the dying part that hurt you the most, it was that you knew Draco loved you, and that killing you was just going to turn him even more into a dark and twisted person that he never wanted to be. His eyes were so cold, colder than the blade he had pressed to your neck, colder and more wicked than the laugh of Bellatrix Lestrange.

“I love you.” Your hands had balled his pajama shirt in your fist as you held him.

“I love you so much.” You had no idea you were speaking until Draco was answering you.

“I love you too, of course I do.” He pulls out of the hug and wipes away your tears.

“Come on, it’s morning, and it’s a Saturday. We’ll make pancakes.” He stands up and offers you his hand. You take it and soon your walking behind him to the kitchen of your apartment in Diagon Alley.

You make hot cocoa, it was winter after all, as he starts to mix water in with the dry pancake batter from the box. Every time you have a nightmare you always find yourself thinking about him and you, your differences as well as you similarities. He was raised a wizard, he never knew anything different, but you were raised by muggles, and magic had always been a fairytale. You met in Diagon Alley when you were eleven, Draco was with his father, and when Lucius called you a mudblood you had no idea what it meant but your parents kept you far from him from that point on.

In fourth year you and Pansy Parkinson got in a fight. You both got sententious for a week. She looked worse than you did, you broke her nose, bruised her cheek, and ripped about half her head of hair out. It was a fist fight, not a duel with wands, because you had said to her that cowards only hid behind wands. You only had a bruise and cut on your cheek. A cut you still had the scar from. Draco never got in fights, he was the poster child of family image.

In year six you weren’t in school. Bellatrix had captured you and had been trying to get information out of you via torture for months until you saw Draco again. He saved your life, and at the same time he admitted to having a crush on you. Which was shocking, to say the least.
Now, you were both adults, Draco was making pancakes on a Saturday and you were drinking hot cocoa. He no longer held the fortune of his family, only a shortened version of it that a distant cousin of his left behind for anyone who left the family, but none of that mattered to either of you. You worked in the Ministry, Muggle-Artifacts section, and Draco worked as an Auror. You worked with Mr. Weasley, who would carry a message from Mrs. Weasley that would insist you coming over for dinner at least once a week.

“Mrs. Weasley wants us to come over tonight for dinner.” Draco says, which doesn’t surprise you. But you figured that tonight you could actually go, no point in refusing twice in a row.
“We should go, it’ll do us some good to change our schedules.”

It was true, for two young adults you were pretty boring. Draco would wake up with you, you’d drink coffee and tea at the breakfast bar, he’d leave a half an hour before you, and you’d get dressed before heading for the Ministry. You come home, exhausted, ready for a shower. You’d flick on the radio, listen to the news and some quidditch updates, order dinner, and take a nap on the couch. Draco would come home with the food, having picked it up on his way home, he’d wake you, you’d eat together, discuss your days, and then you’d go to bed. It was dull, and boring, and you really both needed to get out much more. So a dinner at the Weasley’s sounded pretty great.

“Sounds great, but what should we do until then?” Draco sets a plate with a pancake on it in front of you and you start to eat.

“Do a little shopping? I’ve been meaning to get a few potion ingredients, we need groceries, and I’ve been wanting to stop by Florish and Blotts, the Prophet says they’ve got a few new books in, and maybe we could go out into London and visit this new shop that just opened.” Draco listens quietly across from you, chewing on his pancake and nodding.

“Sounds like a plan.”


Top 10 longest fics posted on AO3 this month

1. The Man Who Lived by sebastianL (felix_atticus) [E, 253.8k]

Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another.
A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee. Set in New York twelve years after the war.

2. What We Pretend We Can’t See by @gyzym [M, 131k]

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought. 

3. One Touch by @fleetofshippyships [M, 129.1k]

[…] Harry commits an act of great violence, but doesn’t remember why. Malfoy urges him to run, and takes the blame instead. The most obvious explanation makes no sense, and it only gets more complicated from there. What follows is their struggle to trust and open up to one another while dealing with dangerous and invasive magic; when stepping wrong and losing control, even if only for a few moments, could have severe consequences for them both.

4. Pieces of What by Jadwiga [M, 124.8k]

Draco’s good at playing the part that’s expected of him. Death Eater. Malfoy Heir. Bully. It’s all the same. He’s good at pretending; knows exactly what to say. But when his mask begins to slip, it’s green eyes that notice. 

5. The Dragon’s Courtship by Madriddler [E, 107.7k]

Draco Malfoy wakes up on his seventeenth birthday to intense pain. Finding out that he has a Creature inheritance of an old and powerful species of Dragon, Draco must use his new powers to protect his mate Harry from dangerous enemies. But first, he must prove to Harry that he can be a Dragon worthy to call Harry Potter his. Meanwhile, Ron and Neville deal with the troubles that come with being Blaise’s mates. Is Hogwarts ready for the two creatures? Or will the students of Hogwarts betray the boys to darker forces? 

6. The Rising of the Stones by Lomonaaeren [M, 105.5k]

Draco Malfoy has become the Ministry’s best Auror. He executes all kinds of unusual assignments, including one to go after the unexpectedly fugitive Harry Potter. But as he chases Potter down, Draco learns a lot more about what the Ministry has been hiding from the wizarding world than he ever wanted to know—secrets that may impact more than just his ability to arrest Potter. Updated every Monday. 

