much grain

Steven Universe Theory: How The Gem’s function

In this theory I am going to attempt to explain how the Gems of Steven Universe could potentially function in real life. This theory is based on a relatively superficial understanding of things like Quantum physics, so a more knowledgeable person in such fields would likely be able to tear this theory a new one. In fact I encourage such critiques, as I find debates like this rather entertaining.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s try to answer how, with my woefully rudimentary understanding of quantum physics, that The Gems could potentially function in real life.  

First we need to answer, what are the Gems? In the internet short called Classroom Gems, Pearl explains that Gems project hard light structures from their gems that comprise of their physical form from their gems. These Gems contain all of what they are, and their body is, as Steven puts it, “just an illusion.”

An illusion with Mass.

Is the concept of Hard Light possible? Actually yes, and in fact we’ve reputedly already made headway in this department. Princeton University has reported that they have begun Crystallizing Light. 

How have they achieved such a thing you ask?

Well what they did was they created a super conductive structure where the billions of atoms inside of it worked in tandem to create what they call an “artificial atom.” Photons that come in contact with this superconductive artificial atom take on the properties of said atoms, and they begin to interact with each other like particles. These photons, now entangled together like particles, began behaving like the states of matter, assuming qualities of liquids and crystallized solids.

In these experiments at Princeton, they reported that they were able to make light slosh about in a contained area like a liquid, and they were able to “freeze” this light into a Solid as well, all thanks to this superconducting “artificial atom” structure.

So we know now that there are potentially circumstances in which light photons can be made to behave like particles, thus creating hard light structures that are entirely malleable and able to shift between liquid and solid states very easily (assuming all this data is viable and laudable of course.) This sounds eerily similar to the Gem’s “physical” bodies. Much like with the results of these experiments, they are able to alter their physical forms at will, and as solids they behave just like regular physical bodies, if not much more durable.

So this begs the question, could a Gem potentially function as a superconductor?

A Superconductor is what is known as a Macroscopic Quantum effect, or something in quantum physics that is observable in large scale, as supposed to the atomic scale that quantum effects are normally associated with. A material becomes a superconductor when it reaches a temperature that allows energy to have zero resistance while traveling through the object. Normally an object’s conductivity is subject to resistance, which will cause the energy traveling through the object to be expelled via heat. This is why batteries run out of power when you put them inside something, because that energy is eventually expelled out of the wires via heat instead of continuing to circulate in the circuitry. In a Superconductor, the energy never leaves the circuitry and continues the circuit indefinitely until it no longer has its super conductive properties. 


This is consistent with Gems in Steven Universe, as all the energy they will ever need is inside their gems. While real life super conductors require intensely cold (or hot) temperatures in order to achieve this quantum state of conductivity, the Gems themselves appear to be a highly sought after theoretical state simply referred to as a “room temperature superconductor.”

 

A room temperature superconductive material would change the world of technology forever. Extremely advanced technology that is theoretically possible, but require an intense amount of energy with conventionally conductive materials, would be able to achieve the same effects with a room temperature superconductor with very little or no energy loss. As long as the equilibrium of Superconductivity is maintained, anything that utilized such materials would be able to function indefinitely.

This as well is consistent with Gems from Steven Universe. While each gem has variations on how much power they can exert at a given time, as long as they maintain within their boundaries and limitations, their gem forms will hold and sustain themselves for thousands of years with no sign of deterioration. This would also explain why maintaining larger hard light bodies than their Gems are equipped for is taxing for them. By pushing themselves beyond their equilibrium, they are losing their superconductivity and are losing energy from their gems via heat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0Mm7bI1SIM

 When a gem is poofed, they retreat inside of their gems restore the equilibrium that superconductivity offers before reforming their bodies.

Can a Gem behave as a Superconductor? Gems, Diamonds and the like are composed of Carbon. Carbon can most definitely be used as a superconductor, especially as shown with experiments with a substance called Graphene. 

Graphene is essentially a 2 dimensional diamond, a lattice of carbon a single atom thick that is intensely durable (many times stronger than steel) and is a step in the direction of finding that coveted room temperature superconductor. Part of the process that takes place in the Kindergartens therefore, is changing the gem from a conventionally conductive substance to a room temperature super conductor, and feeding the energy that is drained from around them into the gem so it can achieve equilibrium inside of it and they can pop out fully formed. 

