much butter

if you experience depression, reblog with your opinion on:

  • plain tortilla chips eaten with nothing on them
  • eating cereal by the handful, straight out of the box
  • cold, 4-day old leftovers
  • peanut butter straight out of the jar
  • eating two slices of bread

my piece for memberzine.
sadly, the project has been on hold for so long that I dont really want to be a part of it anymore
i thought you might as well enjoy the stick of truth vibes


💖by slime.jewel on ig 💖

If you want some idea of how much autistic people struggle to understand allistic people when they don’t say exactly what they mean, take a cooking recipe and replace all units of measure with “enough but not too much”. For example:

    • enough but not too much white sugar
    • enough but not too much butter
    • enough but not too many eggs
    • enough but not too much vanilla extract
    • enough but not too much flour
    • enough but not too much baking powder
    • enough but not too much milk
  • preheat oven to hot enough but not too hot
  • bake for long enough but not too long

Even someone who’s experienced with cooking would probably struggle to follow that recipe. Now imagine if they had no experience cooking and had no idea what these ingredients are.

Neighbor POV

I don’t know when I’ll get around to actually writing this, but I have this idea floating around that I love: Jack’s new neighbors making wrong inferences based on what bits (heh) they overhear.

• At first they’re a bit awe-struck/leery when this famous hockey player moves in. At this point, he’s not really a ::person:: to them yet, he’s still a character. But one by one they figure out that contrary to whatever the media is peddling, Jack Zimmermann is an awkward dork, so the majority of their floor secretly adopts him. They may or may not take turns spilling coffee on or ‘bumping into’ any paps who camp outside their building. Jack never figures this out
• 'I heard him talking to a Betty or Betsy the other day!’ Cue joy, bc they were starting to worry that he needed friends outside of the Falcs roster
• Then August rolls in with the overwhelming scent of cinnamon and sugar
• They immediately joke that Jack Zimmermann is dating Betty Crocker
• Someone bumps into a new blonde kid in the elevator with his arms absolutely ::laden:: with grocery bags (so much butter), and they assume it’s someone new to the building til he gets off on their floor, too, and then oh, OH he juggles the bags to take out a key to Jack’s place, and— then their partner drags them around the corner and lectures them for gawking
• look, they live in a nice building with thick walls, but LORD they can still hear the bass line of Partition
• Jack’s immediate neighbors are a married couple, and at first they were a bit leery of this new (big) jock’s reaction, but he didn’t treat them any different than the other neighbors (which was with admittedly more of a distant [tired] politeness, but eventually they all figured out he wasn’t aloof, the poor boy just had zero social skills) so for the longest time, they thought Jack didn’t realize they were a gay couple and was instead assuming they were just roommates. But then one night they were dressed to the nines, on their way out to celebrate their anniversary, and they ran into Jack in the elevator. And over the sound of the elevator music, on their way down to the lobby, Jack asked (wistfully?) 'Date night, eh?’ And the couple look each other in the eye before they admit it’s their tenth anniversary. Jack beams, offers his congratulations, and asks where they’re heading. Later, they find out that their fancy meal had been paid for, along with a pre-ordered slice of celebratory pie that 'passes muster’
• They all keep seeing the blonde kid, and they all learn that he’s the sweetest, kindest kid ever, always real helpful if ever anyone’s struggling with their bags or trying to wrangle over-excited dogs, but he really seems like he’s trying to hold back. If ever any paps are camped out, he goes real pale and ghosts. He never introduces himself.
• Finally, someone overhears Jack call the kid 'Bitty’ and it all just clicks.

…I can’t decide which way I want to take it from here? Do they all agree to become their secret-keeper? Do they go out of their way to distract the paps as much as to protect this Bitty as they do for Jack? Or do the couple next door gently offer their congratulations, to let them know they have their support? All I know is they organize a floor-wide party to celebrate when Jack and Bitty come out, and Jack realizes how much he has his neighbors’ support, and (I need him to know this) how much they’ve become his friends, too.