7. Prophecies and Potions by Angylsmuse & Rina9294 [E, 95.7k]

It’s another Draco becomes a spy for the Order story with a slight twist and lots of hot sex. 

8. Breathe Again by kcstories [E, 64.2k]

After the war, a very different Draco returns to Hogwarts. Harry is determined to be his friend. 

9. Our Kid by Lilytat [T, 60.9k]

Harry wasn’t ready. He just wasn’t. Only three years after the war, he had just gotten an acceptable apartment with Ginny and they had just settled into their new lives. […]
Draco Malfoy wasn’t ready, either. He’d spent the last two years competing with Potter. Being put on trial as a suspected Death Eater hadn’t helped him much either, seeing as he hadn’t been able to go back and finish his last year at Hogwarts, unlike Potter. […] Potter, who was already better than him. And now, Potter was the bloody fool Draco had to raise a kid with. Well, if Draco was going to do something better than Potter, it might as well be parenting.

10. “Apparently I’m moving to Islington.” by wordsphoenix [?, 46k]

Harry and Draco have to work together to stop some criminal. And then Harry realizes Draco could really be of help on a different case. And Draco runs into Harry and figures he might as well ask about the problem that’s got Experimental Charms and Misuse of Muggle Artifacts completely confused. And then Draco decides maybe they should be friends so he asks Harry to dinner for this purpose. Except, two or three or ten dinners later… 

1023. Filch used to be a wizard, pure blood, but came into contact with a dark artifact that stole his magic. He was disowned by his family, and never found a way to get it back. He had no money, no knowledge to help get him by in the Muggle world, and no way to make a living in the magical one. Dumbledore heard about Filch's situation and offered him a job and a place to live at Hogwarts.

submitted by writerandstudent

gracelesschoice  asked:

What if Voldemort didn't offer Frank or Alice Longbottom a chance to sacrifice themselves for their child, his offering to spare Lily was only a whim based on a prior request to do so. What if he killed Alice and Frank without hesitation, and was able to kill defenseless little Neville. Then just to be safe, he tracked the Potter's down too. What if Snape didn't find out in time, and Lily was murdered without thought, and Harry shortly after.

What if Voldemort went after Harry and Neville, and gave no one a chance to die for them? What if both Chosen Ones died as children?

Gosh, we didn’t want to pull our punches today, did we. Okay, well, I guess here we go–

Because Voldemort wasn’t gone, because there was not a sudden flood of peace–they didn’t send enough Aurors to take down Sirius Black.

Instead of standing laughing in the street when they came to arrest him, Sirius ran. He Apparated away and went to find Remus, because they still had work to do.

That first meeting, after Remus got the news of Peter’s “death,” of everyone’s, was a difficult one. It was outside the wreck and ruin of the little cottage in Godric’s Hollow and that only made it worse. It had been the only place Sirius had been sure Remus would go that night.

“What a Halloween, eh, Moony?” he said from the bushes and Remus almost cursed him right there, until Sirius managed to shout and dodge and wave his hands enough to explain that they’d switched the Secret Keeper. Sirius started laughing when he saw Remus start to believe him, and it wasn’t the mad laughter of a man who had lost everything, because Sirius hadn’t, not quite.

When Remus buried his head into Sirius’s shoulder, outside the slightly smoking shell of Lily and James’s home, they both cried like the children they were.

In a different world, they would have had this reunion in the scarred confines of the Shrieking Shack, thirteen years too late. In a different world, Sirius would have been gaunt, grimy, gasping with demented fury. Remus would have been washed out, threadbare. They would both have looked far too old for their ages, but there would have been a boy with messy hair and his mother’s green eyes staring accusingly out at them. In a different world, Harry would have hated Sirius until he understood, and then he would have loved his godfather for the rest of his life.

If you asked them, the boys crying on Lily and James’s doorstep, or the skeleton of a wanted man and the wan ghost with the beast living under his skin– if you asked them which world they preferred, they’d have an easy answer for you.

But what did happen, in this story where they buried the Chosen Ones too early and there was no love to bring them back? They kept fighting. The war did not end. Voldemort had seven Horcruxes and he thought he was immortal. For now, he was.

In this world, there was no prophesied boy. Love was not magic; it was only soft touches and quiet words, promises they could not promise to keep. An extra piece of chocolate tucked into a packed lunch. A mother’s favorite earrings passed down and down, hand to hand. Love was not magic. It did not resurrect.

Halloween Night 1981 was one more night in a long fight, to almost everyone. This was not the first time whole families had been lost. This was not the last time they would bury children.

But that night, Augusta Longbottom withered. Peter Pettigrew shivered, somewhere, welcomed into plush halls with open arms. Petunia Dursley found only the milk on her doorstep in the morning.

When Remus took Sirius back to one of his safe houses, Remus drank the same way he had in that other reality–in mourning and not any kind of celebration. But this time, he did not drink alone.

Only Dumbledore curled in on himself over lost opportunity, knowing exactly how much hope they’d lost in those two houses, now empty, now cold. He knew about the prophecies, Sybil Trelawney’s hoarse forgotten promises. He knew how powerful Tom had become and he knew how much weight they had been hoping to put on the shoulders of those two lost boys. He knew Harry had had his mother’s eyes.

(Albus did not know, however, about Neville’s first word or that Harry had refused new, magical toys to instead chew and slobber on Lily’s favorite, soft old doll, which she had carried from a Muggle world to a magical one.