This would also explain why better formed gems like The Era 1′s are able to create things like Gem Weapons, while Era 2′s can’t even shapeshift. Gems like Garnet have energy to spare, so they can use it to create other hard light structures besides their bodies without affecting their equilibrium, while a gem like Peridot cannot afford such exertion. 

So far we’ve explained that, theoretically speaking, the Gems are a room temperature superconductive structure made of carbon, which house within them an equilibrium of energy that can be used to manipulate photons into behaving like particles, which they use to comprise their physical forms. Next is to explain where the intelligence and personality comes from. This is decidedly easier to explain. 

The Gems are artificial intelligence.

 Each atom inside of this room-temperature superconductive gem is a transistor, the thing that sends those 1′s and 0′s that are the building blocks of any and all computer programs and languages. We already have single atom transistors, so applying them in an intricate structure in the form of a seemingly ordinary gemstone is both plausible and practical. In fact we are currently working on a device that uses graphene (that afore mentioned 2 dimensional diamond) that uses light instead of electricity to compute things. In the lattice of graphene there is a single atom which operates as an “optical switch” 



Or a switch that can be flipped on an off at the speed of a photon. 

To put it in more simplistic terms: Its a computer that does its computing at the speed of light and is woven together at the atomic level, not with visible circuit boards. The kind of processing power such a structure would have would definitely allow for an artificial intelligence comparable with or even significantly smarter than the average human. 

So to recap: A Gem from Steven Universe, in real life, would theoretically be an Artificial intelligence, programmed into an atomic, superconductive-supercomputer (which computes at the speed of a photon/light) made of a type of carbon, has an equilibrium of light based energy within itself that won’t deplete as long as they stay within their boundaries of how hard they can exert themselves, and can manipulate photons into behaving like particles which comprise their physical forms. 

abrilmonsterhigh  asked:

How do you draw bodies? Or legs? It's great, your art style is great.

Ohh well thank you! 💛 And bodies, like faces, I draw by sort of taking inventory. I consider these things as separate factors to adjust per drawing/character.

And I know for some people muscles are the most difficult part, but as long as you have a basic understanding of the simple shapes and forms involved, it’s easier to adapt it to any style. 

I can’t say I’m as well acquainted with legs, but most follow a basic movement that goes inward at the knee and outward and back in at the ankle to ground it. 

But overall, I’d just suggest a lot of studies. Really adjusting yourself to the human form through multiple, successive poses can help you get more familiar with it. Hope that helps! 💛

10

I wanted… to die. I thought I had to apologize to Mom… But… I couldn’t do it. I wondered… what you guys would think if I died. I thought something fun might be in store for tomorrow, too. I thought, “I don’t want to die yet!

the pull of the tides (m)

pairing: park jimin | reader
genre: surfer au / fluff, light smut 
word count: 12,513
description: The expanse of the deep blue sea has always drawn you in. Each ebb and flow of the tides never ceasing to take your breath away. And now, a boy with hair as light as the morning sun and a smile just as bright does too. 
author’s note: i dedicate this to @workofteaguk ‘cuz look girl, it’s finally here! and i also dedicate this to @jamlessness because you told you have yet to write a jimin fic so i wrote one for the two of us! okay, and @wonhopes too because i subjected her to read over this thing kjddghsjdkh <3 

also, bless this post for the inspiration!

Originally posted by lonastic


When you were young, you begged your parents to take you to see the beach. This was your family vacation suggestion every year. All because you wanted to feel the sand between your toes and slip between your fingers and to watch each grain land right back where it was meant to be. And much like those grains of sand falling away from you, those trips seems to go by, and eventually they ceased the older you got.

Since then, being a prime age of twenty now, you’ve long since yearned to return to the beach town you’ve come to know and love for more than its seaside views.

With school out for another few months and nothing but time to kill, you’re actually more than ecstatic to take up a summer job at Bang’s Snack Shack. It’s directly across from the shores, and the view is absolutely amazing. You can see the way the sun reflects against the waters when it’s high up in the sky and when it goes down. The rays of orange and yellows bounce off the blues in a pretty swirl with small dots of people enjoying the waves on long boards. Each of them practically floating as the blue hues carry them across the vicinity until they’re in the safe confines of the wading area.

