mtg power

as always, if someone wants to wish bad pulls for their nemesis, you can contact me and i can use my dark mtg powers to wish horrible cards onto your enemies

3

Lotuses, the roses of MtG.

Their powerful and yet captivating renditions within the world of MtG are ever-fascinating and have surely been deciding factors in a game on more than one occasion. And justifiably so.

This is a little tribute to them. Herein, World Lotus is the first of my creations to implement the new Colorheart mechanic, which is a variation of the mechanic I recently introduced.

Cheatyface Plays

  • play it under a land and reveal it later
  • play it under a creature and reveal it later
  • play it under literally any permanent and reveal it later
  • play it under another, legally cast Cheatyface
  • point at the door and say “who ordered pizza?” sneak it on while they are distracted (and disappointed)
  • play it under another, cheated in Cheatyface
  • ask to look at an opponent’s card, put Cheatyface under it when you put it back, ask to see it again and hope they focus on you instead of the Cheatyface you just left on the table
  • do the tablecloth trick but with all the card on top of the tablecloth. have a Cheatyface under the tablecloth. you either succeed in pulling the table cloth off quickly enough to leave all the cards behind, along with your now revealed Cheatyface, or you pull everything off into a huge mess and have bigger problems to worry about
  • play it under a token and reveal it later
  • place it next to your graveyard after discarding some cards–you actually placed it onto the battlefield but they don’t know that
  • catch something on fire. play Cheatyface while they are distracted
  • play it under and instant or sorcery
  • play Cheatyface while staring your opponent directly in the eye. when they call you out, hand them a get out of jail free card from Monopoly and insist Cheatyface is now a legal play
  • play Cheatyface in any sanctioned tournament
  • cut cheaty face into small pieces and hide bits of it in the sleeves of your other cards. play this card and slide out the bits of Cheatyface, leaving them face up on the table. assemble the bits of Cheatyface
  • be ron swanson
Actual Conversation at Work - Trial by Magic

I work as a Software Training Specialist, and yesterday afternoon I received a rather urgent call from the corporate recruiter for the company I work at. She was trying to find a solution for evaluating a training candidate and asked for my help. The conversation that follows is all true (though slightly abridged.) 


Recruiter: “I’ve got this candidate with lots of experience, and he interviews really well, but the V.P. wants to be sure he can learn our software. So I’m going to have him do a 30-minute presentation where he teaches me something.” 

Me: “That sounds like a good idea. And can he do his presentation on anything? Or does it have to be something he doesn’t already know.” 

Recruiter: “It has to be something he doesn’t know yet, because we want him to show that he can learn and internalize complex concepts quickly. But I have no idea what topic to use. It needs to be complex, but it can’t be industry-specific, and it has to be something he can research on his own.” 

Me: “OK, got it. How soon do you need a topic?” 

Recruiter: “I told him I’d try to send him an email before I leave for the weekend. And I have to leave in five minutes.” 

Me: “Alright, so you need something now.” 

Recruiter: “Yeah, I know this is really last-minute. If you can’t think of anything, I’ll just have to get back to him next week.” 

Me: “Well, let’s see… I mean, the first thing that comes to my mind is to have him teach you a game.” 

Recruiter: “OK, like what?” 

Me: *takes a moment to decide whether to actually say what I’m thinking*

Recruiter: “…” 

Me: “Magic: the Gathering.” 

Recruiter: “OK. What’s that?” 

Me: “It’s a game. It’s complex enough to be a challenge, but it’s definitely doable. If he can learn it well enough to teach it in time for his presentation to you, that will be a pretty good indication of his skills.” 

Recruiter: “Well, since I don’t know anything about it, I suppose I’ll be a good audience to see if he can teach a beginner. And you’re sure it’s something he can research on his own?” 

Me: “Definitely. There’s plenty of material online to look up.” 

Recruiter: “Great!! I guess now we just have to hope he’s not a gamer.” 

Me: “I wouldn’t worry. Even if he does already know the game, it would still take skill to teach it to somebody in a 30-minute online presentation. By the way, if you schedule the meeting when I’m available, I’d be happy to silently listen in and I can tell you if his instructions are correct.” 

Recruiter: “Perfect!! Thanks, Dave!” 

*two minutes later, a message arrives in my inbox* 

Recruiter: “Just sent the email. Have a great weekend!” 

Me: What have I just done to this man’s life… 


So yeah… That seriously just happened at work yesterday… 

Sorin Markov, you vampiric asshole!
—  Nahiri (and probably a bunch of other people), most definitely

LIED! CHEATED!

WARE WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP YEEN THINK

HOW YEEN SUPPOSED TO THINK WHEN AWAKE ALL NIGHT HEARING WIND IN MINE WHOOSHING???

THE “awooooo” IS FINE IS WOLFSONG AND PRETTY

BUT

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH”

IS UGLY! IS WAKING FROM SLUMBER! LOOKIT EVEN BURD IN IMAGE IS SURPRIS!

CAN SOMEONE PLEAS TAKE IS GIVING THE ACHES IN HEAD. YEEN WOULD BE MOST GREATFUL IF THE SHOUTY PLACE WAS MOVED ELSEWHERE MANNY THANKS