Dumbledore thought about the war that night. It would save lives, this old man and his tired soul, that this was how he mourned. But there were more opportunities lost here than a war one day won; there was a grief here that had nothing to do with strategy.)

“We are lost, Minerva,” Dumbledore said.

Professor McGonagall was trembling, thin and severe with it. “You don’t think that,” she said and she was right. But it was a night to believe thoughts like that. In the morning, there would be new plans, new hopes, but not on this Halloween. Dumbledore took out a lemon drop and sucked on it. Minerva found the fire whiskey. The sun rose, eventually. They called a meeting of the Order the next day.

There was no prophesied boy, but there was still this–dozens of shadowed young faces looking up at Albus and not running, even at the very end of the world. Dumbledore looked out at his chess pieces, pawns and queens; his children and his friends; his collateral damage. He had the beginnings of a plan swelling in his chest.

It would take them decades to get their hands, quietly, on every Horcrux. Tom Riddle had to think they were secret. He had to think he was safe. It would take them almost decades, but one day he would be mortal again.

These dozens of faces–they were mortal now. Alastor Moody could feel mortality in the aches of old broken bones; Andromeda rewrote her own last name, refused to fear sea serpents, and refused to pretend that the serpents could not swallow any one of them whole. Remus and Sirius felt empty, gaping holes in the seats around them, and they made crude, expansive, joyous toasts to friends’ memories.

When Molly first reached over and held Arthur’s hand, they knew this was something that could not last. That was why they held hands, held on, held tight.

Keep reading

“Where were you on Thursday night then?”

Malfoy rolled his eyes. “You are like a bloody crup with a bone. Is this even an official questioning? I was with Juniper. You can ask her, if you seriously think I’m a suspect.”

Harry frowned. “Juniper from—”

“From Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, yes, that Juniper,” Malfoy drawled, his arms still folded, and his fingers drumming on his upper arms.

“Where were you two?” Harry asked. He wasn’t sure he did suspect Malfoy, not really, but he felt he had to continue now.

“Here, having a shag down in section E-8,” Malfoy said, his lips twisting into a smirk. “There will still be a magical trace if you want it confirmed. She prefers spells to potions.”

Harry felt his face heat up. “Here? Doesn’t records stay open all night?”

“The threat of discovery is half the fun.” Malfoy was definitely having fun with Harry’s embarrassment. His posture had relaxed, and his face was open.

“You’re mad,” Harry said, shaking his head, and wondering how he was going to face Juniper the next time he had to work with MoMA.

Malfoy snorted, making a wild hand gesture. “If you haven’t had a shag somewhere you might get caught, you haven’t lived,” he said.

“I’ll take your word on it then,” Harry muttered, wishing he’d never questioned him at all.

“Why stop there?” Malfoy asked, stepping closer, still smirking. “No one’s around, fancy a go?”

Harry, who had been in the process of picking up the file he’d requisitioned, fumbled it, and felt his face heat up even more.

“What about Juniper?” he asked stupidly, as if that was the only thing strange about the offer.

Malfoy’s smirk turned into a grin, as if Harry had confirmed something for him. He stepped even closer, and Harry swallowed nervously. He’d expected a little physical proximity from questioning him, but not this kind.

“It’s just casual, with her, just when we’re both working late. She won’t care, she’s also shagging some bloke in the Transport office.”

Harry felt his mouth go dry, and rather thought it was a good time to point out that fact he didn’t go for blokes, only…only Malfoy’s breath was warm on his lips, and then they were kissing, and it wasn’t nearly as repulsive as Harry might have expected.


“So…Malfoy and I shagged in the filing room yesterday,” Harry said.

Ron, put his drink down and looked him over. “You did not.”

“Okay, it wasn’t shagging-shagging, just wanking each other,” Harry said, feeling awkward. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

After blinking rapidly a few times, Ron whistled, and picked his drink back up. “Good for you, mate. Didn’t think you had it in you, doing someone at work.”

Harry flushed. “I didn’t think I had it in me to do something with a bloke, but well, Malfoy, I guess.”

“Makes sense, actually, he’s always the exception to everything with you,” Ron commented with a shrug, before seeming to freeze and look confused. “Wait, didn’t you suspect him of being the information leak?”

“Yeah, a bit,” Harry answered. Although, he still wasn’t entirely sure if his suspicions were genuine, or because of their history. Shagging only made things more complicated. It was so unprofessional, he wanted to suspend himself. He was half tempted to check for that magical trace in section E-8 to confirm Malfoy’s alibi. As if that would make things better.

“Oh, new interrogation technique you lot use over in non-violent? And people say we Aurors have all the fun,” Ron said with a cheeky grin.

“Shove off,” Harry muttered, which only made Ron start laughing.

This was going to be for a new story when I have time, but I’m now stealing the plot for a sequel for something else, so this scene will change too much, and thus, it can be posted as a random unattached snippet =)

if you really want to understand wizard sentiment towards muggles, you don’t want to look at Voldemort and his death eaters, or wizards that are so openly elitist. You want to look at the every day ways wizards and witches live their lives. No one outwardly hates muggleborns (aside from aforementioned blood elitest) and yet…

-muggle studies is considered a soft option/joke class

-working in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department at the M.O.M. is considered a joke/not at all important

-anything primarily to do with muggles is usually seen as protection for their own good 

-witches and wizards who marry muggles are expected NOT to tell them about their magic (as seen with minerva mcgonagalls family) granted, most do but still.