You enjoy the sight of surfers though you’re definitely no surfer yourself. You just find their ability in skimming the waters on a long piece of polished and colored wood amazing, especially when they’re at the peak of the waves build-up, and suddenly they’re coming back to the sands with bright eyes and grins to match on their sun-kissed skins. There’s just something beautiful in their enamored states, and although you can never truly understand it, you’re happy to witness it with your own two eyes until a customer snaps you back to reality.

Keep reading

There should have been pain. There wasn’t any pain.

Commission for @wedomorrison of their version of Jack and Gabe. I was pretty excited when I got this because Reaper just sounds like he has his own form and then he also can have a type of almost symbiote-esque relationship with Jack and thats just. AAAAAH let’s just say I was pretty stoked for the commission. And I might get more??? I might get more aah im so excited.


Anyway, if you haven’t checked their fic, it’s over here. Jack is all scarred up something fierce and Reaper tends to touch places he shouldn’t but I kind of love that all around. Warnings for gore and such, but other than that, it’s a fun read. World needs more monstery goopy Gabe~.

Pluto thru the Houses

Pluto in the First House – these people are very intense. It may seem like they’re looking straight through you sometimes, probably because they are. Someone with Pluto in the 1st house individuals view life as a series of struggles with many traumatic ups and downs, and the occasional drastic change to their overall self. These people are not looking for the superficial; they want to know the how, what, where, why, who, and probably more. They want to understand the world and the people in it. Typically, you’d find that someone with Pluto in the 1st house may have experienced trauma at birth, or the mother did during birth. These people do not back down, if something is in their path they simply move it out of the way and make room for more possibilities. They have very destructive powers and can be somewhat masterminds at using it onto others; they are great manipulators. They can probably convince you to do a lot of things you could not see yourself ever doing, but because they’re saying to do it, it doesn’t seem so bad. However these people are always on guard and looking out for themselves, they see life as survival of the fittest. They tend to experience a lot of personal growth through their life and are usually very wise even only in their 20′s, it seems like they’ve experienced and felt everything life has to offer. Their eyes are keen and penetrating. Their suppressed emotions can erupt sometimes, rising to the surface, causing them to act in extremes. They are the epitome of intense. They may not trust the world as a whole. Pluto in the 1st house people may have experienced life or death situations, or extreme trauma in their lives, usually making them very strong people with thick skin. They present themselves in a very secretive and covert way to others. A lot of people find themselves very attracted to these people, with no explanation as to why.

Pluto in the Second House – the 2nd house rules money, Pluto rules obsessions, so it’s an obvious and superficial answer to say that people with Pluto here will be obsessed with money – although it can be true. However, someone with this placement may hold secret and hidden talents/ways of making money that could change the world. These people may be hoarders, with money or materials. Some may see money and possessions as a symbol of power and superiority; some may see it as being closer to God. Their income is likely to come from Pluto-like professions/careers: psychology, therapy, medical fields, detective, undercover jobs, or healing professions.

Pluto in the Third House – mixing Pluto with the house of thinking and communication adds a very deep, penetrating and Scorpionic flavor to someone’s brain. The goal for these people is to transcend and penetrate through the superficial or typical trains of thought or ideas and dive so much deeper into the grain. These people are great at studying, researching, investigating, etc. The 3rd house also rules siblings and who we grew up with. Pluto in the 3rd house individuals may feel as if they had to fend for themselves growing up, resulting in becoming very defensive over themselves and always trying to put themselves first to avoid manipulation and/or abuse. These people are also very intuitive, and it seems as if when they think about something or mention something, it happens the next day. Which can be scary sometimes. It may have been difficult for these people to open up in their childhood due to the feeling of keeping everything inside to avoid vulnerability and/or manipulation.

