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Got the Be More Chill book by Ned Vizzini from the library after listening to the musical
Jenna is the Coolest girl in class (caps from the book), and her pool of gossip is pretty much limited to her friend Elizabeth and said friend’s “sluttiness”.
I want to like the detail of Jeremy’s “Humiliation Sheets,” spreadsheets where he tallies day-to-day embarrassments like being laughed at or ignored, but every time they’re brought up it’s… super weird?
So far what we know about Jake is, “The big story was that Jake Dillinger had sex with his model from Czechoslovakia who was dating his dad, which I believe. Jake can do anything.” He’s brought up a few more times, and Jeremy makes sure to mention this model each time. (Is this supposed to be impressive??? I’m just super creeped out by every aspect of this)
There’s a kid named Mark Jackson talking to a kid named Jackson Marks
Jeremy: “I just look at [Christine] and think about her a lot because she’s beautiful, you know? I mean she’s intelligent and sweet and everything else that a girl is supposed to be to offset her beauty, but even if she were idiotic and mean, she’d still be beautiful and I’d still be contorted.” Uhhhh…
Speaking of Christine, I was afraid she’d have 0 personality. I was wrong. She has 1 personality, and that personality is, “Girls make no sense, bro.” Everything Jeremy says to her, she finds fault with and berates him for. Now, I’m all for girls being allowed to get frustrated, but Christine’s written as a absolute jerk for the sake of making a point about “girls not being easy to reduce into a series of instructions to follow”.
We meet Michael in the cafeteria. “Michael smiles and lets chewed fish-cheese roll through the gap in his teeth. It plats onto the tray in front of him.” I’m charmed.
It all started very awkwardly. Manik ‘ordering’ Nandini to smile because he did know what else to do to cheer her up when she broke down crying at her brother’s condition. Of course she didn’t smile because, “you can’t just order someone to smile!” Since then, Manik has been obsessed about her smile. It annoys him when she doesn’t smile in his presence. It makes him tick when she does it so freely with Dhruv. No matter how much he tries to ignore this, this thing is always alive at the back of his mind. He gets jealous, angry, insulting, sarcastic and he just never lets it go. And when she does smile in his presence, not the forced smile but the one which comes naturally, freely, beautifully, he doesn’t even realize it. Because then he is not being the 'Monster’ Manik, the one who wants the world to go as he wishes. The one who is in charge, who dictates the actions of others. The Monster Manik she hates. He is just being Manik, the one who hates the darkness and its silence. The vulnerable guy who is as bit as human as she is. The moment he showed his human side, she smiled. The smile he’d been demanding for for days. In that moment, you could see the guy who Fate had bound her with. For whom the fireflies dance. The human him which she is meant to be with. If one glimpse of that human can make her smile so, despite all her insistence that she would never do, when he completely bares his vulnerable, human side to her, just how will her reaction be? This is why I love them. Their progress till here and from here on, it never renders anything that has happened to them useless in the long run. It’s like all that has happened was a part of a plan to bring them here. Where he is talking of his fears and she is understanding them. And smiling. From her own free will.