-there seems to be no good way to inform young children they are witches and wizards besides showing up to their house before they turn 11 and informing them, then whisking them away from their lives rather than, say, slowly introducing the wizarding world to these parents and their children (re: hermiones bewildered parents)

-ministry take over itself is an interesting take on passivity of people. Fear definitely played a part, but a lot of people ask how terrible things can happen when so many people are against it, and, well, passivity has a lot to do with it.

-the way people talk about muggleborns. Having to defend them as “she’s muggleborn, but she’s more brilliant than all the purebloods I know!”

Zodiac Signs and Hogwarts, by Mods Olga and Tory

((Note by Tory: The intent for this analysis was to examine how our  astrological signs’ traits are manifested in characters sorted into our houses – alas, our mods Jinxy and Abigail, noble representatives of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, have considerably less representation to work with, and so were not able to contribute this time around. Don’t worry, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw – we love you too!!))

Gryffindor - Aquarius [by Olga]

Originally posted by hogwartsfansite

- Arthur Weasley (February 6th 1950)

Like many who share this sign Arthur Weasley is an original and inventive person. He’ s fascinated with the world of muggles and is keen to get to know their innovations and inventions. His creative and observant nature allow him to come up with his own ideas to use muggle tools in the wizarding world.

Arthur and Molly Weasley, who are both friendly and optimistic people, sure do know how to keep up a good mood and how to care for their many children. Arthur himself is a caring and sociable man. The way he immediately includes and accepts Harry into his family and how he supports his children is also very typical of an Aquarius. They’re often liberal parents and like to be their children’s friends more than authorities who tell them what to do and what not.

Just like themselves they want others to be independent and objective when it comes to debates and views. They are willing to accept someone’s opinion as long as it’s based on facts. Nevertheless they sure have morals that they follow. Arthur Weasley, for example, who is working in the Ministry of Magic in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, is performing a rather humanitarian work. He is rather concerned about doing what he thinks is right and important than something that pays well. Working overtime and really loving his job, Arthur really is a great example of an enthusiastic Aquarius.

Originally posted by hogwartsfansite

- Lily Potter nee Evans (January 30th 1960)

She is another great example of an Aquarius in Gryffindor. Lily has always been described as a clever and quick-witted student and person in general. Her ambitious and interested mind is a typical trait of an Aquarius. Doing well at school is usually based on their actual interest in the subjects and being involved in what is being taught rather than just studying to be good at something just for the sake of it.

Another aspect is Lily’s non-judgemental personality. She accepts everyone the way he is and sees good in everyone. People are people to her. No matter what they do and who they are. Being accepting  and charismatic she’s always had quite a big circle of friends and cared about those who needed help even if they didn’t admit it.

Her love for James Potter and his close friends also shows that she was able to befriend those who she might not have considered liking in the first place. Especially James really had to win her over before she fell for him. Again the Aquarius’ objective side of hers was showing. She managed to accept and love a boy so arrogant and so straight-forward despite his flaws.

He was the person she married and she had a son with for whom she died. The highest of the sacrifices one can make for another human being. Lily died to make someone else live and her selfless and brave nature (and of course her motherly love) allowed her to do so.

Slytherin - Capricorn [by Tory]

Originally posted by the-goblet-of-slytherin

- Tom Marvolo Riddle “Lord Voldemort” (December 31st, 1926)

Well, now, I’ve really stepped in it, haven’t I? Yep – I share both my house and my astrological sign with the worst villain in the Harry Potter universe. Old Moldyshorts is prooooobably not the best example of how to show off the values of your house that one can find in your horoscope, but even I must admit, of all the signs, Tom does definitely fit Capricorn’s traits the best.

The most “Slytherin” trait that Capricorns express is ambition. It is the one word that you notice right away in both category’s descriptions, and it’s something Tom has in spades. He doesn’t just want to be a talented wizard – he wants to be the best, the most powerful, and he won’t stop until he gets it. This also touches on another Slytherin-like trait of Capricorn’s, determination.

Capricorns can also be known for being conservative, which in the hands of a Slytherin can hint to a love of history. Tom in particular embraces this aspect of Slytherin in the pieces he chooses to turn into Horcruxes. Rather than choosing one lone rock on an abandoned beach or a grain of sand in the desert, Tom chooses objects of historical significance and personal significance to him – Hufflepuff’s cup, Ravenclaw’s diadem, Slytherin’s locket and ring, his diary, Nagini…all of these things mean something to him personally, and reflect his past.

Finally, both Slytherins and Capricorns are known for their leadership skills, and once again, Tom shows off the exact wrong way to use them. He is so talented at schmoozing and charming that he is able to bring together a band of deplorables and use them to terrorize and subjugate the Wizarding World. Truly, if you need more evidence of how dangerous of a combination this can be in the wrong person, you need look no further than He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

Originally posted by movies-quotes

- Severus Snape (January 9th, 1960)

The grayest and most controversial Harry Potter character of them all, without a doubt, is the Hogwarts Potions Professor and Head of Slytherin house, Severus Snape. Whether you love him or hate him, however, I think few can deny that he shows off both the good and the bad of Slytherin house, and therefore of the sign he was born under. Since we have already touched on the worst of Slytherin Capricorns through talking about Tommy, though, let’s see if we can delve into the best aspects of a Slytherin Capricorn through wittle Sev.