Pluto in the Fourth House – having such a powerful planet on one of the angles in the chart (1st, 4th, 7th, 10th houses) is not something to not take lightly. Pluto in the 4th house individuals may of had to deal with a mother that was Plutonic herself. She may have taken her emotions out on her children, been very restrictive, possessive, domineering, obsessive, or there could have been something to cause all of this in her – a death in the family, mostly, because Pluto rules death. Death can mean a lot of things though. Divorce, actual death, the endings to things can all mean death. The childhood may have been very complex, dark and twisty, and many traumas may have been felt or occurred in the childhood (by the mother, probably). These individuals with Pluto residing in the 4th house may have had to grow up fast, and became wise at a very young age, feeling as if they’ve felt the world’s pain just inside their own household.

Pluto in the Fifth House – someone with Pluto in the 5th house takes the pleasures and leisurely themes of the 5th house to high extremes. It can be very hard for these people to loosen up or just let go and have fun for once. They can have a tendency to take life very seriously. They make become self destructive in these areas of the 5th house too, like through casual sex; these people are not the type for that. They may also attract Scorpio/Pluto types in relationships, even stalkers at times. The person with Pluto in the 5th house may feel like some kind of tortured artist; having so much inspiration, creativity and desire but just cannot get any of it out. They must learn valuable lessons in life of pleasure and creativity and to stop being their own worst enemy/critic, and to just let it pour out of themselves. These people, as children, may have been told “no” a lot, for having different or “dark” interests. They may love dark themed art, movies, photography, etc, and take part in it themselves. They may be fascinated with Scorpionic topics that are taboo, but they don’t see it as taboo. They see it as, “why don’t more people know about this? Why is this kept such a secret?” thus resulting in societal-based inappropriate expressions of feelings, such as loss and death. They can have addiction problems as well and it would be wise of them to avoid gambling, drinking, drugs, etc, as best as they possibly could.

Pluto in the Sixth House – Pluto in the house of daily routine, jobs, and service can result in obsessive tendencies in all of these the 6th house as to offer. Someone with Pluto here may have obsessive daily activities, whether it’s as simple as needing to walk the dog every single day at 7 o’clock or drink/do drugs, etc. It is just the fact that it’s obsessive and nearly compulsive. They may be subject to being hypochondriacs as well, being obsessed with their own health to an unhealthy point. Eating disorders may be something Pluto in the 6th house has to struggle with in their life. Basic everyday activities turn into compulsive rituals with Pluto in the 6th, getting dressed in the morning may be the biggest event of all to them. Pluto in the 6th could have a very strict dietary pattern though, could be very obsessive with their intake. May like to indulge or “binge” then stop completely, knowing their limits. Pluto here, since it rules sex and the sexual organs, can lead to STD or other sexual diseases. They may suffer from extreme stress or tension. It’s important to not always push yourself so hard on a daily basis or in your job, find something you love to relax. Pluto here needs time out of their day to relax and calm down. Yoga is recommended.

Pluto in the Seventh House – the 7th house represents who we attract, what we are attracted to (in some cases), what we project onto others, and what we can be projected as. With Pluto here, relationships are not taken lightly. The individual with Pluto in the 7th house may attract Plutonic people themselves – obsessive, possessive, controlling, manipulative, etc. Though those are just the negative qualities of Pluto, they may also attract the lighter side of Pluto and experience the true transformation desired through relationships. The person with Pluto here experiences relationships as a type of awakening. There may be power struggles present in the person’s relationships, where one may desire more control over the other – and most commonly, it is not the person with Pluto in the 7th house. They may give in to manipulation and take this sort of abuse from their partner. The person with Pluto in the 7th house definitely feels like relationships are catalysts for self transformation and rebuilding. There could be a reoccurring theme of suffocation in relationships; ones that are too smothering, too over-protective. Interactions between others for the person with Pluto here are addictive and sometimes dependent. They can become addicted to relationships and the feeling of enhancement it brings them. It is wise for those with this Pluto placement to avoid those that exhibit Pluto’s lower functions; obsession, possession, and the desire for ultimate control.

Pluto in the Eighth House – in Pluto’s ruling house, it feels very at home. Pluto in the 8th house individuals can experience major life changes, or most commonly the individual will experience one major life transformation that completely marks them forever. They will be very attracted to 8th house themes: sex, death, transformation, power/survival, and money (other people’s). Intimate relationships are felt with every fiber of the person’s soul; they mostly result in major changes in both people involved. Sex can be consuming for the person with Pluto in the 8th house; the sex drive is likely high, because of the personal connection and how much they feel they resonate with it. These people are very probing and will more than likely be interested in the occult and 8th house surrounding themes. They may have some kind of hidden death wish.

