Some of you may not know that I have a pet turtle. His name is Gucci Mane and he fucking hates me.

He’s a wild Mississippi Mud Turtle that I rescued about 2 years ago when he was found inside a box of live crawfish shipped to the restaurant where I worked.

I saved his ass and spent like $500 on turtle supplies and all he does is eat and hide and bite. He is basically a costly, aggressive pet rock.

Recently I bought him feeder fish to snack on and he fucking befriended them - just to be an asshole. He’s smug and inconsiderate and does nothing all day - and I would totally cry if he died.

Thankfully we have 30-50 years to work on our relationship, and I’m hoping that maybe he chills the fuck out while I’m away and my mom is taking care of him.

anonymous asked:

Can you recommend some beginner pets? In terms of lizards, salamanders, newts, snakes, turtles and frogs. Basically anything, hamsters, rats, birds. Looking to get a pet, but I only have knowledge in fish, dogs and cats. Hoping for things that stay on the smaller size too. Thank you!

Oh boy, this may be a long post!

“Best” is a really bad term to use, actually. Because there is no one “best” reptile or animal to begin with! What it really boils down to is: The space you have you can dedicate to the animal, your budget, whether or not handling is important to you, personal preference in appearance, personal preference about vivarium/enclosure looks, how long you can care for the animal (example: Will you be able to care for your tortoise through high school when you go away for college, and after you have kids? Because it will be around through ALL of that!) and your confidence level. Think about things like what you’ll do if you go on vacation, will you be able to afford vet bills (yes, even for hamsters or frogs!) what you’ll do if you go to college, etc. All of these animals are commitments (For some animals, over 60 years!) and NONE of them are to be taken lightly. You can’t just get rid of an animal when it becomes inconvenient, or if you get bored with it, or if it suddenly becomes a burden. You COMMIT yourself to that animal. You are that animals SLAVE until IT dies of natural causes. Be prepared for that.

What is a great choice for one person may be a horrible choice for another person. Example: Fence lizards are hardy, inexpensive, and small! However, they are not lazy lizards who like to be held. Handling isn’t good for them at all, and they’ll dart away when they can! But everything else about them makes them GREAT for beginners!

Also, these lists are not comprehensive! There are other species of lizards and snakes that may be great for you, however I’ve spent enough time on this already and I can’t possibly be bothered to list every single one. But this should definitely be enough to get you (or anyone reading this) started!

Lizards (I wrote an in depth list here) :

Snakes (also wrote an in depth list here)

Turtles (Turtles by definition NOT good for beginners! Get a smaller easier reptile if you haven’t had any before. DON’T go out and get a Red Eared Slider! But, if you DO decide a turtle is in your budget/space/commitment leve, here are some better species to start out with.)

Tortoises: (Same as turtles, by definition tortoises are NOT good for beginners! Get a smaller easier reptile if you haven’t had any before. DON’T go out and get a Sulcatta! All tortoises need strong UVB, indoor/outdoor enclosures, specialized diets, and a ton of space proportionally! However, if you DO decide tortoises are for you, these are some better species to get.)




Small Mammals (Beginner hamster guide here. Also, I specifically left out rats because they demand MUCH larger cages, much more time, almost always result in vet bills as they age, and are in the long run much more expensive. If you’re going to do small mammals, start out with a mouse, not a rat.)

Birds (I put ALL birds on this list hesitantly… there is nothing “beginner” or “easy” about caring for ANY BIRD. Birds take a lot of commitment, time, effort, money, and space! They are also LOUD and potentially destructive! Will you still want that bird when you have a baby? What if you move? Think of stuff like that! These animals live to be at LEAST 20, for most species it’s WAY beyond that- into their 70’s!)

Alright herp tumblr. question for you.
I’m writing up a resume and in trying to summarize briefly that i’ve worked with a wide range of herps, i realized i didn’t have a decently encompasing word for turtles/terrapins/tortoises.
Is chelonians commonly used, even though its also a specific type? because i know these classifications entirely depend on what country you’re speaking from…. which is kind of frustrating. especially when there are multiple listed on wikis and generally called ‘turtles’, when therye semi-aquatic and would thus be considered terrapins? and of course, a couple of those confusing ones are ones i’ve worked with?

Prince Mud-Turtle. Laura Bancroft (Frank L Baum). Chicago: Reilly & Britton (1906). Illustrated in color by Maginel Wright Enright. First edition. 

Title in the Twinkle Tale Series, this is a wonderful fantasy written by Baum under his Bancroft pseudonym. Twinkle finds a turtle that can speak only on Saturdays because he is a fairy prince who has been transformed by an evil Corrugated Giant.

Eastern Mud Turtle (Kinosternon subrubrum)

Also known as the common mud turtle, the eastern mud turtle is a species of Kinosternid turtle which is native to the United States, where it occurs throughout the eastern and central portions. Like many other turtle species, eastern mud turtles will occupy a range of freshwater habitats like ponds and lakes, where they will feed on a range of invertebrates and small fish


Animalia-Chordata-Reptilia-Testudines-Kinosternidae-Kinosternon-K. subrubrum

Image: LA Dawson


Happy World Turtle Day! We’re shellebrating our fine reptilian friends with some turtle fun-facts.

Did you know:

  • There are approximately 290 species of turtles and tortoises that inhabit oceans, fresh waters, and land environments.
  • Turtles are characterized by two broad bony shells that enclose and protect the body and jaws without teeth that form a beak-like structure.
  • Once they enter the sea after hatching, male Hawksbill sea turtles never leave it, and females come out only to lay their eggs.
  • Did you know the Museum is helping to preserve the iconic Galápagos tortoise Lonesome George?
  • For centuries, ships would load up on Galápagos tortoises to provide fresh meat during sea voyages, one tortoise could provide 200 pounds of meat.
  • The Leatherback is the largest turtle, reaching a length of almost 6 feet, while smaller species, such as the Bog turtle, reach a maximum shell length of 4 inches. 
  • Did you know that two brother African spur-thighed tortoises live in the Museum? Meet Hermes and Mud!
  • Softshell turtles, genus Trionyx, have gill-like filaments in their pharynx that serve as respiratory organs.

Stop by the Hall of Reptiles and Amphibians to learn more.