To start, Capricorns tend to have a very thick outer shell that hides a lot of their innermost feelings, to the extent that many see them as detached and unemotional. Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s pretty much Snape to a tee, and very much Slytherin as well. Slytherins in general tend to put forward a very confident face that hides a lot of their insecurities. As much as Slytherins care about the impression they make, however, they frankly don’t care who dislikes it – and neither does Snape.

One Capricorn trait that is sometimes put at odds with Slytherin sensibilities is the sign’s fixed down-to-earthness. Slytherins are usually the sorts to adapt and contort to whatever situation they find themselves in, but Capricorns are resilient and never budge from what they are committed to. Snape shows off this apparent paradox perfectly in his commitment to Lily, Dumbledore, and the Order. Snape is flexible enough to work as an effective spy, but his inner code of morality never shifts. Once he decides he’s with you, he’s with you for the long haul and will use his inherent flexibility to fight for you.

Last but not least, let’s touch on Capricorn’s relationship with risk. Capricorns, like Slytherins, are not reckless sorts, but they are still willing to flirt with risk once they have thought it through and rehearsed all possible outcomes. They may be calculating, but they are brave – and is that not what set Snape apart from Karkaroff, upon Voldemort’s return? Snape saw the danger ahead, weighed all possible outcomes, and decided to fight with the Order anyway. This shows how Slytherin house, despite valuing self-preservation, can still choose fight over flight…as long as it is done consciously and thoughtfully.

Imagine you (as a Pureblood) visiting Remus during summer holiday, amusing him with your excitement over his mother’s muggle things.

You sat down on one of the wooden bar stools at the kitchen island, smiling at Remus while he made you a ham sandwich. 

“Your mother has the most amazing collection,” You gush, watching him search through the refrigerator for some sort of cheese. “Just look at all of the little gadgets that you have! The light bulbs and the cars and the /airplanes/! Remus this is absolutely marvelous!” You continue to babble on about the various muggle artifacts that you had learned about so far in your brief visit, all the while staring at the little shiny box on the counter called a ‘toasty’. 

After about a minute of just letting you ramble on excitedly Remus pushes your sandwich toward you, interrupting your train of thought. 

“You do know that these are just normal appliances, right?” He smiled, watching you pick up your sandwich and take a monstrous bite.

“Well, it might be normal to you, Remus, but this is all fantastical to me. You’re just being cynical. Even if you are used to this kind of magic, you have to admit that a telly-vision is still pretty freaking cool.” After a few moments of comfortable silence from your best friend you look up and notice his big, dopey, amused smile.

“Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” You manage to say through a mouthful of bread. 


This domain name has been temporarily seized by the Ministry of Magic in accordance with the Muggle Protection Act of ‘92. We apologize for any inconvenience. It is being used as evidence in a trail revolving around the unlawful magical modification of a computer used to “hack” websites through the use of charms rather than actual technical prowess.

A counter-hack that came about from a Hogwarts student has also been reviewed, but appears to have been done using actual computer skills rather than through magical means, meaning it is out of our jurisdiction and no charges will be filed.

We will be returning the page to the rightful owners shortly, once all evidence has been collected and compiled.

~ Signorina Adalina Oriana Casato
Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office

(Sorry for the formality honey. Official Ministry business.)

Of course, my lovely anon! Thank you so much for your request! I do already have Hogwarts AU headcanons for Spanner over at my old blog but I will definitely try to come up with some new and interesting ones for you! I hope you’ll enjoy!


  • Gokudera, despite being raised as the apparent pure-blood son of a prestigious pure-blood family, knows the truth - he’s half-Muggle, the result of an affair his father had with a Muggle woman. As an act of rebellion and because he was barely allowed to know his Muggle mother, he develops an intense fascination with all things Muggle related and collects Muggle artifacts. His dorm-mates will often complain about the assortment of Muggle junk he crowds his part of the dorm room with, in fact. He pays no attention to them though - he’s always interested in learning more about Muggle society and inventions and hopes to someday be able to combine the best of Muggle inventions with magic to produce something wonderful and new.
  • Gokudera always keeps the hangings of his four-poster bed closed. It doesn’t matter if he’s in the room or not, they have to be closed. If he is in the room, he’s on his bed with the hangings closed. He gets very upset at his dorm-mates if they open the hangings as well. It’s his space and he gets very touchy about his private space.
  • Gokudera is naturally very gifted and will excel at his studies, being within the top three students of his year. However, his attitude problems and habit of blindly using magic to solve his problems (often to horrifying results for the student on the opposite end of his hexes and curses) causes him to earn more than the normal amount of detention. He has his own drawer for detention slips by the end of his seven years at Hogwarts.


  • Irie has a huge love of wizarding music but also has a bit of a secret obsession with Muggle music as well. He’ll experiment with starting a wizarding band during his school years, as well as singing in the choir.
  • Irie rarely goes into Hogsmeade. He will if his friends want him to or invite him along but other than that, he only goes into town if he absolutely needs something. He likes how quiet and peaceful the school seems and how much easier it is to really explore the castle without the majority of the students. He’s always been a little bit fascinated by the castle and the multitude of secrets it contains and will delight in discovering new secrets about it. He’ll actually get detention once or twice for unwittingly crossing into out of bound areas without noticing it.
  • Irie is the only student in his year to be able to Apparate on his first try. He ends up giving practice tips and lessons to other kids, no matter their houses. Though he was a bit house-exclusive when he first came to Hogwarts, after befriending Spanner in Ravenclaw, Irie started becoming a bit more accepting of other houses.