Pluto in the Ninth House – Pluto in the 9th house individuals may have gotten so obsessed and even involved with their beliefs from a traumatic or high pressured situations. Those moments where you’re praying to god that nothing bad will happen, and that you will be singled out and saved by some supernatural force or higher power. Those moments convinced the Pluto in the 9th house individual that “this is real, this is what’s going to save me, and I must do what I can to pay them back.” These people can feel some kind of obligation and obsession with their belief systems. There can obviously be a fascination with occult, philosophy, archaeology, or alchemy. They can search intensely for the meaning of life, and are strong believers in the phrase “Knowledge is power”. They believe what you know will save you. Pluto in the 9th house individuals can feel greatly impacted by their higher education opportunities and feel that it is or was the most influential factor in their life. They are fiercely stubborn in their beliefs as well.

Pluto in the Tenth House – the 10th house, or Midheaven, is the highest point on the natal chart. The 10th house is what other’s see, your reputation, how others are perceiving you to be. With Pluto here, it may take a while for the public or others in your career field to like you as a person. You seem like a powerful and intimidating force. Many of the world’s most famous (and infamous) leaders have Pluto in the 10th, or harshly aspecting the 10th house, like Vladimir Putin for a good example (pluto square the midheaven). Those with Pluto in the 10th house experience self transformation through their career. The individual’s ambition is highly developed, and there is a drive where nothing can stop you from reaching your end goal. The career will be found within Plutonian fields: psychology, detective, healer, investigating, or something involved in business. The person with Pluto in the 10th house will usually take their career and lead it onto a completely new path; addressing the things that no one will talk about or make an effort to change or acknowledge. Eminem has this placement, and it’s easy to see that. They challenge and change society, and that usually becomes what they are known for.

Pluto in the Eleventh House – the 11th house rules groups, social circles and dreams/aspirations. When Pluto is found in this house, it can usually result in the individual experiencing intense and life-changing relationships with those involved in their social life – so, friends. Friends play a huge role on this person because they are the most influential and powerful force in their life. The individual with Pluto in the 11th house may attract “powerful” friends in their life – those well known, for good or bad. Pluto here can give someone extreme anxiety or paranoia when it comes to crowds or being surrounded by new people (strangers may scare them). The need to control or dominate their friend group, or any kind of group, may become a real problem in their lives. Common effects of Pluto are jealousy and mistrust, and this can occur as well in their social circle – the individual with Pluto in the 11th must learn to not be so mistrustful of those they call their friends but they feel they cannot help it at times. They believe they have a reason to feel that way. The positive side however, is the bond of very powerful, long lasting and reliable friendships.

Pluto in the Twelfth House – the 12th house is the most unconscious, self-unaware house – it is almost impossible to fully understand, because it is the part of ourselves that we most commonly reject. With such a powerful planet in this house, there is definitely an ultimate fear of losing control, and may result in self destructive tendencies that can occur unconsciously. People with this placement are usually somewhat masochistic – not even always sexually but emotionally. They tend to take on a lot of weight and pain from others onto yourself which can hurt them a lot at times. This is usually a placement representing some kind of abuse or trauma, usually sexual. With Pluto working behind the scenes of the chart, you have someone that’s very spiritually and intuitively gifted though. They’d make a detective probably. This placement can be very difficult though because it can feel like you’re being faced with your demons a lot. Pluto in the 12th can experience a lot of emotional turmoil. It’s an intense planet in an intense house. You could have really raw and intense (maybe violent) desires (sexually) (that you could feel ashamed of, probably, because of the nature of the planet & house). It’s really important for people with Pluto here to have some kind of emotional outlet to let out distress because self destructive tendencies are likely.

I was at a talk recently and a question came up about whether or not Marvel’s taking flak or a sales hit from “forcing” diversity into their titles and if a drop in income is linked to the shit-fit from reactionaries on social media, and it’s like, how would you even begin to tease that out as a general trend–“Marvel sees sales dip”–from a loss of income due to, for instance, taking Captain America and making him a fucking Nazi?

