Hermione: Do you still have a problem with Muggles

Draco: No that’s ridiculous

Hermione: You wouldn’t smile at my parents all evening

Draco: Oh that I didn’t want them to see my teeth

Hermione: Your teeth are perfect

Draco: And do you think I want your crazy dentist parents going after me with their torture clamps and pliers

Hermione: Draco WHAT do you think dentists do

Draco: …

Hermione: …

Draco: Well played Potter

  • Sirius : *humming*
  • James : What're you singing pads?
  • Sirius : Oh, it's just a song I heard when you took me into muggle London. I got a record of it later.
  • Mcgonagall : *walks by* Nice choice Mr. Black; I too, find myself enjoying The Rolling stones.
  • James : Did she just?
  • Sirius : Oh my god!
  • Muggle Born Ravenclaw: I can accept many different things about the wizarding world but, what I can't grasp is why keeping a ghoul in the attic is a "talking point"
  • Pureblood Slytherin: Uh... well.. I don't actually know. My parents have always had Greg upstairs eating the moths
  • Muggle Born Ravenclaw: Greg the Ghoul? He has a name but he stays in the attic?!
  • Pureblood Slytherin: To be frank, we can't get rid of him. He seems to like it there

Modern Hogwarts headcannon

  1. There’s definitely a secret society of muggleborns that meets in the room of requirement working out how to get WiFi into Hogwarts.
  2. An advanced Muggle studies club that analyses films and TV shows and all the muggleborns take it to keep up to date with Dr Who.
  3. Muggleborn Ravenclaws who deal out Muggle books to purebloods.
  4. A muggleborn Muggle magic enthusiast who is really good at slight of hand and wows a prefect at how they have learnt the “vanishing spell”
  5. Muggleborns treating the potter, Weasley and malfoy families indifferent to any others because they don’t know about anything that happened.
  6. A year where all the history of Hogwarts books have to be replaced with the new ones detailing the events of Voldemort’s downfall.
  7. Minerva McGonagall still teaching.
  8. A generation where half of gryffindor are descendants of the Golden Trio
  9. Albus Severus Potter being sorted into Slytherin and whenever he gets called into the headmasters office talks with the portrait of Snape first as to how his father is doing before Dumbledore
  10. Muggleborns selling iPods crammed with songs and occasionally getting caught but none of the staff know how they work.
  11. A parkour and scateboarding club inevitably stopped by Professor Longbottom when a first year attempts to try it on a broom around the quad and gets caught on a statue.
  12. Stoners sneaking into potions lab and stealing cauldrons trying to mix plants finding assorted ways to get higher often ending in growing extra body parts.
  13. Muggleborn stoners convincing professor Longbottom to grow weed claiming of its magical healing properties
  14. A muggleborn who has been taught modern science and is asking questions about how transfiguration is making matter from now where. If apparition is faster than the speed of light or if it generates a wormhole and all the purebloods completely confused on how they are breaking the universal laws.
  15. At Halloween Teddy Lupin winning the costume competition every year with his constantly changing between professors, celebrities and magical creatures.
  16. Hagrid taking care of magical creatures and asking “are ya ready kids” and all the muggleborns respond “AYE AYE CAPTAIN” and all the purebloods look on in a state of utter confusion as the muggleborns start singing about pineapples rolling around with laughter.

28.09.16 Two hour study session in the library! Making sure I’ve got all the books I need in a list so I can go get them later, but I’ve already picked up Marx’s theory of history. This library gives me chills and also I feel like I’m at hogwarts. I hope it never wears off. I played quidditch today for the first time too! Really fun - I scored a goal and tackled two people to the ground! Bake off tonight and then to the pub! Xxxxx emily