  • Spanner’s favourite shop in Hogsmeade is definitely Honeydukes. He was so excited in third year when he finally got to go to the village and stock up on his sweets in person instead of ordering them through owl. He can easily spend hours there and wastes most of his Hogsmeade trips there stocking up on huge amounts of candy and offering suggestions for new candies or new tips on how to make existing candies better. The owner and him talk like old friends by the end of his tenure at Hogwarts and remain in contact with each other even as the years go by.
  • Spanner will carry a fascination with flying. The mechanics behind flying and the brooms fascinates him almost as much as the sport itself. Though he will not join the Quidditch team himself, he often watches the practices and often comes up with strategies and tips to help his house team (or teams from other houses - he’s pretty equal opportunity).
  • Spanner subscribes to The Quibbler and The Daily Prophet both. They both amuse him and he figures between the two of them, he’s probably getting the full story.
Battle Cry | 1977 | OPEN

Nick had signed up to watch the protest because he wanted to be there with everyone else, he wanted to be reminded that not everyone wanted the war to escalate, not everyone was for the segregation of the magical community, and with all the cases that he’d been working lately, it was getting harder to remember this. Other Aurors who’d been assigned were grumbling about it, not viewing it the way that the younger man did. They just saw it as a disturbance, a misuse of their time and resources. Nick could see where they might be more useful elsewhere, but this was important he believed. 

Lately he’d been working with the misuse of muggle artifact department because of all the crazy and dangerous things that people had been using muggle things for- all in the name of bringing more harm to muggles. So he was excited about the protest. 

He was standing off to the side, where he was stationed, watching the group of mostly young people marching around the fountain. Of course, they weren’t all young people, there were older members who he recognized from the Order, and then some others that he didn’t recognize, and they all marched together. And as the time went on, more and more people showed up. It was a little afternoon when he felt someone bump into his back and he turned his attention away from the crowd to see who it was. 

Chelsea Arya,

I am disappointed and disgusted that you would bring muggle artifacts into our home, into my home. Your disregard for our important values has left me stunned. I have already contacted your mother to inform her you’ll be spending your summer with her, as I can no longer stand to look at you. 

Jameson King

P.S. Your box of trinkets has been burned.

Chelsea reread the letter over and over again, the tears streaming down her cheeks as she sat in the corner of the astronomy tower. Her father hated her, and it was all her fault… she kept thinking it, letting the words repeat themselves in her mind. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice the footsteps behind her, only turning at the clearing of a throat.

drarrymania  asked:

Hey do you know any fics where one of the boys sees the other wanking and then sexy times happen (I sound like a such a pervert but yolo right)

One of the rare, totally acceptable uses of yolo, and yes. Yolo. No shame in that h/d smut game, and I can def help you out. Enjoy, and remember to leave some love for the authors!!

Drarry Recs: ft. wanking/voyeurism

The Coefficient of Friction by daftfear - NC-17, 18k - The war is over, the Death Eater trials are complete, life in the wizarding world is finally getting back to normal, and Harry Potter is restless. Unsure of what he really wants and growing increasingly confused in his personal life, Harry decides to take a holiday—alone—to clear his mind and find himself. He books a trip to a wizarding resort, expecting to be the lone guest, only to find out Draco Malfoy will be there as well. Falling back on old habits, Harry determines Malfoy must be up to something. In his search to uncover Malfoy’s secrets, Harry inadvertently does what he had meant to all along—find himself.

Corruptela Vox by Constant Vigilance - NC-17, 5.5k - Draco’s kink is revealed. Pretty much a PWP. (Game: Truth or Dare)

Experiments by firethesound - NC-17, 2k - Draco always bottomed and Harry wondered if maybe there was something he was missing. It’s a shame Draco’s not around to help him figure it out.

How to Handle an Enemy by who_la_hoop - NC-17, 7.5k - Draco Malfoy in the Slytherin Common Room with Veritaserum (Game: Truth or Dare)

The Joys of Nature by birdsofshore - NC-17, 2.5k - Prompt: Getting caught sunbathing nude; More or less exactly what you would expect from the prompt, only sillier.

The Lesbian Muffin Debacle by abusing_sarcasm - R, 7k - Pansy and Ginny have a muffin-induced potions accident and Draco and Harry are stuck watching their love life from the sidelines - quite literally. Fortunately, they’re able to give each other a hand.

Misuse of Muggle Artifacts by scrtkpr - NC-17, 17k - Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy don’t know each other as well as they think they do.  When a disastrous attempt at courtship results in the shattering of their fragile trust, they still find themselves working together in a rush to protect their secrets, their friends, and their hearts.

putting on a show by flower-carnage - NC-17, .5k - One of the boys catches the other one wanking and decides to help after watching for a while. [second on the page]

Second Time’s the Charm by Sophie_French - NC-17, 2.5k - Back in sixth year, Harry had spied on Draco on their way to Hogwarts, hidden under his Invisibility Cloak. Back in sixth year, Harry had ended up with a broken nose. Now two years down the road, in a similar situation, he might very well end up with something else altogether.

See Me by Kedavranox - NC-17, 2k - I look up, and there he is. Potter, gloriously naked, stroking his cock like he’s the only man on the planet. The cigarette falls from my lips as I freeze, mouth halfway open. My pulse quickens, thumping away in my throat, beating a deafening thud in my head.

