Excuse me, sorry to say something... however, I am displeased that the adjective of 'douche' has been associated with the regal and, yet, proletarian canoe. Perhaps you feel that Justice Thomas requires or justifies a larger vessel than a bag for his douchiness... might I suggest a vehicle more congruent... perhaps wakeboat, or Trump Tower, or mudbogger... though 'canoe' does have such a great poetic and pleasing roll off the tongue in saying it outloud. Sorry, eh.
You are absolutely correct, the canoe has done nothing to deserve this kind of slander.
Doucheyacht? That is reasonably pleasing on the tongue, no?