My favorite subway conductor is the angry dad. Put him on a rush hour train and just listen to the irritation grow.
“Step all the way in, please. Stand clear of the closing doors.”
“Please pull your bags out of the way of the closing doors.”
“Don’t lean against the subway doors, that keeps them from closing.”
“Will whoever is leaning against the subway doors please stop as you are preventing the doors from closing.”
“Well, ladies and gentlemen, it seems we won’t be moving anytime soon because someone is leaning against the subways doors and preventing them from closing.”
I swear if this subway car was a station wagon he would have pulled over to the side of the road and threatened to make us all walk the rest of the way home.