A Tricky Little Potion by Mab - NC-17, 2.5k - “Yes, it’s a funny little potion, Felix Felicis. Desperately tricky to make, and disastrous to get wrong.” Horace Slughorn, HBP

MoMAO Isn’t The Most Pleasant Acronym


Had our first chat with the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office today. I remember back when a single person could run that office. These days every witch or wizard feels the need to try to add charms to their phone. I’m sure the Ministry is up to their necks in reports.

Signorina Casato felt like dropping a line to make sure no enchanted technology had popped up on school grounds. I assured her that we were professionals and would report anything as it showed up. I see no reason to bring up the iPod of a different color, or the Kindle that was enchanted for no purpose other than making it smell like a real paperback book, or the the fact that I may have charmed Jonathan’s Keurig into adding the cream and sugar in just the right amounts for me.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any very fluffy fic recommendations? All are welcome but established relationships would be nice. I just finished A Certain Kind of Memory and I just feel very empty and broken. Thank you xx

Oh wow, dear anon! You’re indeed in dire need of some fluff after such a fic! Though it’s a great fic, it does leave a bit of a sore heart. ^^

I have some lovely fics that I’m sure you’re going to enjoy and several are established relationship in some way, at least (as in, sometimes it’s not officially established, but they’ve been seeing each other for a while – I’ve marked them for you). Some of these are Hurt/Comfort, with a lot of emphasis in the comfort, so while they might go a little bit angsty at times, I guarantee will leave you with a smile on your face. I hope you enjoy. And *hugs*

Two Gentlemen by hidingfromsomeone (NC-17, 3,7K) [Established relationship]
Summary: Harry tumbles out of the kitchen Floo a full forty five minutes late. Hangs his robes up on one of the two little pegs next to the fireplace, already starting to beg for forgiveness.
My notes: Lovely established relationship, fic. It’s a day in Harry and Draco’s life, after twenty years of being together. It’s wonderful and sexy and fun.

Baby, It’s Cold Outside by bryoneybrynn & marguerite_26 (NC-17, 3,9K) [Established relationship]
Summary: It’s a cold Christmas Eve, but Harry has a way of melting all Draco’s defences.
My notes: Harry and Draco have a casual relationship, Draco is afraid of truly giving himself to Harry, but this night, this moment, it’s when it happens. It’s wonderful, and OH MY GOD, that rimming thing is incredible.

Cornbread and Sweet Tea by sor_bet (NC-17, 20,6K) [Established relationship]
Summary: Harry and Draco living together in a house in the North Georgia mountains, and how they got there.
My notes: This story is utterly lovely. I admit when I first read it I didn’t know what to expect, and it was a wonderful surprise. It’s non-linear, so we get to see Harry and Draco together, and at the same time we get to see how their history began. It’s sweet and fun and sexy, and if you give it a chance, it’ll surprise you in the best way.

Save My Wonders by sdk (NC-17, 21,2K)
Summary: Immediately chocolate assaulted Draco’s senses. Warm melted chocolate mixed with his mother’s roses and… something else. Something new. Freshly scrubbed skin and maybe a faint sheen of sweat. It was so familiar… And it only intensified when Potter came up behind him.
My notes: This is one of those fics I said it’s hurt/comfort, but it’s been one of my personal comfort reads since I read it. It’s magical. Draco being insecure after gaining some weight, he see him struggling with his image, we see him struggling with accepting Harry’s interest, AND IT’S PERFECT. In fact, I’m going to read it again. Just go for this fic. <3

Here and Now by Morgan_Elektra (NC-17, 27,8K)
Summary: It’s been 5 years since the end of the war, but less than a week since Rita Skeeter outed Harry on the front page of The Prophet — and made some rather scandalous insinuations about him and his blond former nemesis. A chance (or is it?) encounter on a street corner reveals just how much has changed… and what remains the same. An over-sized courgette, some olive oil, a bottle of wine, and Ed Kowalczyk make things extra interesting.
My notes: This is basically 28K of flirting and sex (as a friend of mine said). And yes, as the summary says, there was an article in the Prophet about Harry and Draco, and then Harry runs into Draco, and then invites him for dinner. It’s truly lovely.

Yours, Bunny-Eared, and Candy-Sweet by PaolaAdara (NC-17, 7,2K) [Established relationship]
Summary: The first thing Harry heard upon arriving was shouting in the kitchen.
My notes: This story is mpreg, so if you like mpreg (and also if you don’t and this is your first mpreg…) you’ll love this fic. Harry returns after a dangerous mission to his family. It’s fun and sexy and so, so sweet. Definitely the sort of story to heals a bruised heart. :)

Advanced Charmed by Paraphilia (NC-17, 7,1K) [Established relationship]
Summary: Awkward first time is awkward.
My notes: Harry and Draco have been sneaking around the castle, and tonight is their ~first~ time. Wonderful, just the right side of awkward, and a lot wonderful.

The More The Merrier by cassie_black12 (PG-13, 15K)
Summary: Draco’s determined to make this their best Christmas ever and Harry’s not about to stop him – even if it does mean carol concerts and late-night shopping!
My notes: This story, as the summary tells you, it’s Christmas-themed. And it completely enchanting. It’s got Harry and Draco as roommates, best friends obviously into each other, and also oblivious to that fact. :)

Charmed Wool by winnet (NC-17, 12K)
Summary: Draco works for the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Department (MMAD). Tracking down an illegal knitter of charmed jumpers takes him to County Cork where he never expected to find the missing Chosen One.
My notes: Fantastic and original story, in which Harry, after leaving the wizarding world behind, is found by pure chance by Draco while he’s investigating some very, very soft (magically so!) jumpers. A bit of UST and a lot of fluff.

