Blue and Black
Warmth. Books. Hot chocolate.
Harmonious melody of a relative silence in the city.
Bright blue. Cosy apartment. Smell of fresh backery.
Filled with lights and stories,
Pets, and friends, and trips, and studies.
Being alone was like being wrapped in an old blanket,
Safe and comfortable.
Relatives. People. Questions about your private life.
Pieces of advice about having children and getting married.
Muddy grey. Their words become stuck in your
Gossips. Cliche. Chit-chats.
Crazy old cat lady - neighbors say.
Noticing for the first time that when you’re alone everything’s
Little tight knot in the chest.
Doubts. Lots of doubts in every idea and move.
Confidence evaporated, leaving you to burn in your
Being lonely. Funny words. Sadness.
Understanding that you can be lonely even when you aren’t alone.
Black. No air. Dispair. Nervous breakdown. Crying and
Bright blue. Muddy grey. Ultimate black. Just a change of colours.
Devolution from being an artist into being a used dirty palette.
Devolution from being alone to being extremely
© illirein 2017