When Richard and I have kids...
We plan on using gender neutral names.
We also plan on dressing our children in gender neutral clothes until they are old enough to choose their own clothing.
This includes gender neutral toys, but also making available BOTH stereotypical gendered toys.
I want to also use gender neutral pronouns until they are old enough to know what a pronoun is.
This is going to be so hard for our families to grasp.
My hope for our children is that our family and friends respect our wishes. Because here’s the thing: everyone is going to try and put our children into boxes. Boxes that don’t exist.
I want my children to be free to grow into themselves. To discover exactly who they are and to feel free and safe doing just that.
If my child comes home at 5 years old and says “my friend says she’s a girl and I think I’m a girl will you say she and call me a girl?” I will say “absolutely.”
And if they come home at 7 years old and say “I think I was wrong… Maybe I’m a boy… I just don’t know…” I will say “honey, if you want us to call you a boy and say he/him, then we will and you can try it on for size and we will figure out what is good for you.”
And I will tell them that they can be one or the other or neither or both and we will try every pronoun until we find one that fits.
And we will do this not only for gender, but also sexuality and hobbies and interests and for gods sake, can we please just let children grow up in a world where we are all just human. No boxes.
My children will be beautiful. That’s it. That’s all we will call them.
Beautiful. And nothing else.