The Songbirds of Avebury Manor by Tessa Crowley (NC-17, 18,2K)
Summary: Harry Potter presents as alpha at fifteen, and it is supposed to change his life for the better. Instead, it leads him to a beautiful noble omega he cannot have, a political plot he cannot escape, and a threat on his life.
My notes: I’m actually not sure if this fully qualifies as fluff, it’s definitely fluffy, but it’s got a bit of drama and plot. It’s Victoria –AU, A/O/B dynamics and mpreg. Harry, a newly presented Alpha goes to Avebury Manor looking for a job, and there he meets his angel that is Draco, and from the on it’s truly a love story. I had to include it because every time I read it, it just makes me so happy and I hope it makes you happy, too. :)

Longest Night by coffeejunkii (R, 3,3K) [Established relationship]
Summary: Draco discovers that waiting doesn’t equal hoping, and that some wishes do come true.
My notes: This is another of those hurt/comfort fics I mentioned. But oh my god, if you haven’t read it, you’ll fall in love with this one. It was written pre DH, so it’s slightly canon divergent. This is Draco waiting for Harry in a safe house, all alone. Oh my god, it’s utterly gorgeous and perfect. Read it, trust me. :)

Imagine Giving Harry the Family He Deserves

Imagine 11-year-old Harry Potter, living in a cupboard under the stairs. One particularly stormy evening, there is a soft knocking at the door–there you stand, sopping wet and clutching a broomstick with a letter in hand, standing beside a bearded giant of a man.

“… I’m looking for Harry James Potter?”

The Dursleys try to deny his existence, but you see him peeking out from around the corner–you step right inside, shaking out your hair and holding out a hand for him to shake as Hagrid tucks his umbrella into his coat, fiddling with something in a pouch.

“C'mon, luv–I’ve got news for you.”

You flick your wand and procure a steaming pot of tea from seemingly nowhere, and the Durseys nearly have a fit–but you hold up a finger to shush them, and begin to explain.

Hagrid gives him the Hogwarts speech, of course–he’s a wizard, and the Boy Who Lived–that you are here to pick him up, and after seeing the state that his little living-hutch (if you can call it living) is in, he’ll never have to come back here again.

When you find a burn on Harry’s hand from the stove that looked like someone had smacked his hand down on top of it, you are livid.

When you see that Lily Potter’s son is living under a staircase, wearing old shabby clothes and not even celebrating his birthday, you almost hex Petunia for daring to treat a child that way. Her SISTER’S child.

You shut her up with a pointed sneer and turn back to him–you explain that you were a close friend of Lily’s–maybe you didn’t get along with James as well as you would have liked, but you adored Lily Evans–and you were named his Godmother, while Sirius was named Godfather.

You tell him that he’ll be staying with you–that he could have a new extended family, if he so chooses–an uncle with a scruffy blonde beard and eyes that twinkle when he smiles through his moustache, and scars from years of looking after magical creatures. A kooky great-aunt who wistfully recalls her days as a diviner, and insists to read the tarot cards of anyone who comes into her home over a pot of tea and some stale butter cookies. A rambunctious set of savant kid-cousins with shocks of raven-black hair and blue eyes, who spin the keys of their grand piano into glittering, golden music and have become quite adept at hiding frogs in unfortunate places.

You tell him of a little house by the bay on the island of Deenish in Ireland, with it’s little pub, and the antique shop, and an old Fisherman named Spike who swore he snogged a mermaid in his youth–a little sleepy wizarding town where he can stay with you when he isn’t at Hogwarts. He stares at you with eyes the size of saucers when you explain that you took so long to get here because you were in Romania studying dragons.

He barely takes ten minutes to pack all of his things as you tell him to hold on tight, and pack the two of you on your sputtery old broomstick–he marvels at the tiny little crooked cottage, where he has his very own room–it’s settled over your sister’s bar, so it’s a bit cramped, but he gets to decorate his bedroom however he wants, and there’s a large window overlooking the sea on one side.

He gets to grow up going back and forth between Hogwarts and a real home, with friends and family visiting year round–Hermione and Ron are invited to visit in reciprocation of his visits at the Burrow–the Order of the Phoenix occasionally has members sleeping on your couch, and your sister gets along a little too well with Tonks sometimes–Molly Weasley is always welcome in your kitchen, and Arthur will spend hours at a time perusing the muggle artifacts in Missy’s Antiques.

But above all else, Harry Potter has a home, and a family who loves him

(Submitted by bottled-jellyfish)

From an Owl Received Today

Dear Miss E. Vargo

Thank you for contacting us to report the unauthorized enchantment of a standard issue fwooper feathered quill.

After your assurance that “the Muggle script of HTML is a very powerful and potentially dangerous language, and losing such a vital instrument in its creation could cause untold havoc" I understand full well why you’ve asked for a higher ranking MoMAO member such as myself to retrieve it. We too believe that this is the appropriate course of action for such a delicate situation.

I should be able to arrive via broom tomorrow evening to pick up the artifact.

Signorina Adalina Oriana Casato
Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office