Like, I am just generally not interested in Black Panther as a character, but I’ll read an entire twelve-issue story arc about fucking Wakandan property tax reform starring T’Challa’s least favorite cousin at sticker price before I pay one red cent to have Nick Spencer-sockpuppet Steve Rogers maunder at me about the benefits of racist authoritarianism for half a page.  And I somehow doubt I’m the only one making that sort of call.

Camp Camp Headcanons

uhhhhh this is really stupid but my friends said they’re good so uh here
(i wrote most of these while watching the episodes so i just typed them really fast)

- neil is gay and trans
- david is a smol
- he’s also a stronk
- he’s also bi
- gwen is a lesbian
- so is nikki
- max signed up for music camp
- david is a literal puppy
- bonquisha(? is that how you spell it??) and gwen probably start dating at one point
- quartermaster is immortal
- bonquisha is demipan, (masculine leaning)
- daniel is gonna come back and be like ‘haha hey remember when we were singing and you said let’s end this in the finale? well guess who’s here binch’
- preston is musical fandom trash and he isn’t afraid to show it off
- dolph claims to be german but he’s actually austrian
- space kid probably has the worlds strongest lungs jfc
- nerris is a demi girl
- max is neglected at home (i’m a fucking sucker for this shit i have no clue why)
- after like 3 years of being dumped at camp max’s parents leave him and he gets fostered then adopted by david (i m s u c h a s u c k e r f o r t h i s s h i t)
- if jasper hadn’t died he probably would say radical and tubular unironically
- the platypus gets spoiled by gwen
- gwen and nerris are sisters
- neil’s parents are v e r y tall like idk bout you but i don’t think that kind of height can come from short parents
- erin is gay
- max still fucking cuddles the bear when no ones looking and when he’s really comfortable in an environment or with the people around him he’ll just walk around with it
- qm is probs immortal from incest (maybe???? honestly idk)
- david is actually really aware of how cynical and mean hearted the kids are to him, but ever since that day when he realized how much he liked camp campbell, he believes that the kids can see it too
- in ep one when they go to the area with all the main activities, nurf is hanging out by a bunch of tomatoes, and maybe he gardens as a hobby?? idk maybe it like calms him or some shit
- max either had music camp or sewing camp, because 1. max made a full size max doll in like 5 seconds or he just?? had it in his hoodie i don’t fuckin know, 2. mr. honey nuts is like super worn and old, and max probably picked up sewing to make sure that he never actually fell apart or broke, and 3. have you imagined this kid playing violin idk about you but fuck i’m all on board for the music camp theory
- max is super skinny underneath the hoodie [david is seen like picking him up and carrying him like he’s a feather] (parent neglect and that shit) and it doesn’t help that the food served at camp is like radioactive horse shit
- max is demipan too (feminine leaning)
- NEVERMIND MAX IS A FUCKING KNITTING MASTER HE MADE ANOTHER MAX DOLL AND A NEIL AND NIKKI DOLL WHEN DAVID DIDNT EVEN FINISH THE FIRST FUCKING PART OF THE CAMP CAMP THEME
- neil’s hair is a stick, bug, leaf, and any other camping item magnet. he probably found a bass in there once (ew)
- david knows all the police by a first name basis
- and he’s like best friends with all the hookers and strippers and stuff. he actually goes there and hangs out, simply because the ladies are so nice
- um,, i’m 90% sure this is canon,, but neil’s parents are divorced
- preston is a complete sugar junkie, but his parents don’t let him have any sugar because he will destroy the place if he gets even a grain too much
- max watches south park
- space kid is actually really smart??? like he knows all of the dwarf planets and a lot about our solar system
- even though nerris is like, a huge dork with cards n shit, they probably took a lot of fighting classes??? like holy shit can that gal kick ass

if people like this i’ll come up with more :,0

A piece of advice for parents of kids whose disabilities are starting to become apparent.

You’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who don’t respect your relationship to your child very much. You know a lot about your kid, and you’re probably going to have to deal with a lot of people who treat you like nothing you have to say matters.

You’re also probably going to have to deal with well-meaning people who say things like “you’re the expert on your kid!!!”. This sentiment can be affirming in some ways when people aren’t taking you seriously, but it can also be toxic.

Taken literally, “you’re the expert on your kid” isn’t true — and it doesn’t need to be. Even aside from disability, kids are complicated. No parent understands everything about their kid. Every parent faces confusing situations, and every parent makes mistakes. Parenting kids with disabilities tends to mean being confused more of the time. That’s ok. You don’t need to be a perfect expert on your kid. It’s both impossible and unnecessary.

There will be times when you have absolutely no idea. When your kid is struggling and you don’t know why, and strategies you’re trying aren’t working. When that happens, you’re still your kid’s parent, and the relationship still matters. You’re not going to be an expert on every aspect of your kid at all times, and that’s ok.

Sometimes when you don’t know what to do, others have useful ideas. It’s worth being aware that good strategies tend to get developed in silos. If you’re only looking in one context, it’s worth trying more. For instance, there are things medical/therapy professionals often know, things adult activists living with the same disability often know, things teaches often know, and so on. It can also be worth looking outside of your child’s disability group — resources intended for one disability are often helpful for another, and groups don’t always talk to each other.

(This goes double if your child is autistic. Nothing disabling about autism is completely unique to autism; all of it’s shared with some other disabilities. Resources associated with other conditions are often better (and less behaviorist.).

All that said — you will probably face situations in which none of that helps. Sometimes you’ll seek out all kinds of perspectives and still find that nothing you’re aware of helps enough. When that happens, you may attract people who give you a lot of bad advice loudly. When you’re worried, it can be hard not to believe people who yell at you and tell you that they are experts.

Don’t get psyched out by professionals who try to convince you to stop thinking for yourself. They’re good at sounding right in intimidating ways. They often do not actually know what they are talking about. And ultimately, you are your kid’s parent, and all parents are clueless sometimes, all parents make mistakes, and you and your child are allowed to be human.

Similarly, as your child grows up, they will grow apart from you in some ways. That’s how kids are, and that’s part of how maturity works. Teenagers do things that their parents don’t understand. All the more so, adults do things that their parents don’t understand. Even in childhood, no one can really be a complete expert on another human being. Disability doesn’t change that. It’s not going to be possible to be an expert on your kid, and that’s ok. They’re a person, and so are you.

Tl;dr “You are the expert on your kid” is too much pressure. There’s a grain of truth, but it doesn’t reflect reality — and it doesn’t need to. There are a lot of unsolved problems in disability support — and in any case, no human being can really be an expert on someone else.

As a phan shipper (you’re allowed to leave, I know everyone isn’t sharing my opinion) a thing I think about a lot is how we focus to much on direct actions as proof.

Because actions are so easy to both prove and disprove as ‘phan proof’, what we really should talk about is their fondness, their relationship. Because it’s not ‘that iconic tweet clearly stating them being a couple’ that makes me want to believe them a more then friendly relationship, it the fact they they have know each other as one another’s best friend for eight years+, lived together for multiple years, moved together multiple times, a forever home.

I mean do you really get a forever home with someone being solely your best friend (well, unless you consider yourself ace or aro), wouldn’t you want something more in life?

But this is also really just actions, what I really mean is just how well they know each other, how close they are, how many couply stereotypes they fulfil, the big parts they play in one another’s lives.

And as the last nail in the coffin. I’ve known my best friend for eight years (so about as long as we know they have known each other), for the better half of my life, she knows me better than any person outside family knows me, we are both out as being on the queer spectra to one another. But yet we’ll never have the same kind of relationship as dan and Phil have, it could of course be explained by that they have lived together for so long, but we’ve basically raised each other throughout the first few years of school. We aren’t nor have we ever been romantically involved likewise have we despite having basically the same conditions from the get-go, never had the same kind of connection as they have, because the emotional foundation in a relationship is different between best friends for life and lovers.

This is a sappy overly psychoanalysing mess, which may or may not make any sense. This is solely based on my own thoughts and experiences, so feel free to drop a hate oozing anon message in my ask, if your opinion is that I’m overwhelmingly wrong! :)
As previously stated, this is just my own opinion and analysis, so take it with a pinch of salt.